noah-zero-zero-eight

[noah-zero-zero-eight]

[noah-zero-zero-eight]

finished my assignment on time!! ironically, i realized i find the subject interesting, even if it's almost the end of the school year. a lot of it is categorizing and sorting spreadsheets, but i actually like the methodology. i had to take it in addition to the elective i did want to choose, but i appreaciate it more now for what it is. :)

my teacher just gave me an extended deadline on our assignment because she noticed i was one of the few that didn't cheat off of other people in the exam. she then said "i relate to you a lot because i'm sure if you had people to talk to in class you would have got it:)" HAHA thanks miss. she's kind of like my dad, vaguely. it's funny, because i always thought i'd end up like my mom.

we've been staying at school late, until maybe 8 or 9, to prepare for this dance we have next week. i almost didn't join because i'm not very good at exercise and miss the volleyball or basketball every PE class, but turns out it's fun so far.

i've been singing a lot. not professional or even hobby levels. just singing, when i'm walking or bored or while working. it's great for boredom. i also started another instagram account cos i wanted to be more private, mainly for my future career plans.

i read a new book and found some new music, midterms are two weeks away, things are going well.

࣪ ִֶָ☾.

i will fall - nashville cast

[noah-zero-zero-eight]

sleep. all i think of doing is sleeeeep. i slept through my first class, almost did through my second to the point where i spelled "at least" wrong in my notes, and slept again for 30 minutes of lunch. it sounds bad, but as much as possible i keep a weekly lesson tracker and write down notes all the time so i don't miss out too much. after i woke up during lunch i felt hot and my head hurt a lot. i'm pretty sure i have those lines you geton your arms after a really good nap, but on your forehead.

asides from that, my week was pretty good! not much happens in my life now, but it's more peaceful than you think. it's been almost a year since my "old life" and i realized it was time to let it go. i'm not gonna sacrifice the people and oppurtunities i have now for things that don't matter and won't change. instead, i'm trying to get into visualization again, and develop who i want to be stuff like that.

found a really nice app as well, it's an incorporation of a pomodoro timer and a dress-up game with really nice customization. i love pomodoro timers.

writing has woken me up a bit now, which is good because my next class is PE. i'll try to write more, i've already technically written my first story, but that's gonna stay in the private folders.

🪼⋆.ೃ࿔*:･

my heart is buried in venice - ricky montgomery

[noah-zero-zero-eight]

"you're all caught up inside, but you know the way"

𓆝 ♪ ༘⋆

[noah-zero-zero-eight]

my teacher just gave me an extended deadline on our assignment because she noticed i was one of the few that didn't cheat off of other people in the exam. she then said "i relate to you a lot because i'm sure if you had people to talk to in class you would have got it:)" HAHA thanks miss </3. she's kind of like my dad, vaguely. it's funny, because i always thought i'd end up like my mom.

we've been staying at school late, until maybe 8 or 9, to prepare for this dance we have next week. i almost didn't join because i'm not very good at exercise and miss the volleyball or basketball every PE class, but turns out it's fun so far.

i've been singing a lot. not professional or even hobby levels. just singing, when i'm walking or bored or while working. it's great for boredom. i also started another instagram account cos i wanted to be more private, mainly for my future career plans.

i read a new book and found some new music, midterms are two weeks away, things are going well.

࣪ ִֶָ☾.

i will fall - nashville cast

[noah-zero-zero-eight]

not one, not two, not even three, but four journal entries await me!! due in less than 12 hours, with three weeks given to do them all, simply because i did not know they needed to be done. the worst part honestly isn't writing them, but knowing the dates of everything i'm writing down. see, the journal entries are supposed to focus on the discussions and debate topics we have each week, but i slept through forgot the exact order.

9:59 PM

i've figured it out now via my classmates old messages, groupchats, and a selfie i sent the day of our oral exam. someone just messaged me so i'm gonna procrastinate for another 20 min cyaz :P

10:26 PM

have you ever played tower of hanoi?? you have a number of discs stacked from largest to smallest, then you place them 1-by-1 from point A to point C. the catch is that you can't place a bigger disc over a smaller one. tomorrow we're celebrating pi day and i'm proctoring that game :)) sounds fun, i spent some time playing it and i was able to do 5 discs in 30 seconds (is that mid?? i dont care HAHA)

i'm trying to go back to doing things cos they're fun, studying for intrinsic instead of extrinsic motivation. not that everyone has a choice, but when you start doing things for others instead of yourself, it's a slippery slope. that's why you have to save some room for yourself. do things you like to do that you don't show your friends, join math club even if you suck at algebra.

୭ ˚. ᵎᵎˎˊ˗

mythological beauty - big thief

[noah-zero-zero-eight]

[noah-zero-zero-eight]

i got cooked. i don't even know why i got picked because everyone else in my grade were honor students/top students HAHA. it's okay though, i try not to dwell on it for too long, and spelling is actually fun so maybe it can be a new hobby. i even made an account on merriam webster to keep track of my scores on their spelling quizzes.

college applications are officially open !! we have to choose 2 campuses and a couple of undergrad courses each. i wanna pick philosophy as one of my back-up courses. my mom said that if i wanted, i could still make a decent career out of it and i joked that people would hear my philosophical musings and pay me to shut up.

tonight i want to say i learned something. i think the lesson of the day is not to overthink. i kept rewriting the spelling words only for my initial answer to be the correct one.

(also pleaase listen to the song recommendation its by the same guy who wrote "therefore you and me" <3)

.☘︎ ݁˖

sentO - si-o (feat. chis-a)

[noah-zero-zero-eight]

day 3/3 speedrunning my spelling bee elimination round

yesterday would've been day 2 but i forgot to update... i don't know if i'll do well.

i crammed my statistics homework. i feel like i actually did get more done today than i usually do, but it doesn't feel great.

discovered new music i really like. i'll update on how the elimination round went tonight :P

୧ ‧₊˚

texas reznikoff - mitski

[noah-zero-zero-eight]

day 1/3 speedrunning my spelling bee elimination rounds

basically i have to get through the elimination round this wednesday in order to be eligible to compete region-wide. we were told two weeks in advanced, and i didn't practice thoroughly, but all i can do is keep moving forward. if i manage to make it to the official spelling bee, i'd be pretty excited since this is the first time i've done any sort of extracirricular/contest since like sixth grade.

between knowing english, being decent at another language, and learning another, third, language, my spelling and grammer has gotten worse. i keep mixing the words and letters up. i practiced today by writing down words and the (terrifying) spelling rules when i can.

today i think i've gotten a grasp of "ie" and "ei" words. "i" before "e" except after "c". and except for some words. because? yes!

visited the art building at the college campus across the high school. they added a few really nice exhibitions. i liked these landscape paintings from a professor and mentor that graduated from there years back.

tomorrow i'll go to school early so i can practice some more, and review for an exam.

ִ₍^. .^₎⟆ ࣪𖤐.ᐟ

new year's eve (2016) - mal blum and the blums

[noah-zero-zero-eight]

my favorite coworker told me the scenario she thinks of to fall asleep is she stumbles upon a baby sheep and has to raise it and it grows up and she has to shear it and she says she envisions shearing it so carefully that she always falls asleep at that part

[noah-zero-zero-eight]

the joy luck club - amy tan

[noah-zero-zero-eight]

[noah-zero-zero-eight]

i learned today that i am still the things i used to like about myself

｡𖦹˚.

not - big thief

[noah-zero-zero-eight]

"you walk like a bitch" uhm i'm literally 10 years old :c

[noah-zero-zero-eight]

no more unbridled rage cossss i wanna be held :3

but seriously, i get so angry sometimes it's a real problem, but then recently i was told it's okay to be angry and i had to wrap my head around it for a bit. not that it's ever that deep, and not that i'll take those words as a sign to keep lashing out whenever something goes awry, but i keep forgetting that i need to actually feel my feelings before i can soothe them so the reminder was nice.

people can be really gentle sometimes. wiping your charcoal-stained hands for you after having just screamed your heart out, looking at you like you're the only person in the world for that moment, making little hand signals so you know where on your face they're gonna kiss you next, always offering to do things for you, always trying to understand. weird stuff. not to out anyone on a pedastal, but it feels good to be treated good. there's also the fact, or what now feels like a law that they wrote within me, that they deserve really nice things, and i hope to provide that someway somehow. i'm not strong in the same way but i can be warm, i can keep a secret, and with no words it feels like enough for now.

time doesn't "go too fast" when i'm with them. there's no blink-and-it's-gone-and-you-feel-you-won't-have-it-again. for them it's a bit different but i personally don't like the turbulence. it feels more like time stops existing as a whole. the air is cold and 6 PM is just a number and two letters.

✶⋆.˚꩜ .ᐟ

heavy focus - adrianne lenker

[noah-zero-zero-eight]

me and my future spouse travelling the world together frfrfr