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nomadnaedotcom-blog · 7 years ago

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(Ep. 03) Dangerous, but Visually, it Sets the Mood

Unpopular opinions, (1) Nae f@^%ing hates Good Times & the D'wayne/Whitley Story Arc (2) Melissa rrants on Carl Winslow's terrible parenting skills & didn't think All That was...all that *shrug*

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nomadnaedotcom-blog · 8 years ago

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You Negative As Hell, Let's Argue...

I've been sitting here for 5 minutes trying to decide how to start this blog post off. So it's safe to say, that nothing ever materialized and we're just about to steamroll into this. I wanna take the time out to pinpoint a obvious highlight in both your week and mine, we didn't kill ourselves or anyone else. It was touch and go tho for me, there was this old man in front of me in CVS who was paying for like 8 items with a bag full of change out of his pocket. I felt like one of us was going to die before he finally counted up that total. Don't you hate people like that? People that do shit you don't like, people that just exist? Eww, how dare they, right? How dare they just mind their business while we project our negative thoughts out on them. I'm here today to address "subtle negativity" , because honestly you negative as hell; me too tho. Don't believe me? Let's argue. Actually, you should probably stop, you just a baby boy Jody!

I'm exhausted That won't work I hate it I don't feel like it That's ugly I don't have enough time She/He should...

Sounds innocent enough right? Most of the times when we're being negative its "unintentional", it's times where we don't realize we're being negative behind our own backs or in our thought streams and conversations. So I want to make you aware of these patterns in your own life and the patterns in the 5 people you spend the most time with, because that's a direct representation of who you are. These types of thoughts create unnecessary negativity in our emotional lives. When we say these negative things, our brain usually forces one of two ideologies. It fools us into believing what we're saying is true and we're just making an observation, or the thing is negative and we're just stating the obvious; but instead what we're doing is bringing forth negativity. It's fucked up on both ends, but we've somehow convinced ourselves otherwise.

People suck It's too hard I'm too busy I don't like that He gets on my nerves I can't do that This is boring Ok, but...

All I want you to do is just consider what I'm saying. Any time you complain, you're indulging in negativity. So take a personal assessment, how are you operating in the world? How are people operating around you? What do you choose to say out loud? What are you allowing others to say around you. Let me know on Facebook and Instagram what you notice as your week continues. Maybe later I'll share some more insight.

Until next week....

N|N

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nomadnaedotcom-blog · 8 years ago

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Truly Exposed: Mindsets

I spent all winter begging for warmth, but now that it's the tail end of Spring whoever is in the weather control room has fainted from playing too much. During the day I feel like a vampire with severe sun allergies, but right now, the sun has set, and I can still feel steam rising from my shoulders. Either way, I'm perched amidst the ambiance of the courtyard space of my Caucasian apartment and all i see is beauty around me. It feels like a great day to be sitting next to a faux fireplace ready to share with you what I learned from studying the two mindsets that control how we view life and our self-worth; the growth mindset and the fixed mindset.

In a growth mindset, people believe that they are born with basic abilities, but those abilities can be developed through dedication, deliberate practice, and hard work. Where a person is, right now, is just the starting point. This view creates a love of learning along with a resilience that is essential for achievement. People like this understand that no one has ever accomplished great things without years of passionate practice and learning. This is the most healthy practice in dealing with life and what it throws our way.

In a fixed mindset, people believe their basic qualities, like intelligence or talent, are simply fixed traits. Like they were born with a maximum amount of greatness and how they perform is the best they can do. People in a fixed mindset are constantly worried about their traits and how adequately they match up to others; they often believe that talent alone creates success—without effort. Now answer this, which category do you think you fit in?

Go!

For those of you who said “growth”, that’s cute...but it's also incorrect. For those of you who said “fixed” , I’m glad you realize there’s a problem, but you shouldn’t be so hard on yourself. That’s also a wrong answer. For you people who couldn’t come up with an answer fast enough, grab your brother’s & sisters and come on. It was a trick question, our brains function in both modes; but who has the upper hand in your head?

Let's take a real life example that many of us can unfortunately relate to; not landing the job after you killed the interview. So you found a job somewhere hidden in the recesses of Indeed.com with a link to a job so delicious dreamy you have to take a lap around the living room before you can begin the application. You pull together the required documents and revamp your cover letter in Creddle, fill out your job history back to that summer before you started college, hit submit and wait. You start imagining your new life, how you’re gonna spend your new money, and the look on everybody’s faces at your old job when you peace tf out; especially Beverly, because she has worked your damn nerve since DAY ONE. The next afternoon, they call sounding thirsty for a hire and do a quick phone interview, you kill it, they schedule a in person. You wear your "go get em" blue, and it's murder she wrote. Then 4 weeks roll by and you get a crummy 2 sentence email stating that, although you made them laugh and they invited you to lunch afterwards (to which you politely/dumbly reply 'no thank you') and you’re not being offered the position.

If you respond with a fixed mindset; it sucks. Matter of fact, YOU suck in particular. It was probably that resume copy you brought that was wrinkled in the corner, they could tell you needed this little job so you can stop begging for money from your parents. Don’t you get tired of not being good enough? What’s wrong with you? You're never going to change your life, because you're you. And that's not good enough. If left to fester, the narrative gets darker inside your head, a heaviness settles on your chest like an overweight toddler, and your skin starts to get prickly all over for what feels like forever, followed by more destruction. Our thoughts consume us, as people, when we don’t know how to navigate our minds. They have the power to gobble us up in one bite and leave us lost without sign of rescue. The kicker about these situations is, you get over it eventually, or you pretend you do and let the bitterness infect a piece of your personality. Unknowingly doomed to repeat the process over something new.

For those who experience the situation with a growth mindset, it still sucks, it fucking blowsssssssss. This is bullshit! You sold it dammit! You roll your eyes so hard that you get a headache, but then you reply to them a simple “thank you for the opportunity” and remind them to consider you for future opportunities they see fit for your skill-set and close the computer. It’s too bad about the job really, I guess it wasn’t a good fit. Fuck em. That job was pretty dreamy tho, so you cultivate ideas from research and start applying to more positions related to the one you weren’t awarded. The ball starts rolling and you're looking up interview tips for that field, new companies to apply to, blogs and podcasts from insiders. You don't sit down and take stock of it, but moving through this difficult situation with a growth mindset will begin to push you in a more productive direction; giving you a reason to apply this in more areas of your life.

It’s ok to see yourself on either side of this spectrum. It’s cool, if you can see yourself on both sides. Everyone is a mixture of fixed and growth mindsets. Life is complex and we're all little unique snowflakes or whatever. Some people have a predominant growth mindset, but they can still be triggered into a fixed mindset. On the flip side, some people operate with a predominantly fixed mindset; but hold onto a growth mindset on smaller more insignificant things and situations.

So, we all have to look for our fixed-mindset triggers and understand when we are falling into that destructive way of thinking. What’s important here, is recognizing how we are letting our minds process and feed us information. That is the secret of how patterns and habits are created. Stop getting caught in the loop of being shitty to yourself. Is life fixed? Or is there room for growth? Which side do you want to remain on?

To find out more information on the growth vs fixed mindset, check this out, leave a comment, or slide into my DMs... All are appreciated, I promise. I have a glass in the air and I'm toasting to the joy & peace you find amidst the chaos of this week.

Until we meet again, take precious care,

Nae

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nomadnaedotcom-blog · 8 years ago

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Word Vomit

ON-THE-GO JOURNAL PROMPT NO. 02

Word Vomit: Internal Dialogue Freewrite for 8 minutes.

I guess I was waiting on the beat to drop as permission to put pen to pad and let the words erupt out of nowhere. I got distracted by someone hitting the chair next to me.Then my computer was the next . . . [distraction]

Kim Burrell is singing, I love this song & I used to love her until I was unfortunately slapped with the reality that her love & support only extends to when she is receiving our hard earned checks. And check it, meanwhile, apparently her holy alter-ego spends the "sparse" use of her free time shitting on people in the LGBTQ community in those itty bitt kitty Burlington Coat Factory pleather joints that Ms. Geter's crusty ass used to stomp up and down C.C. Spaulding's halls in thinking she was hot shit.

No clue where I was going with that one but I had to change the song. I have that Ms. Geter memory kinda saved for later and that's hilarious in itself. IDK why I'm writing about all this other shit like I need a filler. I'm laughing. I have to write that down or later I will be looking down at this confused af. I'm literally pulling a me on me write now with fake ass talking points to pass the time. This is supposed to be an enlightening exercise, and I know that, which is immediately why my mind went blank as the timer started. Still...fake talking points. 2nd Attend: Today I didn't eat and that has had a really adverse effect on how I moved throughout my day.

***Moved table closer for comfort**** (IDK why I thought this was important!)

Moving on, I want to give myself a break & a high-five for handling the day..well. Although it was stressful and [slightly] overwhelming, I still managed to find what was important and urgent while completing each necessary task. . . [distraction]

Yo, this daydreaming shit is starting to blow the fuck out of me. Sorry to the parents and real adults who decide to read this, by now you should be used to my mouth. Besides, this shit calls for it, I randomly feel like I don't have control over my own brain. Sometimes, when it happens after bad episodes, i get scared that I'm losing my mind. I've experienced losing it in real time, my grandmother had Alzheimer's Disease when I was an early teen and one day my dad left us both unattended. As usual, idk what the hell he was doing, probably somewhere sleep. It couldn't have been for more than 30 minutes, but in whatever time she had more than a handful of breaks in reality. I remember that in her mind, there were phones that were ringing non-stop, conversations going on around her, animals I couldn't see running around the room, figures outside in the yard hiding by our mailbox and bushes, people trapped inside the posters on my wall posters and that's just all the instances I can recall now 3 years shy of 30. Gross, something else I don't want to think about.

what

what was

what the fuck was I talking about?

OK, (I'm guessing I went back and read) when I can't help but give into the impulse of losing myself in a daydream or brain fog I feel like I'm one step closer to being institutionalized and never seen again.

I guess it's not really just the daydreaming, it's everything. The chills, the lack of concentration, horrible sleep pattern, the cycles through shitty moods, etc.; I feel very close to losing control more often than I should and when it gets close to that point I feel like my neurons are on the verge of short circuit.

I'm out of room on the page and the timer is done.

WELL that was every-damn-where.

This was a pitiful attempt to show the world your journal entries don't have to be works of art. The just have to be REAL.

Happy Wednesday my loves.

-Nae

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nomadnaedotcom-blog · 8 years ago

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New Seasons, New Reasons

Life Does Not Wait Until "A Better Time" ...

Do you ever just get tired of existing?

Like really, truly, tired? It's not a trick question either, I just need to see if I can find somebody else on the same side of Struggle Island as me. Its okay though, if you don't fall into this category, you get to come along this journey and hold space for the rest of us; cuz we outchea.

This is for my people who live in their heads and love with heavy hearts. Do you find that more often than not there are "bad" moments/days/periods when your energy gets bogged down by each interaction? Your "problem periods" might not affect you for long stretches of time or happen very often, but we've all been there and we have all bared witness to someone else during their time; at least once. Have you ever heard your mom say she was going to "run away" or "change her name" when you or your siblings would call for her? Then you were there during her moment.

Do you ever find yourself overwhelmed or stuck in a difficult head-space when all the people in your life begin to demand several complex and unrealistic things at once or piss you off by just looking in your general direction? You start getting annoyed at the sound of your own voice? Long, drawn-out days when there are far

too many cars on the road,

opinions you didn't want,

voices calling your name,

bodies invading your space,

responsibilities to handle,

bills to pay,

men being gross and in your general vicinity; and the days have the nerve to stack up one by one by one by one by one by boring ass and infuriating ass one and it seems like you can't make it. Until you do.

I know. I get it. I'm here right now, and this post was supposed to drop on Wednesday. Essentially, this post of for both of us because just like it's my job to bring you little gems to keep you moving from day-to-day, week-to-week, & project-to-project; it's also my full-time position to apply the necessary tools to how I live my own life. Most of y'all have an excuse, because you're coming to me for information you do not know yet; I, on the other hand, am excuse-less because I make it a point to teach myself these lessons before paying it forward.

Either way, NO MORE EXCUSES. The take-away I want to present to you, my lovely reader, is the only thing that remains constant in life is the passing of time. In the general sense, time moves forward no matter what. When people pass on and leave this earth, THEIR time stops; but the rest of us will be at the funeral and then on to work the next day and each day after. The trick is to use our time wisely. Recognize this, life doesn't happen to us, it happens through us; the measure of happiness isn't measured by what gifts the universe offers but by how we handle every problem the universe presents to us and turn them into gifts.

It goes back to being intentional, your brain is bombarded by stimuli at every available second by default; so you have to supply it with good stimuli or your brain will record everything and apply it as negative. We cannot see the future, we can predict hella scenarios, but those hardly go in the manner we thought they would right? Miss Cleo was a fake, God rest her soul. So get tf away from that, life is going to happen regardless but you can still carve out the time to have a moment (or several) of personal freedom. SO DO IT. FIGHT BACK.

Self care is important, having hobbies or interests outside of running your mouth on the phone and swiping left are important, taking time to create and express is important. All these things and more have intrinsic value on your day-to-day life. If you participate in one positive/uplifting activity that you enjoy for 1 hour during a 5 hour time period, you get awarded with the 1 hour spent focused on positive stimuli and and time after that with residual effects of happiness, energy, and peace. On the flip side, if you don't do anything during that 5 hour period but react to all of the "negatives"................all you have is them damn negatives bruh.

I'm trying to explain it in a way that's super easy to understand and apply, but that's it. It's something simple and often times very free, that we can do to better situate ourselves in life but we don't. I don't know why we don't, so I'm giving you permission to live better; I want you to give yourself permission too. Don't let Facebook get you caught up in the cycle of complaining and not getting far in life.

Whoa, this is a surprisingly long post, I guess I'm still hoping to hear a voice shout "Yes, girl!" in the far corner of the office as I type this, but that's unrealistic and frankly if a voice came out of this corner I would probably jump out the window. So in order to make things more palatable for my anxiety, if you feel me....leave a "yes, girl!" in the comments. Until next time....

-N|N

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nomadnaedotcom-blog · 8 years ago

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Message from the Nomad

Hi all,

It's officially April and we have stepped into the spring season. There are no more winter dates on the calendar, so sadly the time has come for you to retire your winter excuses. About 41% of the adult population set goals and resolutions during the new years holiday to be completed during the upcoming year but only about 8% manage to actually pull it off. If you're like me, you wrote out goals for the upcoming year on New Years Day and now realize, as it starts to warm up, that hardly any of the things we set out to achieve have been accomplished. This post is to call both you and me to task, in the most sincere sistah-girl bestfriend way. It's time for me to pull out the mirror and hold us both accountable; we've sat down and waited for the "right" time for long enough, not realizing that whole practice is a strategy that fear has on our lives so we waste valuable time we're unable to get back. What do me, you, Michelle Obama, Oprah, Beyonce`, Cardi B, and the lady at work that gets on your nerves all have in common? We all get 160 hours a week.

We all get 160 hours a week. WE. ALL. GET. 160. ALL.

So what the fuck are you gonna do with yours?

Nae

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nomadnaedotcom-blog · 8 years ago

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Be Intentional

With everything you do, be intentional for our lives are shaped by our environment and our experiences. There is a great quote by author Jerry Colonna that I often read during the start of my day; 'Until we make the unconscious conscious, we will be dictated by it and call it fate.' We are accosted by a million stimuli each day as we travel through our lives, each experience leaving behind residue in our hearts and minds. We as conscious people are constantly filled to the brim with the residue of everyday habits and ordeals. We are involuntarily influenced by everything we hear, which is why it is so important for us to be cognizant as well as emotionally present (they kinda mean the same thing frfr but I didn't wanna lose nobody). When we are cognizant and present we are better equipped to recognize what's good for us and what's bad for us with clear understanding.

I hate watching television, commercials are the bane of my existence but there's one genre of commercial that always sticks out to me; insurance commercials. Between Allstate and Nationwide, there has never been a commercial premier that I didn't enjoy for at least the first day of viewing; the commercials are so funny and seemingly bizarre, it's easy to realize why insurance is so important. I mean just look at the taglines. Life comes at you fast, are you in good hands?

Well, are you?

Life happens to everyone, but how we choose to let it affect us is what becomes our narrative. How we fare against the odds becomes the story we tell ourselves and how we interact with others in the world. If we persevere, we carry the triumph. If we fail, we carry the hurt. We have to be intentional in how we decide to "insure" ourselves and keep our magic protected against the woes of the world (and the woes of everybody damn else tbh), so I will leave you with two major keys to follow:

Be mindful of your interactions and who you decide to align yourself with, we speak life into the atmosphere and negativity is contagious. Never forget that acid isn't only used to harm others, acid destroys the vessel that carries it.

Fill your soul with positive content so that your energy will be able to sustain negative impacts. If you stay ready, you don't have to get ready.

There is no one-size-fits-all scenario I can offer you on how to improve your life. But for those interested in digging deeper, living richer, and vibrating higher I'm listing below some of the content I've been filling my time with over the past two days so you can get a good feel of what I mean. PS, I'm only including everything I've been listening to in the Podcasts App so none of you n*ggas can use that as an excuse as to why you can't elevate your life. If you don't click on at least one link, it's because you want to stay the same. Which is a pity, but your choice nonetheless.

Positive Content

The Sean Croxton Sessions

The Get Well Podcast

Tiny Desk Concert

The Friend Zone

The Emotionally Sensitive Person

The Ziglar Show

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nomadnaedotcom-blog · 8 years ago

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I Ain't Sh*t

I Ain't Shit...

I almost didn’t post today. I’m actually still trying to come up with my excuse as to why I have no content as I type this. So today children, I will be turning the fact that I’m without a post into a post. Why? Because I’m magical af and I can do shit like that. You ain’t heard?

Last night, I sat quietly among the universe, in the normal fashion I chose to create; moments after meditation and hitting the jay a few good times. With the pad across my lap, I scribbled out in my notebook some points and ideas to make followed by what takeaway lessons my words could offer. Its sounds like a solid plan, but deep inside I knew it was a shot in the dark; it was just a bunch of words on the page with no direct connections. I was convinced that with my personal notes and another change in setting, something useful would manifest and I’d have a cute semi-cookie cutter post to share with the world. But nah…

To be quite honest, in my notes the post started off the same way; me talking about how I’ve been waiting for inspiration to strike me since about last Tuesday, and as of this moment Sis Inspiration hasn’t slapped a hoe yet. Yet here I am at work now, typing away at my desk and ironically without the notebook because I left it at home. This, my dear readers, was the perfect opportunity to give up and shirk off my responsibilities. I know this because I do it often. Just give tf up. All the time. There’s a voice in my head that’s always ready to say “well girl, I guess that’s it. Time to hang it up;” and for some odd reason I usually just sink down in my chair, let a tear fall to the side and agree. It’s all a game of the mind, a routine I cycle through with every project and usually no matter how hard I try to fight that voice; I give in. But I’m off that for 2017, I’m tired of letting my dreams down and eclipsing my potential with lack of commitment and motivation. Even though I don’t believe I have anything important to say this week, I’m still writing and sharing.

I try to fill my day with as much positive and thought provoking content as possible, whether it be cool journal articles about the power of mindfulness or uplifting podcasts that make me cackle but also want to upgrade my life. More recently I’ve tapped into the Les Brown collection on Audible and I feel it has honestly changed the trajectory of my life. If I hadn’t been listening to him so consistently over the past few weeks you probably wouldn’t even see this post or, quite honestly, last weeks. My site would be quiet and I’d be somewhere curled up looking out the window disappointed in myself because I’ve fallen victim of the myth that I don’t have what it takes to be successful.

Alas, today is a new day, a day to keep pushing through. Les says that everything he speaks on we already know within ourselves to be true, he’s just trying to bring it to the front of the line so we can see it. You know that quote about not believing things you already know until somebody else points it out to you. This is one of those things. We have to fight for the things we want in life at a constant and consistent rate. I can do it, whatever “it” is; and shit, if my ass can do it, so can you. This is probably full of typos but y'all don't care because you love me and at the moment I'm not too pressed because I'm completing what I set out to do. What's important is that I'm fighting for what I want. That should be important to you too.

"Life is a fight for territory, once you stop fighting for what you want, what you don't want will automatically take over." -Les Brown

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nomadnaedotcom-blog · 8 years ago

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