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Dumb stupid dog that licks he feet at 3am >:(((

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THANK YOU HOT OLD MEN!!!

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"but the text never explicitly stated it!!!" hey, so that's actually what they tried to teach you in those english classes you barely passed 😁

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Accidentally wrote Elrond as if he was a corporate middle manager. it isn't wrong but like how did it happen?

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mpreg

since no one seems to be happy with lgbt, mogai, or any other acronym or umbrella term, i came up with a new one that i think is gonna cover all our bases:

mpreg = marginalized people of romantic, erotic and gender

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WHY COULDN'T IT HAVE BEEN HOBBY LOBBY

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drink my concoction boy

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Many of you I fear

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On Friendship.

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hey girl are you my slerp schedule because i am fucking you up

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Everyone needs to read this fic! Its so damn good!!!

A Vintage Bouquet Masterlist

Masterlist Here

One Piece Masterlist

Word Count: 5k+

Dracule Mihawk x Reader

Rating: 16+

Themes: Slowburn, slow burn, long fic, long distance relationship turned found friends to love, strangers to lovers, hurt, gendered terms used, swearing, adult language. Mihawk x f!reader, platonic!Shanks x f!reader.

Notes:

Read on Ao3

Chapter 1

Mihawk stops on his journey home to an island famous for its women, and more importantly to him, its wine. The legacy of your mother's good name can be tasted in every bottle of wine you create. You aren't going to let the monastery take that and sell that- and you- without vengeance. You unknowingly bribe the man into helping, unaware of his reputation.

Chapter 2

Mihawk spares your life not out of mercy but due to bureaucratic sabotage, good wine, and vague convenience. Out of spite, he places you in his cursed, crumbling castle upon the island of Kuraigana. You are given a cold servants' room, no promises, and one sarcastic note.

Chapter 3

After Mihawk leaves without warning—his only parting words a backhanded note to the mandrills not to eat you—you’re left to survive alone in a haunted, crumbling castle with nothing but vinegar, rotting furniture, and a deeply bruised sense of pride. So you begin rebuilding your life out of sheer spite.

Chapter 4

Rot, Vine, and Vengeance — the story of what happens when you're abandoned in a haunted castle and decide, out of sheer spite, to become the most terrifying vintner the Grand Line has ever seen. There’s soil. There’s screaming. There’s a very aggressive carrot-based alliance with jungle cryptids.

Chapter 5

It all begins with a mandrill trying to warn you, and you, armed with a ladle and blind optimism, misreading the situation entirely. Enter: Shanks. Loud. Red-haired. Uninvited.

Chapter 6

Mihawk returns to Kuraigana Island expecting chaos, but finds it’s been transformed into a bizarre, domestic paradise run by you. After a series of increasingly ridiculous interactions, Mihawk comes to the shocking realization that he's no longer the apex predator on the island—he’s just another resident in a bizarre household.

Chapter 7

Mihawk keeps showing up just in time for dinner, rearranging your vineyard, critiquing your compost like it insulted his honor, and absolutely not catching feelings. That would be ridiculous. You respond with passive-aggressive seasoning, weaponized bread, and a mandrill-led resistance movement. Somewhere between pruning shears, sword training, and suspiciously domestic silence, things get… complicated. And then misunderstandings abound.

Chapter 8

A quiet morning unravels into something neither of you were prepared to name. Tea is poured, gloves are exchanged, and the vineyard bears witness to a truth that has been growing for a very long time.

Chapter 9

Between stubborn silences, ruined bedrooms, and unsolicited mandrill sabotage, something begins to shift. What starts with a library ends with a quiet truth: love, like wine, is best when it's slow, intentional, and a little bit ridiculous.

Chapter 10

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YUP FRINED THIS IS TOTALLY THE ONLY FIC OF ITS KIND IN MY BOOKMARKS!! (I am lying so bad)

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Write it shitty, write it scared, write it without a clue but don't you be so spineless and have an AI write fanfic for you.

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You're on Tumblr a lot

This is my house

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as we march towards a shining era of more people calling their friends "babe" and "sweetheart" platonically, let us also strive towards a brighter tomorrow wherein more couples call each other "bruh" and "my dude" as a term of romantic endearment

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hozier (2014) being hozier’s debut album is fucking nuts like… take me to church?? from eden?? work song?? like real people do?? it will come back?? foreigner’s god?? cherry wine?? SEDATED?? what the fuck??