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—— my head is bloody, but unbowed. william ernest henley, invictus.

original character for amazon primes' the boys. heavily triggering content ahead, proceed with caution. developed by gold. she/her. 24.

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okay ya goobers.   the new blog is under the same url and can be found here.    its not 100% set up,   you’ve been warned.

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okay ya goobers.   the new blog is under the same url and can be found here.    its not 100% set up,   you’ve been warned.

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okay ya goobers.   the new blog is under the same url and can be found here.    its not 100% set up,   you’ve been warned.

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just a heads up that i’ll be moving this blog to a clean one for sanity and comfort sake.   something about this one just isn’t the vibe i resonate with anymore.   i’ll be changing tags,   aesthetics,   and likely psds if i can make up my mind on that piece.      i’ll be moving what i want to keep over there once it’s all properly set up n whatnot (this may include the newest inbox things),   and the rest will be dropped (sorry in advance).

i’ll keep you posted when the blog is done.

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“   i need you to trust me.   ”           there is that word again.     trust.     sentiment that barely exists in him these days out of extreme caution and,      frankly,      a sense of paranoia that has kept him alive for years.      trust that he’s not often willing to give just anyone.      he knows to keep to himself,      reserve for only those he knows wouldn’t dare to drive a knife between his vertebra when he had his back turned.      but @firedblanks​ isn’t just anyone.      she’s colby.

she knows the ins and outs of him regardless of how much he thinks he’s hidden away in a dark far away corner out of some sense of precaution.     for himself or her is yet to be known,      even after all this time.      he’d like to believe it was a sense of duty that kept parts of his life in the dark even now.      to believe that it came from his sense of duty to her,      to protect or spare her from the watchful eyes in his life,      the awful brutality and insanity of his job,      but truth is   --   some small part of him will always be reserved.      not because he doesn’t trust her,     he does,     more than anyone and with his life,       but because its been burned into him that he can never trust anyone.     words of a old teacher come to mind:   trust makes you vulnerable,     vulnerability makes you weak,      and being weak gets you killed.

but she is colby.

the same colby who holds his face in her hands when the world has become too heavy for his shoulders.      the same colby who looks at him with compassion even when he feels like he deserves very little.     colby who still sees the man in him,      not the monster or the machine they have created.      he knows that she trusts him.     surely the least he could do is the same.      right?       right?

“   i do.   ”          said with conviction.      definitively.      there’s not another soul in this world that he trusts like her.      her above all else.          “   i trust you.   ”

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ANYWAY,,   JOHN WICK 4 INSPIRED ME so i’m definitely gonna try to write before i get too tired and have to go to sleeps.

gonna see the new john wick movie and maybe MAYBE i will write later tonight

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gonna see the new john wick movie and maybe MAYBE i will write later tonight

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kenobi vc:  hello there

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“   are you wearing my shirt?   ”          fuck yeah he is,      and he refuses to be even a little bit embarrassed about it too.     it was going to be a joke at first,      a play to get his reaction,      a laugh or even a quirked eyebrow with that charming smile he gets.      but it quickly,      and rather surprisingly,      backfired when the damn thing was actually soft and comfortable that it didn’t matter that @antisupes face was plastered across his chest with some stupid one-liner at the bottom that he doesn’t even remember.

and he’s a proud owner of said shirt.      there’s no denying that.

“   mhmm.   ”          he hums his response,      biting the inside of his lower lip to keep from grinning too big.          “   i think you suit me,      don’t you?   ”

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vought made shiloh play bodyguard / crisis clean up management cause they knew he’d be too powerful even as a second tier supe and you cannot change my mind 💅

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i think i’ve fully committed to the idea that in or around s4,   shilohs going to have to practically disappear for a while after he’s found out (and i’m thinking he either gets sold out cause someone was intimidated or bought,   or he gets into direct confrontation with a supe and it happens regardless).   but its not going to be an easy escape,   cause it almost never is,   and its likely he’ll get himself hurt in the process and have to take a few weeks just to heal properly.

there’s a good chance that most people will be told   /   think he’s dead after that because of how bad that fight would be.   and he obviously keeps it that way and very few people know the truth.

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Joel Kinnaman + Smoking in Altered Carbon (2018-2020)

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𝑻𝑯𝑬 𝑬𝑵𝑶𝑹𝑴𝑰𝑻𝒀 𝑶𝑭 𝑴𝒀 𝑫𝑬𝑺𝑰𝑹𝑬 .    (   a  series  of  nsfw  prompts ,  separated  by  quotes   &   acts .   ‘ my ’  muse  belongs  to  the  one  who  posted  the  meme .  send   “ + REVERSE ”   to  reverse  the  prompts  )

       →  WORDS .

❛  i’m  sorry ,  you  don’t  enjoy  being  teased ? .  ❜ ❛  you  know  what  i’m  waiting  for .  ❜ ❛  keep  your  hands  where  they  are .  ❜ ❛  i want you to ride  [ me / my fingers ] .  ❜ ❛  you  make  the  prettiest  sounds .  ❜ ❛  say  please .  ❜ ❛  i  want  to  make  this  last .  ❜ ❛  look  at  me .  ❜ ❛  i’m  yours ,  only  yours -  ❜ ❛  yeah ,  just like that -  ❜ ❛  i’ve  barely  even  started .  ❜ ❛  i  need  you .  ❜ ❛  god ,  shut  up  and  fuck  me  already !  ❜ ❛  god ,  yes ,  [ name ] ,  don’t  stop .  ❜ ❛  you  have  no  idea  how  long  i’ve  wanted  to  do  this .  ❜ ❛  who  gets  to  touch  you  like  this ?  ❜ ❛  come  for  me .  ❜ ❛  ah ,  ah -  don’t  touch .  ❜ ❛  brace  your  hands  on  the  wall .  ❜ ❛  could  you  come  like  this ?  ❜ ❛  please ,  let  me  come -  ❜ ❛  god ,  you’re  beautiful -  ❜ ❛  i’ve  been  waiting  for  this  all  night .  ❜ ❛  you’re  such  a  tease .  ❜ ❛  take  these  off .  ❜ ❛  i  want  to  feel  your  [ mouth / fingers ] .  ❜ ❛  do  you  have  any  idea  how  good  you  taste ?  ❜ ❛  tell  me  what  you  want .  ❜ ❛  we  shouldn’t -  ah ,  we shouldn’t be doing this .  ❜ ❛  faster ,  [ name ] ,  i  need  more .  ❜ ❛  is  this  good ?  ❜ ❛  keep  your  eyes  open .  ❜ ❛  i  can’t  wait  to  find  out  what  else  you  can  do .  ❜ ❛  you  don’t  have  to  be  so  gentle .  ❜ ❛  i  want  to  hear  you  beg .  ❜ ❛  can  i  take  this  off ?  ❜ ❛  please ,  please ,  please -  ❜ ❛  you’re  doing  so  well  for  me .  ❜ ❛  please  touch  me .  ❜ ❛  keep  reading ,  i  want  to  see  how  long  you  last .  ❜ ❛  i’ll  buy  you  another  one .  ❜ ❛  say  my  name .  louder .  ❜ ❛  i  can’t  wait  any  longer .  ❜ ❛  you  feel  so  good .  ❜ ❛  you’re  going  to  leave  a  mark -  ❜ ❛  touch  yourself  for  me .  ❜ ❛  do  you  deserve  it ?   ❜ ❛  did  i  say  you  could  come ?  ❜ ❛  i’m  so  close -  ❜ ❛  they’re  going  to  catch  us -  ❜ ❛  i  want  you  right  here .  ❜ ❛  we  have  to  be  quiet .  ❜

         →  ACTIONS .

❛  pin .   to  restrain  my  muse’s  hands  during  intimacy . ❛  mirror .   to  have  sex  with  my  muse  in  front  of  a  mirror . ❛  deny .   to  deny  my  muse  an  orgasm . ❛  distance .   to  have  [ phone / video ]  sex  with  my  muse . ❛  playlist .   to  have  sex  with  my  muse  while  music  is  playing . ❛  paw .   to  fondle  my  muse’s   [ chest  /  ass ] . ❛  wall .   to  pin  my  muse  against  a  wall . ❛  table .   to  hoist  my  muse  onto  a  [ table  /  counter ] . ❛  clothed .   to  make  my  muse  come  while  fully  dressed . ❛  finger .   to  finger  my  muse . ❛  oral .   to  give  my  muse  oral . ❛  fervent .   to  have  sex  with  my  muse  after  a  fight . ❛  distraction .   to  rile  my  muse  up  during  a  film . ❛  mark .   to  leave  marks  on  my  muse  [  optional :  specify where  ] . ❛  tie .   to  use  restraints  on  my  muse  during  intimacy . ❛  throat .   to  choke  my  muse  during  intimacy . ❛  sparring .   for  sparring  to  turn  into  sex . ❛  toys .   to  use  toys  [ vibrator / strap / otherwise ]  on  my  muse . ❛  imagery .   to  send  my  muse  a  risque  photo . ❛  drag .   to  pull  my  muse  closer  by  a  piece  of  clothing . ❛  tear .   to  tear  a  piece  of  clothing  from  my  muse’s  body . ❛  shower .   to  have  sex  with  my  muse  in  the  [ shower / bath ] . ❛  sneaky .   to  sneak  away  from  a  gathering  to  have  sex  with  my  muse . ❛  beg .   to  make  my  muse  beg . ❛  carnal .   to  [ scratch / bite ]  my  muse  during  intimacy . ❛  preoccupied .   to  rile  my  muse  up  as  they  [ read / work ] . ❛  jealous .   to  purposefully  make  my  muse  react  possessively . ❛  dare .   to  have  sex  with  my  muse  based  off  a  dare . ❛  read .   to  re-enact  something  from  a  [ book / show / porn ]  with  my  muse . ❛  collapse .   to  break  a  bed  during  sex  with  my  muse . ❛  caught .   to  get  caught  with  my  muse  during  sex .

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i need soft things  ..  does anyone want soft (platonic or shippy,  you can specify which if you want) things in their inbox?

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thinking about shiloh outside of the boys verse is still kind of sad because he still doesn’t know how to stop or rest.      he doesn’t give himself a break.