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i haven't abandoned nadja just, ya know... life.

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What We Do In The Shadows

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*  ―  VAMPIRIC STARTER PROMPTS .  

* tw for mentions of blood / drinking blood / death + murder .

Human. 

❝ that’s a lot of blood. ❞

❝ so you drink [human] blood ? ❞

❝ how long has it been since you fed ? ❞

❝ bite me. ❞

❝ you just bit me ! ❞

❝  i don’t believe in vampires. ❞

❝ i want to be your familiar. ❞ 

❝ can you turn in to a bat ? ❞

❝ you don’t have a reflection ! ❞

❝ so do you sleep in a coffin ? ❞

❝ you’re gonna need a bigger coffin. ❞

❝ so, how old are you really ? ❞

❝ your skin’s always so cold. ❞

❝ if you need to feed, you can bite me. ❞

❝ you can bite me, i trust you. ❞ 

❝ what does it taste like ? / what do i taste like ? ❞

❝ you’re [not] a monster. ❞

Vampire.

❝ drink this, you’ll feel better. ❞

❝ i’m [not] a monster. ❞

❝ i haven’t fed in awhile. ❞

❝ it’s dangerous for you to be here when i’m like this. ❞

❝ i want you to be my familiar. ❞

❝ forget what you think you know, vampires exist. ❞

❝ no, that’s a myth. ❞

❝ i’m not going to eat you. ❞

❝ you call it a myth, i call it a bad stereotype. ❞

❝ your taste so sweet / bitter / good / bad. ❞

❝ your blood smells so sweet / bitter / good / bad. ❞ 

❝ it’s been awhile since i tasted fresh blood. ❞

❝ you’re so warm. / i forgot how warm living is. ❞

❝ you have to invite me in. ❞

❝ i think i just killed someone. ❞

❝ honestly ? i’m terrified i’m going to have to spend eternity alone. ❞

Actions.   ( add a + to reverse the action ! )

[ BITE. ]  the sender bites receiver on the ( neck / wrist / thigh / bodypart ) to drink their blood.

[ TURN. ]  the sender turns the receiver into a vampire.

[ BLOODLUST ]  the sender has gone too long without feeding, base instincts taking over, the receiver finds them. 

[ COFFIN. ]  the sender stumbles upon the receiver sleeping in a coffin. 

[ STAKE. ]  after finding out the receiver is a vampire, the sender tries to stake them. 

[ MIRROR. ]  when passing a mirror, the receiver notices the sender does not have a reflection. 

[ OFFER. ]  after noticing the receiver hasn’t fed in a few days / weeks, the sender offers to let the receiver feed from them.

[ MESS. ]  the sender finds the receiver covered in blood that certainly isn’t their own.

[ LICK. ]  the sender licks blood from the receiver’s wound / finger.

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nadja encouraging laszlo to go bang the baron after she did is *chef kiss* perfect couples do exist

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❛  i  go  for  a  look  which  i  call ,   “ dead  but  delicious . ”  ❜ / @sanguiisuge

her laugh is low. throaty. something akin to a purr, one might say. the tips of her blood red fingernails scratch at his bearded jaw before nadja tilts his chin up to inspect him carefully from beneath her lowered lashes. she likes what she sees, of course. she always has.

❛  oh laszlo, my darling. my savory little cabbage roll. i could suck the blood from a thousand kings until there was nothing left but an empty bag of bones, and those pathetic meat sacks wouldn't be half as delicious as you are. ❜

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❛  that’s  a  very  offensive  word  to  call  people .  ❜ / @therelentless

❛ oh boo hoo! the mean lady called me a terrible name and now i must go home and cry to mama! ❜

the moment of mocking finished, nadja flicked her long, manicured fingernails in nandor's face and sneered with disdain. she had no time for him or his hurt feelings.

❛ i need laszlo here right now, not you, so it is your turn to look after the baby colin robinson and make sure he is rehearsing and ready for tonight. or get your bodyguard and make him do it, i really don't care. now... shoo! get out of my sight! ❜

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𝐖𝐇𝐀𝐓  𝐖𝐄  𝐃𝐎  𝐈𝐍  𝐓𝐇𝐄  𝐒𝐇𝐀𝐃𝐎𝐖𝐒  𝐒𝐄𝐍𝐓𝐄𝐍𝐂𝐄  𝐒𝐓𝐀𝐑𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐒     —     a collection of one - liners taken from the 2014 film, what we do in the shadows.   slightly edited for clarity.   change pronouns as necessary.

❛  it’s  6 PM  in  the  nighttime ,   which  is  when  i  wake  up .  ❜ ❛  i  like  the  company .  ❜ ❛  i  just  really  like  having  a  good  time  with  my  friends .  ❜ ❛  you  don’t  have  to  come ,   but  i  thought  i’d  extend  an  invitation  to  you  just  in  case .  ❜ ❛  well ,   i’m  glad  to  hear  that  i’m  cool .  ❜ ❛  i’m  embarrassed  when  people  come  over  here .  ❜ ❛  and  we’re  still  friends  today .  ❜ ❛  vampires  have  had  a  pretty  bad  rap .  ❜ ❛  i  was  smitten .  ❜ ❛  i  thought ,   “ you  know  what ?     to  hell  with  it .     i���m  going  to  go . ”  ❜ ❛  that’s  about  as  long  as  i  can  wear  that .  ❜ ❛  when  you’re  a  vampire ,   you  become  very  sexy .  ❜ ❛  i  go  for  a  look  which  i  call ,   “ dead  but  delicious . ”  ❜ ❛  i’ve  been  a  very  thirsty  girl .  ❜ ❛  what  are  you  doing  tonight ?  ❜ ❛  he  tells  me  what  to  do ,   i  do  it .   ❜ ❛  oh ,   it’s  a  little  bit  of  blood .   ❜ ❛  i  was  just  wondering  if  we  could  talk  about  the   …   the  deal .  ❜ ❛  i  just  feel  like  i’m  the  best  version  of  myself  that  i  can  be .  ❜ ❛  i  like  to  make  a  real  evening  of  it .  ❜ ❛  well ,   that  didn’t  go  so  great .  ❜ ❛  it’s  a  real  mess  in  there .  ❜ ❛  you  were  the  one  that  started  calling  me  that ,   and  then  it  kind  of  caught  on .  ❜ ❛  [ name ] ,   are  you  a  virgin  at  all ?   ❜ ❛  if  you’re  going  to  eat  a  sandwich ,   you’d  just  enjoy  it  more  if  you  knew  no  one  had  fucked  it .  ❜ ❛  how  does  it  feel  to  have  a  snake  for  a  penis ?  ❜ ❛  my  penis  has  disappeared .  ❜ ❛  no  one’s  gonna  mistake  your  penis  for  a  cobra ,   [ name ] ,   okay ?  ❜ ❛  who  let   [ name ]   out ?  ❜ ❛  i  think  everyone  has  always  wanted  to  fly .  ❜ ❛  why  don’t  you  use  the  front  door ?   ❜ ❛  you’ve  got  a  whole  documentary  crew  following  you  around  .  ❜ ❛  i’m  doing  an  erotic  dance  for  my  friends ,   and  you  ruined  it .  ❜ ❛  i  don’t  know  if  i’m  accepted  yet .     but   …   i  don’t  know ,   i  think  it’s  getting  there .  ❜ ❛  it  would  be  cool  to  just  hang  out  with  them .  ❜ ❛  they  can  teach  me  some  stuff .  ❜ ❛  the  way  i  see  it ,   i’ve  got  a  whole  new  family .  ❜ ❛  he  just  thinks  that  i’ve  just  met  some  colorful  friends .  ❜ ❛  i  can  smell  werewolves .  ❜ ❛  i  heard  that ,   mate .     i’ve  got  sensitive  hearing .  ❜ ❛  you’re  on  camera ,   mate .  ❜ ❛  we’re  werewolves ,   not  swear - wolves .  ❜ ❛  that’s  a  very  offensive  word  to  call  people .  ❜ ❛  why  are  you  swearing  all  the  time ?  ❜ ❛  what  do  you  do  when  someone  tells  you  that  they’re  a  vampire ?  ❜ ❛  he’s  definitely  my  best  mate .  ❜ ❛  i’m  not  gonna  eat  him .  ❜ ❛  i’ll  never  eat  him  ‘cause  he’s  my  mate .   ❜ ❛  at  first  i  wanted  to  kill  him .     but  now  i’m  glad  i  spent  the  time  to  get  to  know  him .  ❜ ❛  he’s  a   …   vegetarian .  ❜ ❛  there  is  a  crucifix  behind  you .  ❜ ❛  with  humans ,   there’s  a  tendency  to  die .  ❜ ❛  i’m  the  main  guy  in  “ twilight ” .  ❜ ❛  how  many  people  have  you  told  you’re  a  vampire ?  ❜ ❛  i’m  a  vampire  hunter ,   man .   ❜ ❛  i’ll  tell  the  whole  world  that  you’re  an  asshole .  ❜ ❛  i  don’t  care  about  your  stupid  jacket .  ❜ ❛  i’ll  say  it .     i’m  over  being  a  vampire .  ❜ ❛  i’ll  say  it .     i’m  over  being  a  vampire .     it’s  shit .     don’t  believe  the  hype .  ❜ ❛  i  just  stepped  back ,   and  let  her  live  her  life .   ❜ ❛  get  out  of  the  sunlight !  ❜ ❛  i  will  tear  out  your  tongue  and  shove  it  down  your  ass !  ❜ ❛  i  really  hope  that  those  guys  don’t  kill  those  police  because  it  will  mean  more  police  will  come .   ❜ ❛  well ,   his  soul  is  in  hell .  ❜ ❛  just  have  a  bit  of  dialogue  about  it .  ❜ ❛  i'd  like  you  to  find  your  own  original  style .  ❜ ❛  i  hope  you  never  see  the  beast .  ❜ ❛  just  leave  me  to  do  my  dark  bidding  on  the  internet !  ❜ ❛  we  were  very  sexually  explosive .  ❜ ❛  nice  to  meet  you ,   asshole .  ❜ ❛  fuck  off  to  a  tree .  ❜ ❛  get  that  camera  out  of  my  face !  ❜ ❛  you  have  to  watch  everyone  die .   ❜ ❛  if  i  know   [ name ] ,   this  was  probably  the  way  he  wanted  to  go   …  ❜ ❛  if  i  know   [ name ] ,   this  was  probably  the  way  he  wanted  to  go   …   disembowled  by  werewolves .  ❜ ❛  i  hope  i  made  you  feel  better .  ❜ ❛  i’m  the  alpha  male ,   so  i  made  the  call .  ❜ ❛  what  are  you  laughing  at  now ,   though ?  ❜ ❛  laugh  with  the  group .  ❜

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What We Do in the Shadows 4.01

We are opening a vampire nightclub.

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We would have nun-free zones with signs that say: No Nuns, No Nuns, None.

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What We Do in the Shadows | 4.05 – “Private School“