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33
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4
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0
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6 days
Number of Posts By Type
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16
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If you're in charge of your own destiny then it's not destiny.
Norm Macdonald
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My father was brutally murdered last week. It's only now that I can look back and laugh.
Norm Macdonald
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"I.D." is a strange abbreviation. "I" is short for "I", and "D" is short for "Dentification."
Norm Macdonald
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Three things are certain in life. Death, taxes, and getting caught whacking off in a Target dressing room.
Norm Macdonald
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They say pimpin' ain't easy, but what they won't tell you is that it's much, much more difficult being a prostitute.
Norm Macdonald
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When I die, I want my body donated to science. But more specifically, a scientist who is working on bringing dead guys back to life.
Norm Macdonald
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The first principle of solid wisdom is discretion, without it all the erudition of life is merely bagatelle.
Norm Macdonald
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We often suffer more from our fears than from the dangers of our situation.
Norm Macdonald
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I don't know the difference between a hippie and a hipster but it's fun to watch either one of them get beat up.
Norm Macdonald
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I wouldn't call myself a fan of Steampunk. But I will say, it's the healthiest way to prepare punk.
Norm Macdonald
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There is one country that worries me, though. Not Iraq, not Iran, not North Korea, the one country that worries me is the country of Germany. I don't know if you guys are history buffs, but in the earlier part of the previous century, Germany decided to go to war. And who did they decide to go to war with? The world. You'd think it would take about five seconds for the world to win. But it was actually close.
Norm Macdonald
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Post the transphobia post
"I won’t do those jokes anymore. Which is fine, because the reason I didn’t do the joke on the special is because I came to an understanding that other people came to much sooner than I did. Which is what? Which is that a lot of people are idiots. You don’t want to have a joke be misunderstood and then someone goes and beats up a trans person."
Norm Macdonald on jokes referencing transphobia
Surely this is the quote you were referring to, right? You didn't see a screenshot of a joke Norm made on SNL in-character in 1993 being circulated in a popular tumblr post and go on to assume he was a transphobic piece of shit without making even a token effort to follow up on it, right?
Right?
#tbf there IS a discussion to be had about norm's politics and his comedy and how they were and were not reflective of one another#given that he was known in his personal life to be a highly educated liberal democrat with a passion for literature and philosophy#but performed his standup in-character and showed no such inclinations#though I'd still say his comedy could trend towards political and social issues in certain instances#and of course a lot of it was DEEPLY offensive and took things too far#often as a way of exposing the logical fallacies and hypocrisy of a bigoted mindset#though of course that doesn't mean you can't still be offended by it or think it was insensitive#anyways it's all a moot point because later on norm decided to remove all references to transphobia from his act#in a way I think softening his humor made it less incisive and prevented him from highlighting bigotry#but also protected people from those who would take it at face value and feel emboldened by it#ask#anon#norm macdonald
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Reason is always weak where prejudice is strong.
Norm Macdonald
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Even though I believe Jesus is the only way to heaven, I don't tell other people because, personally, I don't give a fuck if they get to heaven. My idea of heaven is being up in a cloud with a harp and watching all my friends get raped by the devil.
Norm Macdonald
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Envy, like a false mirror, distorts the symmetry of the sweetest form.
Norm Macdonald
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There is a very prevalent tenet with youth, that good company is everything desirable, and that bad is better than none.
Norm Macdonald
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I started on Saturday Night Live the same time Conan started on Late Night. We just had a relationship because I would be upstairs in the studio and whenever he couldn’t get a guest – which was often back then since he was just starting out – he would just call me down to be a guest.
Norm Macdonald
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