nostaumo

[nostaumo]

Every day, I just wish I could disappear from that place. I move to another, with the feeling of trying to rebuild my life, but my hope only breaks further. In the end, I act as if nothing happened, repeating this cycle countless times, as if it were normal, while everyone judges me. The problem really lies with me; I realize that no one is trustworthy anywhere, and I just long for a place where I can find something genuine and without malice.

[nostaumo]

For those who stumbled here by chance, my profile may seem confusing, and I would be grateful if you take some time for me to explain! This profile is nothing special, just where I express myself through my writing and interact with others without the fear of having an identity. I want to leave a record of who I truly am in some way, because deep down, it's the only thing I have. Feel free to browse, exchange ideas, or just observe.ﾠﾠﾠﾠﾠﾠ:)

[nostaumo]

One more thing I’ve never told anyone.

But something I admire and try to live by..

an anemoia that consumes me, a feeling for Roblox in its famous classic era.

I wasn’t part of that era, I’m not one of those people who started playing Roblox in 2006, 2010, or 2014... Yet, I still miss that time as if I left something behind. I can't explain it, somehow I feel like I’ve already lived it.

Maybe it’s because the internet came early to me, maybe I played without having a concrete memory of it. My definitive encounter with Roblox happened in 2018, when a childhood friend recommended the game to me. I was a child with a lot of problems, and soon that became a refuge. Work at a Pizza Place, Epic Minigames, Zombie Attack, and a few other games accompanied me. I remember the comfort of playing, even though I was almost always alone... Though this was my real experience, my strong nostalgia for it doesn’t come from there.

Of course, I feel nostalgic for that, but what I feel more intensely is a version of that feeling for something I didn’t live.

I watch old videos, read posts from years ago, or explore forgotten forums about Roblox, and in doing so, it feels like I’m following in the footsteps of someone who loved this world before me. It’s as if I’m reliving fragments of a memory that isn’t mine, but somehow, I recognize it.

Sometimes, I wonder if I could have been one of those people in another life, if this familiarity I feel with all of this comes from somewhere I can't discover. But deep down, I know I wasn’t. That doesn’t make the feeling any less real, nor does it mean I can’t appreciate it in my own way. In fact, I’m happy for those who lived through it.

Still, I explore old games that are still up, dive into recreations made by other players, observe every detail as if I could connect with something... Maybe it’s just my habit of wanting to see meaning in things. Maybe I just like the idea that something can still matter after so much time.

But in the end, it’s just a feeling. Something that has no answer, no right reason to exist. And it’s okay to feel that way. I end up thinking... Have you ever caught yourself feeling a memory that isn’t yours?

[nostaumo]

=× Peter's love knows no bounds ×=

Sorry I haven't been here for a long time. Work, tiredness... but I'm back with a new gif for you :}

<33

×=×=×=×=×

Write your ideas for a gif in the comments. I'd love to see your suggestions ^^

[nostaumo]

💟Pink Valentine💟

[nostaumo]

fear garden

[nostaumo]

hiiii

[nostaumo]

I don't believe it's already May 🙄 This is super belated Valentine's Day art!

[nostaumo]

HAPPY BIRTHDAY YB 🥳🥳🥳🥳 AND HAPPY YEAR OF THE SNAKE 🐍 I gave them a snake cake!

[nostaumo]

“I roll out the red carpet for you…”

[nostaumo]

He decorated the table, the bed, and himself.

[nostaumo]

この世界に二人だけ

Just the two of us in this world