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sometimes i forget nbc hannibal is like. a show that normal people watch. and not just the strange gay people in my phone who post about hannigram fucking nasty. like my friends mom watched the fucking show. thats terrifying

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king schultz is such an interesting character hmmmmm. he starts off believing himself to be a principled man who "despises slavery," as he tells django, but really he's not at all above using it to his advantage by keeping django enslaved for a bit, he's patronizing, and he's ultimately naive (in the opening scene he gives a very startled look when he sees django's back).

he enjoys being django's benefactor and teacher because rescuing this uneducated "kid" makes him feel good about himself, but even with that undercurrent of selfishness and self-importance he's still fairly well-meaning.

his attitude first shifts when he hears about broomhilda and sees django's determination to save her.

he goes "wait wait wait, let me get this straight: your slave wife speaks german and her name is broomhilda von schaft??" like up until that point the idea that someone sharing his language and culture could ever be enslaved was totally alien to him. it just doesn't compute, girls with german names aren't owned, and germans don't own people and name them. those realities shatter the neat dividing lines that allowed him to see slavery as disgusting without losing sleep over it so far. he gets another one of those realizations when he (still a bit paternalistically) tells django the story of sigfried rescuing broomhilda.

when told how sigfried scaled the mountain, slew the dragon and walked through hellfire "because broomhilda is worth it," django goes "i know how he feels," and schultz says softly "i think i'm just starting to realize that."

up to that point he - unconsciously - didn't see django as possessing the same internality as a free man. but here django is showing that not only does he have the same passions and emotions as any other man, he also has the same motivations, the same identity as the great german legend sigfried.

treating django as an equal made king believe he saw django as an equal, and in that moment he realizes he hadn't up to that point. this "kid" is a fellow person.

he still slips up into paternalism/mentoring django because of how he feels and not fully because of django himself quite often, but he's at least making progress

but where it gets ever more interesting is in how the dynamic reverses once they get into django's world. where before king was the one teaching django about killing bad guys, urging django to be more ruthless and even mocking him for being too soft, now django's the jaded one teaching this soft-hearted, not-cut-out-for-this-world white man about the reality of evil. it's not "killing people and selling their corpses for cash," it's slavery, and it's worse.

and now that king is starting to see slaves as people and not "poor devils", he just can't cope. I really disagree with the take that king shooting candie was a selfish white savior act done to satisfy his own ego, i think it was more of a trauma response.

king tried to play it too smart with the elaborate mandingo fights charade when buying broomhilda as a "comfort girl" through a proxy would probably have worked better because he's playing it like one of his bounty hunting cons, because he doesn't actually know the world of slavery. the hefty reality check of being roundly outsmarted, his first taste of real helplessness in the face of danger and injustice, plus what he sees in candyland, especially d'artagnan getting mauled by the dogs (yet another european-named person) and broomhilda's back, opens his eyes to a vast darkness he just can't deal with and in the end he snaps.

because ultimately he was the uneducated, impulsive, too gentle nature, not the "kid."

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“We have to pacify him. Do you understand?”

“And I think I can say now that he has quieted down.”

“You will take your pills or I’ll them all shoved into you.”

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christoph waltz in kopfstand (1981)

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logged into tumblr for the first time in months just for american psycho yaoi

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i’m so Landstrom pilled rn… Inglourious Basterds yaoi save me

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cooking up a landstrom fic at midnight #peak

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weirdo

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just finished inglourious basterds. did anyone else see the chemistry between Hans Landa and Hermann orrrrr

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i am so glad that its not just me who went "hans landa has some homofag shit going on"

because see you all know im constantly on that yaoi cocaine so i thought it was just me being average anime fan again but HANS LANDA FROM INGLORIOUS BASTERDS IS A HOMOSEXUAL! what tipped me off personally is the fact that the entire movie hes incredibly confident and suave and never stumbles in his speech. his actor is purposeful with what he does and the only time he stumbles is when hes doing his monologue to rainer to propose a deal and says the name "hermann". I hadnt heard his voice falter or stumble in the slightest for the entire movie it really stuck out to me. And whats more is when hermann is shot that is the only time in the entire movie that Landa expresses any degree of genuine shock and weakness. Now this can be written off as him realizing that Rainer is not making good on their deal, but the thing is that he says "I made a deal with you gentlemen for that mans life". It's a very strange thing to say, since I think that Landas selfishness and ability to turn a blind eye to others suffering by accepting things because theyre not happening to him it is a key component to his character. Landa is not the type of man who would say that he made a deal for another's life in this situation. if he was only shocked about the deal being broken, he would just say that theyre breaking the deal, but not say a line that suggests that he thinks that the deal was more for hermanns life than his own. A thing that my bro (LMV) pointed out also is that in the beginning Landa says that he knows what people can do once they abandon their dignity. This is of course meant to be taken by the farmer as him being very knowledgable with the places that Jewish people could be hiding, but in the context of him being gay this gets a greater meaning since it creates a double meaning where he also is admitting that he understands because hes a "rat" himself. Landas character is a whole 'nother enchilada, but to boil it down he is an incredibly selfish man. He's not a monster with no critical thought and only vile hatred towards Jews fueling his engines; hes a human and a monster by choice. I think that theres a common misconception that showing the humanity in a horrible person = symapthy for that person because to me I think it only makes them more terrible in my eyes. Landa is a human just like us and couldve done the right thing, but he still chose the wrong thing to do. He could've pulled a hugo and done all he could to kill the nazis around him or sacrifice his life to not be apart of the evil regime or literally anything except what he chose to do, which was undoubtedly the worst option possible; become fucking colonel nazi. when i watch a supernatural horror movie I often cant bring myself to fully hate the demon because it feels like hating a tornado. Yeah i hate it destroyed my house and im scared of it but i cant really hate it since what did I expect its a tornade it was born to do that lol it cant really do anything else. but Landa doesn't get this pass and recieves my full unadulterated hatred. He isnt a monster with no critical thought who was born with no other drive than to kill and slaughter, he's a man just like all of us who actively choses evil because he's selfish and vile. Yes, he has motives. yes, it wouldve been much harder to do the right thing. but at the end of the day he still chose the wrong thing to do. and to me that makes him so so much more incredibly sickening because he couldve done good, but he simply continues to choose evil everyday because thats easier and more advantageous to himself than doing whats right. And in essence it would be incredibly in character of him to be a "rat" who acts as a "hawk" because he was born in a hawks nest, might as well play the part and stay within it. He is mentioned as a womanizer a few times, but I personally believe that Landa would create this rumor himself to put away any and all suspicion of him being gay, since I think thats the natural first thing someone would do if they were gay and trying to hide it.

He's a master of manipulation and words, so of course he's going to be able to keep the rumor solid with no leaks.

I just think that Landa definately was homofag for Hermann and personally like the movie a lot more with that in mind. Because not only does it add more meaning to his words and give you even more insight into his motivations and ideas and character (especially with the thought that he knows how it feels to be hunted. so instead of helping those who are being hunted he becomes a hunter himself) but also it makes the ending so much more satisfying. because personally I agree with literally everything Rainer says like I dont care i think all nazis should die and be tortured with no mercy they chose this fate when they chose to be a nazi. They have motivations for why, but we all have motivations for why we do the things we do. the right thing is almost always harder to do than the wrong thing and the matter of fact is that they chose to be a nazi instead of anything else in the world so they deserve no mercy. ngl im so glad rainer carved the swatstika on Landas head because I was going to throw a fit if Landa deadass just got off scott free. And i think it's actually a fitting substitute punishment to death too since Landa has to spend the rest of his days with a permanent reminder to everyone that he's a horrible person and suffer the consequences that come with being a horrible person (everyone hates him and hopefully punches nazis everyday SO TRUE!!!!). And i think if hermann was his lover thatd make his punishment even better. Since he had to witness the love of his life be shot before him and live the rest of his life knowing that he caused his lovers demise. His plan caused the only person in the world he loved more than himself to be killed and scalped and he just has to live with that forever now. its sooo much better i think that kind of torture is soooooooooo deserved tbh to me itd be a fate worse than death because id look at my hands and think to myself "i did all of this to make sure wed live together. and i still failed. what was this all for?". its so fucking well deserved ITS SO RIGHTEOUS!!! EVERY HORRIBLE THING LANDA DID WAS FOR FUCKING NOTHING BECAUSE AT THE END OF THE DAY HERMANN STILL DIED! HIS RANK AND ACOMPLISHMENTS AND SINS MEAN NOTHING BECAUSE IT DIDNT PROTECT HIM-- IF ANYTHING IT CAUSED HERMANN TO DIE FROM A FIREY BULLET OF JUSTICE! AAUAGWHWH YES..... YES....!!!! I LOVE WELL DESERVED TORTURE. EAT SHIT AND DIE LANDA LETS FUCKING GO!!!!!! okay i need to stop myself before i get a little too into it. but yeah i think landa deserves a fate worse than death and i believe hermann being his lover solidifies that he does get that (THANK GOD)

anyways guys i really liked inglorious basterds its even better with yaoi cocaine please have a whiff before you watch for the best experience 😍

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landa u done fucked up bro 😭