nottyouraveragegoblin

[nottyouraveragegoblin]

kind of obsessed with the goodreads reviews for the pro caelio

[nottyouraveragegoblin]

literally black sails will get queer people everywhere to turn into . is evangelists the right word. we stay asking people do you have a moment to talk about black sails

[nottyouraveragegoblin]

funniest thing our wizard has ever said after spending several seconds going through their spell list:

"oh who am I kidding? fireball."

[nottyouraveragegoblin]

“If you want to understand any moment in time, or any cultural moment, just look at their vampires,” says author Eric Nuzum. Our vampires are not like the remorseless Victorian vampires, who had a taste for the blood of babies and did not seem to feel badly about it. Our vampires are conflicted. Some of them go hungry rather than feed on humans, and some of them drink synthetic blood. “Almost all of these current vampires are struggling to be moral,” the journalist Margot Adler observed […] “It’s conventional to talk about vampires as sexual, with their hypnotic powers and their intimate penetrations and their blood-drinking and so forth,” she reported. “But most of these modern vampires are not talking as much about sex as they are about power.”

Power, of course, is vampiric. We enjoy it only because someone else does not. Power is what philosophers would call a positional good, meaning that its value is determined by how much of it one has in comparison to other people. Privilege, too, is a positional good, and some have argued that health is as well.

Our vampires, whatever else they are, remain a reminder that our bodies are penetrable. A reminder that we feed off of each other, that we need each other to live. Our vampires reflect both our terrible appetites and our agonized restraint. When our vampires struggle with their need for blood, they give us a way of thinking about what we ask of each other in order to live.

— Eula Biss, On Immunity: An Inoculation

[nottyouraveragegoblin]

Thoughts on hairy bisexual men with brown eyes who are also sluts?

thoughts on love and laughter and sunlight???? what are we even doing here. i need to fuck him

[nottyouraveragegoblin]

Dorian Pavus in Dragon Age: Inquisition insp. by @margariemargarita

[nottyouraveragegoblin]

My suck or fuck response kicked in

[nottyouraveragegoblin]

Request of @modpsycho100 vampire the masquerade character, Lucius! I had so much fun drawing him, he has wonderful vibes.

If you'd like a request, check out my ko-fi!

[nottyouraveragegoblin]

actually vampires are real and I know all of them and they said they won't come out until everyone agrees to be nice to them. I told them I'd tell you guys that so if we could just get 8.1 billion likes on this so I know everyone's cool then we can have vampires

[nottyouraveragegoblin]

vampire boyfriend who thinks it’s cute when you bite him back

[nottyouraveragegoblin]

It’s a common misconception that vampirism automatically leads to bisexuality but shocking new information from the World Health Organization says that, through sheer coincidence, everyone who’s ever been turned into a vampire was already bisexual. Scientists and statisticians all over the globe are working hard to understand this absolute statistical clusterfuck. More at 11.

[nottyouraveragegoblin]

yea

[nottyouraveragegoblin]

*no chicago bc it would obviously sweep lol

[nottyouraveragegoblin]

I know that’s kind of the go-to thing to show that a vampire character is “one of the good ones” or whatever but it actually seems a little bit more fucked up for a vampire to steal blood from a blood bank than for a vampire to attack people for blood, at least as long as it’s not the kind of vampire where a bite is instantly lethal like it never stops bleeding. 

People can recover from losing some blood but blood bank blood is constantly in short supply and is reserved for people who imminently need blood transfusion of a specific blood type or else they die.

[nottyouraveragegoblin]

Can I speak my truth. I don’t think Brienne is even a little gay. I think she’s a kinsey zero who false positives on everyone’s radar. I think if you dropped brienne into new age 2024 she would get treated as a lesbian in her day to day life but whenever a woman liked her she’d be like. Ummmmmmm I’m really sorry but I don’t. Feel like that. I think she’d give lesbianism the good old college try bc of the direness of her male love life and come down firmly on the side of not attracted to women. I think she is quintessential pnw woman who you think is a slam dunk homerun lesbian based on everything about her who drops the word husband on you. I think she gets clocked on sight and mentions a partner named Jaime which makes people go. Okay. Partner i know that game. Jamie easily the name of a lesbian. Easily. And then she drops the he pronouns and you go. Well. Could still be a weird lesbian. And then Jaime is a business major in a frat with generational wealth. And HE is the kinsey five in the relationship.

[nottyouraveragegoblin]

salmon so tasty it make me eat hasty / when salmon is finished the joy is diminished

[nottyouraveragegoblin]

more stuff about becoming a god being inherently dehumanizing pls