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[novelember]

Novelember Day 30

4100 words today! 

I was going to do a writing marathon if possible and thankfully I slept well and my headache went away. I did some work on printables 1st (reading a writing book–which got me already thinking about writing) then reread what I wrote on Monday, wrote some notes… looked at my notes for the next part, then finished the last sentence. That sparked writing the rest of it. I actually didn’t use what I wrote yesterday in my notebook. Oh well. 

once I got to writing, it flowed quite well. perhaps faster than normal because I started writing about 11 and had 4100 words by about 2 (if I remember right. maybe 2:30…but that’s when I was getting lunch…)

a lot of reaction to what went before– and a lot of things to react to so perhaps that’s what helped. a time to reflect and figure out what happens next. for the characters and for me I suppose

nearly 350k words now… maybe there already. 

something I thought of a while ago that seemed to fit… 

happiness but at the same time… lots to recover from and then

finale 

I did think maybe I could stop here. then start the next story… but. I don’t think that works. what do you think

[novelember]

Novelember day 29

Headache all day. Problems feeding my cat a pill-- stressful. I watched a show.... thought I might not get to writing

But just before bed i wrote a few paragraphs :)

[novelember]

Novelember day 27

I wrote 10 sentences in my project

potential

thinking about next part… a sketch to see what works, where it’s going

[novelember]

Novelember days 23, 24, and 25

3200 words on Wednesday, a few notes on Thanksgiving, and 2400 words today. 

[novelember]

Novelember day 21

Well-- I had to go to pets this morning and my cars tires were low and so I took dad's car so I was a little late. Then I had to go back and fill up my tires (I had to go to the car repair shop bc the gas station has taken air out of my tires before and was also malfunctioning last night). Then once I was downtown I put cash in the bank. So I didn't get to writing til about 11

I typed up my notes from yesterday and the day before then went through my notes for the current scenes over again to figure out what to fill the gap in events I have right now, for what happens next. It has to be logical but also go with what the characters are feeling

This is also a crucial place. I not only have to bring a lot of characters together. I have to describe this very crucial decision moment. I was thinking of a future crucial moment... but this one actually is as well. Perhaps most important because it is the emotional through line that underlies the whole story. In a way, I didn't find it until recently. It's not what he feels but his decision about what he feels. The whole story has crucial decisions but the most important is toward the end-- bringing everything together, around which the whole story hinges. Around which all characters and events revolve. The protagonist at the very eye of the hurricane. The lever that decides what happens to them and others. In a massive way.

I wanted to write, type up what I wrote, but it was getting to be lunch. Mind wasn't working as well so I figured I'd go back to it when it's fresh. Hopefully tomorrow-- write what I figured out.

[novelember]

Novelember day 20

I wrote some more in my notebook from where I left off yesterday. I wrote notes of where it might possibly go. Different paths appear.... why so many at the end when I want to close it off. Which is the best. Idk.

[novelember]

Novelember day 18

1800 words!

I cut out a bit more words. Then added some earlier to make it make sense. I worked on notes several hours this morning. Reading, rearranging, figuring out the heart of the story, what I didn't have right before. I think I distilled it and I'm like, why didn't I get this before. You have to have things logical, and be in tun with the character's emotions, and see everything clearly. Then you just describe it. Plus have central emotional through line clear. Which can be a bit muddled if you have several. But what is the main one and how do you need to bring it out and show it in the story. To high intensity the closer to the climax.

I changed the setting a bit too. And it just felt better.

I think this is working, the foundation for the rest. Now. Write fast :)

[novelember]

Novelember day 17

I thought.... I don't want to have to cut more writing again. So I went back through all my main notes. Realign with the center of the story. Perhaps root out or adjust something that doesn't work. I got some ideas... I'm not sure what is wrong so it's fumbling around in the dark a bit.

Maybe it's that I used that house I saw and grafted too much "real" onto it

Maybe it's that I brought in something that diverges too much... something too big that skews it off course too far

Maybe it's just the content of what I wrote

Or. Some main ideas I forgot.

This story is so massive... maybe it's that it has to have an ending that does it justice and there may not be such a thing

Maybe it was too random and unfocused to begin with... so it's all unraveling

In my notes I saw, just write what's fun and skip the rest

Maybe I should do that. Without making it make no sense. At all. Bc that would make the story hard to write

Maybe 300k is too long

Maybe I just need to push past this and it'll work out.

At some point I want to write a story people actually are ecstatic about.... you'd think I would have hit on one after all I've written. A genius I am not. 😞

After all day, jaw tense bc I have to get everything going NOW, I was getting a headache. I took some medicine, began to feel better (not all). To write. Look at notes

Then I began falling asleep like 5 times and figured I'd better go to bed

[novelember]

Novelember day 16

I cut out some more, cut notes and put in previous notes document, rearranged notes. To reflect the new direction.

This is what I normally do only for some reason hitting a problem when going toward climax. I'm trying to figure it out. I thought i had it figured out years ago but maybe that's the problem. For me, writing is dynamic. I cannot see the correct version of the story ahead of time. Because I have to follow the characters in the moment. Feel what they feel. That's how their feelings are authentic. And the story feels real to me so i can write it. Also I like surprises and discovery.

So. What I thought of before may not fit what I have written now. I have to readjust somehow to present situation. Can't graft on an ill-fitting ending. Problem is I'm not sure what fits. Well... just follow the characters. Things may have gone too off course tho too... idk.

Will I finish this

[novelember]

Novelember day 15

Well I cut out most of this chapter I wrote so far. It's OK to build on something that's just ok but it will collapse everything you've built if you build on something totally unstable.

Now I have to figure out what's wrong.

I thought.... why didn't I see this in the 1st place. There were some obvious things I just. Forgot. Why is this. I didn't think I rushed too much. Just. Not having a mind I guess

Will this turn into anything. Will this all be for nothing.

Should I diverge from my general ideas or will that make it worse

Should I rush through or abandon so I can write an original novel...

Something good finally

Or should I abandon writing altogether

[novelember]

Novelember day 13

1500 words!

I had a headache... not bad but I didn't want it to get worse. I ate lunch, watched rest of movie/1 office ep then I was like, I want to write. During, my headache disappeared.

It's kind of nice to write in the afternoons. Mind is best in the morning buy. Normally I do or should work on work in the afternoons but it worked today bc I did get enough sleep so wasn't that tired by then. I wanted to get some done by evening.... so I can make sure to have some done. It is novelember after all and I do want to finish this

I was thinking before (extremely hungry before lunch, stopped at taco johns while going to pets... then... the person was already back taking a shower-- I ran back out hoping she hadn't heard me come in aaaaah nightmare.... anyway) that maybe I should just. Finish fast and work on a project that will turn into something. Writing or something else. Productive. Not finish my ideas.... bc ppl aren't reading it anyway. It is massive and rather random and perhaps not the best.... but. Maybe I should finish the right way after all this time. Maybe if I keep writing daily I will finish soon

I already have about 350k words. It'll be over 400k at this rate. How many fics reach this?

It was a bit hard coming up with things... in trying to think in villain mode. In elite, privileged mode where money is no object and twisted people can do anything they can imagine. Which... I don't want to dwell on that too much. But this is what we're up against.

This part reminded me of squid game a bit. Not like, ultraviolent... but from the pov of the elite... and just as horrible in a way. Too much so? Oh well.

And it's a bit like descending into levels of hell. Where people have 0 good thoughts and evil is the focus, the passion.

Just 1 more section.... then....

Boom

Next phase...

[novelember]

Novelember day 12

2900 words today!

I woke up a lot last night but went back to sleep, woke up finally at 6:47, figured I might as well get up, I needed to go to pets-- take mt laptop there-- and then I could write the rest of the morning

Well there was no food at home for breakfast bc I took my bread to the pets yesterday (any other quick bread like food had too much sugar in it) so I grabbed my Spaghetti-os and went to eat them after giving breakfast to the pets. While I ate them and drank mountain dew I watched videos of Kherson liberation. I'm so happy for them! This counts as legitimate delay for writing.

Got to writing about 10. Despite the caffeine my mind was a bit foggy... I'm wondering if I have a slight cold or something. It's been like that several days along with a stuffing and slight scratchy throat... barely there but. I thought about maybe watching a show bc my mind wasn't sharp but... I have this nice Saturday morning, to potentially actually get some words down.

Still... it took some time to get started bc I had this dilemma. How do they get in. Layered dilemma for me bc I'm working with both the protagonists' minds and the antagonists'. A sort of chess game. Which doesn't come naturally to me. But it is essential to know what the bad guys are thinking in the story. They are ones that control the board. They make the 1st most powerful moves and the good guys have to react even though they don't always know who even made the moves, what they are in reality, or why.

I made Jason think aloud on order to figure out what to do, which i may cut out later. I figured out something that works. Then I had to figure out the next move. It's hard to make the characters even move forward when there is an opponent so powerful they may not have a way to move at all. But they have to... without being stopped too soon and without making the antagonist seem too weak.

Well, we cant deal with that forever. It may not be that realistic oh well. We are at the next stage.

Literally

And undercover. In the den of the enemy. How long until found out. Especially when some very horrific things are going on.

It's a balance, showing but not too much. Especially involving children. I don't want to be graphic at all (thinking of trafficking and abuse of children makes me sick.) But they're enslaving children and we are fighting it-- so the evil has to be strongly implied.

[novelember]

Novelember day 11

1200 words today!

I woke up late ish and I didn't know if I was supposed to go to the office or not and... so was like past 10:30 when I started working on story. Reread what I wrote before... arranged notes etc then started writing. But I didn't just write and keep going. I think it's bc I still have to figure out a dilemma the characters have. And it's kind of setting up the whole next part. So writing seemed a bit disjointed. In order to get an idea of what to do I made a rough map of the city. Actually to figure out which way they were going, what the edge of thr city looked like.

The opposite side of the lakes are hills. I made it be hills bc I am basing the house on a fancy house I saw recently. It's the west side, closer to Austria, and you could see the sunset if it wasn't cloudy.

I also roughly sketched the house to know basically how to approach it. How the characters will.

The problem is, there is high security. So--how will they get in? They need to get in asap

[novelember]

What do you enjoy most about writing?

[novelember]

artists please divorce yourself from the internet attention machine and focus on becoming weirder and having more fun instead of creating more engagement for corporate social media giants

[novelember]

Novelember day 9

I continued looking at the notes I have. Cut out ones I don't need anymore. I put them in a prev notes doc in case I need them after all.

I typed up the notes I wrote in my notebook last night. Wrote down some more. Arranged them so the most relevant ones to what I'll be writing are all together. The overall notes 1st then the more specific ones having to do with the upcoming action. I'll delete them once I use them or keep them if they seem to be more durable. The ones that are most likely I put right ahead of my writing which I'll use as a rough guideline.

Now I think I may just go ahead and not reread them again bc there are so many. And will I need most of them going forward. I put the ones I'm more likely to need closer to the notes having to do with the present.

I also went back to look at characters I hadn't seen in a while to make sure they're consistent. I need to do that a bit more then... hopefully write, tomorrow or Friday

I'm looking forward to this. There is also a dilemma... I am not good at thinking technical ish things so I have to figure it out beforehand... though sometimes it comes to me in the situation. But not always satisfactory. Oh well it's fanfiction. I can't take it too seriously but on the other hand I have to work pretty seriously bc I wouldn't enjoy something that was just haphazard. Just thrown together, one word after the other. A lot may be spontaneous but. I also think a lot out. I think about it beforehand, possible contingencies. I reread and make sure characters and setting are consistent. I can't remember all.... but its better to catch a detail like if the person has a limp beforehand than during the scene. Not outline the scene but know what you have to work with. Then you can play within those boundaries.

[novelember]

Novelember day 8

I wanted to write. But before the next chapter I figured I'd better review my notes to make sure I have everything straight. I dont forget something crucial at this crucial point

Very tired anyway... morning writing is usually better (when nor falling asleep when reading old lines. I've reviewed some of them many times... perhaps so many I don't understand them anymore)