Broke the sissy boy's teeny toy heart in two. Turned him into a video kid like you.
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I am nobody I am nobody I am nobody I am nobody I am nobody I am nobody I am nobody I am nobody I am nobody I am nobody I am nobody I am nobody I am nobody I am nobody I am nobody I am nobody I am nobody I am nobody I am nobody I am nobody I am nobody I am nobody I am nobody I am nobody I am nobody I am nobody I am nobody I am nobody I am nobody I am nobody I am nobody I am nobody I am nobody I am nobody I am nobody I am nobody I am nobody I am nobody I am nobody I am nobody I am nobody I am nobody I am nobody I am nobody I am nobody I am nobody I am nobody I am nobody I am nobody I am nobody I am nobody I am nobody I am nobody I am nobody I am nobody I am nobody I am nobody I am nobody I am nobody I am nobody I am nobody I am nobody I am nobody I am nobody I am nobody I am nobody I am nobody I am nobody I am nobody I am nobody I am nobody I am nobody I am nobody I am nobody I am nobody I am nobody I am nobody I am nobody I am nobody I am nobody I am nobody I am nobody I am nobody I am nobody I am nobody I am nobody I am nobody I am nobody I am nobody I am nobody I am nobody I am nobody I am nobody I am nobody I am nobody I am nobody I am nobody I am nobody I am nobody I am nobody I am nobody I am nobody I am nobody I am nobody I am nobody I am nobody I am nobody I am nobody I am nobody I am nobody I am nobody I am nobody I am nobody I am nobody I am nobody I am nobody I am nobody I am nobody I am nobody I am nobody I am nobody I am nobody I am nobody I am nobody I am nobody I am nobody I am nobody I am nobody
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nobody cares about you nobody cares about you nobody cares about you nobody FUCKING CARES ABOUT YOU
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inching ever closer to my ten year anniversary with my husband and I'm realizing I don't think I want to be with him anymore
#text#he gives me nothing emotionally#sure we laugh and have fun#but right now I don't feel like his spouse#I feel more like a friend he gets to fuck sometimes#I know it's trouble when I start to seriously consider how we could possibly break up. I'm terrified.#I deserve to feel special. our 10yr anniversary should not just be another anniversary#I shouldn't have to beg him to help me plan something special#I shouldn't have to beg him to do ANYTHING nice or romantic
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I'm so tired of having things dangled in my face only to be taken away from me. I'm so tired of being disappointed with literally everything in my life.
I'm tired of my sister trying to control our finances. I'm convinced that if she could put my family under financial conservatorship she would. poor people deserve nice things too, which she says she believes as well if her social media is anything to go by, but she sure doesn't act like it. if we want a random "luxury" that most people have, well, too bad. we're too poor for that.
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it could just be hormones, or the depression, or w/e, but I really didn't like my husband today. everything he said grated on my nerves, and I just couldn't stand his jokes or his teasing. there are more times than not that I think that maybe we aren't clicking like we used to.
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I wish I'd never published my books. I'm so tired of being constantly overlooked in everything I do, I'm tired of people ignoring me all the time. I worked so hard and every time I try to tell people about them no one hears me. I'm so tired of being invisible.
it's been over a year since I first published and I've only gotten 36 buys on both books combined. ads I've made have reached literally thousands of people and yet no one cared. I can count on one hand how many of my friends have bought them, and even then it was only the first of the series. and I keep having to watch them post about books they're reading and how they want to read more, and yet they ignore me. I know my books wouldn't be for everyone but they won't even give them a chance.
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had to create a vent blog since not even my husband wants to talk to me anymore
#text#he wants to help me#but I fail to see how telling me he's tired of my sadness is supposed to help#and then going on a tirade about how I'm too emotional etc.#I probably should've run away 11 years ago when he got self-righteous over weed#of course he chose when I'm actively suicidal to decide to drop the 'I can't take it anymore' bomb#when I don't have any other friends or a therapist to turn to#like what the fuck am I supposed to do
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