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Don’t Be a Stranger

Chapter Four - Through Distance

chap. summary: joel leaves for a week-long work trip

chap. tags: flirting, slow burn, joel is difficult with feelings, and gets nervous around her but he tries!!

a/n: sorry it took so long for this chapter to come out. i’ve been injured, sick, busy and just burnt out, but we are so kinda back!!

chap. list: chap. 1 , chap. 2, chap. 3

ao3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/65384158/chapters/169289920

———

The first day without seeing him show up in your shop is somewhat difficult, as you had nothing to really look forward to. You kept yourself busy with sketching in your notebook during slow hours, writing out a couple of ideas to put into better words on your computer, and took a couple of small pastries for lunch. Your coworkers knew something was up when you seemed less interested in drama than usual, and they figured it out quickly and decided to tease you about it every other minute to where you just rolled your eyes and brushed them off.

“Your man not comin’ in today?” Your coworker Al asked. You cursed silently, embarrassment creeping through your head while you thought of all the times you surely looked stupid. Like a woman head over heels for someone out of her league. At least, that’s what it felt like.

You turned to give him a menacing look, your eyes burning into his skull, every intent to make him forget he ever saw anything.

“Not my man, just a really nice friend.”

Laughter erupted, but it wasn’t harmful. His words never hurt. Al waved you off while he turned the other direction, mumbling something you chose to ignore.

You sighed. You loved your coworkers. You really did.

Sometimes.

They were like family, they always looked out for you and were always ready to give you bad advice or tease you about anything and everything. Al had commented on how you acted around him, how you seemed desperate to be the one at the counter to catch him when he arrives. He brought up how different you were compared to your ex, but that wound was deep and you could only try to forget it to keep your sanity.

The rest of the day went on peacefully. You cleaned up a bit and told your coworkers you were heading off, in which Al said “tell him we say hi,” and you walked out the door without another word.

———

Once you made it to your apartment, you pulled out your phone, seeing if there were any messages. You sighed, feeling yourself sink into the couch with a twang of disappointment when you saw your inbox was empty.

You weren’t sure when he’d call, or even message for that matter, but you couldn’t help but think about what he might be up to, and you wanted to hear about his day.

You shook your head. You had to be patient, you didn’t want to come off as obsessive. He said he’d call, you would just have to wait for the ring.

In the meantime, you stood and decided to clean up a bit before making yourself dinner. You slid a CD into the player and got to work, humming along to the song while you vacuumed up the dark floors. Soon enough, you’d bring out the mop. You mentally checked off a list of things to clean while you waited.

Despite a long day at work, you found peace in continuous exercise, where you could always keep your hands busy and your mind at ease with whatever project you were working on. The mindless tasks helped you feel productive. The guitar was another one of the few hobbies that kept you busy yet satisfied, and you thought about picking it up later tonight after you cleaned.

Minutes passed and you found yourself lost in the music playing through the player without another thought, and before you knew it, your apartment was clean.

Next was dinner. Another task to check off. You opened the fridge and it creaked a bit, something you’d kept forgetting to check. You pulled out slices of turkey, a couple containers of dressing, and then bread from the cupboard next to the fridge.

A turkey sandwich was a godsend. Easy, efficient, and delicious. Kept your energy up, helping you stave off potential hunger later on.

You made the sandwich and sat back on the couch, satisfied.

Pausing for a moment, you glanced at your phone on the coffee table, and picked it up, finding that there were no messages.

You took a second, biting the skin of lip before you made your decision.

Fuck it.

You opened the keyboard and began to type a message to send to him, just writing out a simple hello and how—

Your phone lit up, his name flashing on the screen with a light chime, buzzing in your hand.

He said he’d call.

And he kept his word.

Your phone didn’t shut off, his name was flashing and you couldn’t figure out what to do next, your mind was scrambling to force you to take action, to answer the phone.

You glanced at the clock, and realized that he’d probably just got off work, it was a little after six.

You felt stupid. Of course, he was busy. Not everyone had the hours you did.

You took a deep breath and accepted the call, putting the phone up to your ear.

“Hello?”

“Hey, just got off work,” Joel said.

You smiled to yourself, mentally kicking yourself in the shin.

“Good to hear you, how was your day?”

You could hear him sigh on the other end. “Oh, yknow,” he sounded exhausted. “Tiring, wishin’ I was home right now.”

You nodded, though remembered he couldn’t see that. “Sounds like it, glad it’s over.”

“Enough about me, how was your day, darlin’?”

The name made your heart flutter, but you tried to keep calm. You mimicked his sigh, though making it more dramatic, and you could, practically hear him smile. “Ohhh yknow,” you couldn’t help but laugh a bit. “Tiring, glad I’m home right now.”

The change of words had him hum in acknowledgment. “Glad you are too.”

”Store isn’t the same without you,” you said, thinking back on the long, dull day.

“Well, few more days, I’ll be home ‘for you know it,” he said, as if you weren’t counting down the days.

“True,” you said, sitting back on the couch. “How’s Sarah been doing?”

“She’s good, heard she’s not givin’ Tommy any trouble, which is nice, but also expected nothing less,” he said.

You hummed. “Tommy?”

“Ah, sorry, Tommy’s my little brother.”

”You have a brother?” you exclaimed, incredulous. You could hear Joel laugh on the other line. You learn something new about him almost every time he opened his mouth, and wished the phone call would never end.

”Forgot to mention, he’s the one watchin’ Sarah.”

”What else have you forgot to mention?” You asked through your grin.

”Now, what would be the fun in tellin’ you everythin’ right now?” He questioned, his tone light.

You sighed. “You’re right, should just wait ‘til we see each other again.”

”Should wait til we’re at a table sittin’ pretty,” he joked.

”Oh?” You felt your stomach flip, curious of his next words.

He made a humming sound on the other end, the only form of acknowledgment to his words.

”Said too much now you’re shy?” You tease.

”Not shy, just lettin’ my mind wander.” He answered, but the tone of his voice said otherwise.

You gave him grace and changed the subject, talking about the people you saw today and the pastries you made. You couldn’t tell if you were boring him or if he was interested, but the small hum in acknowledgement every now and then kept you going, his voice low and deep, almost throwing you off your track a couple of times.

“I’ll make you both some fresh pastries for the day you return.”

“Mighty kind of you,” he replied, and you felt the words vibrate through your skin, feeling warmth as if he was with you. He seemed sleepy, and so comfortable.

The silence between the lines let you listen to any bit of movement he was doing, the slight noise of his breathing. You felt at peace. You leaned your head back and closed your eyes, head feeling heavy.

“You alright?” You heard Joel ask. Something in his tone seemed more serious than previously, and you felt caught off guard, too vulnerable. The calm eased your heart but feeling so exposed just through the phone made your eyes water, and for practically no reason at all.

“Yeah,” you said suddenly, hoping he wouldn’t notice the catch in your voice. “Yeah, I’m good.”

He didn’t say anything right away, almost as if he was processing it. “You can tell me if anythin’s on your mind,” he then said, a bit quiet. “Don’t matter what it is.”

You felt your eyes blur with tears, though you didn’t blink, refusing to let them fall. It was so stupid. You were comfortable, the least anxious you’d ever felt around anyone you didn’t know well, and you were crying. You inhaled deeply, as if that would help pull the tears back in.

“I’m alright, Joel,” you said, your voice coming out more like a sigh than a firm statement. “Just tired, I think.”

“Well, I’m here if you need anything,” he said, his way of saying it’ll be okay.

“Thank you, you’re a good…” you felt yourself trail off. Friend? Surely, that’s what he was, right now at least. Right? It not like you were going out at the moment, but you wished you were. You truly wished he’d ask you right now, though he was miles away.

“Friend,” you then said. “A great friend.”

No words came out of his mouth, just the small “mhm” that reaffirmed your question. You waited a beat.

“Anytime.”

———

Friends.

The call had ended, and he was sitting on the couch of the hotel room his job paid for, leg crossed over the other with his head resting against his hand.

He could tell something was off, and he couldn’t help but worry a bit.

He stood, setting his phone down on the table and walked over to his bed. Pulling the covers back, he got beneath the blankets and rested his head on the pillow, thoughts swirling in his head while he tried to pick and choose which to focus on.

They were all about her.

He wondered if something happened while he was away, if something was bothering her snd she couldn’t say. It bothered him. Surely she wanted him to call, maybe he caught her at a bad time.

He winced in pain after realizing he’d bit his cheek, and then learned over to the side table to grab his phone. He flipped it open pulled up the messaging app, ready to type something—but nothing came to mind. Or, rather, too much came to mind. Everything he wanted to say he could send it right now, but the thought of her not responding or finding his intentions strange held him back.

He pulled apart the conversation and put it back together again. He still had a few days before he’d return home. There must be something he could do to help, but it was difficult without knowing the issue.

Friends.

His hand came up to cover his eyes while he squeezed them shut, that word consistently keeping him from falling asleep.

They were friends. It seemed strange to call whatever you both had that but he hadn’t asked her out, hell, he had left for the work trip the day after giving her his number. It was only expected.

But it still ate away at him a little bit each time he thought of it.

———

The next day, you were off to work, trudging along with music in your ears trying to make it to the weekend.

To when he returned.

You settled in the shop and got yourself a small breakfast, though you weren’t really hungry, it was just something to keep yourself alive for the morning. You readied some pastries and brewed coffee moments before the clock turned to the opening hour, and felt yourself begin to slow down.

Everything felt much harder than it did yesterday, and you weren’t entirely sure why.

When it was time to open the shop, you hurriedly unlocked the door, but was startled by a familiar face and someone alongside her.

You opened the door for them and were greeted with a big hug.

“Sarah!” You exclaimed, her arms tight around you with a small hello and giggle. You looked up to the man beside her, though had a sneaking suspicion of who it could be. His features were undeniably close to Joel’s, though his hair was light and his eyes were young and full of wonder. “And, I’m sorry, who are you?”

He laughed. “Tommy,” he greeted, and you smiled. He shook your hand gently, and you watched his eyes flicker over to Sarah, who was enthusiastically rushing toward the display of fresh pastries.

Tommy Miller.

Joels brother.

Sarah urged Tommy to look at the specials you had set out earlier, and you mentally noted how similar him and Joel were. Their mannerisms, the accent, the small smile. You wondered if Tommy looked up to Joel, if he ever wanted to be like him when he became older, and you felt warm. Their family bond must be strong, Sarah treats him almost just as she would Joel.

“Sarah told me all about this place, said we had to visit.” Tommy said, giving the place a look around. He stepped over to some artwork you had put up a year or so back.

You laughed. “Oh, is that right?” You looked at Sarah who nodded enthusiastically before leaning closer to you, pulling your arm gently for you to bend down and listen.

“Joel’s not in town to gawk over you,” she said quietly, Tommy’s attention focused elsewhere.

You smiled a bit and patted her shoulder. “Yeah, told me he was going on a work trip, that right?”

Sarah nodded, arms crossed. You smiled and then spoke.

“Must make it easier for you to manage, hm?”

Sarah sighed and rolled her eyes.

“You have no idea.”

You laughed while she caught up with Tommy, quick words of “uncle Tommy, you have to try this one!” or “can we get this one too?” while pointing at each and every desert to try.

Your heart swelled, hearing Sarah talk about her family, about Joel. She acts bossy in a way that’s caring, and sarcastic just like her Dad, though it must come from the whole Miller family because Tommy was giving her shit just a couple seconds ago.

After you rang them up for a few cakes, you got Tommy a cup of coffee, and he thanked you.

“Woah!” Sarah exclaimed, pointing at the decor on the wall—an abstract picture of a cat that was painted with pastel colors, the shape and outline more intricate with other detail more so than the rest of the picture.

“Who made that?” Sarah turned to you and asked.

“I did,” you smiled, and her jaw dropped wider.

“Ah, wait here,” you then said, rushing back to your notebook where you kept the rest of your ideas and drawing drafts.

You tore out a recent page of another sketch to be put onto canvas; stacks of mugs with an animal in each one, the background shaded and a large pot of coffee sitting next to the mugs.

“Here,” you gave it to Sarah, who took it with a huge smile.

“This is so cool!” She showed her uncle, who whistled to show he was impressed.

“Damn, you’re a real good artist,” he said, eyes wide while they traced over the artwork.

“I certainly try,” you said.

Tommy then turned to Sarah, handing her the bag of containers that held their cakes

“Sarah, go out to the car I’ll be there in a minute.”

Sarah raised a brow, suspicious, but did so anyway, leaving Tommy alone with you.

You were about to ask if everything was alright, but his expression showed there was nothing wrong.

“Thank you,” Tommy turned to you, giving you a warm smile.

You nodded. “Anytime!”

“No, I mean,” Tommy glanced at the floor for a second. “With Joel.”

Your eyes widened, unexpected to hear the name.

“What do you mean?” You then asked, curious. You thought of how quickly Joel was to fluster, to tease, and yet to find his words calm all the same.

“I mean, trust me, he’s a good guy, I just ain’t ever seen him so flushed at the damn dinner table at just the mention of someone he’d met,” Tommy laughed a bit.

You felt your face heat, wondering what they’d talked about, wondering if he’s brought you up more than you had with anyone, and it intrigued you. It was certainly something to tease him about later on.

“I suspect he’s been here often, though he must’ve made Sarah swear he hadn’t, can’t get much outta that kid,” he continued.

You felt yourself smile wide.

“Just about every day for the last few weeks.”

“Damn,” Tommy exclaimed. “At this rate—“ he stopped himself, biting his tongue.

You waited expectantly for more, but then he backed away, waving it off.

“Have a nice rest of your day miss.” His laughed to himself and walked out the door, where you waved goodbye.

You felt warmth flood through your chest, keeping you content the rest of your shift.

———

A couple days had passed, and you woke up early. You checked the time, glancing over at the clock on your wall, seeing it was three in the morning. You didn’t have to leave for a while yet, so you grabbed your phone, seeing the pale screen stare back when you opened it.

You sighed.

You and him had sent a couple messages back and forth, and he’d called yesterday, but it was like there was a hole in your chest, and it ached. You hadn’t told him about seeing Tommy and Sarah at your shop, you wanted to keep the feeling to yourself a little while longer, see what else you could notice with the bits and pieces mentioned.

The clicking of letters filled the empty room, and you sent a message.

You: Hey, you up?

Your hands came down next to your sides, hitting the comforter with a soft thud. He surely wouldn’t be up at this hour, and now he’ll probably worry, but you couldn’t focus on anything else, not the cakes you’d be cooking in the morning, not the customers you’d see, or even the fiction you’d scribble down in a daydream. It’s like your mind was trained to think about him and him only, especially at the worst moments.

Your phone lit up, and your heart began to pick up speed.

Joel: Yeah, everything alright?

You typed fast at first, but slowed when you realized how desperate you must look. Sighing, you sent the next message.

You: Can’t sleep

It was only seconds later that your phone buzzed, his name on the screen and you answered.

“Hey,” he said, and his voice sounded worn, raspy.

“I wake you?” You asked, brows knit in worry.

“No,” he quickly assured. “No, I couldn’t sleep either.”

You exhaled.

“Couple more days,” you then reminded him, in which he responded with a smile in his voice.

“Yep,” you could hear him sigh, happily, it seems. “Promise I’ll buy anything and everything you make.”

“Good, worried I’m gonna go out of business without your daily coffee fix.”

He laughed, seemingly adjusting in his bed because you hear a rustle of blankets. He sighs again, more content, somewhat sleepily, and it makes you feel tired.

“Hey, Joel?” You then began, setting the phone on your pillow and turning so you’re on your side.

“Hmm?”

You felt your face warm.

“Thank you,” you mumbled, feeling your eyelids grow heavy.

You could’ve sworn he’d said something else, but you’d already succumb to slumber.

———

Joel returned home. Tommy was waiting with Sarah, who was overjoyed to see her Dad again. She ran to him and jumped, hugging him tight, while Tommy greeted him with a nod. Coming home to Sarah was one of the best feelings, and he often worried she’d grow out of this once she becomes older, so he cherishes every second of it just in case.

“I missed you! I missed you I missed you I missed you,” Sarah exclaimed, making Joel flush with happiness.

“Missed you too, babygirl,” he said, giving her a large smile before placing a kiss at the top of her head.

She quickly began giving him a run-down of the week she’d had, talking about school, her friend Ellie, and the day her and Tommy went to the coffee shop, making him stop in his tracks, eyes flicking straight to his brother.

“Is that right?” He asked her, and watched as Tommy smiled wider.

“Hey, she told me we had to try the cakes,” Tommy held up his hands in defense. “Obsessed, I’ll tell you that much.”

Joel rolled his eyes, forcing down a grin in sight of his brother’s smug face.

Sarah gave her Dad more detail, saying she was there, she made the most delicious breakfast cakes for her and her uncle, how she was apparently responsible for some of the art hanging up in the store. Sarah showed the page she’d been given just a couple days ago, pointing at the intricate detail.

It amazed him. He recalled seeing some art in the shop, but he was certain he’d pay more attention the next time around. He had to see more.

A good part of the afternoon was busied with unpacking. He’d sent a message to her saying he was back home, but no response yet. She’d probably be off work soon, and he could admit he was a bit excited to hear from her.

By the time he glanced at the clock and saw it was three, he decided to head over to the shop, asking Sarah if she’d like to come with. She was more than happy to. At this point, she was used to making an appearance, ordering what she’d like and making conversation with the barista. She really came to adore her, which made Joels heart happy.

They made it down to the shop in less than ten minutes, and he could barely contain the joy on is face when he opened the shop door to see her there, talking with another worker.

She turned when hearing the chime, and her eyes lit up.

To his surprise, she came out from behind the display, and walked over and greeted them, her smile bright enough to fill the room.

She greeted Sarah, who gave her a hug and told her she wanted more of the strawberry cake she’d made her the day before, while also asking if she’d drawn anything else recently.

She told Sarah to check out some of the new cookies she set out earlier. Sarah caught on that it was a way to get time with Joel, but walked to the display regardless, shaking her head with a smile.

“Hi,” she said, and Joel was smiling.

“Hello,” he replied, noticing the bit of makeup around her eyes, the slight tone of her lipstick that brought out the color of her eyes.

“How was your work trip?” She then asked, making conversation.

Conversation, right.

Joel was great with words.

He felt himself staring at her, and she seemed to notice, because she nudged his arm gently with her finger, giving him a look that crossed between disbelief and awe. For what, he couldn’t tell. He was lost, a silent mess.

“Not much to talk about,” he then said, but gave it some thought. “Was really boring, if I’m being honest.”

She nodded with a smile.

“Figured it would be.”

“I want to hear about you,” he then said.

And so, she talked, telling him about the week, about a new recipe she’d been trying out, and he did what he did best; listened. The smile never left his face while he watched her expression change as she talked, he was just happy to hear her in person, to see her talk and to see her move. It reminded him that she truly was real, that this was a possibility, despite the looming voice that told him to go home and never return.

He didn’t want to screw up, he didn’t want her to leave.

So he figured he’d keep his mouth shut.

“—and Sarah has the latest one, but I had another idea I’d put up on the wall by the door,” she continued, pointing to the entrance.

“Whatever you make, it’ll work,” Joel responded. Her art was gorgeous, but he was too shy to ask for a piece himself.

“Oh!” Her mouth parted in shape, and she went back to the register, walking behind display toward the back, where only seconds between them were lost because she was fast coming back, this time with a book in her hands—a sketchbook to be exact.

“I drew this,” she opened the book and pulled out a page, handing it over. “For you.”

It was a butterfly, peacefully perched on a flower. Joel could see the gentleness of it all, of the delicate parts of nature. It was shaded, the background dark with highlights through the wings, and Joel was in awe.

She could tell. His jaw dropped slightly when he took the page to hold, running a finger over the heavily shaded areas while admiring the rest.

“Unless, yknow,” she started. “You don’t like it.”

Joel’s head snapped up quick, his eyes focused while he stuttered.

“No, no,” he said, a smile forming across his face. “It’s gorgeous, I love it.”

She smiled, seemingly silently proud of her work, watching him while he ran a finger over the sketched, completely drawing into the picture.

He then turned quickly, eyes locking with hers in determination.

“I need to ask you somethin’,” Joel then said, expression turned serious, though his hands still gentle with the drawing.

“What is it?” She asked, and he could tell worry was seeping in. He forgot the track of words, the way she’d twist with fear—and quickly urged himself to just get it out, to ask her.

“Um,” he swallowed thickly, glancing at his shoes.

Damn it, Joel, just say it.

“I’d like to ask you to dinner tomorrow,” he started after breathing in deeply. Her long lashes were so prominent, the way her eyes widened and makeup shone under the light. He was so distracted, searching for any disgust or fear on her face, worried he’d overstepped—but her face turned red and her lips upward.

“Doesn’t have to be fancy,” he continued. “Really, whenever you’d like. Your company is what matters.” He felt his hands shake a bit, and inhaled deeply while waiting for her to say something, anything, really.

She smiled sheepishly, nodding.

“I’d love to, Joel.”

[noxsspace]

going to try and upload a new chapter of Don’t Be a Stranger tomorrow!!

[noxsspace]

slowly but surely editing new chapters of both beauty of the redeemed and don’t be a stranger!!

[noxsspace]

updated my masterlist :)

Welcome!

⋆˙⟡♡hello! i’m nox | she/they | early 20s | undergrad | yearning lesbian with an obsession for pedro pascal |

Ao3: https://archiveofourown.org/users/outlawlee

I often write rdr2 and tlou fics. Masterlist below the cut <3

— Minors do not interact —

Fic Masterlist

𓆱 RDR 𐂂

The Beauty of the Redeemed

chap. 1

chap. 2

chap. 3

chap. 4

chap. 5 - currently writing

ᖭི༏ᖫྀ TLOU 𓃱

Our Days Gone By

chap. 1

chap. 2

chap. 3

chap. 4

chap. 5 - currently writing

Don’t Be a Stranger

chap. 1

chap. 2

chap. 3

chap. 4 - currently writing

[noxsspace]

“i told her her immunity meant nothin’”

ellie wanted nothing more than to mean something. oh, joel.

[noxsspace]

The Beauty of the Redeemed

Chapter Four • The Ones Going to Hell

chap. summary: previous run-ins leave her life in danger, but she is determined to seek vengeance

tags: violence, shooting, typical red dead stuff

a/n: sorry for the delay in uploading a new chapter, i’ve just been tired and kinda burnt out. but we’re so back, kinda!!

ao3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/64158559/chapters/164637475

chap. list: chapter 1, chapter 2, chapter 3

🃁🃜🃚· · · 𐂂 · ༺ ༻ · 𓃗 · · ·🃖🂭🂺

You weren’t panicked at first, only annoyed, and most of all, pissed at the can of coffee you had just dropped.

“What’s this about, gentlemen?” your jaw clenched while you spoke through your teeth while, glancing around in hopes of someone to notice.

The stores around you were bustling with customers but there wasn’t a single soul who seemed to notice the trouble you’d found yourself in.

Your arm was hurting under the man’s grip, but you wouldn’t be able to do anything yet, as you were being led to another group of men that seemed to be readying their carriage.

Now this could be bad.

“You were runnin’ with that group before, what were they called?” one of the men spoke, and you instantly felt regret for not paying attention sooner.

You felt warm breath against your neck as one of them laughed, one of the very few you’d seen that night. These people were part of the same group that you’d lost some of your people to, the last fight you’d found yourself torn apart from.

The very memory of your knees deep in the mud while the gun caressed your face shot through your mind, and you felt yourself begin to give away. You had to think tactically.

“Shouldn’t have stolen on our grounds, lady,” another man remarked, while you felt your arm being squeezed harsher than before.

“Shouldn’t have pulled the trigger on our man,” he continued, the gun deep in your back, while every sense in you begged you to run.

You contemplated your actions. You had a gun holstered, concealed on your thigh under your dress. Whether or not you’d be able to get it quickly was the main problem. There was no easy way out of this, and you could either go with them and end up dead, or die trying to get away, and you’ve advocated for the latter.

“You and that damn bastard—“

You shoved the heel of your foot in the man’s behind you, your free arm shoving his arm to the side at the same time, causing him to let out a yell and lose his footing. The gun went off almost right then and there, only grazing your side, and you immediately you turned and grabbed his gun while his body was a placeholder for yours, the barrel spinning for the next round for you to fire the bullet bullet. That bought you enough time to ready the next shot, where you took down three more men that were conveniently placed in a line. The few other men behind them heard the commotion and quickly sought cover.

Cowards, all of them.

You didn’t hesitate to then sprint to the side of the building for your own safety, where you then quickly checked the rounds in the barrel, counting both the ammo and the men left that you could recall. You were outnumbered, and it wasn’t anything you hadn’t handled before, but the blood spilling from your side brought fog to your head, and you felt dizzy. Glancing down at the warmth dripping down your leg, you saw the deepening red make its way across your stomach, and you began to panic.

The shooting pain and yelling men brought your senses back, and you then looked around for a back way out to the hotel, wanting to grab Arthur and go, if he hadn’t left already. The noise might’ve woken him up, maybe he’d left you to fend for yourself, though you hoped that wouldn’t be the case. You could really use the extra hand at the moment.

Please still be here, please.

You rushed to the back of the building, feeding through the tall grass and making your way into the small alleys, excusing yourself between townsfolk, until you circled around to the side of the hotel. You noticed the remaining men searching for you while you climbed up the back stairs, wincing in pain as some people around you fled out of fear.

Shoving the double windows open, you quickly strode through the upper hall, reaching for the door you had reserved only to find that Arthur was no longer in there. The bed was ruffled and your belongings were gone. You felt your heart drop and frantically tried to pull your thoughts together to figure another way out, when a booming voice rang just outside the wall.

“Get your ass down here now!”

You pushed the window open to see Arthur on his horse, gun drawn. Hope and relief flooded through, but then was quickly shot down as someone barged into the room, gun drawn and ready to fire. You wasted no more time, and climbed down the balcony, while letting out a short yell of pain, and you quickly hoisted yourself up on his horse. That made your vision blur, and you slumped against Arthur while he whipped the reigns.

“Damn it woman, I leave you alone—“

“I didn’t start shit, so don’t you blame me for this mess!” you yelled as he rode, your pistol in hand ready to fire at the next man that draws near you. Your arm almost gave, so you instead wrapped it around Arthur, keeping yourself steady.

Most of the other men had fled, only a few stood back with their guns aimed, poorly firing near your bodies.

“What is all this about then?” Arthur shouted back, gesturing to the bodies left in the town you wouldn’t be able to return to, at least any time soon. The pool of blood surrounding them covered their clothes, but to you, they were unmistakeable, even if you were in the dark.

O’driscolls.

“They said they knew me,” you began, trying to catch your breath as Arthur drove the horse to a safer area.

“Woman you better get your damn stories straight or I—“

“Arthur, they’re part of a group that killed my father,” you cut him off, though it being the truth, you only wanted to shut him up. Arthur hadn’t seen to notice much of the people shooting and yelling, he was solely focused on getting the hell out of town, making sure you were safe.

”Damn,” Arthur muttered. “You ain’t the only one who’s lost to Colm.” You didn’t hear him, your ears felt as if they were filled with water, your head heavy.

”Hey,” he spoke up, loudly. “Stay with me.”

You nodded, though he wouldn’t see.

You could hear the hooves planting hard on the ground, feel the wind on your cheeks and the warmth from Arthur’s back. The town was long gone now, and you seemed to be the only riders on the dead road.

“Was that what you were sayin’,” Arthur then inquired, treading carefully. “When you lost folk?”

“They’d took a couple from our group and killed my father in front of me,” you continued, your voice on the verge of breaking. You placed your free hand on your side, pressing down on the wound—it was certainly deep, though initial shot wasn’t painful. You couldn’t make out the depth of the injury with your dress, but was sure of its damage. Worry and dread filled you, but you didn’t want to stop. Not at least until you were both sure the law wouldn’t be on your trail.

“You alright?” Arthur then asked, sensing something was off. He cranked his head to look back.

“Yeah,” you said, voice wavering. Arthur glanced back a couple of times, then let out an exasperated sigh.

“Jesus, woman, what the hell happened?” He saw the blood seeping through your dress, your hand bright red and your breath weary.

“Been shot, the hell you think happened?” you snapped back, though regretted it. He was only trying to help, his words stern yet gentle with concern.

He looked behind you, searching for any sign of the law. Thankfully, they seemed to have dispersed, which means there’ll be more luck continuing on. He saw a shaded wood area after the clearing.

“We’re stopping here up ahead,” he said firmly.

Your head was swimming as faces of the men flooded your mind, each one recognizable from that day. The only thing that had been keeping you going was getting out of the state and far away from every spec of your past, the year had been unbearable to say the least.

Your father’s face smiled at you, while tears blurred your vision. His mouth opening to say his last words, you begged for mercy. A shot rang through the cold raining night and that was the moment your scream had been taken. Your lungs out of breath for what seemed like hours, your throat closing.

All the times you’d ventured together, you’d hunted, you’d killed, bounties upon bounties, helping your father with each one like it was nothing. Not one corpse shook your steep soul, not one scream or shout would move you from your place. It was all or nothing. You were his right hand, the glove that fit to perfection, the one to pull the trigger. He’d taught you everything you needed to know, you two were inseparable.

The night they stormed your camp, almost thirty men had their guns drawn, one of them holding a tattered picture with your father’s face, a large sum for his corpse. Taken alive would’ve been worth more, but at this point, each town had suffered enough.

Dead or alive.

Arthur slowed the horse within the trees of a forest, getting down then carefully helping you off the horse. You fought hard, but your exhaustion won, and tears slipped down your face silently. The pain in your side was lingering, your breaths labored.

“Sit up against that tree there,” he commanded, waving to the closest stump, and you did as you were told, though very slowly. You kept your hand on the bleeding wound, watching him unfold his pack.

“I keep some of this stuff with me usually, you’re lucky I had just stocked up,” he said, pulling out what seems to be a flask and some cloth.

You watched him as he unfolded the cloths. Anger and resentment coursed through your veins, you were furious that you were out here in the woods instead of finishing all the others off. Your body wouldn’t hold out, but your mind was determined. After all they’ve done to you, ripping your family apart, you wanted to see them dead on the ground.

“Let me see,” he said quietly, removing your hand. “Gonna need to cut this, hope you didn’t fancy it much,” he continued, bringing a knife up to the side of the dress.

“How else would you fix me,” you remarked, trying to bite your tongue despite his laugh.

“I know, I know. Hold still now,” he said while he cut a long slash down the side of your dress where the wound was, and continued to rip along until the rest of it was uncovered.

“This’ll hurt, but you’re tough,” he said, dousing the flask onto your wound, in which made you let out a yell.

“You fucking ass,” you exclaimed, your hand gripping his arm. He said nothing, and only cleaned it more, much to your dismay.

A couple more times he let the fluid drip against your skin, and then he was satisfied. He further examined the hole, sighing, knowing the supplies he had wouldn’t cut it.

“Well, I don’t got any needle and thread,” he said, beginning to wrap the wound, the fresh cloth covering the bare spot where your dress had been ripped.

“We’re gonna have to stop by the doctors in the next town over,” he continued, carefully pulling the cloth around your middle, keeping it tight enough to ensure it wouldn’t bleed much. You watched with watery eyes, thankful this part was over.

“How the hell did you get yourself caught up with the O’driscolls?” he then asked, tugging the cloth and fastening it on your side. You stared at him silently, your jaw clenching under pain while you fought for the right words.

“My father and I,” you started, hissing when he lightly pressed your stomach, “well, we went after them one night, had a group with us. My father had enough of Colms’ shit, wanted to put an end to it,” you rambled on, recalling the standoff like it was only yesterday.

It was supposed to be the last run, then you’d be off across the fields in no time. He wanted you to take the value of your life and use it elsewhere, though that would never happen. You told him you weren’t ever leaving his side, and he’d said he had raised you a bit too well, too loyal.

“Not only were we gonna take out him and a few of his men, but my father had his eyes set on a few gold bars he’d heard were stashed within their camp.”

Arthur kept his hand on your side, listening intently.

“Started off well ‘til one of our own crossed us, turned his gun to the back of my fathers head with one hand, the other waving Colm over. It was so sudden, everything stopped,” you said, and then noticed how his hand never left your body, the warmth spreading up to your chest, your neck. You placed your own hand over his.

“Just like that, they killed a couple of our men, knocked me on my knees, gun to my own head. His damned speech replayed in my head for months.”

Arthur hummed lowly. “Sounds just like the damn son of a bitch,” he said, shaking his head.

“Let me ask you somethin’,” he then said, his eyes meeting yours, “This all a way to get me and the Van Der Linde gang revenge for you?”

You immediately shook your head. “No, nothin’ like that. Just—“ you sighed, head falling back against the tree. “I just needed somewhere to stay, where my skills would be useful,” you laughed a bit.

Five thousand dollars for his head alone, enough to move far away after Colm would be begging on his knees for his life in front of you. Five thousand dollars was your ticket far away from here.

“I would like to move on,” you then said, “my father knew some other people a few states over, just needed a little money to get myself there.”

He nodded, then pulling his hand off your side to examine the cloth. It had bled through a bit, and he sighed.

“Let’s go,” he said, grabbing both your hands to help pull you up off the ground. “Takin’ you to a doctor.”

You silently agreed, squeezing his hands tight as you groaned in pain, your side burning with sharp needles that seemed to stab at you every second you held onto him.

He helped you up on his horse, him following suit before gently hitting the reigns against the horse to begin making way toward the nearest doctor.

You immediately felt comfort with his back pressed against you, your hands holding his sides firmly. The pain was agonizing due to the aggressive movement, and all you could think of was a nice warm bed.

Your mind drifted to the thought of lying on a soft blanket, head resting on a pillow and the room warm with comfort. Your wound healing and you’re healthy and recovering, it seemed like such a dream.

Arthur felt the eerily quiet air drift between you, and was starting to worry.

“So, how long have you had run-ins with the O’driscolls?” He asked, trying to part the cloudy thoughts in your head.

“A long while, ever since I’d been working with my father,” you replied, your side screaming when the horse picked up speed.

“I see,” Arthur said, leading the horse down a path. “We’ve been enemies of them for as long as I can remember” he then started, reminiscing like it was only a week ago when the traitorous man tried to kill them. “Dutch and Colm were friends.”

That was news.

You kept quiet, waiting for anything else to reveal under his breath, but Arthur said not another word, instead focused on getting you through town.

Your vision was blurring again, the ride and aggravating on your side causing it to bleed through the cloth some more. You looked down at it, letting go of Arthur with one hand to hold the wound.

“Hey, you okay?” Arthur asked when feeling the loss of your hand on him.

“Just tired,” you then said quietly, trying to hold onto consciousness.

“We’re almost there, hold on a while longer.” He said, and so you did. You wrapped your arms around him tightly and pressed your sweating forehead to his back, squeezing your eyes shut to try to block out some of the pain.

It was just as he said, only a little while longer. Before you realized, you were in front of the doctors and Arthur was helping you down. You felt dizzy and unable to breathe, but he was right there and his gentle touch pulled the pain aside for a split second. You had never felt more grateful for his presence, as unbearable as he is sometimes.

“Cmon, almost there,” he said, holding you up while walking with you to the doors, then through them, and finally, into the office.

At that point, you’d find the ground suitable to lay on, where then Arthur picked you up as if he could read your thoughts.

———

You woke in the bed of the small office, immediately searching the room for Arthur. When no one could be found, you started to panic, eyeing the tools in the door and the dimly lit light. Every instinct told you to run, to make a break for the brighter light in hopes to be found, to be saved. Your mind was foggy and you could barely make out any audible sound. Your lungs expanded as you inhaled, trying to calm yourself.

Once you caught your bearings better, you acknowledged that you were at the doctor, and Arthur was the one that brought you, so all was well.

You suddenly felt disgusted with yourself for letting him get in your head, wondering when you had first started thinking of him like this, like you needed him.

Since when has his importance been anything other than a head to return for a bounty?

You thought of the delicate and affirming care he gave you, the way his eyes looked you up and down with concern, the way he had held you on the way into this very office. No one had taken such care of a worn person, especially because of how broken you’ve seemed to become. Every action, every horrible decision you’ve made, causing another piece of yourself to bend, to tear. Your intentions seeping through the cracks, not always kind.

It was understandable an outlaw such as himself would hold you in the same regard as others, but still, there was something different about it, about him. You were both outlaws, ones that complimented each other well.

After all, each mission you’d accompanied him, you were the least of his worries.

It made you smile a bit.

Feeling the soft gauze around your body, you glanced down to examine the now bandaged injury, noticing that your dress was gone and you were instead wrapped purely in the medical tape. You pulled up the blanket, noticing you had pants on rather than a skirt, of which to be Arthur’s.

He must’ve had extra in his pack.

They were big, but you were grateful to be dressed at the least.

You let your head back onto the pillow slowly, trying to grasp a feeling on how your body was doing. It felt tired, the pain subsiding with only a mild headache. You contemplated falling asleep again, closing your eyes and letting the day pass while you healed.

A knock on the door startled you out of beginning slumber, and you turned to see who was walking through, relieved to find Arthur still here.

“You awake?” He asked, stepping over to the bed. “Was gettin’ worried, it’s been a few hours.” He laughed a bit, looking over your stomach and nodding when satisfied with how it was dressed.

“Was out for that long?” you murmured, your voice cracked and sore. He nodded, pulling a chair to sit beside you.

“Doctor said it’s good we came, you needed part of the bullet removed,” he said, pointing to the table at the far end of the room, indicating the remains of the bullet were on it.

You sighed, your eyes closing yet again.

“If you need to sleep i’ll get out of your hair,” Arthur said quietly, standing and tapping your arm as a sign of his departure.

“Please, don’t,” you then said, grasping for his hand to pull him back with what little strength you had.

His hand was calloused, rough. The contact with his skin made you feel alive, like it was meant to be. He was your source of energy, of spirit. You hadn’t felt yourself relax in so long, your body calm when he was near you, when he touched you.

He turned to face you, slightly shocked at your want.

“Woman, I’ll be in the other room, you need to rest,” he argued, yet not letting go of your warm hand. He was smiling despite his words. His sheepish face made you smile, too, when you shook your head in protest.

“Need you here, how else am I gonna stay awake so we can go?” You pointed out, assuming he’d be able to keep you up. “And stop callin’ me “woman”, or I’ll start callin’ you “man”,” you murmured, frowning even though it made him laugh.

“Now, we have all the time in the world,” he began, slowly walking back toward you, placing another hand over yours. “You can sleep, Colm isn’t goin’ anywhere.”

You huffed and rolled your eyes, though happy that he listened to your wish. He sat back in the chair, still holding your soft hand. Well, softer than his.

Your skin was worn in places where you’d gripped a gun more than shook hands, your bones were tired from constantly running, body littered with scars from fighting. He didn’t seem to care in the least bit, and instead, kept his eyes on yours, watching when they closed, thumb rubbing on the back of your hand.

It wasn’t long until he himself had drifted off, tired after the eventful day. He was thankful that the sun was already setting, so then hopefully, he could pick up right where you and him left off in the morning.

[noxsspace]

happy birthday, kiddo

[noxsspace]

anyways, thinking of updating The Beauty of The Redeemed

[noxsspace]

work and school are draining me so bad

[noxsspace]

i just need to be in the countryside while the sun is setting and i’m sitting against a tree playing the guitar yknow

[noxsspace]

Don’t Be a Stranger - Chapter Three

Ringing Your Name

chap. summary: Joel makes a move

chap. tags: flirting, soooo much flirting, Joel is determined

a/n: UGGHHHH he’s so UGGHHHHHH

chap. 1, chap. 2

ao3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/65384158/chapters/168684007

———

Finally, it was Monday morning, and the weekend came to a saddening end. Sarah had been dropped off at school and he had gone straight to the site, a pit in his stomach that warned him of the day he was going to experience. The first few hours were testing Joel’s patience; work hadn’t been going as smooth and a couple people had called in sick, leaving only a few at the site, and the weather was shit, where it had started to rain a good two hours in after he’d already been there.

It was just lovely.

Despite all the issues, Joel thought about stopping by. He thought about driving down to see if she was there. It was now later in the day, and he wondered if her coworker was telling the truth.

He finally packed his box, grabbing his now-dry jacket to throw in the passenger seat, and stood against his truck.

There wasn’t a second that went by where he couldn’t taste a bit of the coffee, probably because of how much he was thinking about it.

At least, that what’s he kept telling himself.

Deep down he knew he wouldn’t be able to control his thoughts, the memory of her flashing in and out while he worked. He’d never been so fixated before, so hopeful and, what was the word, excited?

No, he never got this excited over anything, never found this bit of happiness in anything other than family. But this felt different. It felt like an open room with so many possibilities, he wasn’t sure which of them he might screw up.

He felt happy. And he left it at that.

But he yearned for more, to take a deep dive into the joy just to see what else he’d be granted with, and it was beginning to tear him apart.

Sarah’s words from last night frequently interrupted his thoughts—Dad’s met a girl.

Sure, he’d met one, but the way it was interpreted made it seem much more than what it was, and he didn’t want what already was. He wanted more.

He tasted metallic and realized he bit into his lip hard enough to make it bleed, and sighed.

There was no getting around this.

He had the evening to think about it, since working the morning and most of the afternoon. But, he also had a bit of time before he had to pick up Sarah. It was about 2:00pm, a good time as ever to stop for coffee, right?

Fuck it.

He shut the truck door and drove up to the coffee shop, work clothes and all. So what if he was dirty, if his hair was rustled from the construction hat and his shirt was covered in paint and dust. His shirt was dry, it’s not like he was going to burst through the door soaking wet with water dripping off the strands of his hair demanding to see her.

This wasn’t a goddamn movie.

Though, he needed coffee, and to see her. The dramatics were over the top, not his style, but nonetheless, he would show up and talk to her.

If he couldn’t catch her while he was at his most clean, kept and handsome, might as well keep the trend of working Miller. He supposed it would show whether or not she truly was interested.

He pulled the door handle and the chime brought him back to the previous day. The smell of coffee filled the air, making him feel more at ease.

He didn’t see anyone, and he knew he’d be making a fool of himself if she wasn’t here, if that worker had given him fake hours to throw him off. He couldn’t help but worry about it, his hand brushing through his hair, feeling his once-wet matted down tangles become a bit fluffed now dry.

He really hoped she was there.

Joel walked up slowly to the register, and peered at the back where the coffee machines were.

And she was.

She was brewing coffee.

He didn’t have to get her attention, she saw him almost instantly, as if she’d been waiting. Surely not, but he could dream. It was like her face brightened, her smile making him flustered before he could even say hello.

“I was wondering when you’d be back!” she exclaimed, throwing herself off the counter she’d been sitting on, making her way over to him. She leaned on the counter and he laughed, her excitement and happiness was as prominent as ever, and it made him feel like he made the right choice.

“Weren’t here the other day,” he said, jokingly. He hoped she caught that he’d been here when she wasn’t and that it was important, he hoped she wouldn’t brush it off without a thought. He wanted her to look deeper into his intentions, to see what he saw.

She shrugged. “Busy woman, don’t have time to run this place every day.” She gave him a smirk and tilted her head to the side a bit, eyes narrowing.

He felt himself smile, he couldn’t help it. He scratched his chin, nervous habit, and his eyes were glued to hers.

She leaned against the counter, hands together, elbows digging into the marble top.

“Funny that you mention,” she began, “heard you were looking for me?”

He felt his face warm. He was comfortable, she was comfortable to be around, and the fact that her coworker did tell her about him made him feel embarrassed, but he was glad. She knew he came for her.

“Oh, um,” Joel lost his voice for a second, trying to think of a plausible excuse.

She smiled, waiting expectantly. She was teasing him, and he couldn’t find any reason to complain.

“Thought maybe I’d see you, you know how to make a good cup of coffee,” he said, finally finding the words.

Her brow raised, knowing there was more than he was letting on, but he said nothing more. He cursed himself silently for not giving her more, for not saying why and for not explaining how much he was desperate to see her.

Instead, she hummed, seeking to change the subject.

“So, then, I’m gonna assume you’re here for coffee, right Joel?” She said it in a way that suggested otherwise, like she understood he wasn’t here for a cup he could make at home.

But his name, his name spilling from her lips was enough to make him go crazy, dear god he wanted nothing more than to hear it a million times over, he couldn’t think of anything else.

He shook his heads trying to focus, and nodded with a chuckle. “That’s right.”

She slapped a hand on the counter, and turned away. “Be right back.”

A few minutes later, she walked back over with a fresh cup of coffee, holding it carefully in her hand. He took it with a “thank you kindly”, a dusting of red creeping across her cheeks.

”So, Joel,” she said, leaning against the counter.

“Hm?”

”Whats your last name, or is that going to stay a mystery?” She asked with a curious smile.

”Why, you askin’ me out?” He joked, though he regretted the stupidity of his words, of how strange it sounded.

She laughed, brushing a few strands from her face. He felt relieved, seeing as she didn’t take it serious.

”Just wondering.”

He nodded, holding the hot cup gently in his hands.

”Miller,” he said. “Joel Miller.”

She leaned back.

“Mr. Miller,” she said, and he shook his head with a laugh.

”Just Joel, really.”

She only hummed in response while his mind went through and pulled the tone of her voice through for him to remember.

“Your weekend go good?” he asked, trying to use small talk, though he was never any good at it. In fact, he hated it. But anything to get to know her, to hear her talk a little while longer.

She sighed and her shoulders shrugged.

“Went just about as good as any other weekend I suppose, what about you?”

Though he was disappointed she didn’t seem to want to talk as much, he couldn’t blame her. She was, after all, at work, despite the shop being empty.

He gave her question some thought, and settled on telling her about the family gathering.

She listened intently, nodding along and laughing when he told her a but about Tommy, how stupid he was, getting off track to the original story. She didn’t seem bored, she continued to listen until he stopped talking, where then they were just both searching each other’s eyes for something else, something more.

Joel took a sip of the hot coffee, gasping when it hit his tongue, making her laugh.

“It’s hot, dumbass,” and the way she said it wasn’t mean, it was in a way that made him admit it, where he nodded in reply, his stomach flipping.

“Thanks, didn’t know,” he replied sarcastically, but there was no malice in his tone.

“Didn’t seem to, you seem rather occupied on something else,” she countered his sarcasm, and it made him weak. She eyed him, almost taunting, and he wanted to throw the cup and kiss her.

He could only distract himself with the hot of the coffee, taking another small sip while keeping his eyes on hers.

And so, they chatted for a little while longer, her talking about the shop and the kinds of people that she encounters, what her favorite type of drink is (it is indeed coffee, black), and a bit about Sarah, where Joel used the opportunity to show his pride.

Unfortunately their time was cut short when a customer stepped in.

Another week had passed, where he visited the coffee about every morning before work, greeting her each time, giving her a little peak into his life with every conversation. She’d told him more about her interests, told him about music, writing, all stuff that he himself had joy in doing—though he hadn’t picked up his guitar in a long while.

He stopped by again in the morning, before his early shift. He sighed, shutting off the truck. He had to pack for a work trip that started next Monday. He’d be gone for about a week while Tommy stayed with Sarah, despite her saying she could take care of herself.

Despite this, he still hasn’t given her his number.

He’s been thinking of how to say it, of how to give her the numbers without running away.

He didn’t want her to think he was never coming back, he needed to do this today.

He got out of the old vehicle, shutting the door and making his way to the entrance. Walking in, he was met with the usual greeting, though her back was turned. She’d become so used to seeing him, she could tell just by the time that it was him.

He felt himself smile despite his nerves.

“Already got your coffee, it just finished brewing,” she said handing it over. He was surprised, his brows raised and his mouth parted, frozen and unsure of what to say.

“Don’t worry, this,” she then said, “this just means we have more time to talk.”

She looked a bit sheepish, her voice quiet.

“You really thought ahead,” Joel commented, impressed.

“What can I say,” she said, her sarcastic tone back with more force than ever. “I’m young, thinking comes easy to me.”

He rolled his eyes but laughed.

“What a charmer,” he shook his head with a sigh.

“I don’t have to say anything to charm you,” she replied, giving him a taunting look.

“You got me there,” he said, faking a wound with his hand on his chest.

“You looks charm me enough.”

She laughed, face rosy, pulling a few strands behind her ear.

It was nice, a great start to his morning. They continued to bicker back and forth, sarcastic remarks with full compliments—their form of flirting that made his stomach flutter.

Before he knew it, other people were walking in, where she’d now have to go back to doing what she was being paid to do.

“Wait—uh, before you go back to work, here,” he pulled out a pen from his worn jeans, and wrote on a spare napkin from the holder on the counter, and slid it over.

Her eyes widened when she realized it was his number.

“You don’t have to, but it’s there, and you’re kind to talk to,” he said, talking a bit more faster than what his lungs seemed to take, but he wasn’t sure if it was just him or her.

She took it, slid it in her pocket, and smiled, cheeks rosy, and tapped his hand.

“Call you later, Joel.”

———

He let out a breath, closing the truck door with his heart racing.

He really just did that.

He just gave her his number.

He couldn’t remember the last time he even thought about doing that, about the last time someone had come close to reaching that point.

But he did it without her asking.

He did it without hesitation, determined to hear his phone ring and to pick it up for it to be her, to be her talking about her day and what she was up to, when she could see him again.

And she took it. She took his number and seemed so sincere.

Certainly, she must mean it, right? She’d been genuine, she did want to call him?

His eyes squeezed shut, he brushed through his hair, and then started his truck.

He’d just have to wait and see.

———

The end of your shift, you were so giddy.

You couldn’t believe it, you weren’t even sure he was interested, but he had been, and he’s single. Surely, if he gave you his number.

The walk back to your apartment was too nice, but you knew it was because of him.

After he left, you entered the number in your phone quickly, saving it.

You walked up the stairs to your apartment, entering with a heavy mind.

You tried to think of the best time to call him, wondering what his work schedule was like, whether it would be a bad time.

You sighed. It was still relatively early in the day, maybe he’d be home by now?

He’d come in earlier with work attire, you couldn’t help but think that maybe he was on a break.

You have it another hour.

The clock turned to 4:00, then 4:30, and you decided to try.

The phone dialed, ringing in your ear while your heart raced. You felt excitement course through your veins, hoping he’d pick up, that he’d be smiling as much as you were on the other end.

”Hello?”

He’d answered.

“Joel?”

“That’s me,” you could hear him breathe out a light laugh.

“Hello,” your voice unwavering save for a slight laugh you stifled.

“Now, why’re you laughin’ at me?” Joel questioned, but you could tell he was happy, he was enjoying this. It made you laugh a bit more.

“Darlin’ use your words, I’d feel less stupid that way,” he remarked, and god, his voice was driving you crazy.

The small warmth you’d felt from that word, you found yourself smiling so much it hurt.

“Alright, alright,” you said, feeling your face flush, your hand your cheek. “How about this; how was your day?”

He hummed, as if deep in thought.

“Mornin’ was great, my afternoon wasn’t the same,” he said.

You sat back on your couch, thinking of the way his eyes gleamed with determination earlier, how frantically he’d written down his number, trying to make sure you’d get it in time. Like he was afraid he’d lose you.

“Is that right?” You asked, knowing the answer.

“That’s right,” he continued. His drawl seemed more prominent through the phone, though it was even better in person.

“Had real good morning. Best in a long while.”

“Hmm, wonder why,” you replied. You busied one hand with the hem of your shirt, picking at the loose strings.

“Thinkin’ maybe it was ‘cause of the nice cup of coffee I had,” he then said, and you rolled your eyes with a huge grin.

“Probably cause it was made so well,” you countered.

“Could be,” he said causally. “Or I just really like coffee,”

“Oh, ha ha,” you said. His humor, his teasing, it was overwhelming, but it was the most comfortable you’d felt with someone in a long while.

Talking with him felt so easy, so carefree. His voice was gentle, a soft reminder of what you could’ve had, what you should’ve had. No one had come remotely close to the calm in his voice, he never tried to undermine yours. When you spoke, it was like he was granted with the opportunity to listen, and he never took advantage of it.

God, he shouldn’t make you feel such a way.

“Oh, listen,” he said suddenly, pulling you out of your thoughts. “Gonna be gone for about a week, out of town.”

You felt your heart deflate a bit, a you sense of sadness and disappointment all at once, but tried not to let it show.

“Oh, alright,” you said, and cleared your throat. “It’ll be strange not seeing a homeless guy walk in for coffee.”

He laughed. “Homeless, huh,” he said. “That’s a new one.”

You smiled despite the news. “Figured you get called old enough.”

“That’s true,” he sighed. “Not that old, though.”

You hummed. “You’re right, what are you, forty-five?”

He groaned. “Alright, now I’m thinkin’ this trip won’t be so bad, between you and Sarah.”

You couldn’t help the teasing, it felt so right.

“I’m a bit more than ten years younger than that, by the way,” he remarked, just in case you’d been curious.

“That makes me about a few years younger than you,” you replied. “You really are old.”

It made him laugh.

“You’ll have plenty more of that when you get back.”

“Oh, don’t I know it,” he sighed.

He then seemed to pause for second, and you waited.

“I���ll still call, though.”

You were surprised, and it must’ve been obvious.

“That is, if you’re okay with that,” he quickly reiterated.

“Yeah, of course,” you reassured, suddenly looking forward to the upcoming late night calls and check-ins.

“Don’t be a stranger.”

[noxsspace]

“don’t be a stranger” will be updated today!!

[noxsspace]

- rest stop

Joel miller x Fem!reader

Request- Hiiiii. You one write a fic of reader x Tess trying to be quiet even travelling with joel and Ellie. And I was wondering would you do something like that with reader and Joel. But also make it car smex 👀👀 maybe when they’re camping out in the woods and Ellie’s asleep but Joel and reader get busy in the truck they take from Bill? Please

A/N- long time now post huh! This is my first time writing Joel. Which is wild after being in the fandom so long and because I really wanna fuck that old man . But the Joel x reader girlies scare me a bit lmao ( why are so many of you children? ) anyways. So this is my first attempt at Joel and kinda became like if you put Troy’s Joel and Pedros Joel in a blender. And it spit out this Joel. My Joel. Enjoy.

Warnings- 18+ MDNI || implied age gap( reader is mentioned to be born pre outbreak and was too young to drive pre outbreak too. Making reader at bare minimum 20 years old ), smut: car sex, unprotected p in v, fingering ( reader receiving ) prawn with a bit of plot. ( wc- 5.3k )

AO3 | Masterlist

“- if tanks were so damn useful why would they just abandon them on the road like this? Oh right probably for road blocks right? I heard they used cars and trucks to block people trying to leave cities and towns but wouldn’t that just make things worse? I think- “

Ellie had been yapping for the better part of 2 hours. You didn’t know how she constantly had something to talk about. It was as if she could link any subject to something else with just a beat. One moment be discussing the comic she’d stolen from Bills and then somehow end up on a 45 minute tangent about tanks. 

You’d all been driving most of the day and she’d been talking the majority of it. The only silence had been when she’d given into sleep for a couple hours around lunch time, but woken up and gone straight back to it. It was fascinating to you how much she’d opened up in a short space of time. 

Joel looked ready to screw up his other ear too to fully drown her out at this rate. His hands grasping the steering wheel so hard his bruised knuckles were blanching. You felt a little bad for him, he truly was getting the brunt of it after you’d let Ellie take the front seat. She’d been so excited about being in a car and so you’d let her claim the front seat for a while. 

You’d gotten quite the glare from Joel for that. 

“ - I think if I had a car I’d like one like this. Like a truck. You know? You can fit more stuff in it. Hey, did you have a car?” Ellie’s head popped around the car seat to look at you in the back with a bright smile on her face 

“ no Ellie. My dad had a busted up work van but that was about it. I wasn’t old enough to drive. Joel was though, weren’t you Joel? “ you smiled and she laughed at that 

“ right. Did you have a truck? You must’ve cause-“ Joel caught your eye in the rear view mirror, a mildly pissed expression on his face at you directing the conversation right back onto him. You just gave him a wink and went back to flicking through one of the magazines you’d stolen from Frank's pile back in Lincoln- which were thankfully far more PG than the ones Ellie had found belonging to Bill. All ancient gossip magazines, celebrities having their red carpet looks ripped to shreds. It made you smile a little to try to imagine any of them now. Was there a clicker stumbling around in shredded haute couture? 

After another 30 minutes or so Joel seemed to have finally reached his daily limit of Ellie’s roadside ramblings and declared it was time to stop for the night. 

“ alright. That’s it for today. Goddamn kid “ he grumbled and slowed down a little as he turned off the highway and through a bumpy field- that Ellie found highly amusing as she jostled in her seat- and into a stretch of woods. Thankfully the trees were wide enough for him to manoeuvre Bills ancient Chevy deep enough in that it couldn’t be spotted from the road. Not that you expected anyone else had a damn car this far out from a QZ these days. 

And after an equally talkative dinner of long expired tinned ravioli, in which Joel tried and failed to teach Ellie some table manners like the true southern gent he seemed to be deep deep down. You all set up and settled in for the night. 

You were used to sleeping on the ground. 

Whether that was from the weeks it had been since leaving Boston. Or from the times you, Joel and Tess had travelled your ways over to Bill and Franks. Hell even your bed back in the zone may as well have been the ground with how fucking uncomfortable it was. 

But for some reason you just couldn’t drift off tonight. 

Ellie had had no trouble once Joel had promised her they’d be safe out here. She was flat out in her sleeping bag, mouth hanging open, snoring softly. You’d think the kid was in a luxury hotel, not a musty sleeping bag on the forest floor. 

You looked up at the dark night sky above you, the trees blocking out the majority of the view. It was a little spooky, just like Ellie had secretly whispered when you’d all been settling down to sleep. 

You turned your head, trying to locate Joel. He’d insisted on there being a watch. You thought it was pointless, you were all out in the middle of nowhere. No where close to any towns or cities that a group of raiders could have set up camp in. There’d be no infected out this way either. But he’d been his usual stubborn self and declared they needed a watch. And he’d go first. Of course. Because that meant he could stay up all right and ‘forget’ to switch with you. 

Stubborn bastard through and through. 

And so there he was now, sat up in the truck. 

He had one of the camping lanterns he’d taken from Bill propped on the dash, softly illuminating the space so he could see what he was doing. His face stern in concentration as he tapped the end of a pencil against his scruff covered chin. 

He was taking this job seriously for a man that didn’t want to do it. 

But Tess had always been the driving force in your little trio. She was the brains. You were more often than not the distraction. And Joel the braun. It had worked so well. Until well… it hadn’t. And Joel respected Tess enough to fulfil her dying wish. 

Even if that was taking this random kid half way across the damn country chasing a lead so half cooked it was basically raw. 

You watched him for a while longer. How handsome he looked in the dim lamp light. The frown lines that seemed permanently engraved into his face, the way his brows furrowed as he concentrated - creating the little wrinkles in between

You missed kissing those lines. Tracing your fingers over them in the half lit apartment you’d shared in Boston, close enough to the outside wall that there was a constant chunk of light from the watchtowers seeping through the half destroyed curtains. 

God you missed him. Curling up to him for warmth. His large hands tracing soft patterns on your back, whispering lowly in your ear when you woke up from a nightmare. 

He’d never been one for PDA. And then with the whole… Tess thing. And Bill and Frank thing. And well… everything. He had barely touched you since that morning before you’d ended up with the kid. And that was weeks ago. 

Maybe it was a little silly. In the space of a few weeks you’d lost three friends. Gained a kid. Gained a whole fuck load of responsibility for said kid… and yet here you were lusting over Joel in your sleeping bag? Stupid. 

Or… maybe not. Maybe it was… what was needed. A distraction. Something good in the shitty shit pile you’d found yourself in. 

Well that’s what you told yourself anyway as you double checked Ellie was still snoring. And climbed out of your sleeping bag. 

You pulled open the passenger side door of the truck, climbing up into the seat and closing the door carefully behind you. Joel had the map spread out on the dash in front of him, flask of coffee in one hand and a pencil in the other. Because coffee had been dubbed very important in the ‘ only grab the essentials ‘ talk before they’d left Lincoln. Obviously. 

“ ain’t your turn for watch yet darlin’ “ he mumbled, not looking up from the map. It had a bunch of scribbles and arrows. Clearly his nonsensical version of directions that you would no doubt have to try figure out tomorrow. It also seemed like Ellie had gotten a hold of the pencil at some point, some of the areas Joel had crossed off as suspecting to be total no goes in terms of infected, now had little monster faces scribbled beside them. 

“ I know. Can’t sleep “ you said as you slumped back in the seat and glanced back out towards Ellie. Still out like a light, the little camping lamp by her feet casting a soft glow over their makeshift camp. 

He hummed a response. Setting his flask into the drinks holder and letting his hand drop absentmindedly onto your thigh instead. 

“ Tryna figure out the quickest route from here to Cody but… most of these highways here will probably be blocked off from way back when “ he pointed with the pencil at some of his scribbles and lines. “ some of these smaller towns might not be so bad for bunking down for a night but can’t be too sure. Close to highways. Good for raiders “ 

And he’d know all about that wouldn’t he

You’d joined the little group heading for Boston right at the last hurdle. Had only partook in one or two raids. You were young. Pretty. They’d throw you out as a distraction to lure people in and the others did the most of the dirty work. But you’d heard the stories. And you’d been around Tess and Joel long enough to know what they were capable of. What you were capable of now too. 

“ sooo… that way?” You asked, pointing at what seemed to be his planned route for now. But if you were honest. You weren’t focussing on the map at all. Or what he was talking about 

“ what? No. That’s a no go. Absolutely fuckin not. Look here- “ his thumb started rubbing soft circles into your jean covered thigh and it was like an off switch had flipped on your ears. Not taking in a single word he was saying to you. Not when he was touching you for the first time in weeks. Even if it was just a tiny pathetic thing like that. 

It made your mind drift. Memories of his lips right there. The soft tickle and burn his scruff would cause as he kissed your skin. It made your pussy throb just thinking about it. 

“ - there’s likely to be infected here. And here. Which leads us with no choice but to head up here to KC. But big city like that was probably locked down, ain’t really heard much on it so I don’t know if it’s even still an active quar- you even listenin?” His hand squeezed your thigh softly and you cleared your throat blinking quickly 

“ what? Sure I’m. I’m listening. Ugh KC. KC. Kansas city?” 

“ lucky guess “ he grumbled and let his eyes drift back to his map “ why don’t you try get some sleep?” 

His hand was still on your thigh, his thumb back to rubbing soft circles. God how was something so tiny making you want to scream?

“ not even tired “

You closed your eyes a moment letting out a slow, deep exhale. Get it together you idiot. 

But Joel knew you well. Knew your body well. And you didn’t have to open your eyes to see the smirk on his face when he spoke again 

“ oh. I see how it is baby girl “ you wanted to scoff. Or scowl. Or tell him maybe he should get some sleep because clearly he was imagining things. But then his hand moved up. Deft fingers unbuttoning your jeans and pulling down the fly. 

He really could read you like a damn book couldn’t he?

 “ this the real reason you came in here huh?” He murmured as his thick fingers slipped through your slick folds, dragging the slippery mess you were making up to your clit. 

Your eyes fluttered closed for a moment, your head tipping back against the worn leather of the seats headrest “ asked you a question there babygirl “ 

You whined in response. How could you possibly form a solid thought- never mind a sentence- when his finger was working at your clit like that. Slow but purposeful circles that were making your legs feel like jelly already. 

God you were pathetic. A couple weeks without his cock and this is what it was doing to you? 

“ so what if it was?” You whispered, your hips involuntarily rocking up against his hand. 

Even just the slightest touches from him made you want to cry out in a mixture of frustration and pleasure. Like there was an open nerve, exposed and raw, and his focussed touch sent sparks shooting up your spine. 

“ naughty little thing “ he murmured as he kept working at you with his thick fingers, wrestling the the tight constraints of your jeans to try get his hand in a little more “ tell me what y’need “ 

“ you “ you whined without a moment’s hesitation “ you Joel you “ 

He was always such a smug bastard. The smirk on his face at your response made you want to jump right out of the car just to piss him off. But you didn’t have the self control for that. Not even remotely. Especially when you had his fingers pressing at your entrance like that, the muscles already contracting as if trying to pull him in. 

But two could play that game. 

You reached over and flicked off the lantern. The last thing you needed was this being visible if Ellie woke up. And then your hand moved over to his half hard cock starting to tent his jeans. 

He gave a soft grunt of a sound as you palmed at him through the worn denim. 

“ acting like you’re not in the mood for it too old man?” You whispered, already a little breathless just from his fingers. 

He doesn’t answer you with words. But one of his fingers pushed into your welcoming warmth, making you gasp and your eyes flutter closed for a moment 

“ look at that “ he murmured as he carefully added a second with a slightly embarrassing amount of ease “ suckin me in so tight… tryna keep me right here doll? Right here?” your soft velvety walls squeeze around him in answer. Desperate for anything after weeks of absolutely nothing. 

Everything about Joel was so big. You were damn sure not a single other person could make you feel this good with their fingers alone. Your own fingers never even made a dent in the sensations he gave you. Your cunt stretching around his digits almost obscenely. Gripping onto him in a way that was down right pathetic. 

“ there y’are. Relax f’me sweet pea “ he mutters, feeling you open up more as warm waves of pleasure washed over your body. The space inside you welcoming him back home after so long without him “ good girl, open up f’me… there we go “ 

Your hand was still idly palming at his crotch, but god damn was it hard to focus when he was speaking to you like that. Touching you like that. 

Your free hand grasped onto his arm as he kept steadily fucking you open with his fingers, soft sopping sounds filling the truck in a way that made you whimper softly. The tendons and muscles in his arm flexing under your finger tips with every purposeful curl of his fingers. 

“ Joel “ 

“ I know baby I know “ he crooned “ gonna come on my fingers? “ you nodded eagerly, writhing around in the seat, eyes closed as you focused on how good he was making you feel and nothing else. Not even embarrassed at how fast he’d gotten you to the edge. You’d been lusting after him for two weeks without getting anything, so you weren’t much surprised.  

“ y-yeah. Gonna come for you Joel “ you whispered as his fingers curled up, his thumb pressing against your clit. It made a choked sound escape you in some hopeless attempt to keep your volume levels down. “ fuck- Joel “

“ shh shhh nice and quiet. Don’t need ya wakin the kid before I’ve even had you on my cock sweet pea “ the half promise of finally getting something more than his fingers was enough to spur you on. To have your hips rocking up to meet the pumping motions of his fingers. Just enough to have you tumbling over the edge. 

Your fingers digging into the tanned skin of his arm as you bit down on your bottom lip, back arching off the worn leather as your orgasm washed over you in a powerful, blissful wave. Trying as hard as you possibly could to be quiet. But some soft squeaks and whines slipped out your throat anyway “Joel”

“ there we go. That’s my good girl. Nice and quiet “ he murmured as he worked you through it, pumping his fingers in and out as best he could with your jeans still on “ makin a fuckin mess of my hand. Reckon I ain’t ever see you this wet “ he teased as he gently brought his hand to a stop when your death grip on his wrist released. Little crescent shaped marks left in place of your fingers. 

“ fuck you miller “ you panted softly which made him chuckle. That deep rumble of a sound that often sounded more sarcastic than joyful. But you could usually drag some kind of joy out of him. Usually. 

“ I do plan on it babygirl “ he smirked as he pulled his hand free, his fingers soaked up to the knuckle. The shiny sticky mess catching on the thin chunk of moonlight making its way through the trees and into the truck. 

Maybe he had been right. Smug bastard. 

You watched him with half lidded eyes still catching your breath, as he sucked them clean. It made your blood boil hot, your cunt clench around nothing. Missing those magic fingers of his deep inside you already.  

“ missed your sweet taste babygirl “ 

oh the things you’d do to have him between your thighs right now. That familiar sensation of friction burn from his beard, his strong hands keeping your thighs spread. Refusing to let you close them until he’d made you come on his face multiple times. Not stopping until your were a shaking sobbing mess. 

But that would have to wait for Jackson.  

Your hand still laid idle on his now clearly fully hard cock in his jeans and a gentle squeeze of your fingers made him grunt. 

“ get over here. Now “ he muttered, you didn’t need to be told twice. 

It was not even remotely as easy or sexy as the books you read made it out to be. In fact it was damn right awkward. Wrestling your jeans off in the small space, especially when you were still trembling just a little. Clambering your way onto his lap as he wrestled with the stiff seat lever to try shove it back and give him more space.  

“ goddamn piece of shit Chevy “ Joel huffed and finally managed to get the seat to shift back a little. It was only a couple inches extra room. But it was better than nothing. 

Now wasn’t particularly the best time- or place- for making it last or wasting anymore time on foreplay. So you settled in his lap and immediately reached for his belt, tugging it open. 

“ aw. Come in your pants old man?” You grinned as you unbuttoned his jeans, noticing a small damp spot on his boxers. Clearly only pre come. But you’d never miss an opportunity to call him old. 

“ shut up, brat “ he grumbled, grasping your hips and squeezing in a silent request to lift up. Right. You were in kind of a rush here. Ellie could decide to wake up at any minute. And you weren’t in the mood to be interrupted.  

You lifted your hips as he wrapped a hand around his leaking cock, gently rubbing the tip back and forth between your slick folds. The action making your breath hitch a little, still so sensitive “ you want it?” He murmured, coating himself in your wetness, occasionally notching himself at your entrance for just a second before moving again “ tell me. Tell me how bad this pretty little pussy wants it “ 

“ god Joel “ you whispered, pressing your forehead onto his for a moment “ need it so bad. Been thinking about it every damn day “ He just chuckled and stole a kiss before gently nudging his blunt tip to your weeping entrance again. 

“ yeah? This what you need baby?” He said as he gently pushed in, hands tight on your hips to ease you down inch by tantalising inch “ that’s it babygirl let me in... So fuckin wet f’me… “ he murmured, pushing gently against the resistance of your cunt. Shushing you softly when a sweet whimper escaped your lips as he slipped in deeper and deeper “ shit you’re always so goddamn tight f’me “ 

Your lips part in a steady exhale as he eases his way in, stretching out your soft warm walls as your body welcomes him back home. Settling into the space inside you like it was carved out exactly for him, made for him. Maybe it was. 

He fit with you so perfectly. Your hips flush as his tip kissed your cervix in a way that would’ve been painful if he was even a half inch bigger. It was truly the most perfect fit. 

“ y’okay?” He murmured because sure Joel liked to fuck you like an animal in heat most of the time. But he was nothing if not a gentleman when it came to consent. 

Southern charm and all that. 

“ Hell yeah “ you whisper with a soft laugh that makes him chuckle as you wriggle your hips a little, reminding yourself how incredible it felt to have the thick weight of him inside you again “ missed this. Missed you “

“ missed my cock more like babygirl “

“ it’s one and the same “ 

“ maybe “ he scoffed and rubbed gentle circles onto your hips with his thumbs as he let you adjust as long as you needed. Sitting there completely stuffed full, the pressure almost overwhelming at first. 

You start to move after a few moments, your hands resting on his shoulders for leverage as you push yourself up and down on his cock, building a painstakingly slow rhythm. You had to take it slow. No matter how many times you’d fucked him it always took you a minute to get used to him again. 

You could tell he wanted more. In an ideal world he’d have you bent over the hood of the truck hammering into you like his life depended on it. One hand yanking your hair the other squeezing your hip. Or pinning your hands behind your back if he was feeling like being a real dick. 

But this wasn’t an ideal world. So he’d take what you could give him. And he wasn’t a total bastard. He knew you needed to take it at your own pace right now. So he’d let you. 

“ that’s my girl. Take it easy “ he murmured, his breath warm on your face, your lips just a few inches apart “ look how pretty you look takin my cock like that “ he brushes his thumb across your bottom lip for a moment before he pulls you to his mouth, your lips pressing together hungrily in a eager kiss. He swallows your soft whines and moans “ nice and easy doll. Nice and easy. Quiet f’me “ he murmured against your lips, pressing more soft but determined pecks between his words 

Once you were reacquainted with his cock stretching out your cunt just right. You gave him a small nod and shifted in his lap to let him take over. And your thighs were already starting to burn from the awkward angle

“ made for me ain’t you baby? “ he grunted as if reading your mind. Feeling the way his cock fit inside you so perfectly. Each careful rise and fall of your body letting you feel every ridge. Every vein. Rubbing against your insides in the most delicious way. “ just f’me “

“ yes Joel “ you nodded because truly you felt you were. He’d ruined you for life. You were damn certain no other man could compare. No other man could make you feel this way. 

“ that’s my good girl, takin it so well f’me “ his hands still grasped the plush flesh of your hips, letting you go at your own pace. For now anyway 

“ i miss our shitty bed “ you whispered breathlessly into his neck, you hands grasping his shoulders as he lazily started to fuck up into you, keeping your pace but helping you out just a little. And unable to control himself. Still keeping it slow, probably more on account of the fact you were useless at being quiet. And Ellie was only a few feet away “ a roof over our head “

“ I know baby girl “ he grunted giving you another squeeze “ second we find Tommy I’m takin you to the closet fuckin bed I can find “ at least he was still being optimistic that Tommy might still be in the settlement he’d mentioned exactly once before going radio silent. 

A bed sure did sound nice though. 

You missed lazy morning sex when he’d wake you up with his hand rubbing you through your underwear and his morning wood poking your back. Or having your body damn near folded in half as he pounded into you so hard your brain turned to utter mush, legs hooked over his shoulders like a rag doll. 

“ promises promises old man “ you whispered, shifting in his lap so that your clit brushed the soft thatch of hair at his base in the most delicious way “ shit “

“ that’s it baby girl. Take what ya need “ you rocked your hips, your slick making his curls sticky and warm. He met your pace, sensing your growing desperation, thrusting up into you quicker. Harder. You looked down at where your body’s joined, the way your pussy lips spread obscenely around his thick length. A hint of creamy whiteness starting to stick to his greying curls, more than likely the evidence of your first orgasm. 

“ y’like that huh baby?” He murmured as he caught you watching, that stupid fucking smirk on his face again that you could never be certain if you wanted to kiss it off him. Or slap it off him “ lookin at how messy you're bein f’me?”

“ yeah” you panted, squeezing down on him, your walls fluttering around the deep intrusion of him. Gripping him. Sucking him in. 

“ keep doin that shit and I’ll blow right now “ he grunted, making you smile as you squeezed down on him again just for good measure 

“ easy there old man “ 

“ I’ll give you old fuckin man “ he muttered and readjusted his grip on your body, his hands splaying over your hips as he shifted in the seat “ old fuckin man “ he pushed your body down on his cock with more force than before.

Clearly done being patient. 

You gasped loudly, clamping a hand down on your mouth when you realised just how loud you’d been. Desperately grasping at him with your free hand as he used you like a damn fleshlight, his grip on your hips bruising rather than gentle now. 

And god did you hope it’d bruise. 

“ that’s it baby girl. Take it. C’mon it’s what you wanted ain’t it? You been thinkin about this? Layin out there too fuckin horny to even sleep? Ain’t that right?” He’d always had a damn filthy mouth. Always knew exactly how to make your cheeks flame and pussy throb. Which had surprised you at first. For a man so silent and grumpy in public, he sure could get vocal in the bedroom. Or the truck you figured  “ this what you needed? Needed fillin up babygirl?” 

You nodded eagerly, your brows furrowed and eyes closed as his decelerate thrusts knocked every whisp of air out your lungs. Your brain going foggy. Lost in the sensations of his cock stretching you out, hitting the most devastating spot inside you with every thrust of his hips. Every drag of the heavy weight against your sensitive walls, still sparking like a live wire from your first orgasm“ use your words. Tell me “ 

“ god- Joel. “ you could barely form a sentence with him fucking you like that. The truck shaking with the efforts. Creaking softly like a scene from one of those cheap and cheesy 80s movies Joel has shown you before. 

“ c’mon now. Use that pretty mouth of yours. And tell me “ he said firmly. Mockingly. Still slamming you down to meet his deep thrusts 

“ y-yes this is… what I needed “ you panted out, eyes fluttering closed as you clawed at his shoulders , face falling into his neck “ missed you so bad. Missed your cock Joel “ you whined pathetically, muffling your sounds against his skin

“ yeah baby I know “ he whispered, breathless himself “ I know. Needed it so bad huh? Needed this pretty pussy fillin up. I know “ 

His hand slipped down between your bodies and he started working at your clit again. Quick and purposeful movements that matched the rhythm of his ever increasingly frantic thrusts. You were so wet he could barely even find any friction.

“ fuck Joel I’m- “ you moaned loudly against his neck, cutting yourself off as you felt your body growing hotter. The knot deep in your belly getting tighter and tighter 

“ I know sweet pea. Gonna come all over my cock? Yeah? “ he grunted and you knew that tone of voice. That breathless, husky tone. He was just as close as you were “ gonna be a good girl f’me? Can feel you grippin me like a damn vice. Know you need it “

You nodded quickly, nails digging into his shoulders as you struggled more and more to control the sounds slipping past your lips. The sound of your skin hitting his filling the truck, the lewd wet sounds of your cunt sucking him in. Soaking him. The sticky, filthy mess you were making. And then the dam broke. 

The combined sensations of his fingers. His cock. His husky voice in your ear. You were a goner. Biting down on his shoulder to try to dampen some of your whines and squeals of pleasure. Your entire body trembling and twitching in his lap, clamping down on him in a way that clearly was enough for Joel too. 

Because he’d barely pulled you off him when he spilt his load onto your thigh with a deep, sexy moan. The hot sticky mess painting your skin. 

Sometimes you wished he’d finish inside. Fill you to the brim with his load. But the last thing you needed was a goddamn baby. 

The trucks windows had fogged up now. The air in their thick and warm, sweat beading on Joel’s forehead. You looked down to see the hair covering your mound sticky and messy, Joel’s own greying curls exactly the same. You really hoped there was a river or creek somewhere around here. You hadn’t entirely thought about the aftermath. 

Thinking with your pussy and not your brain. Clearly. 

But it was worth it. 

“ well holy shit “ you whispered and laughed a little as you pushed your hair from your own sweaty face “ never let me go that long without you again “ 

Joel raised an eyebrow and then chuckled himself, shaking his head, his hand gently rubbing along your side. So gentle and tender compared to how he’d just been knocking the air out of your lungs. 

“ Whatever you say sweet pea “ he pressed a kiss to your lips. Far too sweet for a man like him, but you’d never complain “ now get your ass back in that sleeping bag and get some sleep “ 

You grinned against his lips and stole another kiss before giving him a mock salute 

“ yes sir “

[noxsspace]

thinking about joel miller

[noxsspace]

how it feels to watch The Last of Us without some fuckass complaining about tiny changes

[noxsspace]

“if you have one of your own i hope you’ll do a little better than me” with “i’m gonna be a dad!” is going to hurt even more by the end of it all

[noxsspace]

i can't do this anymore! i mean i can, and i will, obviously. but i can't fucking do this anymore!