noxsspace

[noxsspace]

how it feels to watch The Last of Us without some fuckass complaining about tiny changes

[noxsspace]

“if you have one of your own i hope you’ll do a little better than me” with “i’m gonna be a dad!” is going to hurt even more by the end of it all

[noxsspace]

i can't do this anymore! i mean i can, and i will, obviously. but i can't fucking do this anymore!

[noxsspace]

Don’t Be a Stranger - Chapter Two

See You Again

chap. summary: You can’t get over your first meeting with Joel—meanwhile, he can’t get over you.

tags: slow burn, coffee shop, Joel is bad at feelings, he attempts to do better tho!!

a/n: woooww this took a while to edit, enjoy!!

chap. list: chapter 1

ao3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/65384158/chapters/168254887

———

Your eyes lingered on him a moment longer while he walked out the door, his coffee in hand.

Coffee. Black. You felt your heart race while remembering how his hand briefly touched yours, how the crease by his eyes were more prominent when he smiled, you wanted him to side again. You wanted him to come back.

People have came and went, flirted with you, said nothing to you, or chatted with you while it was a slow day, but this felt so much more different than any other interaction.

You got back to work, feeling the heat in your face persist.

“You alright?” One of your coworkers asked. “Seems like you’re running hot?”

“Fine, I’m fine,” you reply. “Just hot by all the coffee pots.”

He eyed you, not believing any word you just said, but left it alone.

You took order after order, and when a small break between customers came, you took the opportunity to step outside for some fresh air.

You checked the time on your small watch, counting down the hours unto, your shift ends and you can return to your apartment. Your mind was elsewhere, each moment used in recalling the short moment of you and him.

God, you didn’t even get his name.

You bit your lip, thinking. What if he never came back? Maybe he was passing through. He had worn casual clothes, though, so many he lived around here? You couldn’t recall if he was wearing anything with a name, any sign of his job.

You sighed. You were probably never going to see this man again, and you had to come to terms that you might’ve met the man of your dreams, only to never be seen again.

You swore quietly before stepping back into the shop.

———

Finally. The end of a long shift.

It was 3:30pm. You were thankful to be headed home, after being in the shop since 5:00am. Though you’d have to come back, you didn’t hate your job.

You made a coffee to go, and grabbed your tote bag after removing your apron. A couple of coworkers shared their goodbyes, and you waved with a smile while you parted from the store, stepping outside to walk down the street.

You plugged your headphones into the CD player placed gently in your tote, and made your way through the small city toward your cheap apartment.

You’d been out of school for a few years now, saving up money to move. You dreamed of moving out to the countryside where you could write in peace, making art of the scenery to earn a living. Sure, it wasn’t what you went to school for, but you were passionate about it more than anything.

In fact, being a barista was not the expected outcome either, but you lived it nonetheless.

The coffee shop paid decently, enough for rent in a small single apartment, groceries, sometimes a little trip now and then if you worked extra shifts, but you didn’t mind it much. You made money on the side, selling pieces of art when inspiration hit, though it wasn’t much and you rarely had time for it.

You loved coffee, loved the people that came in and the people you worked with. Each day you made yourself something different, your lunch a sandwich you whipped up with the given ingredients, a desert afterwards every once in a while. You’d made friends with your coworkers and got along nicely, to the point where they felt like the brothers you never had.

You were content.

Sometimes you caught yourself yearning for more, wanting to wake next to someone who loved you, who supported you and talked about anything and everything with you, but it was too frustrating to think about. Especially after the last man that left you in pieces.

It lasted for about a year, an intense loving relationship that you were certain was going to end in marriage, but what sucked about it all is he had the audacity to fuck it up in the worst way possible. You swore off any concept of a relationship or interest in anybody since then.

You shook away the thoughts, focusing on the path in front, and continued on.

Your apartment was clean, and you were determined to keep it that way.

You settled some snacks in the fridge, some stuff you’d taken from the coffee shop.

Putting away your bag and headphones, you immediately sat down at your desk and turned on your computer, waiting while it booted up. You were focused on today’s earlier interaction, so much so, you had to write it down. You had to capture it into words, weave it together to reread the rest of the night. You’d keep it burned into your memory, letting the warmth you’d felt then linger a little while longer.

You typed fast. Each word perfectly recreating the scene, how his dark eyes shone in under the small lamps of the shop, when he looked at you, how they seemed to pull you in and coat you with comfort, with a warm feeling only a blanket had ever made you feel.

His touch was light, you saw his fingers were calloused, his arm toned. He took the cup, said “yes ma��am,” and your heart had fluttered with excitement, not nerves. You weren’t left shaking, wondering if you’d said the right thing, or not. You wondered if this is what characters in books felt, how their meetings seemed so right, almost destined for a reason.

It certainly felt that way, it felt just like something out of a book you’ve read. It made you wanting more, desperate to turn the page to continue the story.

The page was meant with the end of paper, and the computer readied another one—but it was empty, and you realized; that was it.

———

The next day was pleasant; you got there right before 5:00am and readied the display, brewing fresh coffee. No one came in right at open, but that was okay—it gave you time to write in your notebook a bit more. The pages were littered with sketches and prompts, your thoughts written down in scribbles sometimes only you could understand. It was a way to keep your mind fresh and clear. You’d found peace with yourself through writing, letting your thoughts flow on paper or through the computer to where it was almost instinctive in how you pulled out your journal.

6:00am rolled around, and you made yourself a cup, taking a bite of a day old slice of bread to keep your hunger at bay.

You sighed, glancing around the shop, but figured since the place was clean and the tables were ready, you might as well go back to writing. You sat on the counter in the back, legs dangling while your head was down, eyes tracing each sentence.

Without realizing, time flew by—another thirty minutes passed with just a couple pages written.

The bell at the door rang, pulling you out of your thoughts, and you put down the book, pushing off the counter. You sighed, brushing your hands on your apron, reaching the register when you felt yourself freeze.

Your eyes landed on him, and someone else you could only presume to be his daughter. You felt your heart begin to pick up speed, but he didn’t seem to notice you at first. His head was turned, looking at the wall decor, only to snap forward when the girl pointed at something in the display, rushing in excitement to get a better look.

He followed her, and you watched as his lips curled into a shadow of a smile, listening to his daughter.

You bit your lip and walked behind the display.

“Oh, hello, again.”

The minute he looks up, it’s like he’s entranced all over again—his lips part barely, as if surprised, his eyes widen ever so slightly. His hair is a bit less messy this time, where yesterday he seemed tired and rushed, today he was laid back and aware.

“Hello,” you greeted the little girl. “That one’s my favorite,” you said, pointing at the desert that originally caught her attention.

He was still looking at you, and you couldn’t help but smile and laugh.

The girl elbowed his side, whispering what you heard to be ‘Dad’ and he then stuttered quietly before saying ‘Hello’ back.

You found it to be cute. His daughter raised a brow and rolled her eyes for a small second before going back to the food, biting her cheek as if in deep thought.

“So good you had to come back, right?” You found it so easy to tease him, to tug at his strings. It made him shake his head with a smile.

“Damn right,” he replied.

You let them look through the different foods, this time taking in every small detail about him; his dark curly hair, brows that furrowed when thinking, the watch on his hand when he scratched his short beard.

“Uh, we’ll take a couple of these,” he pointed at the display, and you took note of the desert. “And one—“

“Two,” the girl cut him off.

“Sorry—two black coffees.”

She muttered something else at him, something you couldn’t quite catch, but it made him scoff, a noticeable red on his cheeks surface.

You gave him a small wink when he caught your eyes, and you quickly went in the back to start another pot of fresh coffee. You wanted them to have it as soon as it got done, ready with the newest beans you got in store.

Once done, you pull out the freshly made deserts, putting them both in a container for their convenience, and grabbed the coffees while meeting them at the end of the counter.

You wanted this moment to be as long as possible, to make some sort of small talk to know him better and then it hit you—his name.

“Never got your name,” you said casually, setting their stuff down. “I usually know all my regulars.”

He smiled slightly, pausing a moment. You thought maybe you overstepped, you made him uncomfortable or confused, and you felt your heart sink—

“Ah, sorry,” he said, his voice delicate despite his southern drawl. “Joel,” he said, and you felt yourself let go of a breath you’d been holding.

You repeated his name over and over again, as if worried you’ll forget.

“This is Sarah,” he then spoke. “My daughter.”

You gave her a smile, wishing that she enjoyed her coffee and treat, but she seemed more focused on how tangy the coffee tasted because she gave it a funny look after taking a sip.

Your focus went back to him.

You gave him your name, tilting your head as if it would help you look into his mind, his soul, through his eyes. You couldn’t get over them, how much they resembled the coffee you just made.

“See you again soon, Joel,” you said.

You could’ve sworn you’d heard him say “yes ma’am,” right as he left.

———

The rest of your day was a breeze. Each customer was satisfied, you felt happy, and the day ended before you knew it— and it was time to go home. You gathered your stuff and took a sandwich before setting off, the newfound giddiness making the walk home much better than it usually is.

You played your music, the scenario playing over and over, the way he sounded when he said his name.

God, this was not good.

You’d sworn to yourself you’d focus on your own self and your happiness, you’d made a promise that you were determined not to break. Once you were happy on your own, you’d try again. Once you could cope without romance and writing, you’d try again. Once you had yourself forgetting about love, you’d try again.

This was so stupid, such a horrible mistake you could make.

You tried to let the feeling last a little longer, but by the end of the day, you should just let it go.

He was just a customer. Nothing more.

Hell, he brought his daughter in. He must be with someone, right? You don’t remember seeing a ring, but still, you shouldn’t just assume he’s single.

You’re frustrated, your mood is suddenly ruined, but it’s for the best.

This is for the best.

———

“You suck at talking to women,” Sarah said.

Joel sighed, closing his car door and stepping over to the trunk, pulling his stuff out. He had just picked up Sarah from school, and it seems that their coffee run was still fresh in her mind.

“Let’s just go inside,” he muttered. She shrugged, and unlocked the door while he walked up the steps.

The house was a bit dirty, and he remembered he hadn’t cleaned in few days. Now that it was the weekend, he’d have to bring out the vacuum and make the place shine.

Tommy and Maria were coming over, he’s been wanting to introduce his girlfriend for a while now. Joel agreed, figuring listening about other people’s love life would get his mind off his own.

“I’m going upstairs,” Sarah announced. She grabbed the phone off the wall, dialing. Joel assumed it was her friend, Ellie.

He was glad Sarah had friends, though from what he heard, this one was nothing but trouble. But still, what kind of trouble could a kid possibly get into? It’s not like she was in a gang or delinquent of some sort.

At least, he hoped.

He set his box in the closet and figured he might as well start now, so he brought out his cleaning supplies. He’d let Sarah do the cooking. He told her earlier just to get plain hot dogs started an hour or so before they show up, Tommy was supposedly bringing a salad and something else he couldn’t quite remember.

Taking a bit of time to clean today was less he’d have to do tomorrow.

Friday night was always his favorite kind of night anyway. Just getting off the work week and knowing he had all the time at night to then sleep half the day on Saturday—what more could he ask for?

He worked on the living room floor for a little while, finding himself lost in thought while the noise of the vacuum drowned him deeper into the earlier conversation.

His name rolled off your tongue so easily, he wanted to hear it again. He wanted to hear your laughter after he says something stupid, he wanted to feel how your hand would fit in his.

What was he doing.

He turned off the vacuum and brushed his fingers through his hair, inhaling deeply. If he couldn’t keep his mind off you, what else could he do?

He moved on to another room, double checking clothes and miscellaneous items were picked up. Room by room, his house would be clean.

He ended in the kitchen, attention caught to the coffee cup from the day before. He cursed, throwing it in the trash.

If this was how he was going to act, he had to stop going, but he knew he couldn’t do that.

He last left with a promise of return dropping from his lips, there was no way he’d back down now.

He’d indulge.

He remembers the hours on the sign, recalling the opening time for tomorrow, and made it a mission to set off right when the doors would open.

———

Joel wasn’t able to sleep well. He got up and got himself ready, putting a bit more care into his appearance than usual, and headed downstairs.

He scribbled a note and put it on the counter for Sarah, saying he’d be back with breakfast, just in case she’d wake up before he got back. He didn’t want to wake her, and Saturday seemed to be one of the only days the day the kid really slept.

He grabbed his jacket—it was starting to get cold outside. Fall was the best time of year, the ideal weather for just about anything.

He started his truck and drove off.

He really hoped he’d be the first one there, that way there’d be no distractions, no worries of a line behind him.

He’s not the first one here this time, a couple other people just walked in before he did, and he felt his heart sink when he realized she wasn’t there.

She wasn’t there.

Another employee was running the counter, while someone else brewed coffee. He thought about walking out, but he’d promised to be back with breakfast—and he truly didn’t mind the coffee here.

Though, he was worried how different it would taste, coming from someone else.

When the line moved up, he ended up ordering the same as yesterday, hoping Sarah would be happy with that.

He felt disappointed, standing close to window while thinking about her. He was so certain she’d be here today, his heart chased after the idea. He got himself up early, it was now after five. Instinctively, he checked his watch, but closed his eyes and then looked around to search for a clock.

5:30am. Maybe he was too early? But then again, he hadn’t seen the other two employees that day.

He rested his hand on the counter, more weight on one leg while his eyes focused on the dim streetlights outside. Sun wasn’t even up, wouldn’t be for a while.

He was ripped away from his thoughts when the employee came up behind him, announcing his order. He turned around and looked down.

Two coffees, two deserts.

“She’ll like those, sir!” The employee said, pointing at the desert. He was about to ask him what he meant but then it occurred to him—he looked a bit cleaner, dressed to the nines with his hair slicked back and his best flannel unbuttoned with a black shirt beneath.

“Oh, ‘s for my daughter,” he replied. The employee, albeit confused, apologized, but was still cheerful all the same.

Joel gave him a slight nod, but then thought of something.

He took a shot; he asked when shed be in, letting the name hang loosely while the guy registered who it was. He gave him a raised brow, confusion—or maybe thinking he was after her, though he hoped to god that he didn’t think that was the case.

“Not on the weekends, but just about every day during the week,” he replied. The guy looked him up and down, a bit weary. “Why, you friends with her?”

Joel felt his face blush.

“Uh, just enjoyed chatting with her last time,” he responded, looking down for a split second. The worker hummed in response, a smirk creeping across his face.

Get it together, Joel thought, worried he’d blow it. He wasn’t sure how well he came off as a good person, and is something he struggles with because of his demeanor and accent.

“Check back Monday,” the guy then said, giving him a smile, and then nodded at the food.

“Enjoy!”

———

Joel returned home, Sarah was still asleep.

He sighed.

He thinks about going back to bed, resting his head and closing his eyes—but he was already dressed, hell, he was ready for the gathering twelve hours early.

He puts the deserts in the fridge instead, realizing Sarah’s coffee would get cold by the time she woke up, but figured he might as well drink them both. It’s not like she really enjoyed it anyways.

He sat on the couch and turned on the TV, mindlessly watching the news, flipping through channels every now and then. He just needed a good distraction until he could see her Monday.

The get together is pleasant. Tommy introduces Maria, a nice woman that knows how to keep Tommy in line. It’s amazing, he listens to everything she says without remarks.

He must truly be head-over-heels.

The dinner is nice, Sarah cooked the hot dogs before they arrived so they could eat right away. Tommy got to asking Sarah about school, and Sarah gave him the details about her friends, her school work, everything.

It was good.

This is good.

Until it wasn’t.

“Dad’s met a girl,” Sarah brings up, and Joel almost chokes on his food.

The room goes quiet and Tommy gives him a look, that look.

“Well I’ll be!” He exclaims. “Tell me everything.”

“Nothin’ to tell, no girl,” Joel said firmly, and then gave Sarah a glare. She rolled her eyes.

“If Sarah’s sayin’ this much about your love life, it must be true.” Tommy said. He waited for more, he was practically on the edge of his seat, the most excited he’d been for him in a long while. Maria raised a brow at him, which then made him fall silent. He shrugged at her instead while she rolled her eyes.

“There’s no girl,” Joel affirms, sitting back with his arms crossed. “Just cause I see someone pretty doesn’t mean she’s anything more.”

He pointed a finger at Sarah.

“And you need to butt out.”

Sarah pouted a bit, and went back to eating. He could tell she wanted to say more, there was so much more to tell, from visiting the shop when they opened to chasing the early morning in order to see her, but there was no more that should be said.

Tommy could tell that he struck a nerve, and left it at that, but the smile never left his face.

———

After their gathering, they said their goodbyes, Tommy telling Joel to call him, Joel telling him he did good finding a woman that kept him on a leash, someone who could knock some sense into him every now and then.

Overall, a nice night. Helped keep his mind off her until Sarah brought her up, but the food was good and the company being his family was much needed, after not seeing his brother for a bit.

Finally, the night has come, and he decides to clean up tomorrow, and instead goes upstairs to shower.

The heavy water drops on his bare back, and he’s become absorbed in the heat, relaxing while the steam clouded the bathroom. He could still smell a bit of coffee, wafting through his head whenever he thought of her, of earlier.

He wondered if she tasted like coffee.

Afterwards, he brushed his teeth and laid in bed, contemplating on continuing a book he began reading a couple days ago, but was so exhausted he stared up at the ceiling instead. In the dark, he could make out some of the small cracks covered with caulk and paint, before letting his eyelids close with a deep sigh.

He dreamt of her, of the first time they met, and days after. He dreamt of him with her, walking and talking about anything and everything, his heart felt so full. He dreamt of her eyes, the whole world within them, and her lips, which turned out to be soft when he planted his own on them.

She was heaven in a human, she was kindness itself.

A smile that broke the kiss apart, except it wasn’t her smiling.

She frowned, confused, and pushed him away, saying it could never work, saying that it wasn’t right, and they never will be.

His arm raised and his hand reached for hers, only for her to disappear.

It felt cruel, like his heart was ripped out of his chest, he felt empty and bare, a hole inside with pieces that couldn’t be put back in.

Joel woke, startled, clutching his chest with his shirt tight under his fingers. He glanced around his dark room, and reached over to pull the string on his lamp. It lit the nightstand and upper half of his bed, and he tried to breathe.

Deep breath in.

He had to get a hold of himself, this was stupid.

He sat back with his hand on his forehead.

Exhale.

What the hell was he going to do?

[noxsspace]

Don’t Be a Stranger - Chapter Two

See You Again

chap. summary: You can’t get over your first meeting with Joel—meanwhile, he can’t get over you.

tags: slow burn, coffee shop, Joel is bad at feelings, he attempts to do better tho!!

a/n: woooww this took a while to edit, enjoy!!

chap. list: chapter 1

ao3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/65384158/chapters/168254887

———

Your eyes lingered on him a moment longer while he walked out the door, his coffee in hand.

Coffee. Black. You felt your heart race while remembering how his hand briefly touched yours, how the crease by his eyes were more prominent when he smiled, you wanted him to side again. You wanted him to come back.

People have came and went, flirted with you, said nothing to you, or chatted with you while it was a slow day, but this felt so much more different than any other interaction.

You got back to work, feeling the heat in your face persist.

“You alright?” One of your coworkers asked. “Seems like you’re running hot?”

“Fine, I’m fine,” you reply. “Just hot by all the coffee pots.”

He eyed you, not believing any word you just said, but left it alone.

You took order after order, and when a small break between customers came, you took the opportunity to step outside for some fresh air.

You checked the time on your small watch, counting down the hours unto, your shift ends and you can return to your apartment. Your mind was elsewhere, each moment used in recalling the short moment of you and him.

God, you didn’t even get his name.

You bit your lip, thinking. What if he never came back? Maybe he was passing through. He had worn casual clothes, though, so many he lived around here? You couldn’t recall if he was wearing anything with a name, any sign of his job.

You sighed. You were probably never going to see this man again, and you had to come to terms that you might’ve met the man of your dreams, only to never be seen again.

You swore quietly before stepping back into the shop.

———

Finally. The end of a long shift.

It was 3:30pm. You were thankful to be headed home, after being in the shop since 5:00am. Though you’d have to come back, you didn’t hate your job.

You made a coffee to go, and grabbed your tote bag after removing your apron. A couple of coworkers shared their goodbyes, and you waved with a smile while you parted from the store, stepping outside to walk down the street.

You plugged your headphones into the CD player placed gently in your tote, and made your way through the small city toward your cheap apartment.

You’d been out of school for a few years now, saving up money to move. You dreamed of moving out to the countryside where you could write in peace, making art of the scenery to earn a living. Sure, it wasn’t what you went to school for, but you were passionate about it more than anything.

In fact, being a barista was not the expected outcome either, but you lived it nonetheless.

The coffee shop paid decently, enough for rent in a small single apartment, groceries, sometimes a little trip now and then if you worked extra shifts, but you didn’t mind it much. You made money on the side, selling pieces of art when inspiration hit, though it wasn’t much and you rarely had time for it.

You loved coffee, loved the people that came in and the people you worked with. Each day you made yourself something different, your lunch a sandwich you whipped up with the given ingredients, a desert afterwards every once in a while. You’d made friends with your coworkers and got along nicely, to the point where they felt like the brothers you never had.

You were content.

Sometimes you caught yourself yearning for more, wanting to wake next to someone who loved you, who supported you and talked about anything and everything with you, but it was too frustrating to think about. Especially after the last man that left you in pieces.

It lasted for about a year, an intense loving relationship that you were certain was going to end in marriage, but what sucked about it all is he had the audacity to fuck it up in the worst way possible. You swore off any concept of a relationship or interest in anybody since then.

You shook away the thoughts, focusing on the path in front, and continued on.

Your apartment was clean, and you were determined to keep it that way.

You settled some snacks in the fridge, some stuff you’d taken from the coffee shop.

Putting away your bag and headphones, you immediately sat down at your desk and turned on your computer, waiting while it booted up. You were focused on today’s earlier interaction, so much so, you had to write it down. You had to capture it into words, weave it together to reread the rest of the night. You’d keep it burned into your memory, letting the warmth you’d felt then linger a little while longer.

You typed fast. Each word perfectly recreating the scene, how his dark eyes shone in under the small lamps of the shop, when he looked at you, how they seemed to pull you in and coat you with comfort, with a warm feeling only a blanket had ever made you feel.

His touch was light, you saw his fingers were calloused, his arm toned. He took the cup, said “yes ma’am,” and your heart had fluttered with excitement, not nerves. You weren’t left shaking, wondering if you’d said the right thing, or not. You wondered if this is what characters in books felt, how their meetings seemed so right, almost destined for a reason.

It certainly felt that way, it felt just like something out of a book you’ve read. It made you wanting more, desperate to turn the page to continue the story.

The page was meant with the end of paper, and the computer readied another one—but it was empty, and you realized; that was it.

———

The next day was pleasant; you got there right before 5:00am and readied the display, brewing fresh coffee. No one came in right at open, but that was okay—it gave you time to write in your notebook a bit more. The pages were littered with sketches and prompts, your thoughts written down in scribbles sometimes only you could understand. It was a way to keep your mind fresh and clear. You’d found peace with yourself through writing, letting your thoughts flow on paper or through the computer to where it was almost instinctive in how you pulled out your journal.

6:00am rolled around, and you made yourself a cup, taking a bite of a day old slice of bread to keep your hunger at bay.

You sighed, glancing around the shop, but figured since the place was clean and the tables were ready, you might as well go back to writing. You sat on the counter in the back, legs dangling while your head was down, eyes tracing each sentence.

Without realizing, time flew by—another thirty minutes passed with just a couple pages written.

The bell at the door rang, pulling you out of your thoughts, and you put down the book, pushing off the counter. You sighed, brushing your hands on your apron, reaching the register when you felt yourself freeze.

Your eyes landed on him, and someone else you could only presume to be his daughter. You felt your heart begin to pick up speed, but he didn’t seem to notice you at first. His head was turned, looking at the wall decor, only to snap forward when the girl pointed at something in the display, rushing in excitement to get a better look.

He followed her, and you watched as his lips curled into a shadow of a smile, listening to his daughter.

You bit your lip and walked behind the display.

“Oh, hello, again.”

The minute he looks up, it’s like he’s entranced all over again—his lips part barely, as if surprised, his eyes widen ever so slightly. His hair is a bit less messy this time, where yesterday he seemed tired and rushed, today he was laid back and aware.

“Hello,” you greeted the little girl. “That one’s my favorite,” you said, pointing at the desert that originally caught her attention.

He was still looking at you, and you couldn’t help but smile and laugh.

The girl elbowed his side, whispering what you heard to be ‘Dad’ and he then stuttered quietly before saying ‘Hello’ back.

You found it to be cute. His daughter raised a brow and rolled her eyes for a small second before going back to the food, biting her cheek as if in deep thought.

“So good you had to come back, right?” You found it so easy to tease him, to tug at his strings. It made him shake his head with a smile.

“Damn right,” he replied.

You let them look through the different foods, this time taking in every small detail about him; his dark curly hair, brows that furrowed when thinking, the watch on his hand when he scratched his short beard.

“Uh, we’ll take a couple of these,” he pointed at the display, and you took note of the desert. “And one—“

“Two,” the girl cut him off.

“Sorry—two black coffees.”

She muttered something else at him, something you couldn’t quite catch, but it made him scoff, a noticeable red on his cheeks surface.

You gave him a small wink when he caught your eyes, and you quickly went in the back to start another pot of fresh coffee. You wanted them to have it as soon as it got done, ready with the newest beans you got in store.

Once done, you pull out the freshly made deserts, putting them both in a container for their convenience, and grabbed the coffees while meeting them at the end of the counter.

You wanted this moment to be as long as possible, to make some sort of small talk to know him better and then it hit you—his name.

“Never got your name,” you said casually, setting their stuff down. “I usually know all my regulars.”

He smiled slightly, pausing a moment. You thought maybe you overstepped, you made him uncomfortable or confused, and you felt your heart sink—

“Ah, sorry,” he said, his voice delicate despite his southern drawl. “Joel,” he said, and you felt yourself let go of a breath you’d been holding.

You repeated his name over and over again, as if worried you’ll forget.

“This is Sarah,” he then spoke. “My daughter.”

You gave her a smile, wishing that she enjoyed her coffee and treat, but she seemed more focused on how tangy the coffee tasted because she gave it a funny look after taking a sip.

Your focus went back to him.

You gave him your name, tilting your head as if it would help you look into his mind, his soul, through his eyes. You couldn’t get over them, how much they resembled the coffee you just made.

“See you again soon, Joel,” you said.

You could’ve sworn you’d heard him say “yes ma’am,” right as he left.

———

The rest of your day was a breeze. Each customer was satisfied, you felt happy, and the day ended before you knew it— and it was time to go home. You gathered your stuff and took a sandwich before setting off, the newfound giddiness making the walk home much better than it usually is.

You played your music, the scenario playing over and over, the way he sounded when he said his name.

God, this was not good.

You’d sworn to yourself you’d focus on your own self and your happiness, you’d made a promise that you were determined not to break. Once you were happy on your own, you’d try again. Once you could cope without romance and writing, you’d try again. Once you had yourself forgetting about love, you’d try again.

This was so stupid, such a horrible mistake you could make.

You tried to let the feeling last a little longer, but by the end of the day, you should just let it go.

He was just a customer. Nothing more.

Hell, he brought his daughter in. He must be with someone, right? You don’t remember seeing a ring, but still, you shouldn’t just assume he’s single.

You’re frustrated, your mood is suddenly ruined, but it’s for the best.

This is for the best.

———

“You suck at talking to women,” Sarah said.

Joel sighed, closing his car door and stepping over to the trunk, pulling his stuff out. He had just picked up Sarah from school, and it seems that their coffee run was still fresh in her mind.

“Let’s just go inside,” he muttered. She shrugged, and unlocked the door while he walked up the steps.

The house was a bit dirty, and he remembered he hadn’t cleaned in few days. Now that it was the weekend, he’d have to bring out the vacuum and make the place shine.

Tommy and Maria were coming over, he’s been wanting to introduce his girlfriend for a while now. Joel agreed, figuring listening about other people’s love life would get his mind off his own.

“I’m going upstairs,” Sarah announced. She grabbed the phone off the wall, dialing. Joel assumed it was her friend, Ellie.

He was glad Sarah had friends, though from what he heard, this one was nothing but trouble. But still, what kind of trouble could a kid possibly get into? It’s not like she was in a gang or delinquent of some sort.

At least, he hoped.

He set his box in the closet and figured he might as well start now, so he brought out his cleaning supplies. He’d let Sarah do the cooking. He told her earlier just to get plain hot dogs started an hour or so before they show up, Tommy was supposedly bringing a salad and something else he couldn’t quite remember.

Taking a bit of time to clean today was less he’d have to do tomorrow.

Friday night was always his favorite kind of night anyway. Just getting off the work week and knowing he had all the time at night to then sleep half the day on Saturday—what more could he ask for?

He worked on the living room floor for a little while, finding himself lost in thought while the noise of the vacuum drowned him deeper into the earlier conversation.

His name rolled off your tongue so easily, he wanted to hear it again. He wanted to hear your laughter after he says something stupid, he wanted to feel how your hand would fit in his.

What was he doing.

He turned off the vacuum and brushed his fingers through his hair, inhaling deeply. If he couldn’t keep his mind off you, what else could he do?

He moved on to another room, double checking clothes and miscellaneous items were picked up. Room by room, his house would be clean.

He ended in the kitchen, attention caught to the coffee cup from the day before. He cursed, throwing it in the trash.

If this was how he was going to act, he had to stop going, but he knew he couldn’t do that.

He last left with a promise of return dropping from his lips, there was no way he’d back down now.

He’d indulge.

He remembers the hours on the sign, recalling the opening time for tomorrow, and made it a mission to set off right when the doors would open.

———

Joel wasn’t able to sleep well. He got up and got himself ready, putting a bit more care into his appearance than usual, and headed downstairs.

He scribbled a note and put it on the counter for Sarah, saying he’d be back with breakfast, just in case she’d wake up before he got back. He didn’t want to wake her, and Saturday seemed to be one of the only days the day the kid really slept.

He grabbed his jacket���it was starting to get cold outside. Fall was the best time of year, the ideal weather for just about anything.

He started his truck and drove off.

He really hoped he’d be the first one there, that way there’d be no distractions, no worries of a line behind him.

He’s not the first one here this time, a couple other people just walked in before he did, and he felt his heart sink when he realized she wasn’t there.

She wasn’t there.

Another employee was running the counter, while someone else brewed coffee. He thought about walking out, but he’d promised to be back with breakfast—and he truly didn’t mind the coffee here.

Though, he was worried how different it would taste, coming from someone else.

When the line moved up, he ended up ordering the same as yesterday, hoping Sarah would be happy with that.

He felt disappointed, standing close to window while thinking about her. He was so certain she’d be here today, his heart chased after the idea. He got himself up early, it was now after five. Instinctively, he checked his watch, but closed his eyes and then looked around to search for a clock.

5:30am. Maybe he was too early? But then again, he hadn’t seen the other two employees that day.

He rested his hand on the counter, more weight on one leg while his eyes focused on the dim streetlights outside. Sun wasn’t even up, wouldn’t be for a while.

He was ripped away from his thoughts when the employee came up behind him, announcing his order. He turned around and looked down.

Two coffees, two deserts.

“She’ll like those, sir!” The employee said, pointing at the desert. He was about to ask him what he meant but then it occurred to him—he looked a bit cleaner, dressed to the nines with his hair slicked back and his best flannel unbuttoned with a black shirt beneath.

“Oh, ‘s for my daughter,” he replied. The employee, albeit confused, apologized, but was still cheerful all the same.

Joel gave him a slight nod, but then thought of something.

He took a shot; he asked when shed be in, letting the name hang loosely while the guy registered who it was. He gave him a raised brow, confusion—or maybe thinking he was after her, though he hoped to god that he didn’t think that was the case.

“Not on the weekends, but just about every day during the week,” he replied. The guy looked him up and down, a bit weary. “Why, you friends with her?”

Joel felt his face blush.

“Uh, just enjoyed chatting with her last time,” he responded, looking down for a split second. The worker hummed in response, a smirk creeping across his face.

Get it together, Joel thought, worried he’d blow it. He wasn’t sure how well he came off as a good person, and is something he struggles with because of his demeanor and accent.

“Check back Monday,” the guy then said, giving him a smile, and then nodded at the food.

“Enjoy!”

———

Joel returned home, Sarah was still asleep.

He sighed.

He thinks about going back to bed, resting his head and closing his eyes—but he was already dressed, hell, he was ready for the gathering twelve hours early.

He puts the deserts in the fridge instead, realizing Sarah’s coffee would get cold by the time she woke up, but figured he might as well drink them both. It’s not like she really enjoyed it anyways.

He sat on the couch and turned on the TV, mindlessly watching the news, flipping through channels every now and then. He just needed a good distraction until he could see her Monday.

The get together is pleasant. Tommy introduces Maria, a nice woman that knows how to keep Tommy in line. It’s amazing, he listens to everything she says without remarks.

He must truly be head-over-heels.

The dinner is nice, Sarah cooked the hot dogs before they arrived so they could eat right away. Tommy got to asking Sarah about school, and Sarah gave him the details about her friends, her school work, everything.

It was good.

This is good.

Until it wasn’t.

“Dad’s met a girl,” Sarah brings up, and Joel almost chokes on his food.

The room goes quiet and Tommy gives him a look, that look.

“Well I’ll be!” He exclaims. “Tell me everything.”

“Nothin’ to tell, no girl,” Joel said firmly, and then gave Sarah a glare. She rolled her eyes.

“If Sarah’s sayin’ this much about your love life, it must be true.” Tommy said. He waited for more, he was practically on the edge of his seat, the most excited he’d been for him in a long while. Maria raised a brow at him, which then made him fall silent. He shrugged at her instead while she rolled her eyes.

“There’s no girl,” Joel affirms, sitting back with his arms crossed. “Just cause I see someone pretty doesn’t mean she’s anything more.”

He pointed a finger at Sarah.

“And you need to butt out.”

Sarah pouted a bit, and went back to eating. He could tell she wanted to say more, there was so much more to tell, from visiting the shop when they opened to chasing the early morning in order to see her, but there was no more that should be said.

Tommy could tell that he struck a nerve, and left it at that, but the smile never left his face.

———

After their gathering, they said their goodbyes, Tommy telling Joel to call him, Joel telling him he did good finding a woman that kept him on a leash, someone who could knock some sense into him every now and then.

Overall, a nice night. Helped keep his mind off her until Sarah brought her up, but the food was good and the company being his family was much needed, after not seeing his brother for a bit.

Finally, the night has come, and he decides to clean up tomorrow, and instead goes upstairs to shower.

The heavy water drops on his bare back, and he’s become absorbed in the heat, relaxing while the steam clouded the bathroom. He could still smell a bit of coffee, wafting through his head whenever he thought of her, of earlier.

He wondered if she tasted like coffee.

Afterwards, he brushed his teeth and laid in bed, contemplating on continuing a book he began reading a couple days ago, but was so exhausted he stared up at the ceiling instead. In the dark, he could make out some of the small cracks covered with caulk and paint, before letting his eyelids close with a deep sigh.

He dreamt of her, of the first time they met, and days after. He dreamt of him with her, walking and talking about anything and everything, his heart felt so full. He dreamt of her eyes, the whole world within them, and her lips, which turned out to be soft when he planted his own on them.

She was heaven in a human, she was kindness itself.

A smile that broke the kiss apart, except it wasn’t her smiling.

She frowned, confused, and pushed him away, saying it could never work, saying that it wasn’t right, and they never will be.

His arm raised and his hand reached for hers, only for her to disappear.

It felt cruel, like his heart was ripped out of his chest, he felt empty and bare, a hole inside with pieces that couldn’t be put back in.

Joel woke, startled, clutching his chest with his shirt tight under his fingers. He glanced around his dark room, and reached over to pull the string on his lamp. It lit the nightstand and upper half of his bed, and he tried to breathe.

Deep breath in.

He had to get a hold of himself, this was stupid.

He sat back with his hand on his forehead.

Exhale.

What the hell was he going to do?

[noxsspace]

new chapter of Don’t Be a Stranger will be up tomorrow !!

[noxsspace]

okay I saw you posted your ep 5 thoughts. idk if you listen to the podcast or watch the little behind the scenes at the end of the episodes. I usually watch but don't listen. I think it was Craig (?) who mentioned that in the haze and adrenaline of everything with the stalkers there's a second where as Jesse approaches, he looks like Joel to Ellie. I'm not going to lie, I did not get that from it at all and I don't know what I think about it generally. Do you have any thoughts?

I saw that! this does happen in the game at a different time but Ellie is confused for a moment and they actually had Troy’s voice for a second instead of Jeffrey (she mistakes Tommy for Joel). I also think this is a reference to the game trailer where they actually had that cut scene in the game when Jesse shows up cut for Joel to counter the leaks happening before the game released. So I don’t think it’s out of nowhere — and honestly, I think it was probably too subtle if that’s what they wanted us to get from it. It’s a good idea and a good look into Ellie’s psyche, especially since with the cut of the last 1/3 of the episode we’re supposed to have him in our mind bc she does, clearly. I didn’t see it in this specific scene when I was watching but probably bc I was high and also actively chanting Jesse Jesse Jesse Jesse with my hands in the air (cause I figured out pretty fast he was their ticket out).

[noxsspace]

i just saw a tiktok post where apparently Craig is the main writer for season two so far when Neil was more in on season one—and Craig wasn’t going to include the scene where Ellie was at the theatre playing that one specific song on the guitar. which explains a LOT about how Ellie is written this season.

lowkey pretty pissed that he’s begun to mischaracterize her in those aspects. and i only hope that they keep what they’ve built off the last episode into the others.

[noxsspace]

Some of my thoughts regarding the hate on season two and Bella in general:

Some of the comments on Bella’s appearance and acting are downright awful. It’s to the point where I wonder if the people commenting feel any remorse for their harsh words. Bella’s acting is good, we’ve seen it in season one.

Sure, season two’s writing is not the greatest; they left out Tommy’s rampage, developed the characters differently, and changed the timeline, but it’s an ADAPTATION. I’m genuinely curious about how this story will go. I am upset Tommy’s not out for revenge, but I’m enjoying the show as it’s intended to be, for entertainment.

It’s not like there weren’t any changes in season one. People have been nitpicking every little thing, from the lines or the appearance. It’s a show. I know they don’t look realistic given the circumstance of the world.

Not to mention the amount of homophobia revolving around Dina and Ellie I have seen. People are genuinely weirded out by the inclusion of gay women as if Ellie isn’t a lesbian.

And the comments about “i’m gonna be a dad?”. Sure, it’s a little uncharacteristic. Hell, some of the stuff the writers incorporated into the script is uncharacteristic and not well aligned with the characters from the game. But i think people need to remember the bit of light Ellie’s character had with Joel. Dina brought that out a bit.

And, it’s been THREE MONTHS in the show rather than the game. People grieve in different ways, and sometimes other people who are there to help with that cause the individual to show it differently.

AND, Ellie did not hesitate to go to the hospital when given the opportunity. She left Dina with Jesse and vengeance took over. She was dead set on getting information, while the others were probably wondering if she’d even make it back alive.

Her killing Nora is the switch she needed. She will not turn back from this.

[noxsspace]

gonna be posting chapter 2 of Don’t Be a Stranger soon ☺️

[noxsspace]

bella haters just look dumber and dumber every episode like that second emmy nom is secured and you guys will always be LOSERS 🫵🏻🍅🍅

[noxsspace]

WOODWORKING JOEL😭🫶

[noxsspace]

69 followers. nice.

[noxsspace]

i’ve been getting so many hate comments on tiktok for being excited about ellie’s rage in episode five it’s actually insane 😭

[noxsspace]

gonna work on the next chapter of Don’t Be a Stranger tonight cause that tiny moment of Joel in the last episode fueled me

[noxsspace]

!!!!TLOU episode 5 spoilers!!!!

Ellie really showed her rage this episode. went straight to the hospital without a second thought, hell bent on finding Abby despite Dina being shot in the leg, chased down Nora and beat the absolute living hell out of her the way Joel did when he needed information.

Like father like daughter.

[noxsspace]

OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY