βΆjust talking so i don't explode | 20 π§π·βΆ ββββββββπ£ tw: sh, vent..π£ββββββββ
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tbh i hate talking about how i feel abt my looks because it feels kinda..?? when i think about all the other problems i have/could have in my life but i can't stop thinking and idek why.
i mean i always felt ugly asf, once in a while i would feel kinda cute but i always had to make a lot of effort and spend hours in front of the mirror and i still would feel like that deep down but since i don't do shit like that anymore, it feels worse. like if i lived alone i would break all the mirrors just to stop me from looking at myself by ANY chance,,, i really wish i could hide inside my home forever so nobody would see me
#personal vent#you ever felt so ugly that you forget how your face looks like because you don't wanna see yourself in mirrors?#self h4te#lmaoo#i hate everything#banging my head against the wall#i would do plastic surgery without even thinking twice#body dismorphia idk
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I think one of the worst symptoms of bpd is the lack of emotional permanence no matter how many good and loving people you have in your life the second you are alone it feels like you were never loved and it was all just a figment of your imagination
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i like thinking of all the ways i could kill myself
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