octguernica-blog

[octguernica-blog]

Something I wrote just now, sorry for the scribbles/mistakes, I wrote this off the top of my head Smoking in the shirt you last saw me in I didn't start smoking until after you I try to numb it out Yet 3 cigarettes don't really do the trick But for a second, I'm floating Sometimes I just need a second A second to have my head and body fill with smoke And not you The taste lingers in between my teeth I'd rather have it lingering around Leaving its trail Instead of you lingering in my thoughts Embedded in my core Leaving like you always have I'd rather smoke a pack of cigarettes Knowing of their harmful effects I'm starting to believe you're more harmful You draw me in then leave me Aching for more Just one more taste then I'm done I know how bad you can be for me But I keep coming back for more You're worse than a cigarette

[octguernica-blog]

I think it's best if I write it down I just have to get it out somehow I feel like I'm screaming from the rooftops inside my head Do I start with the beginning middle or what seems like the constant end Either way it's never clear and complete You come and go and I'm a revolving door I try to lock you out But you keep finding the keys It's sickening how often you come to mind I blast music to drown out your memory Yet all the songs remind me of you I can't even watch TV without comparing the characters to you Up and down and back around I just want it to be steady You hold a piece of me that has left a hole I try to fill it with more of you When that doesn't work I lean towards another drink and the smoke that fills my lungs  I know I can be made whole again Letting go of your hold That's the best thing for my health And I'm aching to be healthy

Boomerang

[octguernica-blog]

I still remember the feel Of your hand on the small of my back The feel When your fingers lingered That extra second when you touched my neck I still recap the way you say my name Like it's something you created just for me The way you notice me when your eyes fall upon me in the room How you somehow stir up something to say To where I can't help but respond How you're in my thoughts moments after you leave Curious if I'm in yours too I also remember your promises And commitments that you say are true But you don't seem to keep them There's always a reason or explanation For why you didn't show up For why you got lost in the mess But it's not your fault There's been lies and hiding You've admitted to some Now it's hard to tell which way you're going I find myself pondering over the times we've shared Then remind myself of the others The one you keep at home The several who you're closer with In a different way How dare I be left in comparison My intuition told me the path would lead to this direction Maybe it's because you're the closest thing I have to having somebody

Still

[octguernica-blog]

Crazy how some things don't last One moment can be so sweet Next moment falls to a crash Thought I knew what was happening Why did you promise me you'd show Now when I look for you you're hidden The only thing left is to let go I must have thought of you more Is it best to erase the words you've said Seems like you already did Lingering in the back of my head Those thoughts are slipping away You became what you said you weren't This seems to happen too often Swimming too deep in the current It's not what I thought it was

Changed thought

[octguernica-blog]

I knew from the start this wasn't a good idea I knew that any fantasies of you And me were ones I had to shake I guess I knew it wouldn't be easy to do Let's just pretend those lingering eyes didn't happen The nicknames and poking fun at one another Didn't mean a thing, didn't stay in your mind You already had a space filled up for her I don't want to be that person I wouldn't know what to do if this became more Reasons why it shouldn't cross my mind Can't be affected when you walk out the door Going to forget the ways you get me To laugh, to forget where I am This is just make believe We could talk all week But it's with her that you made your plan Can't expect you to give me flowers I'm putting on a straight face No touch, no smile will quiver it Won't let you make my heart race

Forbidden

[octguernica-blog]

You can touch me multiple times Doesn’t mean you really know me Doesn’t me you really care Doesn’t mean love You’re just there And I’m just here Kiss me on that one spot Kiss me in the corner Kiss me in the dark Kiss me everywhere But then we make our way Next time we cross paths Things will be different They already are Ever since I walked out the door Maybe I knew that The moment we leave I can sense the ending coming near This connected time Will soon be gone As if we weren’t connected at all

Just a kiss