ohbutwheresyourheart - Tumblr blog

[ohbutwheresyourheart]

i do want a cure. actually. for me. because fuck this and fuck all of the endless issues i keep discovering that are linked to my autism. i would like to. not. thanks.

[ohbutwheresyourheart]

[ohbutwheresyourheart]

a bottom-tier autistic experience is being told throughout your entire childhood that you are just an overthinker when it comes to social situations and later finding out that your friends did, in fact, hate being around you and tried to communicate that through weird little hints

[ohbutwheresyourheart]

feeling very lonely and sad today. wishing for someone who will want to say by my side forever. to hold my hand and sleep beside me and we will take care of each other.

[ohbutwheresyourheart]

deleting files makes me so scared what if i Needed That

[ohbutwheresyourheart]

thinking about how when you experience a lot of shame in your formative years (indirectly, directly, as abuse or just as an extant part of your environment) it becomes really difficult to be perceived by other people in general. the mere concept of someone watching me do anything, whether it's a totally normal activity or something unfamiliar of embarrassing, whether I'm working in an excel spreadsheet or being horny on main, it just makes my skin crawl and my brain turn to static because I cannot convince myself that it's okay to be seen and experienced. because to exist is to be ashamed and embarrassed of myself, whether I'm failing at something or not, because my instinctive reaction to anyone commenting on ANYTHING I'm doing is to crawl into a hole and die. it's such a bizarre and dehumanizing feeling to just not be able to exist without constantly thinking about how you are being Perceived. ceaseless watcher give me a god damn break.

[ohbutwheresyourheart]

if that male character were a woman she would not have plucked eyebrows and good makeup

[ohbutwheresyourheart]

random stardew scenery 3/?

[ohbutwheresyourheart]

the best trope in media is: “characters turn on the lights, see the monster, and immediately turn the lights back off”

[ohbutwheresyourheart]

Donate to help get my friends out of jail here! Posting from this blog may be sparse as the protest continues.

[ohbutwheresyourheart]

[ohbutwheresyourheart]

Hannah Collins. Breath, 1994.

[ohbutwheresyourheart]

Random thought that I simply can't unthink: Cunk on Morrowind

"Could you call Nerevar the first celebrity victim of cancel culture?"

[ohbutwheresyourheart]

remember to pay attention to me btw. remember to pay attention and to be in love with me. btw. right now

[ohbutwheresyourheart]

[ohbutwheresyourheart]

paying a little visit to a beloved mutual's blog after not seeing them on the dash for a while as if i'm dropping by their cottage with some biscuits and jams in a wicker basket