ohnohah

[ohnohah]

grrrrr i hate when writers give characters realistic cocks

they be like “oh so-and-so has a 5 inch cock” and it’s just like noooooooo

give me a foot long AT LEAST idc if that would hurt like a bitch irl

i want to read about how an entire subway sandwich is being shoved down my throat and every hole in my body. give me a yardstick, a meter stick, a ruler… just give me the mega cocks !!

[ohnohah]

i must ask, is there an official kinktober list or do i have to make up my own shit? i wanna do something on my writing account but i’m not creative enough to come up with a list on my own

[ohnohah]

my heart just fucking broke an ao3 author i loved orphaned their account and now i’m stuck trying to remember all their fics 😭

[ohnohah]

just letting everyone know that if i had to get initiated into bucciaratis gang by drinking abbacchios piss, i’m drinking every drop straight from the tap!!!

[ohnohah]

warnings: accurate sukuna, non con, dub con, kidnapping, bondage, suffocation, piss kink, cum eating, anal, stalking, breeding, yandere, chasing, predator/prey, mention of killing, NSFW 🔞 (sorry lol)

accurate boyfriend sukuna would kidnap you without a word, effortlessly. he’d snatch you as you’re walking into work on a normal wednesday, using less than half of his strength.

he’d shove you into a van and he wouldn’t speak once as you sobbed and screamed for your boyfriend to save you, the one you don’t know is actually your kidnapper. he’d rip your clothes into shreds, duct tape your wailing mouth shut, tie your beautiful legs open, tie your arms together, and blindfold your crying eyes. he’d let you lie on the floor in the back of the van stripped of any seats as he drives you to an abandoned warehouse deep in the middle of the forest.

and then he’d shove you down onto the harsh, dirty, concrete, circling you for minutes like a deranged animal as you shake vulnerably.

“p-please my boyfriend will kill you for this! he’s crazy!” you’d cry out under the duct tape and he’d try so hard not to laugh. you are just so cute, thinking of him in this situation.

and then, he’d fuck the shit out of you, not allowing one second to adjust to his large length before destroying your insides. your pussy, your ass, your mouth. and aww he loves how you try to conceal how much pleasure you’re in as he takes you in every way possible.

and fuck, it’s just so hard to keep his groans back because your pussy, your body, is made for him, you feel so good but he doesn’t want you knowing who he is yet— no, he’s still having his fun.

throughout whatever he chooses to do to you, he’s constantly licking and slobbering all over you, especially your neck and face. not to mention how many bite marks litter the entirety of your body after this, some so deep that blood is even dripping out— he thinks it’s a visual representation how how much he loves you

and he’s never been into the idea of licking the inside of your ears or nose but he finds himself doing just that, driven by the primal urge to mate, clean his mate, and take care of you.

when he’s in your pussy, he’d have a few fingers deep in your ass while his other hand is pinching your nipples so you squeal in that adorable way you always do. he’d even hold your nose closed for a whole minute to see how long you can go without passing out, his favorite is doing this when his cock is nuzzled all the way down your throat, choking you and suffocating you at the same time.

he’d rip off the duct tape momentarily just to cum deep into your throat, alternating between choking you with his large hand as you struggle to swallow his cum and briefly releasing you just long enough to catch your breath before repeating the cycle.

he would piss all the way inside of your cunt, marking you with his scent because he thinks he’s an ‘alpha male,’ whatever that means, relishing in the way your body begins to shake violently, pussy clenching in attempt to push the nasty liquid out when you realize that’s not cum pouring into you. it’s disgusting, and he loves it.

he’d slide a knife down your body as it jerks from his mean thrusts and he knows you recognize the feeling because your cries get louder, but you’re so confused when he cuts your restraints holding your legs and arms together.

he would act as if he’s distracted, pulling out of your little pussy for a brief second so that you’ll take his bait and run. run like he, your sweet boyfriend, taught you to do if anyone ever tried to take you. and he’s so kind, he’d even give you a head start. he thinks you’re his smart little girl because even though you can’t see, you still knew to run into the forest where he’d have a harder time catching you. he loves a challenge, he thinks you know him so well

but you’re adorable if you think he won’t catch you, limping like you are or not. he’d give you a lengthy head start and then he’d chase you, growling like a fucking predator. you’d only panic more as his heavy footsteps and growls grow louder behind you, indicating he’s getting closer. he’d get that crazed look in his red eyes just before he pounces on you, and when he does, he'd pull your body close to his, taking all of the impact as you slide across the forest floor.

you’d whine and whimper in submission, finally giving up— which just gives him chills and makes his cock jump. he’d harshly and deeply mount you with a low grunt immediately, driving you into the forest floor prone bone as you clutch the dirt beside you to cope, your fingernails filling with earth. and you just can’t help but cum on his cock multiple times, he thinks it’s really not your fault, your sweet body is trained to orgasm in reaction to him— it just represents your bond.

you’d be sobbing under the duct tape but he’d laugh— and the minute you hear his menacing laugh, your eyes would grow wide under the blindfold in realization, shock, anger, and frustration. you’re pissed that he decided to do all of this without telling you first. you maybe even would have considered it if he had asked, but he’d say “no, that takes all the fun out of it.”

now that you know who he is, he’d groan threats into your ear as he ruts into you. he would intentionally threaten to cum inside of you, knowing it scares the shit out of you. he knows you can’t take plan b or birth control because it’s just so harmful to your health but he doesn’t care.

“wan mate, gonna breed and stuff your pussy until you grow big with my heir. accept my sperm into your womb, take it my little bunny.”

and you don’t know whether to shout at your psycho boyfriend or allow the guilty, shameful pleasure to take over. and he wouldn’t stop, he’d egg your forced pleasure on by nonstop babbling into your ear as he humps you. even animals passing by in the forest recognize this familiar sight and steer clear, just another day of a predator sticking it’s poor prey with it’s cock and sperm as the poor thing whines.

“gon breed you, little one. you can’t do anything about it. scream, cry, try to run. i’ll catch you again,” he’d threaten, menacingly, knowing full well that you told him you would stop fucking him if he kept pulling this breeding shit. he thinks it’s cute you think you have a choice in the matter, you’re his now. you’ve been his most prized possession since the minute he spotted you in your cute little dress in that bar.

do you even realize how much he loves you? of course you don’t, how could you know he stalked you for months before ‘coincidentally’ meeting you in the little shop you work at. you thought it was so cute how this large, scary looking man’s favorite pastry to order was a strawberry shortcake. and wow what a coincidence it was when you found out that he lived right next door!

you’ve always known he was a bit kinky but this? you’d have never guessed he’d do something like this. perhaps you should have listened to your parents about him.

and now, on the messy forest floor, you’ve lost track of what round you’re on—it’s all blurred together after so many. but you know he’s fucking buckets of cum inside of the little bruised slit on your cervix, rasping into your ear that you if you wanted pathetic, slow, love making that you should go to your coworker, nanami, instead— but he’ll make it a little game.

“you have full permission to fuck him if you get to him first, but if i do, i’ll rip him apart and i’ll fuck his blood into your womb.” and he knows damn well that you couldn’t run back to civilization from here even if you wanted to, you don’t even know where you are in this huge forest or which direction home is. he honestly just loves the way you squeak when he threatens to kill your friends

he thinks it should comfort you when he tells you he wouldn’t do this to anyone else, that you’re special.

he’s fucked up, demented, sick, but he fucking loves you and he loves fucking you just as much. his little bunny.

———-

hear me out—

[ohnohah]

whenever i drop my phone i gotta lowkey act like a tsundere. if i dont praise it for not cracking, it might get its feelings hurt and crack. but if i’m too open with the praise it might crack under the pressure

[ohnohah]

it’s so hot i can’t even engage in the act of relieving oneself of ejaculate and stress through sexual self pleasure peacefully. send help

[ohnohah]

mfs will write the most poetic, sensual, moving stories just to express how badly they want to gargle a fictional characters cum

[ohnohah]

“uhm the ship is cannon 🤓☝️”

uhm actually, the only cannon ship is me x whatever character i’m into. stop being delusional.

[ohnohah]

ban gettin backshots idc.

[ohnohah]

mista plays banana split but says “if you use the number four, you’ll be cursed forever more”

[ohnohah]

i just thought of some filthy things with stands… the fanfic writers need to start matching my freak.

[ohnohah]

trying to get into another fandom when you’re still kinda fixated on another one is a struggle that no one talks about

[ohnohah]

maybe maturing is realizing that there’s nothing inherently wrong with jolyne x anastasia…

[ohnohah]

my anus puckered.

i think about fratboys!satoru and suguru, popular and desired by almost everyone on the campus, and their stupid, dumb best friend who's a major dork and nerd. you're very booksmart, but not streetsmart.

the two of them don't care, though, and love to just stare at you dreamily as you ramble about this new figurine you bought or show off your new shirt covered in stars and explain what each star is.

little do you know the both have to excuse themselves to the bathroom where they help each other jerk off because of how fucking adorable you are, suguru having to shush satoru, who just wont stop whining.

"how much longer, sugu? just a kiss, that's all i want from him, he's just so fucking cute."

"shh, satoru, he's gonna hear you..."

"mmh, fuck, maybe i want that, want him t' come find us. you know we'll make him feel s' good, don't you wanna fuck him? c'mon, we...w-we could both fit inside him, stretch 'im out real good, yeah?"

"a-ah...don't...don't say things like that, you perv."

"says you, you're about t' cum all over your hand just from thinkin' about him all pretty, cryin' and beggin' for both of us, sugu...imagine him begging for you t' cum in him."

"s-shut the fuck up, satoru, oh my god."

[ohnohah]

that feeling when you love a fandom so much it actually starts to piss you off when you see it

[ohnohah]

where’s the thor x reader x lu bu spit roast??? need to be between them NEOW