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Like yes queen (my professors) I hope you enjoy using honorlock for classes that ARE SCRATCHWORK HEAVY.

Like? First you make me download the network babysitting software that is absolutely spyware (I HOPE the government sees the gay fanfiction I write) and then you have me scan my house for cheating (fuck you) BUT THEN you make me turn my phone towards the screen so you can WATCH ME SHUT IT DOWN and then. Oh boy.

You eye-track Miette during physics and mathematics courses? You eye-track Miette like the dystopian prisoner? Oh! Oh! JAIL for Professors! JAIL for Professors for one thousand YEARS.

I get flagged for cheating every three seconds because it’s PHYSICS AND MATHEMATICS where do you WANT ME TO LOOK?!

Have a good weekend and listen to songs and draw and go to farmer’s market with notable decrease in class workload for next week BUT ☝️! FIRST ☝️! You must complete the Two Exams From Hell.

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Have a good weekend and listen to songs and draw and go to farmer’s market with notable decrease in class workload for next week BUT ☝️! FIRST ☝️! You must complete the Two Exams From Hell.

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First time I’m doing this off of someone else’s post sO—

YEAH! Good eye, OP! I had to look a little deeper into it but this likely?? ties into death and how it ties into isolation.

Funeral services take place in churches, as we know, and I believe (and correct me if I’m wrong) this church crops up when his mother’s death is discussed? The symbolism makes most sense to me when it’s framed in the circumstances of her death.

Look at the pews, see how they’re filled with plants. Those plants look pretty similar to the ones seen around his level and himself later in life… though that might be just the reusing of models to make things easier. I can’t identify the plants from just a screenshot because I’m ✨vision-impaired✨ but if anyone can see what kinds they are, let me know.

Death leads into isolation, which in turn, leads to… less death. Bob’s story is one of harm reduction for himself, a cycle of ‘you got hurt by that thing, never do that thing again, find ways to make it hurt less’. He isolates himself so that the people around him can’t hurt him, whether that be actively… or inadvertently.

Every seed in Bob’s Bottles is representative of a person who hurt him mostly inadvertently. His mother locked herself in her greenhouse so that Bob didn’t see her drink. Helmut didn’t die on purpose, he died for Bob. Truman clearly loves him dearly, and wouldn’t have fired Bob if he weren’t jeopardizing missions.

Some jumbled thoughts about the stained glass windows: the purple light makes the plants nearest look as though they’re wilting or dying —at least that’s how I saw it. Take that as you will, but as someone who has been to a church on occasion and has had to sit through a three hour service in 80 degree weather… I get it.

Also, the daisies? I think they’re daisies. The first thing that came to mind was ‘pushing up daisies’. Daisies represent innocence and purity, i.e. childhood, because that’s his mom. I think the two plants closer to the center are roses and I cannot, for the life of me, remember where I’ve seen that center one before. I’m sure they have meanings.

I need to go into depth on the parallels between Bob and his mom but a lot of those are fairly surface level.

Anyways I’m sure this isn’t super profound or nothing I just got really excited. Once again, thank you for the screenshot and inspiration, OP, and happy trivia hunting 🫶!

hmmmm now call me crazy... but i think ☝️ bob might have some complicated feelings about religion 🤔

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Do you ever just listen to very upbeat music while you are seething with rage and suddenly your entire playlist looks like a 2013-2017 car ride with the windows down but you’re actually about to kill somebody ?

This cannot be original !

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A cosmic friend

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The ‘Don’t give me that attitude, you guys, I’m doing it all for you’ from A Goofy Movie has been on repeat in my head and out of my mouth/my soundboard these last couple of days because I’m doing what?

The expected response from the crowd I don’t have is; ‘obsessing over Minecraft with your friends for two weeks!’ <- I, specifically, enjoy mining. You can imagine the context in which the above phrase would be used.

Another acceptable option would be ‘playing survival horror games on Roblox with these same friends.’ <- I’m their medic and pack mule.

Bobby Zimmeruski, how I long to be half as nonchalant and cheese-motivated as you.

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Nah, girl, you don’t want a YA novel love interest, you want Louie from Pikmin.

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Thank you Thom Yorke bot. I shall.

Radiohead is pretty good when you don’t have a creature screaming in your ear about how you don’t understand send tweet

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im connecting the dots

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Switching gears a little; writing X-Men fanfiction in my fucking notes app because AO3 is a scary and uncharted territory at the moment is So Fun because I can’t say a single thing about it or else someone’s going to recognize me as the guy who wrote existential horror about a wall of meat.

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Radiohead is pretty good when you don’t have a creature screaming in your ear about how you don’t understand send tweet

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Quizlet? Nah.

Programming my own app (not a professional one, just an input output function) to pull from Google and help create my own practice quiz instead of just sucking it up and using the damn Quizlet? Yeaaaahh.

My final is tomorrow.

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💬 Just a Small Update, and a Big Thank You

Dear friends, kind hearts, and everyone who has stood with us,

When I first opened my heart to the world and shared our story, I never imagined the amount of love and solidarity we would receive. Thanks to your incredible support, we’ve now reached $12,837—a milestone that brings real light to some very dark days.

From the deepest corners of my heart, thank you.

💔 A Journey of Loss, but Also of Strength

As many of you know, I’ve lost 25 of my loved ones during this devastating war. That grief lives with me every single day. It’s in the silence that once held laughter, in the empty spaces where we once gathered as a family.

But through your help, I’ve also felt something else: hope. And that hope is priceless.

“21/Oct/2023 Before It Reached Us: The Day Our Neighbor’s House Was Destroyed” A quiet moment of fear, filmed just before everything changed.

“22/Oct/2023 The Morning After: Our Family Home in Ruins” This is what was left behind after the bombing of our home.

🌿 What Life Looks Like for Us Now

Despite everything, we’re still here. Still surviving. Still hoping.

But things have only gotten harder.

The war has returned, more brutal than before—and for over a month now, Gaza has been completely sealed off. No food is coming in. No medical supplies. No aid. No trade. No one is allowed to leave, and no one is allowed to enter.

We’re trapped.

🏚 We live with the fear of tomorrow, every single day. Airstrikes, drones, and the uncertainty of what might happen next. 👨‍👩‍👧 Our family is forever changed—we haven’t just lost people; we’ve lost pieces of ourselves. �� Basic needs go unmet—even clean water feels like a luxury now. Medicines, if they exist at all, are unreachable.

And yet…

Your support reminds us that we’re not forgotten. It reminds us that someone, somewhere, is still listening. That someone still cares. That we’re not completely alone in this.

Every message. Every share. Every dollar. It tells us: You’re walking this road with us. And that gives us the strength to keep going.

💖 What You Can Do

If you’ve already donated—thank you beyond words. If you can share our story again, it could reach someone who can help.

Even $5 means warmth, comfort, and a chance to breathe a little easier.

✨ Why It All Matters

This isn’t just about reaching a fundraising goal. It’s about surviving war with dignity. It’s about believing in tomorrow. It’s about making sure my daughter grows up knowing that the world did not look away.

Thank you for your kindness, patience, and belief in our humanity. You’ve helped me find my voice—and I will use it to keep hope alive.

🙏 From the Heart: A Quiet Apology

There’s something I need to say—something that’s been on my heart for some time.

When I first began sharing our story, I didn’t know what the right way was. I was scared, grieving, and trying to protect my family in any way I could. I reached out to many people, hoping someone, anyone, would see us. In that process, I now realize I may have overstepped, and I might have made some feel overwhelmed.

If that happened, I am truly sorry.

Please believe me when I say it was never out of disregard or pushiness. It came from a place of fear—fear of being forgotten, fear of not being able to keep my family safe, fear of watching everything I love slip away in silence.

I’m learning as I go. I’ve slowed down. I’m more mindful now, trying to share our journey in a way that feels respectful of the space and hearts of those listening.

If my words ever came at the wrong time, or in the wrong way, I hope you can understand where they came from—and I hope you can forgive me.

Thank you for seeing past my mistakes. Thank you for still being here. It means more than I can ever explain.

Vetted by @gazavetters ( #309 )

With love and endless gratitude, Mosab and family ♥️

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Love and not-love my on campus therapist because on one hand yes please therapy that I don’t have to actually beg on my hands and knees for but on the other hand it seems to phase her that I’m self aware. As if doing as much research as I can on the issue I’m expressly diagnosed with isn’t normal. Also she’s my age and half my height and size and I feel nervous around her but I’m nervous around everybody always.

Anyways I fully went ‘at least you’re not Mormon’ in my joking tone (which is barely a slight inflection difference) in session today, without knowing for certain if she was or wasn’t Mormon, and instead of going ‘I was joking’, I started sweating and stumbling over my words (again monotonously) trying to say that I have no issue with Mormons. Instead, I said ‘People are scary. Mormons are just as scary as regular people.’

So, if you need me, I’ll be crying into my freezer tonight.

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Oh my goodness, I’m so sorry. So much is happening in my life and I can hardly find time to think much less watch Psychonauts playthroughs… but believe me I am still loving the game. More under the cut ;]!

Someone commented at me once (on TikTok, engaging in fandom content on TikTok was my first mistake) that ‘if you like [insert game/show/movie/fandom] and your favorite character is [insert irredeemable villain], then you either didn’t get the point or you’re just being blatantly contradictory for the sake of being contradictory and you should stop doing that’.

I should first clarify that I don’t view my likes and dislikes of fictitious characters as integral to who I am as a person OR my understanding of a piece of media, and that just because I enjoy a character, doesn’t mean I defend or condone their actions. Don’t expect me to be the kind of person to hand you a list of why [insert character] was in any way justified, because nine times out of ten, no they’re not.

Second of all; the character that I feel I’ve heard a similar take on before (for this fandom, once again, on TikTok) is Gristol Malik.

Hey, this photo kinda looks like a boss intro!

Villains my beloved, honestly. I think it’s important that Psychonauts gave us both a somewhat redeemable and an irredeemable villain in Psychonauts 2. Maligula’s existence as it relates to the story is essentially pushing an old woman into the spotlight. A red herring. You (a ten year old in a position at a government institution that is on track to surpass most of the office workers who have been there for years and years) are more panicked about the idea that Maligula has the potential to realistically come back (after Tomb of The Sharkophagus) than about most of the other goings on at the Motherlobe.

Yes, there is the mole in the Psychonauts, but be honest— was all of that really at the forefront of your mind when you were hopping around bookshelves and scurrying around on a bowling ball or Ramming It Down, etc.?

Either it’s just universal that you sort of forget that the whole reason you were sent on this quest is because of some odd behavior exhibited by one Truman Zanotto, or I’m the forgetful kind of neurodivergent, because when I got to the point in the game in which Norma was confronting us for being the mole, I turned to my audience (my dog) and went ‘ohhh… I forgot about that.’

Anyways, Gristol Malik doesn’t seem super observant at first. Because he’s not. He’s under the impression that the Gzar’s position was at any point beloved due to the narrative of importance and spoiling he’d been receiving from a young age, he’s kind of self-absorbed to the point that he’s unable to see the reality of the fact that people hate him through his intense delusions of grandeur.

I found it particularly funny how ‘Delusional’ and ‘Deluginists’ are so similar in word structure— it’s super fitting.

Getting back to Gristol Malik, I think the take of hating him so thoroughly that it clouds the judgment of people who don’t hate him —for the sake of my headache, I’m glossing over the fact that he’s a fictional villain from a video game and hoping my audience is aware that such extreme stances on fiction vs. reality are silly— is a very real parallel to the actual treatment of people with NPD.

It’s a heavily stigmatized disorder, and is often one of those pop-psychology buzzwords that people throw around when they just don’t like somebody. ‘You’re a narcissist’ or ‘you’re acting narcissistic’. Those sort of statements make me slouch in my seat. I’m acquainted with and had the pleasure of working with actual people with NPD, and oftentimes they are unable to get actual treatment and help because;

1.) so little is actually known about it.

2.) a lot of times, people hear ‘narcissistic personality disorder’ and are suddenly uninterested in forming connection.

The U Chicago database defines Oxidative Stress as a “molecular imbalance between antioxidants and free radicals, or reactive oxygen molecules in the body. The imbalance creates stress on the body because it must metabolize excessive oxidative chemicals that go to the brain and throughout the body.”

Interestingly enough, a study on the subject found high levels of the molecule 8-OH-DG, which is an indicator of oxidative stress, in both patients diagnosed with NPD and BPD (Borderline Personality Disorder).

Which means those disorders are cousins! Which is objectively cool (I am not minimizing the harrowing experiences that these people suffer with, I’m just looking at it biologically), because people with NPD have rather high ego and self esteem while people with BPD have rather low ego and self esteem.

Another interesting point with NPD is the impaired recognition of shame.

Think back to Gristol. You saw his mind, his motivations and his goofy little It’s-A-Small-World knockoff. You even saw his complaints. Typically, at a point in your life, you realize that getting upset over something small is rather silly. An overfilled trash can, which I’ve done before when I was overwhelmed, and later tried to forget. Later, it becomes something to laugh about— ‘the silliest thing you’ve ever cried over’ in a game of twenty questions.

Gristol would have a very real reason to be upset, as a child. Losing his childhood home regardless of how wealthy one is would be remarkably traumatic. But that’s not his main focus, is it?

People with NPD are not monsters or horrible to be around, as the media tends to paint them. They’re people, like everyone else. Just people who tend to need a bit more help recognizing shame and when to slow their roll. It’s a similar method that people with ASPD use to integrate; simulated emotions.

Typically, explaining these things logically gets the point across, such as ‘in order for people not to look at you like you have five heads, make sure you [insert brief exercise in simulated empathy/shame/the like here].’ There are no medicines used for these disorders, really. It’s all talk therapy.

My point here; Gristol Malik is misguided and possibly a representation of untreated and undiagnosed NPD, which means that, from this perspective, it’s now twice as interesting to look at his interactions and how his character is treated by the more opinionated individuals of the Psychonauts fandom. I feel as though, if this was what the devs were going for, it could have been represented a little better so as not to further the stigmatization of the issue… but from what I’ve seen of this fandom, most people are really chill, and do the positive represent for themselves. Kudos to you, my open-minded people!

But he’s a great character and I love him.

Writing this now, I realize that this may be a controversial topic to cover. I find it a little saddening that something as integral as understanding Oxidative Stress disorders and how they can be better portrayed in media is something that might incite frustration. Mental health issues that one cannot control are not evil, but that doesn’t mean you have to be around someone whose untreated issue is harming you. I suppose this is a slippery slope to start on Tumblr of all places.

Regardless, let me know if my insight is at all insensitive. I tried to take an objective approach to the issue at hand, as this is my first time publicly talking about something that has recently become so relevant in modern interactions over the internet. Part of me gets a rush from understanding something I had previously not considered before.

I’m happy to amend my argument if anyone finds it offensive or missing crucial information, and to clarify my points if necessary. A simple DM is welcome.

I feel old. I did all of this over a TikTok comment. But I suppose inspiration strikes in the strangest of places. Happy finals week to all who celebrate!