oliviapvrrish-blog

[oliviapvrrish-blog]

k a i.

The second he said the words he regretted them, and not because they weren’t important hell his kids were just about the most important thing to him in the whole world,Noah and Mia were his first priority and now so was the baby she was carrying, but he could feel the change in her the second he had spoken and soon she was out of his arms and moving away. He didn’t want to be angry with her, he knew what she was like the moment he had met her, she had always been this way he just didn’t get why, he didn’t get why it was so hard for her to just let him love her, and to let herself be a part of the family like she had been for the past several months anyway. “Alright then…” He coughed as he looked back at her his head dipping a little. 

“We can talk about it whenever you want Liv but this isn’t something you can run away from…me and them we come together and you can’t have me unless you’re willing to….look I can’t make you want to be there for them but they’re young Olivia and if you’re here every day and we have this baby and I love you then I can’t change the way that they’re going to look at you one day.” He could only imagine how terrifying it must have been to her, he’d had nine months to prepare for each child and he’d raised them since they were babies and now she was pretty much signing up for a full family but that didn’t mean he could stop the over whelming urge he had to protect his children, all damn three of them. “We need to get you booked into the doctors, just to check how everything is and get the doctors proper confirmation about bump….then I guess we can just go from there and I don’t…I’ll leave you too it – I have to clean and make tea for when the kids are home…”

The frustration and disappoint from Kai’s end rolled over Liv like a tidal wave, and damn if it didn’t completely suck her breath straight from her lungs. She hated the fact that she couldn’t be the kind of person to just readily jump at the idea, hated the fact that she had to watch his face fall and know she was the cause, but she was helpless to be any different. It was no secret that her childhood was far from pretty or perfect. The Parrish household wasn’t exactly what you’d call a happy home. When it came to functioning within a family she was lost and floundering with no experience to ground her. The thought of messing up the child nestled within her womb was terrifying enough without adding two more on top of that right from the start. In a fantasy world she’d be able to agree without hesitation and make all his wishes come true, but this was real life, not Disney World. “You can’t ask me to make a promise that changes all of our lives and expect to get the answer you want immediately.” He deserved somebody that could give him that, though, and wasn’t that what she feared all along? That in the end she wasn’t actually the missing puzzle piece that fit the empty space in their lives? Breathing out a quiet sigh, desperate not to shed the tears building in the corners of her eyes, Liv cleared her throat and cast her gaze to the floor. “I’m sorry, okay? But I told you from the start that I wasn’t an easy person to love, or even to like, so you can’t get upset with me if I only prove myself right. You were made for this life... I wasn’t. I’m not saying no I just--- I need time to think and catch my breath before jumping into this whole new person that I don’t even know how to be.” 

[oliviapvrrish-blog]

t o n y.

Relief came over him when she said everything was okay.  Last thing he would ever want to do was disrespect anyone in such a manner.  With his sloppy grin stilled spread across his face, he nodded in agreement to her words.  “Same,” he simply stated.  The man had done some questionable things and people in his drunken stupors.  “What can I say?  I like to make an impression.”  His grey orbs lifted to meet her eyes, “pleasure to meet you Liv.”  Tony pretended to pout, “you sure?  If not my place we can always go back to your place,” he said trying to wink, but with the copious amounts of alcohol, managed to blink instead.  “I’m kidding by the way.”  Tony knew no meant no and would never do anything to intentionally make someone uncomfortable.  “What is your poison?”

She hardly knew Tony better than the woman she’d shared a bathroom mirror with twenty minutes ago, but Liv already got the feeling he was exactly her type. At least as far as friends went. “Your place or mine doesn’t really make a difference, love. I’m pretty sure my boyfriend would find an issue with it either way.” The fact that she was even calling Kai her boyfriend, not to mention that she even cared enough to refuse his joking offer, said a lot. Under any other circumstances she probably would’ve agreed, with complete seriousness, consequences be damned. Her attitude towards life was changing, and Liv wasn’t sure what to think about that. Most of the time she’d thought it to be impossible. “Drinks are definitely still doable, though. Personally I’m a whiskey girl.”

[oliviapvrrish-blog]

s i e r r a.

Laughing when the girl admitted she’d often offend people, Sierra couldn’t help but like the girl. Sierra too had a habit of offending people due to her sarcasm and bluntness so she could relate to the girl. “You should probably watch your wallet more often then. It’s a wonder how you aren’t broke,” she teased before holding her hand out for the girl. “I’m Sierra by the way.”

“Oh, no, I manage to be broke all on my own even without the missing wallet.” Liv admitted with a rolling chuckle. Her finances had never been in the best place, and lord knew she wasn’t the best and keeping track of where any of her earnings even went. “It’s nice to meet you, though, Sierra. I really do appreciate the save. I’m Liv.”

[oliviapvrrish-blog]

[oliviapvrrish-blog]

k a i.

They were gonna be okay, he knew they were because Liv may not have had a lot of faith in herself but he knew that she had a lot of love and Kai was a firm believer that things had to turn out alright. He knew that as soon as that baby was born and she held it in her arms that she was going to felt what he already did every single day and any worry she might have had about not being a good enough mother would disappear. At her comment he gave a small laugh his brows raising. “I’m sorry did you miss the part about me where I run into burning buildings quite regularly…in fact I even do it for a living.” The male smirked slightly down at her. He dipped his arms around her waist pulling her body closer to his as she connected their lips, a small satisfied sigh leaving his lips as he took all of her in. “I have to believe everything will work out Liv…that things happen for a reason..I go to church every Sunday you know? Me and the kids, and right now I’m pretty damn sure the big guy owes me some happiness and now I have you.” Her comment about not wanting kids made him pause for a second. “I uh…Liv I know you already know this but I…if you chose this, me and this baby…it’s not just us you get – I have two more beautiful children and one day they’re gunna look at you as more than just daddies friend…Noah is going to need girl advice I just can’t give him and Mia is going to need tampons and someone to help her with wedding planning one day….” One of his main concerns in life is that he’d never find someone who could help him give them what they were missing out on. “Hey now why would my son be a giant?”

Liv failed to comment on why their potential son could turn out to be a giant; Kai owned a mirror. He’d figure it out on his own soon enough. Honestly, though, she failed to say much at all. The girl’s mouth felt dry, her throat as rough as a piece of sandpaper as she slowly blinked back at him. “Of course I do...” The murmur fell out in a weak voice as she dropped her gaze and carefully inched out of his embrace. Obviously the fact that he had two other children hadn’t escaped her notice. She saw Noah and Mia nearly every day. Up until that moment they’d mostly been looked at as Kai’s kids, though. She’d never actually considered mothering them, even to the smallest degree, herself. With one hand rising to scratch at the back of her neck Liv turned away and paced the short distance to his bedroom window. 

Suddenly she was faced with the prospect of raising not just one child, but three--- all in the span of a few short minutes. The width of her chest began to fall as she was consumed with rapid breaths. How was she supposed to do this? She barely knew how to make a slice of toast without burning it beyond recognition. Now she was meant to grow another human being, give out advice she wasn’t sure she had, and buy tampons? Sucking in a deep breath with nostrils flared she had to swallow back the urge to say something she’d later regret. “I guess I just--- I just--- I never really thought that far.” In her own way she loved his children more than she ever let on, but the idea of them somehow becoming like her own right now was overwhelming. The idea of one child was overwhelming when she really let herself think about it too much. "I can’t--- can we talk about all of this later? I just...” It was taking everything in her not to flee, as she usually did, right then and there. It was only her true feelings for him, no matter how buried they might be, that kept her in place. “It’s a lot, okay? It’s--- it’s too much too fast and I can’t---”

[oliviapvrrish-blog]

m i c h a e l.

As much of a disaster as the day had been so far ( and it was still only five pm, ) Michael was very glad his reflexes had not yet given up on him, even it felt like the rest of the entire world had. He stepped away as his to-go coffee cup hit the floor, watching in disappointment as it emptied across the pavement, only to lift his head from the disaster and meet another’s gaze. “This is the third coffee I’ve dropped today; I’m starting to think it’s a sign.” His brows furrowed as he scooped up the cardboard, dumping it into a nearby bin before straightening upright once more. “Is it too early for me to go back to bed and sleep for the next couple of years? That’s really what I feel like doing right now.” A pause. “Wait, you didn’t get splashed, did you?”

Liv could appreciate the art of an poorly timed spilled drink. In fact, she was rather known for it herself. A look of empathetic dismay seeped out across her features as the pair watched his former beverage make a slow puddle from sidewalk to curb. “You know, maybe you’d feel more motivated to keep a better hold on it if it were spiked.” In her experience, at least, if there was one thing she nearly never wasted it was alcohol. Even if it wasn’t quite clear whether she was joking or not the girl crafted a smile at her lips and brandished a ten dollar bill from her wallet. “Let me treat you to another. Consider it an act of kindness that you can pay back in turn with a distraction. I need company at my table for at least the next twenty or so minutes.” Waving the crisp bill again like some form of enticement she flashed a brighter grin, voice morphing to take on a sing song quality. “What do you say? Cup number four sounds like a winner to me...”

[oliviapvrrish-blog]

c l a r i s s a.

“I have to be honest, it’s not the nicest apartment in New York. Like, there are penthouses and luxurious apartments all over the city – but! It’s better than sleeping on the ground or a metal bed with a thin sheet they call a mattress.” She said and took a sip of her coffee. “Now, any apartment horror stories you got for me while I drink this coffee?”

“I mean, it’s no luxury high rise, but you’re right--- there are certainly worse out there in the city.” The corners of her lips twitched with what could’ve been the start of a sleepy smile as Liv sat perched on the outside steps and sipped against her steaming mug of coffee. Normally she'd start off her day within the comfort of her own apartment, but the early sunlight had been too tempting to ignore. “This building has done me pretty good so far, but I lived in a place back in Boulder where the ceiling literally caved in whilst I was soaking in the tub.”

[oliviapvrrish-blog]

k a i.

Part of her frustrated him it really did because he just wished that she could see, could see herself from his point of view, how utterly amazing she was. “I see everything Olivia…when I look at you I see everything.” Kai knew she wasn’t perfect god it would be awful if she was but he didn’t need her to be anything other than the amazing woman she was. “And you don’t have to try to be anything for me, I love you just as you are, sarcasm and tequila habits…I love the full package Liv. I am going to thank god every damn day for bringing you into my life.” Kai assured her with another kiss before he remembered something and paused. “ – you do know you can’t drink for the next few months now though right?” The male asked whilst trying to keep the amusement from his face as he did so. Shaking his head Kia bit on his lip gently. “Her huh? What makes you think we’re gunna have a little girl? There could be another Blake boy in their growing stronger like his daddy.” His smile was warm and gentle, this was the happiest he had been in a long time. “Liv you’re not going to screw up, you’re going to be an amazing mom and I’m going to be there with you, every step of the way.”

Olivia wished she could possess even an ounce of the confidence he seemed to have in her when it came to the way shew viewed herself. What would it feel like to be so... sure? No matter which way she looked at things she couldn’t remember a time she’d gone through a situation without some form of indecision or doubt. Now, as with every single other day, she was reminded of the fact that she had no idea what she’d ever actually done to deserve him. “You’re absolutely out of your mind, you know that right?” Her words seemed to question and mock his decision to place his heart with her, but the smile slowly inching across her face proved she didn’t want him to change his mind. Lithe arms lifted to wrap around his neck, the rose hued pillows of his lips slanting across his mouth in a tender kiss. “I don’t think I tell you enough how much I need you in my life.” As their foreheads moved to touch she sighed, unwilling to separate just yet. “Seriously. You keep me grounded, Kai... you remind me that sometimes things just might work out.” Or at least that was the hopeful blind faith she was choosing to run with. “You know I never wanted or planned to have kids but--- if I'm doing this, I don’t think I could do it with anybody but you.” Allowing her hands to skim down from where they rested at his neck to his hips, Liv flashed a semi-playful smile after that. “And call it a hunch. Or at least a wishful dream considering the fact that breeding a baby giant sounds awfully painful.”

[oliviapvrrish-blog]

b e a.

The brunette next to Beatrice was absolutely beautiful. Based on her initial look, Bea immediately felt bad for startling her, and disrupting her day. Bea had no intention of ruining a stranger’s private time, but she had the extra coffee, and the woman was beautiful, and truth be told, even though it was Bea’s private time as well, she didn’t really enjoy being alone. She liked having someone to talk to and even though War and Peace was a lengthy and dense book, it wasn’t the kind of thing that could really keep up conversation. “You are in luck! Iced caramel latte. Which means you have fabulous taste in coffee!”

The dramatically feminine groan that pushed out of her throat and spilled past her lips was worthy of a laugh. While there were very few things in life that were truly capable of making her blissfully happy, an iced caramel latte was certainly one of them. “Its settled--- I’m a converted believer.” Okay, so maybe randomly be offered her drink of choice wasn’t quite enough to get her buying into the idea of destiny, but it at least came close to swaying her. Wrapping her lips around the plastic straw the brunette sucked back a long draw and then smiled upon swallowing. “Seriously, thank you for this. You’re earning karma points for this kindness.” Cup in one hand she extended the other. “I’m Liv.”

[oliviapvrrish-blog]

t o n y.

The touch of the woman’s hands against his chest, caused Tony to ease back and he squinted his eyes trying to figure out, which friend he just laid his lips against.  Hearing her accent, he first thought Mary the woman who now had a sworn hatred against him, but when she continued his eyes widened. It clearly was not the person; he intended to receive the somewhat friendly, but highly inappropriate kiss. “My bad,” he smirked as his eyes gazed along her body.  “One too many drinks,” he slurred as he searched for his friend who more than likely found someone to take home.  It was one of their rules; if one had a shot to get laid they should take it.  Though usually, it was Tony who left early.  “Maybe not the one I arrived with, but maybe the one I go home with?”  Tony joked. “I’m kidding,” he quickly said before it turned into anything horrible.  “After such a lovely, but short kiss I should be a gentleman and ask your name.  By the way I’m Tony.”

Her dark head dipped in an understanding nod as she continued to smirk over at the man. Honestly, she found it a little bit funny. No--- it was downright hilarious. The fact that she’d been in that position herself so many times before only increased her level of amusement. “No harm, no foul.” As far as kisses went it was harmless at best, mistaken identity or not. “Alcohol has a funny way of warping reality. I wish I could say kissing a total stranger is the worst I’ve ever done while fucked up but--- that’d be a bold faced lie.” Still chuckling mostly to herself Liv paused long enough to sip from her jack and coke before carrying on with the introductions. “It’s definitely been interesting to meet you, Tony. I’m Liv.” At that point she trailed off again, hissing in a teasing breath through her teeth as the top of her head dipped to the right. “And probably not the girl you’ll be taking home tonight. I will agree to another trip to the bar, though. I’m nearly out.”

[oliviapvrrish-blog]

k a i.

“Yes I love you.” He confirmed with a warm gaze down at her face. “God I don’t think you even really…I was done Olivia. After Ellie died…after I lost her I was done okay, my perfect wife, the mother of my children, pretty much my reason for smiling every day was taken away from me and I was so done because I couldn’t imagine ever loving anyone the way I love her, I could never imagine wanting to hold another woman or have someone around my kids and then you happened.” At this point his voice was shaking a little from the build of emotions and the over whelming sense of love he felt for her in that moment. From the moment he had pulled her from the flames and she had made a comment about his hand on her ass something about her had him hooked. At the sight of her smile his own grew in size, his grin almost slightly boyish with the excitement he was feeling. The male lent his jaw into her touch, eyes still boring into hers. “Then you happened Liv and you made me smile again, and you made me happy and I truly feel like you’re my second chance at this okay, my happy ending…us, the kids and now bump.” He mumbled slightly as his hand found it’s was to her lower stomach again, covering the space where their baby was now growing. “I love you and I want all of this.”

For at least a moment hearing about Ellie sobered Liv up from her previously hopeful mood. The significance of the loss in his life had never been any secret, but that didn’t mean it was an easier for her to hear about than it was for him to say. His wife had been selfless and nurturing, domestic and kind--- how could she ever hope to compare or fill that void in his life? Honestly, she didn’t have the answer, but the look in his eyes told her that maybe she wouldn’t even have to try. Somehow, throughout all her fault and mistakes, he chose her of all people anyways. The weight of that settled onto her shoulders as she stroked her slim fingers back toward his hair. “I don’t have a clue what you see in me,” she started to admit as her upper row of teeth moved to clench upon her lower lip, “but... I’ll try to be what you’re looking for.” In her own way, of course. It was a little daunting to feel like she was already placed on such a high pedestal, because in her experience that only meant the greater distance she had to fall, but knowing he had faith in her was encouraging. As Kai took a moment to brush across her stomach, Liv thought about the fact that they were really having a child at the same time. Without even realizing it she’d been carrying their child all along. Considering the circumstances she wasn’t even sure when it’d happened. “What if I’m no good at this?” Voicing her real fear with a hint of hesitation she locked in on his gaze. “What if I just screw her up?” What she really meant was, what if he or she turned out just like her?

[oliviapvrrish-blog]

b r i n l e y.

@oliviapvrrish​ liked for a starter!

                           — ♥  “excuse me! ma’am!” brinley called out, trotting quickly on her toes to catch up with the long legged goddess woman who had something fall out of her purse. she was walking so fast the short-legged teen was struggling to keep up, especially in the hustle of the new york streets during this time of day. when the woman FINALLY stopped, a pink-faced brinley approached her and sheepishly held out what had fallen out of the woman’s bag. “you- you dropped this,” she informed her, breathless.

It seemed like she was forgetting, or losing, everything these days. First it had been her wallet and now, upon further inspection of her bag, Liv realized she must’ve dropped her paper bag of prescriptions somewhere along the way. “You’re literally a lifesaver---” How was she meant to care for a child if she couldn’t even keep track of her vitamins? Huffing out a soft breath that ended in a chuckle the woman gratefully took the package back from the blonde and tucked it away for safe keeping. “Sorry you had to chase after me like that. I’ve been lost in my own head these days.”

[oliviapvrrish-blog]

Okay, as promised, you’ll be able to find a bullet point breakdown of the walking catastrophe that is Olivia Parrish beneath the cut !! I’ll be reaching out myself but if anybody would like to plot please please please don’t hesitate to find me first <3

Olivia aka Liv was born and raised in London. She comes from a highly dysfunctional, not to mention down on their luck family.

She’s the second oldest of SIX children and the only daughter out of the entire bunch.

Her parents weren’t bad people, necessarily, but they were always either working to keep food on the table or (unfortunately) wasting their hard earned cash at the pubs. You could say they started young and just didn’t know what to do with their kids.

Liv ended up fending for herself 99% of the time whilst also trying to look after her younger brothers in her typical distracted and irresponsible way.

Since she mostly raised herself she didn’t make the best choices. Early on she fell in with the wrong crowd and it shaped the rest of her life basically.

[ TW: DRUG ABUSE MENTIONS POSSIBLE FROM HERE ON DOWN]

Liv started using basically anything she could get her hands on in her teen years. She never believed she’d amount to much so she just didn’t try to prove herself or the world wrong.

Miraculously, when she was 17 she was scouted for modeling. The agency had enough faith in her that they even offered to bring her to Los Angeles and put her up in sponsored housing while her career took off.

Elated with the sudden money rolling in and the sense of status and freedom she’d never experienced before Liv did what she always does best... she ruined it all with her own two hands.

After months of no shows and late arrivals to her shoots and go sees (bc girl was always out too late the night before partying) the agency finally let her go. Anything she’d earned in that time had went towards fueling her drugs and alcohol so she was right back where she started. Broke and alone.

Now eighteen she started flitting around the country, trying her hand at many different things as she promised herself this time she’d get her act together. Some times she was right but more often than not she was wrong.

For years she moved between California, Colorado, Georgia, Texas, Virginia, and (eventually) New York. You could say the moment things just tricky she just up and moved again. #queenoftheFRESHSTART

She pushes everyone away. No seriously. EVERYONE. She appears happy and confident, not to mention unrepentant for her actions, but on the inside she doesn’t believe she’s a good person. When vulnerable or cornered she gets highly destructive, sometimes downright mean, and her fleeing instincts with relationships stem out of her not wanting to drag others down to rock bottom at her side.

The only exception to this has been Kai Blake. She met the man upon moving to NY and after he saved her from a fire in her previous building they became fast friends.

Somehow he stuck around for years and over the last few months there was a shift in their relationship as they began exploring a more romantic side.

Now Liv has found herself unexpectedly pregnant (three months along in fact, bc her pill was meant to keep her from having a period so she never realized what was going on) and she’s TERRIFIED (but low key excited a lil bit). Women like Liv were not meant to be mothers or in serious relationships (or so she tells herself all the damn time).

Basically, she’s a 26 year old woman who’s still trying to figure out life and what it means for her whilst always teetering on the edge of falling back into bad habits. For now she’s working as Ian’s assistant and hoping that the positive influences in her life, not to mention her first child on the way, will be enough to keep her in line.

NOW. If you read all of this I love you to death bc omg LONG.

[oliviapvrrish-blog]

e l i j a h.

“Wouldnt’ve offered if I did,” he smiled at the woman, hands already reaching out in a slight panic when he noticed her leaning over a little too quickly. At her explanation, Elijah couldn’t help the incredulous look that overcame his features. He raised an eyebrow at her and glanced down at the garbage bags he was currently carrying, two very large ones in each hand. “You’re.. joking. Look, I like clothes too but jesus christ,” he gave a small laugh. “I’d like to see what your actual closet looks like.”

Right--- of course not. In light of the obvious, Liv flashed the man an appreciative smile as one of the teetering bags was unburdened from her arms. “My actual closet? Oh, it’s easy enough to imagine... just picture something without a stitch of clothing inside.” It wasn’t an exaggeration, either. Aside from the one laundry basket sitting by her bed everything she owned was now being carried between them. Most of it was over a decade old, brought over with her from London and falling apart at the seams, the rest was simply too small. “Believe it or not, I actually hate clothes shopping. It was just time to start fresh, I guess.” Then again, her newly discovered condition didn’t give her much choice.

[oliviapvrrish-blog]

k a i.

His eyes were fixed on her stomach for the longest time, he’d never thought he’d have another baby. When Ellie had passed he hadn’t thought he would meet someone to love again, certainly not in the same way and then Olivia had come into his life and he had fallen but there was part of him that was sill waiting for her to break his heart. Kai didn’t believe she was going to stick around forever, not for an older guy with two kids and all the baggage they came with. But now here they were and she was carrying his baby and god if that didn’t scare him even more because if she left now…. he couldn’t even think about it. “I don’t think three tests are wrong.” He spoke softly still not meeting her eyes as his thumb gently trailed over the skin it was resting on. “But you should go to a doctor, just to be safe and to get health checks booked in, find out your due date, if everything is okay…” It wasn’t until he heard her apology and the emotion in her words that he finally looked up. “Hey…hey why are you sorry…no you don’t have to apologise to me for any of this… making babies takes two people.” Immediately his hands moved to cup her face. “Olivia why would you….I’m in love with you, I have been for a while now and this was never just sex for me never….and sure, the timing is shit and I’m terrified but I want you…” Leaning down Kai pressed his lips to hers before resting his forehead against her own. “I want this….if you do.”

Thoughts of due dates and well visits swirled in her head like an out of control merry go round, almost to the point of overwhelming her, until the distraction of Kai’s lips touched down on her own. He wasn’t upset, as she’d been expecting, he was--- happy? It seemed a little too hard to believe but the evidence was right in front of her. It was in the way he kissed her, even if only just to shut her up, and in the way he way he promised that this was what he wanted. Not to mention--- wait... “Did you just say you love me?”

Hazel eyes went wide as Liv pulled back enough to get a clear look at his face, finding further proof in the depths of his gaze. On one hand, the idea terrified her. Having a child, letting someone genuinely love her... those were both fantasies that she’d never pictured for her real life. On the other hand, the words alone held enough power to override her fears and drag an almost giddy smile across the girl’s lips. For years now Kai had been at her side as a best friend. Was she actually lucky enough to have him as more? Throughout the time they’d been hooking up she hadn’t let herself imagine it was possible but now... Her fingers lifted to cup the angles of his jaw as Liv tugged him closer for one more kiss. In a way, it was just as much of a response back as it was an affectionate gesture. She was lost and full of doubts that she’d ever be able to pull this off, but knowing he’d be right there beside her made her think it just might be okay. “I--- I don’t know what to think right now,” admitting it honestly without truly breaking from his lips she sucked in a slow breath, “but--- if you want this, if you want me, I think... I think I might want it, too.”

[oliviapvrrish-blog]

k a i.

“Fine if I am wrong and they say you’re not pregnant then we will put it to rest and I won’t bother you about it again.” Kai nodded as he looked back at her but something was just so sure, this was all to familiar….then again maybe he did have it wrong after all Ellie and Olivia were two different women, it was possible that maybe El had shown signs of being pregnant one way and Olivia was going to turn out to be totally different. With a small nod he watched as she made her way into the bathroom before he laid himself out on the bed with a sigh, hands behind his head as he closed his eyes and tried to settle his nerves. 

Now Kai had done a lot of waiting in his life, waiting for his sister to be born, waiting for calls at the station, waiting for his kids to be born or waiting for Noah to be home from his first day of school, the painful wait he had been through in Ellie’s last moments but the ten minutes he waited for Olivia to reappear felt like the longest of his life. He paced back and forth, laid down, stood up, changed his shirt, perched on the bed again, just about settling down as the door opened and he immediately stood, eyes flying to her own hazel orbs as he tried to figure this puzzle out. He remained silent as she spoke eyes falling to the tests she handed over, his hues fixed on the two tiny pink lines. Eventually he placed the tests on the side and lifted his eyes to hers. “Olivia you’re pregnant.” He breathed softly as he moved one hand to rest next to hers, fingers spreading until his large hand was covering most of her stomach. “I’m gunna be a dad again.” 

Liv tried not to flinch at the meaning of his words or tense beneath the touch of his hand. While his reaction was certainly calmer than she expected, she wasn’t going to assume that meant much. This relationship between them, whatever it actually was, was still too new. There wasn’t a chance in hell he’d actually want this--- right? Not with a girl like her. She was loud and impolite at the worst moments, reckless and downright destructive even when desperately tried to be the opposite. A child was for life, and the girl had a hard time believing this was what he’d been looking for when they fell into bed together that first time. “It’s--- it’s probably a fluke. We shouldn’t believe the tests. I should--- I should go see a doctor or something.” Her gaze instinctively dropped down to stare at their joint hands across her stomach. Honestly, it was hard to move past her shock enough to really figure out how she felt about it all. Children had never been in the picture, but there’d been a small part of her that’d warmed up to the idea after seeing him with his--- in a completely abstract and imaginary way. Never once had she actually believed she’d see this moment in her lifetime. Swallowing again, fighting off the annoying sting of tears, Liv finally found the courage to meet his gaze. “Kai, I’m--- I’m so sorry. I don’t--- I don’t even know how this happened, and I know this wasn’t planned, and that all of this was just meant to be casual, and a baby is the last thing either of us were looking for right now, if ever, but---I’ll-- I mean--- If you don’t---” Under the weight of her nerves she’d begun rambling endlessly, unable to start or finish a complete thought.

[oliviapvrrish-blog]

k a i.

The silence was killing his as he looked back at her, part of him had expected laughter, the other half had expected fear because he knew how Liv felt, not about kids but about the kind of mother she would be to them. Even though he could only ever see the good in her she was only ever able to see the bad. Head shaking gently as he words Kai ran a hand through his hair. “Olivia at this point I really can’t think of any other reason you’re still being sick…it’s not tequila and you don’t have a bug because me and the kids were sick, you’re not showing any signs of an infection…the only other time I have seen someone so sick, and get so pissy over smells so quick was about 7 months before my daughter was born.” He explained, trying to keep his voice as soothing and as calm as he could manage. “And I mean…we haven’t exactly been careful and the pill doesn’t always work…I was just so wrapped up in wanting you…” His own eyes fell to the box in her hand before he gave a scoff at her remark. “Olivia the Universe doesn’t get to decide…and you’re not dying. I refuse to let that be an option – “ God if he had to go through that again it would just about be the end of him. “ …please just take the tests babe…then at least if I’m wrong we will know.”

Every inch of Liv’s being wanted to continuously deny the possibility, to find any excuse under the sun for why she’d been so consistently sick for what felt like weeks now. The words were on the tip of her tongue, poised to fly free, but something about the look on Kai’s face held her back. It was painfully obvious that he was worried and nervous. How could he not be? Lord knew she was an irresponsible mess all on her own--- the idea of her having a child, being responsible for the care of another human being, was downright terrifying. The best thing to do was just suck it up, take the test, and prove him wrong. At least then he’d be able to wipe the cautious look off his face and take a breath. “Fine--- but I don’t want to hear another word about it once I pee on this thing and it comes back with a big fat NOPE.” Rising from the bed with the offensive box of sticks in her hand she trotted off to the bathroom and closed the door.

It was at least ten minutes, far longer than what the results needed to appear, before the brunette eventually made her way back out. The ill expression pinching her features wasn’t uncommon these days, but the reasoning behind it was altogether new. “I-- I don’t think this means anything. It’s--- it’s got to be a faulty test, right?” All three of them included in the box had to be, because there was no way those double pink lines were real. With a hard swallow she handed it over to him for a closer look, one hand already instinctively pressing against her abdomen, as she waited for the inevitable fall out of his reaction.