onehellofanaskblog - Tumblr blog

[onehellofanaskblog]

Another random question caused by ✨period brain✨, but what order from most helpful to helpful (cause I don't think any of you would necessarily be unhelpful) if you all had to help someone give birth? Honestly I see Jack being helpful since he is a farm boy, perhaps even Tovar as well? I know you are a mercenary, Tovar, but you also give me some raised in a farming family vibes though I could be wrong. But I also see Ezra being the most likely to actually to have read up on such things just cause the collection of knowledge that is also applicable to life in general seems very on track.

“No,” Maxwell says.

“I may be able to navigate it decently in an emergency situation,” Ezra answers. “I’m by no means an expert, but it has occasionally come up in field medicine training for various companies I’ve worked for.”

“While I have seen many farm animals give birth, I would be far less comfortable helping a woman,” Tovar says. “I’ve heard some of the things those women say while in the act. A mare or a cow can’t speak. They can all break my bones if they deem it necessary, however.”

“And that’s where I come in,” Max adds. “I’m a great stress ball. You can’t break my bones. And you can hit me if you need to. As for the actual like, getting the baby out? Not gonna be particularly helpful there.”

“Y’know, I’ve actually had to help with one before, and I did... okay, I think,” Javi says. “It was at one of the brothels. Not sure why she was there so late in her pregnancy, but it was what it was. Thankfully one of the other girls seemed to know what she was doing. Far as I know they’re both still doing well.”

“Birth is extremely important to us,” Din says. “I can definitely help with one.”

“I’m much better at taking life out of this world,” Oberyn confesses.

“Eh, I could figure it out,” Jack says, almost a little arrogantly. “It’s all the same process. Just... smaller.”

((From most to least, we got, in my opinion, Din, Javi, Jack, Tovar, Ezra, Oberyn, Max, Maxwell, but there’s a pretty big gap in helpfulness between Max and Maxwell))

[onehellofanaskblog]

Today I had a minor incident at work (more inconvenient and embarrassing than anything bad) and I was wondering if you all have your own tips and tricks for getting blood stains out? Let's me real ya'll get into some trouble sometimes so I am sure blood stains have been an issue for pretty much everyone here. XD

“I’m not going to lie I just buck up and buy stuff that’s actually made for blood stains, those laundry pre-treatments,” Max explains. “I just get enough blood on my clothes that it’s worth it.”

“Cold water, peroxide, and baking soda,” Jack suggests. “And try to get it while it’s fresh, if at all possible.”

“I’ve heard lemon juice can also work in lieu of peroxide,” Javi says.

“Just wear dark clothes and they simply don’t show up,” Tovar tells you. Din nods a little bit at that suggestion.

[onehellofanaskblog]

h-hello? Is anyone home?

The room is silent for a moment before none other than Max jumps out at you with a very over-dramatic “aha!” He immediately straightens up and laughs a little.

“Yeah, we’re all here. Our illustrious caretaker decided to find a new job and move, though, so things got a little hairy there for a bit,” Max explains.

[onehellofanaskblog]

*SLAMS OPEN DOOR* I HAVE COME WITH A BATCH OF STRESS BAKED COOKIES *THROWS CONFETTI*

The entire room startles, but is quickly smoothed over by the fact there are cookies. Everyone thanks you and starts eating theirs, and the kid particularly seems to be enjoying his.

“These are amazing,” Javi comments.

“Yeah, I’m gonna need that recipe,” Jack tells you.

“I’m not complaining about the cookies, of course, but why ‘stress baked?’“ Maxwell asks. “Isn’t... cleaning up after just going to cause you more stress?”

[onehellofanaskblog]

Hi!!! Long time no see, I may have move several states since I was last by... and got a new job! ☺️ but we have some special local fauna here that I wanted to share with Grogu (and any others interested), white squirrels! No they aren’t albino, they all seem to have grey stripes down their backs or little spots on their heads, and they still have brown eyes. Super cute in my opinion. And Din, they also have toys locally here that are white squirrels if you think your ad’ika would like one.

“Interesting creatures indeed,” Ezra observes. “Doesn’t seem like they blend in well with their surroundings. Nonetheless, congratulations on your new employment.”

“You know where to come if you need any advice,” Maxwell says. “I hope the move wasn’t too stressful for you.”

“Well done,” Tovar says shortly, though you can tell he means it.

“Cyar’ika, I’m sure the kid will love anything you have to give to him,” Din assures you. Meanwhile, Grogu grabs for your phone and ogles at the little creature for a while. He definitely seems interested in it.

“Congrats,” Javi says. “I hope it works out for you in the long run.”

“And hey, if anyone bothers you at your new job, you know who to call,” Jack adds. “Those are weird little fellas, though, huh?”

“They look more suited for somewhere it snows all the time,” Oberyn says.

“Hey, if your manager ends up being a piece of work, let me know. I have some good ways of taking care of that,” Max tells you, grinning his fang-y grin.

[onehellofanaskblog]

whats vibing doods? :)

“I have no idea what that means,” Javi answers.

“Well, I’m still here, so,” Maxwell responds. “But it certainly could be worse.”

“This place and these words you use confuse me,” Tovar says, grumpily as always.

“I’m well, better now that the weather is attempting to cool off just a bit,” Ezra replies. “And yourself?”

“The types of wine your people have devised are impressive and delicious,” Oberyn says. He has a half-consumed glass of some kind of white wine in his hand right now. It’s noon.

“Well, I’m certainly not bored,” Din says, taking his attention from the kid who is currently playing with some toys on the floor.

“I could think of some things that could use a good vibin’,” Jack says with a smirk.

Max makes an offended face at Jack. “You stole my joke!”

[onehellofanaskblog]

“So ummm these exist and I had to share because I nearly died when I saw them. Yes I also brought some for Grogu, and yes I’m sure at least some of you can think of some good old adult humor to go with these...” I trail off and prob have a very hard time hiding the fact that I already have thought of some.... thoughts that are snicker worthy because I’m still apparently not ever getting over dirty jokes being hilarious.

Grogu is, of course, psyched out of his little green mind to have this sugary snack that also looks like him. Din takes the extra two suckers and puts them in a pouch so the kid doesn’t eat all 3 all at once.

“Thank you,” he says, and there’s just a hint of amusement in his voice. He looks at the one of him for a bit, fiddling with the opening mechanism.

And, as you probably expect, Max is the one who bursts out laughing first. “You’re literally giving him head!”

[onehellofanaskblog]

I come in with a tray of what looks like brightly colored drinks with straws in them. "Hey guys! I was wondering if you all could taste test these for me and let me know your thoughts? Blue ones are alcoholic and the green are kid-friendly because of course they had to be green." ((April Fools!!!! they aren't drinks they are jello in cups, but the alcoholic vs non-alcoholic are just as described))

(These all happen simultaneously for the sake of this being extremely funny)

Oberyn takes one of the alcoholic ones and attempts to drink through the straw, and immediately looks incredibly disappointed. However, once everyone figures out what’s going on, he happily eats the jello with a spoon. “Despite the initial disappointment this is quite delightful.”

Maxwell looks distrustful and moves the straw, then gives you a look as he figures out that it’s jello. Then he looks back at the jello. “Well. I haven’t had jello shots since I was in college.”

Max knows something is awry immediately because he, too, is fond of pranking the men he lives with. “This doesn’t also have, like, laxatives in it, does it?”

Javi is also somewhat disappointed when he can’t drink it with the straw. He looks confused, then a look of realization crosses his face. “Jesus, it’s the first, isn’t it?”

Jack doesn’t take one and squints playfully. “The straws ain’t movin’,” he observes. “Good try. But I will take some, regardless.”

Tovar is absolutely mystified by this gelatin stuff. He’s quiet as he just sort of plays with it, watching it jiggle.

Ezra falls for it, too, and chuckles as he realizes what’s going on. “Very well done.”

Din hands one of the kid-friendly ones to the kid, then laughs a little as Grogu tries with frustration to drink some through the straw. In order to avoid a tantrum, he quickly replaces the straw with a spoon, and all is well with the world.

[onehellofanaskblog]

Thank you for such a nice welcome! Uh, really though, I would like to send a message of gratitude and thanks to Oberyn. I had a shitty, terrible excuse of an ex boyfriend I had to break up with semi recently in the worst way, and you may not know it but you really helped me get through something awful ... And just. Thank you so very much. - Lola.

“You’re more than welcome, my dear,” Oberyn tells you. “I’m sorry you had to go through that, though I am glad you’re out of a bad situation. Take care of yourself.”

[onehellofanaskblog]

"Hello, my hands are quite frozen again." I hold said hands out to Din, expectantly. "Since it is already known 'I had it in me' as Max so eloquently put it (though I figure it takes one to know one and I think I have his type... pegged) I figure I might as well embrace a bit of shereshoy if you will? So yes, I am coming onto you, Din. I figure best policy is to be up front since you do tend towards disbelief on that front? Which baffles me yet I also completely relate with cause that's a mood."

Din takes your hands without question, holding them tightly.

Max begins snickering at your comment, then begins straight up laughing. “Oh come on, let the record show I’ve been a hell of a lot more than pegged.”

Din tilts his head ever so slightly, almost amused. “I think we’re on the same page, now.”

[onehellofanaskblog]

Would you guys ever grow your hair out to your shoulders?

“I actually have, not by choice,” Ezra answers. “I don’t think I’d do it again. Didn’t really suit me.”

“I don’t think that would work well for me under the helmet,” Din responds.

“It’s nearly an inevitability depending on the job I’m taking on,” Tovar says.

“I don’t think that would look particularly good on me,” Maxwell answers.

“I did when I was a boy,” Oberyn replies. “I don’t think I would do it by choice now, however.”

Jack shakes his head. “Don’t think that’d be the look for me.”

Max shrugs. “Who knows. I got all of eternity to do whatever I want.”

“No,” Javi answers. “I’d look ridiculous.”

[onehellofanaskblog]

I wanted to send something and say something nice... I'm too nervous 🥺 I'm weak to pretty people and my own self esteem so uh... Hi? - Lola

“Pretty?” Tovar asks. “You may be thinking of the wrong person. People.”

“No need to be nervous,” Jack says with a grin. “Hi is perfectly nice. How are you?”

“I believe the phrase is, ‘it takes one to know one,’ Lola,” Ezra tells you. “You must be pretty as well, then.”

“I promise you, none of these losers should make you nervous,” Maxwell says lightheartedly.

“Hi,” Din offers.

“Don’t get down on yourself,” Javi says. “For once I agree with Maxwell.”

“I dunno, a bounty hunter, a vampire, whatever Jack has going on, a trained fighter?” Max starts. “There’s a lot of intimidating energy in here.” He winks at you.

Oberyn shakes his head. “No one here would hurt you unless you did something to warrant it,” he assures you. “Or if you like that.”

[onehellofanaskblog]

What if giraffe had a big mouth like the mouth went down neck? Would you be uncomfy? Middly disturbed? How many nights have you gone eating the same food staring into an ocean of neutrality like a bobbing palm leaf carrying the hope of a thousand shrimp into the unknown? I've eaten nothing but spaghetti for dinner for the past couple of nights and this will continue for several more.

“Definitely disturbed. Are you alright?” Max asks.

“I know exactly what you’re talking about regarding the food thing,” Ezra says. “I’ve spent who knows how many outings surviving on only ration bars.”

“Are you at least puttin’ different sauce on the spaghetti?” Jack asks.

“That’s a terrible mental image,” Maxwell says.

Javi, Tovar and Din seem to look at each other in concern.

“I feel I say this every time you grace us with your presence, but you are an interesting individual,” Oberyn says.

[onehellofanaskblog]

“Um, excuse me, rude,” Max says, mouth full.

Din just sort of stares at you for a moment and pretty much drops the chocolate he was giving Grogu right into the kid’s hands. Thankfully he catches it. He stammers for a moment before clearing his throat. “Yeah. Yeah, that sounds good.” He is definitely blushing under his helmet.

"On the chance of seeming like I'm playing favorites, I have to ask if" *insert dramatic pause here* Gro'ika will be my Valentine this year? But no worries guys, I brought enough chocolate and several in different varieties of sweet to bitter dark chocolate, and also some fruit for those who dont like candy for everyone to share as we celebrate yet another holiday. Though, Tovar, I do believe you would know it better as the Feast of Saint Valentine, though we celebrate it a bit different now."

Maxwell pokes through your collection of chocolate before taking the absolute darkest you have. Why he chooses to torture himself in this way, the world may never understand. He mumbles a thank you as he steps away to enjoy (?) it.

“The kid, huh?” Jack teases. “Thank you much, darlin’.”

Oberyn is immediately shoving fruit in his mouth, but he’s eyeing the chocolates like he’ll pounce on it at any moment.

“The one good thing about this holiday is the chocolate, honestly,” Javi says. “Too much fanfare I guess.”

“A little bit?” Tovar scoffs. “This is... definitely a departure.” He also takes some chocolate.

Ezra also takes a few pieces of chocolate, saying thanks. “I’m not sure what we would do without you bringing us treats like this so regularly.”

Max has already eaten like, three milk chocolates and as a couple strawberries in hand. “Y’know, you should get some chocolate dipped strawberries and do that thing with Din. You know what I’m talking about.” He winks suggestively.

Din is unwrapping a candy for the kid, who’s reaching out for it. “I see how it is,” he says sarcastically.

[onehellofanaskblog]

"Oh! Seeing the anon with the music, got me thinking about music that MIGHT be more familiar to Tovar. Hildegard von Blingin' on Youtude does bardcore covers of modern songs. I'm sure Max can get that pulled up for you all. And then there are some modern bands doing extant music like Al Medievo's Tempus est Iocundum from the Carmina Burana manuscript. Though... from what I was reading many of those poems were more... bawdy in their original forms, some things dont change much it seems?"

“That is certainly one thing that I have noticed. Many things have been changed drastically over time,” Tovar says. Max whips out his phone and starts pulling stuff up there. “Some things you all believe now are downright wrong.”

A few minutes pass as Max plays some of the music, and both Tovar and Oberyn seem interested.

“This is... much more familiar to me,” Tovar says.

“Quite the feat, being able to just play it whenever you want,” Oberyn adds.

[onehellofanaskblog]

"On the chance of seeming like I'm playing favorites, I have to ask if" *insert dramatic pause here* Gro'ika will be my Valentine this year? But no worries guys, I brought enough chocolate and several in different varieties of sweet to bitter dark chocolate, and also some fruit for those who dont like candy for everyone to share as we celebrate yet another holiday. Though, Tovar, I do believe you would know it better as the Feast of Saint Valentine, though we celebrate it a bit different now."

Maxwell pokes through your collection of chocolate before taking the absolute darkest you have. Why he chooses to torture himself in this way, the world may never understand. He mumbles a thank you as he steps away to enjoy (?) it.

“The kid, huh?” Jack teases. “Thank you much, darlin’.”

Oberyn is immediately shoving fruit in his mouth, but he’s eyeing the chocolates like he’ll pounce on it at any moment.

“The one good thing about this holiday is the chocolate, honestly,” Javi says. “Too much fanfare I guess.”

“A little bit?” Tovar scoffs. “This is... definitely a departure.” He also takes some chocolate.

Ezra also takes a few pieces of chocolate, saying thanks. “I’m not sure what we would do without you bringing us treats like this so regularly.”

Max has already eaten like, three milk chocolates and as a couple strawberries in hand. “Y’know, you should get some chocolate dipped strawberries and do that thing with Din. You know what I’m talking about.” He winks suggestively.

Din is unwrapping a candy for the kid, who’s reaching out for it. “I see how it is,” he says sarcastically.

[onehellofanaskblog]

Some Dvds are slid underneath the door with a note that reads: "For the kid, its been a while since I got him some new material. While Im sure he probably still watches stitch the most, here are some new ones to add to the mix." Included are: Soul, Into the Spider-Verse, Ratatouille, Wreck-it Ralph, Paddington Bear, and We Can Be Heroes.

Din looks over the choices and sighs in quiet relief. “Thank you. He gets into these kicks where he’ll only watch the same thing over and over again, so it’ll be nice to have some variation with them.”

“Aw man, I loved Spider-Verse,” Max says. “And Ratatouille’s a classic.”

“Y’all really gonna make us watch ourselves again?” Jack asks, holding up We Can Be Heroes.

Javi takes a look at the case. “Is that... Steve?”