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No More “Dear White People” Letters

Recently, I’ve noticed an influx of media directed toward educating white people on various Asian or Asian American things. Probably due to the popularity of “Fresh Off The Boat,” which I don’t watch. 

In the world of teachers, this idea has also been picked up, much to my chagrin and discomfort. They call it building a culturally responsive classroom. Even though there’s some good literature and interesting discourse there, I do feel at its core, there’s an intimation that we, as teachers, need to go out of our way to give as much explanation as possible and finesse the transition from ignoring students of color and the heterogeneity contained within such a phrase TO pointing out differences within the safe confines of white supremacy. Of course, I’m disheartened and pissed off.

Case in point:

I’ve only recently gotten to the point where I can write about this. About two weeks ago, one of my students (white, male) let me know that he was experiencing bullying from another student (white, male). I told him that I would try to be more cognizant of strife between them. Then, fast forward to a few days ago, his father calls the school and tells them that I had been ignoring the overt and explicit bullying happening in my classroom. And also, he was livid. Of course, he had to be livid. 

No such thing occurred, but I guess something about becoming parents makes us turn away from the lies our children tell. One more reason that I will never have kids. That’s another story. 

He tells my boss that the other kids had been mocking his white son by pulling their eyes back and calling him racial slurs directed at Asian people. 

First, what the fuck. 

Second,  I had indeed noticed that my students were doing that, but I chose to ignore it because I teach at a school full of racist fucks. That has become my cross to bear for just a few more weeks before I leave for good. 

The allegedly bullied student said that the bully and his compatriots did that to him because he had small eyes. Again, what the fuck. 

When confronted, the bully readily admitted that he had been doing that, but had no idea that I would perceive it as directed towards me. Of course, why would his Asian teacher think that racial slurs with the accompanied gesture and ACCENT (YES ACCENT) would be directed towards her? I really really wonder what it’s like to live in a world where you can be so irresponsibly and violently racist and receive no punishment just because you can claim some twisted version of ignorance. That must be the life indeed. Killing black people with impunity. Getting huffy with people call you out on it. Getting literally everything that others have to work twice as hard for. 

I’m tired. 

Here’s the cherry on top: 

I was told that I had to address the incident and discourage them from being the racist fucks they are so that I could have a culturally responsive classroom. I had to get up in front of those kids who I cannot stand, put on some yellowface, and tell them that their behavior was unacceptable. 

Why do we put on this show? Why do I have to be mock-angry and accept their mock-apologies? 

I love how admin were outraged because the student felt uncomfortable, not because I experience countless instances of micro-aggressions everyday. Of course, the white student feels uncomfortable. He feels attacked. Who gives a fuck about the Asian teacher and her feelings? 

I think my least favorite part has been the shocked looks of sympathy that people give me. 

“I can’t believe you go through that.”

“This is ridiculous”

“Completely shocking.”

No, it’s not shocking, you awful shits. It’s normal. It’s my normal. Your disbelief is simply another form of gaslighting me. You need to get over yourselves because I’m done writing letters to white people. I’m not here for that. 

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Young Adult Literature By Asian Americans

I teach English at an upper-middle-class predominantly-white public high school in the suburbs. It is relatively similar to my own high school experience except mine, for worse, included far more white and class privilege that I, at the time, failed to perceive. One of the particular aspects that the more-enlightened me sees differently is the type of books that we teach and circulate. 

As an English major and quasi-scholar, I read mostly dead British white male canonical literature because that was the type that received the highest cultural appraisal and earned me the most pats on the back and winks in secret. In other words, reading that stuff made me feel smart and accepted into white life.

Thank goodness I'm over that ridiculously-hollow phase and have branched off into more thoughtful prose. As such, I think that I am still mid-transition to my next mainstay, yet I find my current site of readership (??) very comfortable and full of possibilities.  

In addition, as part of my self-imposed teaching duties, I'm exploring a whole different world of literature: Young Adult, or YA, for short. 

Side note: I never understood why it was called young adult when the majority of characters are in their mid-to-late teens. I consider myself a young adult in my mid-twenties but rarely do I see myself in books, age-wise and race-wise and culture-wise. 

Side note 2: I used to sneer at this type of reading because most of it contains poor writing. Generally, I still believe this, but for the sake of understanding the current generation of (white) (wealthy) teenagers, I have taken the plunge and opened my mind to the possibilities. And, of course, the piss-poor articulation gets me every time, but now, I try to see beyond that...bringing me back to my train of thought. 

YA literature is extremely white. This is nothing new and several commentators smarter and more observant than I have noticed it. Indeed, the trend off-shoots into race bending in popular film adaptations. This shit continues to happen despite the fact so many have acknowledged, proven, and highlighted its larger cultural implications. Ghost in the shell anyone? Scarlett Johanssen no one. 

My observation about YA lit is more specific to my own experience as a reader. First, as an Asian-American, it was very rare for me to ever see myself in literature, classroom material, the world as perceived by the middle-class...But, at the time, I felt like that was simply my lot in life. You can't miss what you never had. No harm no foul.

After discovering Asam writers and playwrights in college, I found a whole new world. Like many who began the journey late, I was inaugurated into reading female Asam writers by the likes of Amy Tan and Maxine Hong Kingston. Now, I find parts of their work uncomfortable but at the time, it was water to a thirsty woman...

I saw myself and more importantly, I felt like I was part of a common experience, something growing up in the American south hardly yielded the only Asam in a classroom from K-12. Thirteen years of feeling like nothing. 

I see it now in my one Asam student, but the thing is, she has me and I reach out to her because I know how it feels when white supremacy makes you feel like you have no identity for 90% of your childhood. Nothing but tabula rasa. Thirteen years.

Now, reading YA lit written by Asam writers, particularly those of East-Asian descent, has led me to a disturbing observation. So many of their characters are white. Or, half-white. Or adopted by white people. Peripherally related is the fact that so many Asam women get off on saying/bemoaning/bragging/self-flagellating that they aren't into dating Asian dudes, which is really code for will only date white dudes. I swear, the statement and then, denial of racist tendencies are among our greatest hits. 

Examples.

I just finished reading the Hybrid Chronicles by Kat Zhang. Main character(s) are white and live out their dystopic existences in white exile and white love. The only hints of Asianness (can't be too obvious or white people won't like us anymore) bizarrely are the Mullan siblings who are some kind of non-white people but the particulars of their race is never disclosed. They are only described as "foreign" and easily identified. 

I finished reading Marie Lu's Legend series a few months ago and it was okay. The main characters are vaguely Asian plus vaguely white. My bet is that casting will go one way on that one. 

I also read a lot of British author Kazuo Ishiguro's recent work, which while amazingly written, lacks people of color.

I sat in Barnes and Nobles and read a chapter of Jenny Han's All The Boys I've Loved Before and sure as the day, her main characters were biracial, as in white x Korean. 

Side note 3: in these books, why are we never biracial with any other race than white? 

I was recently at a used book store and picked up Paula Yoo's Good Enough. It rehashes many Asam stereotypes: extremely studious, ivy league dreams, loves violin, and of course, love interest is named Ben Wheeler...

I could list and list and go on and on, but that would be rambling. I've alternated between thinking that this yet another manifestation of our self-loathing and that this could be something that those authors never really noticed because they were so busy, consciously or possibly even unconsciously, erasing themselves. Erasing traces of their Asianness in order to be less Asam or Asian-British. 

The centering of whiteness and consistent reinforcement of proximity to whiteness is not only really fucked up but also incredibly sad. Why do we feel the need to take ourselves out of the picture when we're already so rarely included? Why do we not write ourselves and our culture in non-stereotypical ways? Why do we almost endlessly perceive ourselves through the lens of white supremacy and then, enforce that? 

As an avid but never avid enough reader, I don't see this type of trend as visibly in the literature of other people of color. And I'm not condemning all Asam literature by any stretch of the imagination, but I've had trouble finding works that are not pandering to stereotypes or full of erasure. Some so far that I've liked are Chang Rae Lee's books and of course, those of the great Jhumpa Lahiri. If you have suggestions for a recovering canon reader, please let me know. 

I've vomited many of my thoughts en masse, so forgive the disarray. I've been away for too long. 

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Going Public with Activism

I waver between thinking I work with the most amazing, devoted selfless people in the world and feeling more than disappointed at their racist, homophobic, sexist, classist, and overall offensive remarks. I thought I could handle it when they say shit like "we still don't know the whole story in Ferguson." I thought I could just stay in my lane when they imply that a predominantly black school skews "otherwise fine" data on suspension rates. I thought I could refrain from sobbing that would seemingly never end when they compliment a "nice" white student who has said nothing but racist and sexist things to me. But I can't. And I refuse. I am tired of just surviving. I want to live and "stand in the sun" (scandal). 

A few days ago, the custodian who works in my hall was moved to another hall. During our department meeting, the point was raised that we "need to get him back."

"He is our family."

"Having a new janitor will not change my feelings about him and I will still give him $20 at xmas. He is family"

"Now, my trashcan is in a different place."

"I'm used to him. He always tells us that he'll lock our door for us." 

Is this even subtle? I don't think it's subtle. The language is incredibly paternalistic and almost anachronistic. We can't ignore the politics. My entire department is almost entirely comprised of white women. The custodian is an older, black man.

What bothers me not the fact that they wanted their routines to stay the same, but rather that it is couched in highly disturbing rhetoric. He is a person, not a favorite pet or favorite servant. They can still be friends with someone down the hall, but they don't really want friendship. They want someone to lock their doors for them or put their trashcans in the right spot. 

Why does love and friendship and life have to be on their terms? If I want to be friends with them, why do I have to sacrifice my comfort for theirs? Why am I afraid of being discovered? Why can't I be honest like they are honest? 

I can hear the reprimands. "They didn't mean it that way."

"Why are you being so sensitive?"

"Why aren't you being a team player?" 

"Why are you making EVERYONE so uncomfortable?"

"You're cherry-picking your facts and interpreting it in a messed up way. That says way more about you than them." 

I've heard all of it. If not articulated to my face, then through stares and hollow words. 

It's over for me. I'm going public with how I feel.

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a/Political Friendships

Hi all. Apologies for the absence--work has taken priority over the last few weeks. Lately, I've found that I spend almost 12 hours of my day at school and with very few personal and status rewards. 

Thank you to everyone who has listened me to guest on hyphenated-lives' fantastic podcast. I appreciate every bit of support and am glad that people listen. They are great! 

Recently, though, because I am rarely in romantic relationships, I defer thoughts to my friendships, which are few but deeply valued. Until the last few years, I found that I could make friends anywhere but since getting it, I've stopped looking in my workplace. The work place dictates a specific set of performance, I think. And it makes me wonder that if I should check my activism and my beliefs at the door. Should I keep my head down and deal with the emotional backlash later? Should I just follow the generally conservative culture of my school just to survive? Or do I become a cyborg? 

In my class, I shared an article that mentioned cyborg lives, which resulted in great conversations with the kids. Sometimes, I do love the kids and their openness and naivate. For those who don't know, cyborgs are people who reconfigure society's negative/detrimental-to-life labels of them and become this hybrid machine/human. Reframing labels and negativity to survive. I don't think that life should be glorified because it implies a certain degree of complicity but it is something that happens. I want to be all human all the time. The dream.  

At work, I'm feisty to say the least. In graduate school, one of my professors called me feisty. Needless to say, I think it's apt because I am angry at all times. I guess it's a lifestyle. 

Just to give some context, at my school, among young faculty, there are very few social experiences to choose from. It's limited pretty much to basic white people and their very problematic approach to life. I cringe whenever conversations turn to issues of diversity. I.E. once, a teacher mentioned her love of deaf culture and proudly announced how she learned sign language in college. I just--couldn't function. I sat there stunned. I remembered the trauma of being in my study abroad program and how I felt completely essentialized and defined by white people's definitions of asian-ness. Other poc teachers, on the other hand, simply overlooked the intersectionality, as usual...all intersectionality. 

This is the part that bothers me. Are they being cyborgs? I don't think so; I think they are self policing. And their self-policing annoys me but that's not my call. What really gets me is when the policing spills over and affects me. Being attacked for using profanity (by poc teachers) when white teachers use profanity freely without comment from them strikes me as largely unequal and I'm not for that life.

I've been told that  I make the white teachers uncomfortable and I should cease with profanity. Well, when white teachers talk about the legitimacy of blackface that makes me uncomfortable. When they praise racist white male students who have targeted me without reservation, they don't get shit. Then, I forget, my opinions don't matter. My comfort level doesn't matter. It's implied that I need to shut my mouth and my thoughts for the "greater good" which is code for ....I don't even need to say.

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Racist Reactions To My Language On Twitter (And What It Really Means...)

Me: *speaks Jamaican Patwah/Patois*

Racist: "This is America, speak English! No other languages are ever spoken here, and this country founded on genocide/settler colonialism and anti-Blackness/slavery should only involve the languages that I choose to hear, though I encroached your personal space and interrupted your conversation in a dialect that you were not speaking to me in."

Me: *speaks African American Vernacular English*

Racist: "This is America and I don't care if AAVE is actually a language with a structure, discussed by linguists everywhere, and if it is one we will later be appropriative for marketing purposes while continuing to profit from economic violence on Black people. I don't like how AAVE sounds right now and I don't want to hear it, even though I encroached your personal space and interrupted your conversation in a language that you were not speaking to me in."

Me: *speaks Standard American English*

Racist: "What, so you think you're smarter than me, why are you trying to be White? Gonna take my job? Well, you misspelled a word on Twitter, so I am still smarter. Why did you use some big words? They're stupid. I am going to ignore the context and topic of your conversation and mask my insecurity--over never realizing that the lies I was fed about my automatic intellectual superiority are in fact lies--by making jokes about word length versus leaving you alone/not invading your space or actually addressing the topic the words were about."

Me: *uses terms attributable to womanist/Black feminist scholarship, critical race theory or other anti-oppression theories/praxes*

Racist: "I haven't approved use of these words, so I will call them stupid. It...well...doesn't matter to me that a key facet of White supremacy--with a very long history and reality no less--is degrading the intelligence of a Black woman, or committing epistemic violence, by purposely altering/attacking the language used to describe oppression in order to engage in an ahistorical analysis that supports oppression. I don't like that you can describe my violence with acute accuracy, so I will use violence to critique that perspective. You're a pseudo-intellectual if I don't understand what you are saying, don't want my privilege or violence critiqued with an accuracy that Black thinkers have had for centuries nor want to acknowledge that I am purposely kept ignorant of Black radical scholarship because of White supremacy."

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"I don't subscribe to stereotypes"

Everyday from 8:50 to 3:45, I've probably thought, "I need to blog about this" a million times.

Everyday, my students complete a journal entry and today's topic was "Describe a moment when your beliefs were challenged." Cognitive dissonance was such a part of my life for the last few years that I was curious about the types of internal conflicts that my students go through. One of my examples for them was realizing that they were stereotyping someone and thinking through that process of realizing that particular stereotype was inaccurate. Most students were receptive (read: silent) about this and continued on. 

I have one white male student who believes himself to be a philosopher at 14, which in and of itself is a great place to be. Indeed, he's opinionated and passionate: two things I wish for my students. But, it does lead to some degree of complacency. His response to my prompt was that he didnt' subscribe to stereotypes; he was beyond them. Keep in mind, this is the same kid who told me that America's fear of the politically-incorrect was leading to this disturbing trend of "over-equality," aka allowing too many black kids to get into college over the white kids. Lord, how many times have I heard this argument? Where are these mythical black kids who get in over everyone? The numbers don't show this. Indeed, none of the statistics have ever implied that affirmative action has lead to a deluge of poc at universities. 

The basis of this argument is that white people are qualified and non-white people are not qualified. I even had students try to bring in the model minority argument to further shit on black people. Luckily, that's one that I'm able to field pretty well. But, I'm so over it. It's gross. 

What do you say to 14-year-old  philospher kings who "don't believe in stereotypes" and give off an air of self-righteousness and problematic objectivity? 

In a classroom of everywhere politics, teacher of color, white students, students of color, there's so much richness to mine but also so many things to overcome. 

What do you guys think? 

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Why Teachers of Color are Necessary, pt. II

After an assignment, one of my white male students raised his hand and made the comment to the effect of, "It's absolutely ridiculous that just because a teacher is Mexican, he will reach more Mexican students." Many laughed in response, I'm sure, at the fact that he mentioned an ethnicity as a punchline. 

Such moments are, unfortunately, not rare in my classroom. 

I can't say that I was completely shocked at the level of his ignorance or white privilege. In his world, he does not have to consider the feelings of minorities.

Something akin to kinship is felt when one member of a vulnerable population sees another, I think. As someone who grew up in a predominantly white suburb, I always felt a flutter in my chest coupled with a vague feeling of guilt whenever I saw another member of my race. During graduate school, I learned that the latter was a result of my double consciousness. Indeed, measuring one's worth by another's yardstick becomes tiring after 20 some years.

In another teacher's classroom, posted above her bulletin board hangs a poster that reads, "everyone is the same. do not discriminate." She had all of her students sign the pledge. In her mind like those of many, racial recognition is conflated with racism, an reflex that is, in and of itself, telling. 

She proudly tells me, "I don't see color," and then proceeds to recount how one of her students greets her in that "black girl way." I sip my tea. 

Mentioning or acknowledging race does not equal racism. Reducing a group of people to a stereotype, however, does. Using that stereotype to deny people housing, jobs, and humanity definitely does. Despite the fact that this concept has been articulated countless times by people smarter than I am, it continues to be ignored. 

It is problematic to have teachers who cannot acknowledge race without filtering it through a stereotype. It results in situations like this. The fact that some New York teachers have sported t-shirts in support of the NYPD after the tragic murder of Eric Garner is shameful and more than inappropriate. Coming to school only to see that your instructor does not view your life as valuable destroys trust and puts up obstacles to learning. The classroom becomes a hostile environment. I really feel for those students and hope that somewhere in their schools they have supporters who will sincerely work alongside them for their success. 

Obviously, those teachers should receive some sort of reprimand or at least formal rebuke, but with many of these situations, as we have seen, time and time again, supporters will defend the indefensible.

During my teacher orientation, we did not have a single training session on diversity. Apparently, our county subscribes to the same ideology as my student. These incidents throw into sharp relief the need to have teachers of color in classrooms. This does not mean that white teachers cannot be great advocates for their students of color, but having a figure of authority who looks like you engenders some degree of trust. Sharing the same experience enables teachers to become mentors and guides for students in ways that white teachers cannot be.

I have never had a teacher of my race the entire time from K-12. I think it may have been part of the reason I felt alienation from my school life. Until college, I had no visible role model in the classroom to empathize with me. While I was "successful," it doesn't negate the feelings of insecurity or shame that I was often made to feel when I didn't correctly navigate some kind of cultural obstacle. One of the micro contributions that I hope to make is to spare or at least lessen in my students those selfsame feelings. 

More thoughts on this to come...

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Why Teachers of Color Are Necessary: What Keeps Me Up At Night

This year, I teach ninth grade students. They're well-behaved and eager to please, a shift from the jaded and battle-worn students from last year. Truth be told, I like them because when we have discussions, they hear out other points of view and modify their own. Being stubborn and uncompromising isn't something that they particularly value. I think I've taken a page from their book and am trying to keep an open mind and not unfairly shut down anyone. Needless to say, it's been both liberating and eye opening. 

In light of this, some thoughts.

In the wake of Ferguson and too many similar incidents, I think that there are very few revelations that can shake me to my core. Or cause shivers to run down my back. Everything that needs to be said has been said more times than can count, yet people refuse to listen. 

One of my students David* was recently suspended from school for one day. He threw a condiment packet in the cafeteria which hit another student, earning him in-school-suspension for the rest of day. He allegedly mouthed off to an administrator, landing him out-of-school suspension for the next day. He came to school and violated the terms of OSS, increasing his punishment to another day of OSS. All for what? Kids being kids? French fries and plastic forks litter the ground; I'm sure not all of those were gently placed there. 

Normally, I would side with my fellow beleaguered teachers and administrators. Normally, I would see consequences as something necessary. Normally, I would leave work at work, not running tirelessly and relentlessly through my mind at breakneck speeds.

David is black. He is male. He has been in the foster care system for a good portion of his life. Again, a narrative too often colored by racist ideology and never examined critically or meaningfully enough.

Like my students, I was re-examining my realities, and it struck me, mid-thought, that punishments were meted out unfairly. Obviously, this is something I was always keenly aware of: policing and criminalization of black bodies doesn't start in middle-age. But suddenly, I realized that it was happening on my turf and on my watch.

It bought me back to an incident from last year when a troubled white, male student from a middle class background complained about me and my co-teacher to an administrator. For the record, my co-teacher and I are both women and I am a person of color. He told them that we had refused to administer a quiz to him, creating a textbook story of white male victimhood. My co-teacher and I became vicious, bitter shrews who were determined to keep a good (white) man down. Ain't that always the story? 

Here's my version. He asked to use his phone on a quiz. As per school rules, phones are not allowed without the permission of the teacher. Other students did not get to use their phones; no one else complained. I didn't want to give him an unfair advantage, but I forgot that whiteness demands advantage.

Immediately after school, a white male administrator forced me to give up my time to give this student his quiz. I had to offer him use of his phone. I felt humiliated. I felt cheated. Feelings of anguish bubbled up to the surface. I wept for myself. 

There is a problem when administrators do not believe teachers. It becomes more complex when the politics of gender and race are examined. This student who routinely skipped my class and refused to abide by school rules was an exception. I know people will try to explain away this situation and discredit me. That is nothing new. Scrutiny is always placed on the victim, who more times than not tend to be female, a person of color, and/or lower-class. Imagine that. 

Earlier last week, one of my coworkers, a young popular white female teacher let me know that the student had emailed her about his progress in college. 

What happened next stunned me. She and another teacher praised this student's ability to get beyond his "troubled situation" and apply himself. They focused on his ability to tap into his "natural talent" He was a "good kid" at heart. 

They knew what he had done to me. In this day and age, a student's word can destroy a teacher's career. And yet, they praised him. He violated more rules than I can count and never received punishment. There was never one after-school detention, let alone suspension. 

And here is David. Someone who has to accept the trials and tribulations of "troubled situation" without any advocacy or excuses. Hot tears seared through my eyelids on my drive home as they are now. 

During his meeting, he sat in the room unable to look at his foster parents or teachers. He sat there in shame and embarrassment. I wanted to shout across the table that he shouldn't have to feel shame. It's the system that's shameful. It is the system that has failed him and not the other way around. 

The next day, I gathered my courage and pulled him in a private conversation in the hall. I told him that the system is rigged. Some people will succeed and others will be scapegoated. I told him that I was on his side and what happened to him was unfair. 

I don't know if my words meant anything, but I do know that I'm just getting started. I will no longer just sit idly by and watch students persecuted unfairly and over-zealously.

David is one of many black students who never get a fair shake at life. He is not singular in that respect. As a teacher of color, I know that my other role in the room is advocate because too often, these students have no one to see their humanity and innocence. 

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The Losing Battle of Teacher Retention Rates

I have just finished my first year of teaching (thank goodness), and if I were go to back to Day One, I would have been almost tempted to tell myself not to begin. Almost. 

One of the many downsides of working in a state with limited resources and a legislature run amok is that you never really get to do what you signed up for. For me, that was teaching English. I had mapped out my first year as a surefire success for teaching writing, something that I felt relatively confident in. After all, a fair amount of my graduate school education was devoted to becoming the next academic superstar of eliminating writer's block. However, my confidence was misplaced. 

I teach at predominantly white, affluent school that, in a random stroke of district drawing, also includes pockets of poverty. My school's awkward culture deliberately emphasizes athletics over academics and places the self-worth of many students of color on their athletic ability. That is a post for another time, but something for sure worth thinking about. Side note: I did have a student tell me that "football was his only hope for college." I get the struggle, but to hear it spelled out in such a matter-of-fact way, I shudder. 

Despite all of the nonsense and backstabbling politics that often ensues from administration-teacher friction, our school was still named one of the best schools in the country. It really hits home how ridiculous ranking systems are. Even so, since the beginning of the year, my school has lost close to 20 teachers, which many leaving in the middle of the year. These are veteran teachers who have devoted years of their lives to teaching kids history, drama, and chemistry. To know that they've been pushed to this point makes it all the more real for me. Especially since I know, from the bottom of my cynical, emotionally wooden soul, that teachers are the most amazing humans ever. I've never met a group of more thoughtful individuals who despite incredibly shit-tastic conditions are willing to do more with less on a daily basis with relatively little grumbling. Who does that? 

Side note #2 I hesitate to include myself in the number because one, I'm so green and two, I definitely did my fair amount of complaining and mental cursing with the added effects of hand gestures, mostly unseen.

In all seriousness, I've met many an academic superstar in my life, but not many can really compare to public school teachers. I can't emphasize how surprised I am at the uniformity of devotion across subject areas. Like close to 100% of my coworkers are amazing people who spend hours after school on their own time doing good for your children. Some of them, on close to $35k. Again, who does that?? 

I want to bring up the dire issue of teacher retention because in my state, it's not happening. And their reasons for leaving are realistic. It's the policies that aren't. I have a lot more to say on this, and I hope that people will continue to listen. There are far too many teachers, especially teachers of color (much. more. on. this.) who suffer in silence. Stay tuned.