orangetreeandtea

[orangetreeandtea]

Hoy me vi vieja

Y fue hermoso.

Me vi con canas, el pelo gris, petisa.

Alegre, contenta, risueña.

Soñando todavía~

[orangetreeandtea]

My best friend I am losing my best friend. Her time is near, I am not sure if she is aware. She has not lost the light in her eyes, my biggest fear is to watch it fade away. I wouldn't do that to you, because you wouldn't do that to me. You are my healer, my angel, my peace. I want to be that for you too. And that could mean letting you go.

Fly my darling, heaven awaits for you, you will swim in the colours, gently exist in the eternal peace you were made for, and you will watch over me. I will be looking for you in every place, every time I'm lost, every time I feel happiness. I am not without you.

I have loved you with all my heart, it was yours since the beggining. We have always been alike, and we will always be togheter .You are still here, and I will miss you for the rest of my life. I am enternally gratefull. This is my way of saying thank you. You deserve a lifetime without pain, and that is what we gave each other. You will be free, and one day, we will float in existence togheter. You will smile and I will carress you. Us again, forever. Te abrazo por siempre

[orangetreeandtea]

Fear.

I am an adult, and I am still scared. The screams, the loud noises, the floor cracking beneath me, shaking and twisting itself. Is it that I haven't grown? Is it the lack of means? Or is my mind forever ruined by the threads of my life story?

I am an adult now; I no longer dream of someone coming to rescue me, I am aware that it is not real. The castles are down. They were destroyed by my shaky hands, the rush of my heart, and the tears down my face, realizing that I can not escape now. I used to be so strong, so much might for a change.

And even then... sometimes I pray for a different life. I reach my hand through the bars, and I feel the streaks of sunlight. The warmth makes me plead one more time. I dream once again of a different lifetime, where this is far away and I am free.

[orangetreeandtea]

Today I had a really hard day. But if I close my eyes... the scene changes It is a bright blue sky, completely quiet. The grey house that will forever be a mystery blocks a bit of the view, but I can still see the birds resting on the cable. Inside, there is a warm feeling, like the colour orange. The floor has a weird texture, the chairs feel strange when you move them, they are different from the ones we have at home. The kitchen's silence is only interrupted by the static noise and our voices. Everything is on its place. I sit with you, and your hand is near, the big curls touching your shoulders, and I can feel the love you have for me. You can't help it. I am your favorite granddaugther. You made me a cozy drink and we talk. We love listening to each other. You tell me about old memories, and I tell you about the few ones I have. You were the first thing I loved, and I would be your last. We are surrounded by a beatiful yellow light, it circles around us, like the smallest fairies. Laughter, stories, adoration. Magic. Today I had a really hard day, and I wish I could go to your house to rest on your shoulder. Today life has no meaning, and I can't help but wish you still existed so I could relearn the meaning again. It was right there with you, in the lines in your face, the tone of your voice, and the way you held my hand. I miss your arms because you were everything I had, so strong and soft and brave that the world was insignificant around you. Could you stay a little longer?

[orangetreeandtea]

Glad I walked (with Sasha)

[orangetreeandtea]

Orange Tree and Tea

Hello, my name is Liesel.

I have been thinking about creating a blog for some time now. I wanted a place where I could express my thoughs, just post my silly little things and have some sort of record of my life. But a place like ig felt to public. I want a private space, I don't expect anyone to read this, but If you came across it, I hope you feel welcomed. I have really fond memories of reading random blogs as a child, I hope that I can create a similar feeling trought this one.

I am currently healing from a series of tramatic events, and I want to get better. I aspire to a peaceful life. That is also the reason why I am creating this space, to have something to look foward to. My astrology teacher insists that I should write something during my pluto transit, so here I am I guess. She says that this also shall pass, but I need to navegate this darkness, swim in it, with the confidence that I will be back at the surface. God knows I love her.

Anyways, here is some random shit about me. I'm studying to become a Legal Translator and an Astrologer (for anyone curious I'm a taurus sun, leo moon and a gemini rising, although I will probably be writing a lot about astrology xd). I love animals, art and nature. I am some sort of witch, but I don't know what kind yet. I love the sun, the night time and the sea.

I miss my grandparents more than anything.

My dearest dream is to own a house, big, cozy and silent, surrounded by nature and animals, maybe a family. To sit quetly, feel the wind and breathe.

I am a lesbian. Being part of the sapphic community is the kindest and most beautiful part of my life and my self. I am also terrified of it. I'm probably trans as well, but I haven't explored that whole world yet.

Well, I don't think I have anything else to say for now. This is a safe space. Queers, trans people, poc, disabled folks, you are all so welcomed and I am so glad that you are here in this world with me. Take care of yourself, be kind and be genuine. It is all that it takes.

Warm regards, Lizi.