ordinarywirelessmicrophone

[ordinarywirelessmicrophone]

I turned off targeted advertising and it’s been great. The only problem is that my feed is now spamming me with endless ads for AI girlfriends. I don’t want an AI “girlfriend”. It does not “understand me”. I just want it to crawl back into whatever digital hole it came from and never return.

[ordinarywirelessmicrophone]

in honor of phineas and ferb coming back can you imagine being a disney investor in the early 2000s watching some guys' storyboard pitch and you're like "oh this seems funny and cute but also relatively normal for a children's television show" and then this happens without warning

[ordinarywirelessmicrophone]

“Covid game me narcolepsy” no you fucking pervert it didn’t. You’re just a weirdo with a gross fetish. Covid didn’t make you suddenly want to fuck dead people. Keep that shit to yourself you gods damned weirdo

I have type 2 Narcolepsy. Studies have shown that serious viral infections can cause people to develop Narcolepsy if they are already genetically susceptible to having it. This includes covid. That is what happened to me.

You on the other hand might want to google the difference between Narcolepsy and Necrophilia….

[ordinarywirelessmicrophone]

i can make jokes this bad because i know none of my posts will ever blow up. unlike soldiers who fight for land they will never own

state of the world so dire scientists brought back the wolf

[ordinarywirelessmicrophone]

state of the world so dire scientists brought back the wolf

[ordinarywirelessmicrophone]

why is ao3 is blocked on the hospital wifi????

[ordinarywirelessmicrophone]

my sister walked into my room, put her hands behind her back and went "here's what Obama would sound like if he was gay: so uhhhh let me be queer" and then asked me if I could give her money so she could see linkin park

[ordinarywirelessmicrophone]

i stayed at an AirBNB last night and look at these stairs

Everything is wrong with these stairs. The steps are too tall and narrow, there’s no railing, the whole section at the top. Exactly two of the stairs are carpeted.

[ordinarywirelessmicrophone]

[ordinarywirelessmicrophone]

Here's a pro tip: When you're arguing with your significant other never say "ooh white girl is mad as fuck"

[ordinarywirelessmicrophone]

Haiku bot, what. What is this.

Hey how’s it going? I like your tower, it’s very damp. The locusts are coming. It’s not my fault. Cool hat btw.

hey thanks, i really apprecia—wait what

[ordinarywirelessmicrophone]

my fyp did a thing

[ordinarywirelessmicrophone]

Everyone thinks they’re radicalized these days. Well start blowing shit up then

[ordinarywirelessmicrophone]

✨ Please reblog the polls to make them reach out to as many people as possible, but KEEP IT SPOILER-FREE to make people listen to the music with an open mind 💖 Artists and titles will be revealed after the poll's conclusion, check the original post for an update! ✨

Please don't spoil, this is not a quiz. :)

[ordinarywirelessmicrophone]

i was seeing all these little blue flowers everywhere and kept thinking "dang what are these bitches, i can't remember..." well guess what. they were fuckin forget-me-nots. can't believe i failed step fucking 1, the hot girls on iNaturalist are going to laugh at me and i'm gonna flunk out of hobby botany school.

[ordinarywirelessmicrophone]

new pope just dropped

[ordinarywirelessmicrophone]

What if there was an episode of the Magnus Archives where someone comes in to make a statement but it’s very clear that it’s just about a normal thing.

“As I looked at the man, I realized that something was terribly wrong. His head had… no… hair at all. The skin on his forehead just continued upward. His entire head was covered with that strange, smooth skin. Then he moved, and I swear I saw his head *reflect* the light.”

It’s still a supernatural event that can’t be recorded electronically. No one knows why.