ore11 - Tumblr blog

ore11 · 2 years ago

Text

x : NOT JEALOUS ! :*+ﾟ

in which: alhaitham isn't jealous, he doesn't get jealous, so what is this suffocating feeling in his chest that only happens when you're talking to another man that isn't him?

warnings: 5.4k words, jealous!alhaitham x gn!reader who has loads of rizz, university!au, fluff with angst but happy ending, pining!alhaitham who doesn't realise that he loves you, kaveh is there, mention of cyno, ooc at some bits?, swearing, alhaitham is a little bit of an asshole at some parts sawry. he's bad with feelings.

a/n: inspired by @danijaci's jealous jealous boy comic with alhaitham! hi dani if you're reading this pls don't perceive me... hides... but i hope you all like it :,)

Alhaitham isn’t jealous.

The uncomfortable feeling obstructing itself in his throat is just because he’s beginning to develop a sore throat- that’s all. It is flu season after all, who knows what kind of bacteria are in the air? Ones capable of lathing an uncomfortable oil that burns inside his chest, the smog crowding its way into his heart, sickening him to his core as Alhaitham can’t help but eavesdrop on the conversation happening beside him.

“I’m free friday,” a voice besides you confirms.

“Okay!” you cheer, sounding a little too happy for Alhaitham’s liking. After all, it’s 9 am, who has this much energy in the morning? “lets do Friday then!”

“Sounds good, I’ll see you then. Bye Y/n.”

“Bye, see you!” Alhaitham watches from the corner of his eye as you wave to the random stranger you’ve decided to associate yourself with before finally taking the seat beside him with a sigh.

He doesn’t say anything to you, feeling your eyes glance at him expectantly as he stares stubbornly at the lecture board instead of acknowledging you or the jumble of feelings clogging up his diaphragm.

“Hello, you,” You lean over slightly, careful to not invade his personal space whilst waving at him, hoping to catch his attention. He glances at you, nodding in greeting before returning to his book, the pages and rows of words only fuelling his unease he suddenly felt. He doesn’t even know where he left off, the book’s events a blur in Alhaitham’s mind.

How bothersome. What’s happening to him?

“Talkative today, aren’t you?” Your tone is playful despite his cold attitude and Alhaitham sneaks another look in your direction, noting the way your lips curve upwards. “So, how are you?”

“I’m fine,” he murmurs, inserting a bookmark between the pages before slamming it shut, an indicator that you could keep conversing with him.

“Cool.” You tap your nails on the desks of the lecture hall. “Oh, I finished my essay the other day.”

“The one for your elective?”

You hum in agreement, “I hope I never get it back. Submitted it ten minutes before the due date.”

“You know you wouldn’t have been stressed over it if you just started it earlier-”

“I know, I know,” you huff, “spare your productivity lectures for another time, I’ll be needing them later in the semester.” The grey-haired shakes his head as you laugh, but his gaze returns to the front cover of his book as he solemnly thinks about the interaction you had with another man, right in front of him.

(What right did he have to see you smiling so earnestly like that?)

“Who was that?” Alhaitham coughs out, barely choking down his pride in time to make space for the question.

You murmur some guy’s name that he doesn’t bother to remember. “He’s a friend of mine in the same discussion group for this course and we decided to do the assignment together. He bumped into me on the way in so we were just planning when to meet to do the research.”

“Oh.” Your answer doesn’t calm the churning in Alhaitham’s gut. Not even one bit, in fact, it makes it worse.

But it’s not jealousy, Alhaitham doesn’t get jealous because he’s above petty feelings of inadequacy. He’s merely concerned for you, worried for your brainpower by the end of the project because your partner seems less-than-incompetent. If you’d picked someone like Alhaitham (or better yet, just picked Alhaitham), you would’ve aced the class without even blinking an eye.

(The two of you are friends, so why didn’t you pick him? It’s literally been proven that the two of you are compatible working together since you were both executives of Sumeru’s Cultural Society, and amidst all of the activities the club has run, you’ve collaborated many times to make each event run flawlessly. So why not him? Why would you pick another man over him?)

“You know you could have picked me, I wouldn’t mind working on the assignment with you,” he grumbles, words soft but very clear.

Alhaitham misses the way your eyes widen in shock as apologies scramble out of your mouth. “I’m sorry! I automatically assumed that you wanted to work on it by yourself. Next time I’ll ask you.”

The lecture begins before he could say anything in return and like a robot, he sets his thoughts aside and begins listening, notes document up and cursor blinking at the ready.

A mundane two hours pass by, one powerpoint slide after powerpoint slide before the lecture is finally over, much to your pleasure. Alhaitham notices the way you eagerly jump out of your seat to stretch, grabbing your bag. On the other hand, your grey-haired accomplice takes his time in packing up, forcing you to wait for him.

“Would you like to get some coffee before the meeting?” You ask.

“Sure, we can find a seat there and join it together,” he adds and you beam at him, expression bright and so enchanting that it makes him forget about all the perplexities he felt before the lecture.

The two of you make your way to one of the many campus cafés where you practically wrestled Alhaitham to stop him from paying for both your orders (losing in the end) before sitting at a booth, your laptop set up with a pair of Alhaitham’s earphones shared between you. The meeting begins to fill up with almost all committee members, even Kaveh, who resides in his room of his and Alhaitham’s shared flat. Upon noticing him, you go to text him, with the grey-haired peeking over your shoulder from time to time to see your conversation- not that he cares that much.

(Perhaps if Kaveh glanced up from his phone, then he’d see how close Alhaitham had gotten with you, breaching the distance that he prefers to keep around others. He’d also notice the headphone sharing despite how he generally tends to keep them out of anyone else’s hands.)

You’re tasked with the role of taking notes for the meeting since Alhaitham, in your opinion, is not at all a reliable scribe. His notes tend to just include vital information and never what everyone else needs to know, yet each time you scold him for it, his unbothered expression never falters, waving your complaints off with a shrug.

“Hey, Kaveh and I are going to go for lunch tomorrow after our classes. Care to join?” You ask, smiling at him hopefully as your messages with Kaveh sit open on your screen. Alhaitham doesn’t think twice before agreeing.

── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──

“It looks like it’s about to rain,” you murmur, pulling out a chair as Alhaitham and Kaveh take their seats opposite you.

“So it does,” Alhaitham notes, not caring to look too long out the window before returning his gaze to you. “You have an umbrella, right?”

“I, uh, didn’t think I needed one today.”

“Do you not check the weather before you leave?”

“Not everyone’s like you, Alhaitham.” Kaveh teases. “It’s no problem, Y/n, if it rains I can walk you back to your dorm.”

“Only if you are okay with it,” you insist, “I have no problem walking home in the rain. I love the rain.”

Alhaitham intervenes with a raise of his hand. “Nonsense, you’ll catch a cold. We’ll walk you home.”

A soft but genuine ‘thank you’ slips from your lips, neither of you wiser to the way Kaveh eyes his roommate suspiciously, not missing the use of ‘we’ in his sentence and the implications the collective pronoun has. For it meant that Alhaitham is willing to take precious time out of his day to perform an act for someone that he is not indebted to do. Not that Alhaitham is inherently selfish, per se, but he is a man of routine. He wakes up every morning and takes five minutes to scribble on his stupid whiteboard in the kitchen what he has to do for the day and strictly abides by it, not even straying two minutes off schedule.

Willingly volunteering his minutes? Kaveh finds that suspicious.

“So, how’s your architecture assignment, Kaveh?” You ask, breaking the blond from his daze whilst Alhaitham pours glasses of water for the table, starting with your cup.

“A nightmare,” he sighs, sinking into his chair. “I still have so much to do, you know my professor didn’t like my blueprint? How ridiculous! I hope that man steps in a puddle and wets his sock.”

The grey-haired pipes up with a remark. “I can’t wait for it to be done, our living room is a mess right now.”

“Hey, I am the one that cleans that living room, thank you very much. Your bookshelf is still a mess even though I’ve asked you to clean it five times.”

“If it bothers you so much then why don’t you do it yourself?”

“I’m the only one who-”

“-I’m going to go to the bathroom,” you murmur, cutting the conversation before shuffling out of your chair, seemingly eager to do so.

Kaveh turns to the grey-haired again, “and you just scared away Y/n.”

“Sorry no one wants to hear about your architecture project.”

“Y/n literally asked, asshole.”

A rebuttal sits on the tip of Alhaitham’s tongue- as it always does when it comes to bickering with his roommate, but it dies out when an intruder comes to the table. “Excuse me, I hate to interrupt,” he begins, “but the person who just got up, is that your friend?”

“Yeah, why do you ask?”

“Oh, I just wanted to drop this off, mind passing it over for me?” The piece of paper he was holding lands in Kaveh’s hand. “Thanks, bro.” Is all he says before strolling away, out of sight but definitely not out of mind.

The blond does not hesitate to open it up, chuckling in amusement when reading the content. “’Hey you’re cute, here’s my number’ it says. What a bitch! You didn’t like his vibes either, right, Alhaitham?”

“Hold on, what does the note say?”

Grabbing (snatching) it from Kaveh, the grey-haired has half a mind to rip the note apart, a certain sense of distaste washing over him that intensifies the long he stares at the guy’s handwriting. His eye is twitching. Why is his eye twitching?

“Hey!” He hears Kaveh call. “Don’t scrunch it, that’s Y/n’s-“

Alhaitham stuffs the ball of paper into his bag where he’ll recycle it later even though something irrational within him tells him to burn it. “Y/n won’t miss it. You said it yourself, he’s a bitch.”

“Sure, but why are you doing-“

“Hey!” You interrupt, sliding back into your chair with a grin on your face. “So, what did I miss?”

“Nothing,” the grey-haired murmurs, assuming his crossed-arm position. Kaveh side eyes his roommate before agreeing with a hum. “Let’s order something now. We want to beat the rain, right?”

── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──

This meeting for the Sumeru Society might have been one of the most important ones of the year thus far, with almost every committee member expected to attend. After all, the annual ball was a big event that always had the largest turnout, and the amount of planning that goes into it to ensure its success is almost triple that of its other events.

So why weren’t you here?

“Why did you leave the meeting early on Friday?” Alhaitham asks as soon as he sees you.

You pause briefly, eyes widening and eyebrows raising. It must have been the way that Alhaitham’s voice raised a pitch towards the end of the question, demonstrating a nervous break in character that was not at all typical. Cool and collected would be the defining words to describe Alhaitham, as well as someone who does not care for the menial activities of others, so what is he doing asking you? And why does he care so much?

“I, uh, had dinner with someone,” you confess, continuing to grab your books and laptop, missing the way his features contort into something un-cool, and very un-Alhaitham.

“Whom?”

You murmur the name of some other guy, who he vaguely recalls to be your project partner.

“What?” Alhaitham snaps.

“I didn’t think missing out on some of the meeting would be a big deal! I got another committee member to explain what I missed,” you justified. “Besides, there’s no big events going on right now, so I thought-”

“-That you could abandon your tasks and go have fun with someone else?”

Alhaitham’s not really sure why he said that. He’s not angry that you skipped a meeting; there are larger things in the world to worry about, he’s angry because you spent time with another guy that wasn’t him.Why not go to dinner with him instead? He spends it every night with Kaveh, and you are far more favourable than Kaveh.

“Is it really something to get mad over? I already told you, I got the meeting notes and everything-”

“-You’re an executive of the society, Y/n, more is expected from you.”

“Seriously?” you ask, “how come you didn’t bat an eye when the vice president wasn’t there the other day?”

“Because she was sick.”

“Okay, fine! what about the subcommittee? they’re not always there either!”

“They’re subcom. Whether they miss a meeting or not is not crucial.”

“So, it’s just my business that you care about?” You ask, eyebrows furrowed, disbelief clouding over your expression like a mask.

Again, Alhaitham doesn’t know where these punches are coming from and why he’s throwing them against you so viciously, but his heart is tightening defensively with a burning emotion that he’s been feeling more and more recently, and his first instinct is to lash out, to protect himself from it.

Perhaps it’s because foreign things that he can’t understand terrify him and you, all you ever do is make him feel things that he’s never felt before and he can’t understand why.

“You’re not that special.”

A flash of hurt gleams in your eyes and Alhaitham knows now that he’s royally fucked up. “You’re an ass,” you grumble, about to walk away when he intercepts.

“Listen to me!”

“Fuck off!”

“Y/n-”

You’re gone before he can get another word out, retreating figure stomping away whilst his chest weaves into knots; something that no amount of deep breathing can calm. It doesn’t help that the minute he returns home, Kaveh is onto him like some sort of parasite, curious over the tense air surrounding his normally-composed roommate.

“Hey, welcome home- whoa, what’s gotten into you?” The blond asks.

“None of your business,” Alhaitham grumbles through gritted teeth, taking his shoes off and throwing them aside haphazardly. Kaveh doesn’t miss the way Alhaitham’s jaw is clenched, or the strain in his hand when he brings up a hand to run through his hair, or the very subtle and minute twitch in his cheek.

The blond ignores all signs that he wants to be left alone, and instead, follows the grey-haired to his room after he swung the door open.

“Whoa, whoa, whoa, hold on, let’s talk about this-”

“Talk about what?” Alhaitham growls.

“Who pissed in your black coffee today?”

“No one. Now get lost.”

“Aw, come on, you know what they say. Getting things off your chest is always beneficial.”

“There’s nothing on my chest, go away.”

“You sure? no stress, no deadlines, no love interest making you tear your hair out-”

“-No, no, none of those!”

“Then what?”

Alhaitham steadies himself by resting his elbows on his thighs, hands clasped together as he exhales loudly. “I got pissed and took it out on Y/n, who’s mad at me now.”

“Huh? Why so annoyed?”

“Because Y/n went to dinner with another man.”

It’s silent for a while. The sassy quip that he expects from Kaveh does not happen. Instead, the blond merely smiles, a satisfied, knowing grin that slightly irks him. “You know, I’ve been waiting for the day you realise you have feelings for Y/n.”

“What? Where did you get that conclusion from?” Alhaitham sits up straighter. There are a lot of things he knows, and he knows for sure that he does not like you in any way beyond platonic. He doesn’t have any time to spare for love. There are scholarships he still needs to apply for, internships to be interviewed for, research projects to submit- nowhere amongst the minute hand of the clock is there space for love.

“Oh come on,” Kaveh sits down on the bed beside his roommate, leaning back on his hands. “You’re not as smooth as you hope to be sometimes.”

“I’m serious, I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Y’know the sooner you accept you have feelings for Y/n, the easier life will be.”

“Life is already easy and there is no sooner because I don’t like Y/n like that. Now get lost. I have stuff I need to finish.”

Kaveh shrugs, standing up with a soft ‘suit yourself’, taking seven steps before he’s out of the room. Alhaitham lets out a sigh that has lodged itself in his throat for too long, and the feeling of reprieve he gets is short-lived before he’s flooded with a certain tightness again. Maybe he did have a weight on his chest after all, not that he’d ever admit it to himself or Kaveh.

He gets up from his made bed with a grunt and decides to push aside all distractions. Time is unforgiving, and if doesn’t finish his assignment by this Friday then he’ll be a little less than pleased.

── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──

Alhaitham feels like he can’t breathe.

You’re sitting alone at a library desk, all focused and concentrated on your laptop screen with your headphones on, blocking out any outside voice as you type away. He wonders if he should say hi, maybe try apologising for the way he acted last Monday- who is this guy that’s approaching you and why does he look so familiar?

And why are you smiling so happily?

You beckon to the seat beside you and the guy readily complies, taking the chair beside you like he belonged there, like there weren’t other candidates that should be there instead (he’s not talking about himself. definitely not).

He hands you one of two coffee cups he’s holding. What kind of right does this guy have to give you a coffee? Does he even know your order?

He feels like a bit of creep keenly watching you interact with someone else from a balcony of the library, but the book and laptop in front of him lies forgotten, and in a rare moment of weakness, Alhaitham can’t find it in himself to return to his tasks, pursuit of knowledge momentarily forgotten. He can’t push aside the bile that threatens to rise, he can’t loosen his grip on the couch’s armrest, and he can’t blink for a second in fear of losing you from his sight.

(You’re laughing. Why are you laughing? How can you look so pretty laughing and why doesn’t he ever get to make you laugh like this?)

Alhaitham is losing his damn mind. So much so that the first thing he does when he sees you again is corner you.

“You shouldn’t talk to that guy anymore.”

You’re backed against the brick walls of the time-worn building that your shared lecture always takes place in, and Alhaitham, spotting you like a hawk, put you in this precarious position as soon as the two hours were over.

He can’t breathe. It’s been almost three weeks since you last spoke to him and you’re staring up at him like you’ve done nothing wrong, blinking once and twice at his uncharacteristic display of subtle aggression.

“Who?” you mutter, shaking your head to try and grasp reality once again. you hug your laptop closer to your body. “What’s this about?”

“I said you shouldn’t talk to that guy anymore.”

“What guy?”

“Your project partner.”

“Really?” you mutter in disbelief.

He nods, teal eyes shining at you firmly. “Really. The project’s over, you don’t need to talk to him anymore.”

“I don’t recall ever giving you the right to dictate who gets to be in my life or not, just like how you can’t tell me what to do with my time.”

“I’m looking out for you, so stop trying to make me sound tyrannical.”

Your mouth hangs open as you furrow your eyebrows, growing more and more frustrated with each second. So much for thinking that he wanted to resolve the awkwardness between the two of you. “I’m not even going to argue with you,” you murmur a quick ‘jerk’ under your breath before brushing past him.

Alhaitham, however, is not willing to let you go as easily as you wish, quick to chase after you. Not that you go far anyways, turning around to face him again in the spaciousness of the vacant hallway. “Why do you care?” You ask, exasperated. “You’re Alhaitham, you don’t let trivial things like who I hangout with bother you, you’re cool and collected and rational, and I just don’t understand why you’re acting like this.”

He doesn’t understand either, not the erratic beating of his heart, the stubbornness of his mind, nor this undisputable urge to keep you all to himself. Is it normal to want to hide someone for selfish reasons?

Trailing off, Alhaitham is slightly humiliated that for the first time in his life, someone has witnessed him coming short of an answer. No logical conclusion, no explanation, not even a satisfying quip, just plain, suffocating silence.

“Right. When you do have an answer, let me know.” You walk away.

── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──

Your last rebuttal still weighs heavily on Alhaitham’s mind, even two days later as he and Kaveh are seated for a lecture in a shared course. His thoughts are scrambled like never before, the messiness of it all making him feel uneasy because for once, he doesn’t have an appropriate answer to a question.

Why was he acting like a temperamental teenager? What you did with your life was up to you, and indeed he has no right trying to change that. More importantly, why was it so hard to apologise for the stuff he said-

“So, how’s everything between you and Y/n?”

Kaveh turns to him with widened eyes whilst Alhaitham’s poker face doesn’t move an inch, deceivingly apathetic.

“Good, we’ve been hanging out a lot more recently,” the other guy says, who Alhaitham quickly recognises to be your project partner and distaste rises in his stomach like bile.

“Aye, good for you, man! So when are you going to ask Y/n out?”

“No way, bro, not yet. I’m such a wimp, but I hope I grow the balls to ask soon because I really like-”

“-looks like you got some competition!” The blond nudges Alhaitham, and if it were anyone else, they would not have glanced twice at the grey-haired who seemed unmoving and uninterested. However, Kaveh is not anyone else because he noticed the darkened look in Alhaitham’s eyes instantly, anger seeping into his composed gaze as his nose scrunches in disgust.

── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──

“So, you and Alhaitham still aren’t talking?” Kaveh asks, leaning on the table of the restaurant with curious ears, hoping that he can grab some answers out of you as to why there was a stalemate between you and his roommate.

“Nope,” you sigh.

“Why not?”

“I’m just-” you pinch the bridge of your nose, “I’m just waiting on an apology from him.”

“An apology? Why? What did he say?”

“He didn’t tell you?”

“You know how he is. Always insufferably secretive, so no, I don’t know anything that happened.”

“Alhaitham just said some hurtful things to me, and he was being weird when I told him I was going to dinner with a friend of mine. Just kept being in my business.”

“Really?” The architecture student quirks a brow, confusion plastered on his face. “That’s not like Alhaitham at all.”

“I know, right? He kept trying to be like ‘don’t hang out with him’ and ridiculed me for not playing my part as an executive of the Sumeru society,” you complained, “like sorry I have other things I want to do.”

Kaveh nods in understanding as the conversation briefly stops when the waiter comes to drop off utensils at your table. As soon as they were gone, however, you begin again.

“And even though he was all up in my business, trying to tell me what not to do, he then said that I wasn’t special, which is so confusing because like-”

“-hold on. Alhaitham said that you weren’t special?” You nod at his parroted claim. “To him?”

“Yeah. Stung like shit when he said that, especially since I thought we were friends but guess not,” you murmur sadly, fiddling with the fork.

Later that night, almost immediately after meeting you over dinner, Kaveh barges into his roommate’s room, not even changing out of his outside clothes. The sudden intrusion shocks Alhaitham who was busy typing on a document, textbook splayed open beneath him but momentarily forgotten as the blond takes a seat on the bed.

“What the- not even a hello?” The grey-haired asks, confused by this uncharacteristic silence of Kaveh’s. It’s pretty normal for the blond to barge into his room without notice, but it was not normal for him to be so quiet, practically brooding on the mattress. “Whatever. Where have you been? Have you eaten yet, because I made-”

“When will you just confess to Y/n?”

The mention of your name causes a spike in Alhaitham’s heartbeat and he swivels around instantly, attention fully directed towards his roommate. “Where is this coming from?”

“Y/n told me everything that happened between you two by the way-”

“-what, when?”

“Tonight, we just met for dinner.”

“And you didn’t tell me?”

“What would you have done if you knew? Showed up and made things worse?” He doesn’t say anything in retaliation, merely shutting his mouth and furrowing his eyebrows. “Why did you say that Y/n wasn’t special to you?”

“I didn’t,” Alhaitham sighs, very loud and very perplexed. “I didn’t mean for it to come out the way it did.”

“Don’t you miss Y/n? You two used to hangout so often.”

“I do, of course I do!” He exclaims, burrowing his face in his hands.

“So why aren’t you apologising?”

“Because whenever I’m around Y/n, I’m not who I normally am,” he mutters, “especially everything whenever that project partner is around-”

“Jealous, much?”

“I’m not jealous.”

“Oh come on, you’re ridiculous. Stop pushing away your feelings and just be honest with yourself, Alhaitham! Y/n is not just a friend to you and you know it.”

“But, we are just friends-”

“So you mean to tell me that if I hung out with someone else- like if I hung out with Cyno, you would be pissed?”

“What? No, of course not.”

“Then why is it different with Y/n?” Once again, Alhaitham doesn’t have an answer to the question, sitting as still as a statue hunched over his desk. “Fine, I’ll spell it out to you. You like Y/n, more than just a friend!”

The silence leftover from Kaveh’s outburst is tense and full as the grey-haired lets the words sink in.

“I’ll let you think about it,” the blond murmurs, voice softening dramatically as he stalks out of the room. Before he closes the door, however, he leaves a few final words. “Just- be honest with yourself, Alhaitham, and I wouldn’t delay trying to talk to Y/n.”

A sharp click rings through the room.

Alhaitham is no stranger to being alone, for who needs the company of others when you are happiest by yourself? Yet, in the weeks that you have not been speaking to him, a cardinal urge as been growing each and each day, wanting him to do something so atypical of him: to reach out and make the first move. Every passing day doesn’t lessen the thoughts that plague his mind, rather, they make him more and more impatient, because what if you get swept away by your project partner?

(What if he’ll be too late? What if you won’t know of these powerful emotions that are steering through the storm in his heart? What if you won’t know just how badly he was been wanting you- wanting to see you, wanting to apologise, wanting to see you beam at him like you always would.

What if you won’t know that he adores you, especially now that he’s figured it out?).

── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──

A rain droplet falls and lands on your nose, another lands on your forehead, then another lands on your lip then more and more keep falling from the cloudy sky, falling through the leaves and landing on the bench you were currently sitting on. Goodness, you should have checked the weather before leaving your dorm. Why was it now out of all times that it had to rain, what would Alhaitham think after he finally decided to reach out to talk?

Taking your phone out to message the grey-haired about relocating, an umbrella is suddenly held over you, stopping the gentle drizzle from falling onto you. Looking up, you’re greeted by a familiar face that you have been missing too much recently.

“Hello, you,” you breathe, voice gentle and quiet and Alhaitham feels like he can finally breathe after so long, the scent of rain washing away all perplexion.

He nods at you in greeting before offering you the bouquet of flowers he was holding. A gorgeous arrangement of pink of white stare prettily at you and a man even more gorgeous expects you to accept it.

“For me?” You ask.

“For you.”

“Thank you, they’re so beautiful,” you take his gift with gentle hands, holding it close to your chest.

“I want to apologise,” he firmly states, getting straight to the point; very Alhaitham of him. “For treating you the way I have been recently.”

You beam at him, so bright and so gorgeous that it renders him speechless, a feat pretty difficult when it comes to someone like Alhaitham who has a whole dictionary of words, in multiple languages too. Somehow, they all flock out of his mind the second you smile at him.

“I accept your apology, thank you for reaching out, must have been hard for someone like you, huh?” You tease, standing up from the bench.

“Well, I had do for someone as special as you.” The grey-haired’s voice is deceivingly confident and assured, but you know better, especially when he looks away to hide his expression with his neatly styled bangs.

“No need for the flattery, you know, I’ve already forgiven you.” There’s a moment of silence that occupies the air, caused by Alhaitham’s hesitation as he fishes his brain for the courage to ask you out. You speak before he can get a word out, however. “I got asked out the other day.”

“By your groupmate?”

“He has a name, you know, but, yeah. I rejected him, though,” you laugh awkwardly, almost like you were trying to cope with it by playing it off. “Did you know that he would do that?”

“Yes. I did.”

“Is that why you were so adamant on me not hanging out with him?”

“I guess you could say that. We can talk more about it another time,” he tells you, voice gentle and caring to mask the subtle hit of jealousy he feels in his chest, scolding himself for letting someone else confess to you before him. However, it’s a minute sensation in comparison to the triumph Alhaitham feels knowing that you rejected the other party.

“We have a lot to talk about, don’t we?”

“We do, but I want to ask you something first.”

You nod, hugging the bouquet closer to your chest, anticipation heavy in the air as you spur him to continue.

“If I asked you out, would you reject me too?”

A mere second passes by where you don’t respond, yet the second stretches out to what feels like eternity as Alhaitham’s stomach churns. Patience is something he doesn’t lack, but how can he be patient when his heart wants you so bad?

Then, you take his hand, and the heavens sing at the feeling of your hand in his. “I wouldn’t, but are you asking me out?”

“Are you free right now?”

“I am. Why?”

“Let’s go out then. On a date.”

“I'd love to.” You rise up to place a lingering kiss on his cheek, one that has his heart racing with joy rather than frustration.

The smile you earn is gentle, shy, but says more than Alhaitham's words ever can.

11K notes · View notes

ore11 · 2 years ago

Text

fireflies

featuring our Elucidation duo

Alhaitham x reader | y/n | you

short story

Related to this ask as well

Part 1 | Part 2

[ A future with you is endless ]

“What are you trying to theorize?”. It seems after living with this man who was being labeled a lunatic by certain people has had you prepared. Despite that, you’re still glad he was a little insane otherwise how would he keep up with your antics by now. “The probability of you and me…”. He trailed off to meet your gaze.

-------------------------

[ The Rainforest ]

The birds chirping at a distance, the rainforest cool breeze and slight sunshine through the tree leaves effortlessly decorated the rainforest. The strands of your hair would occasionally brush against your cheeks as the gentle breeze passed by you. It was indeed a nice feeling to be in the rainforest today. The cool breeze, his gentle presence and an easy feeling in your heart.

"I must say these days, you're getting better and better with fancy words". You replied to his previous statement.

A small smile appeared on his lips but didn’t add any remarks afterwards, silently holding your hand in his.

"Isn’t this nearby our first research site?". You instantly recognized the path even before actually seeing the ruins uphill but still asked him for confirmation since you haven’t been here in a while. The side of his lips raised in response to your reaction but he only gently squeezed your hand without turning around to look at you.

"Come on, we're going inside using the second entrance".

"I didn't know there's a second entrance."

"It's somewhere deeper in the path ahead". He informed you as he gestured a hand towards the upcoming path ahead.

You didn't question much and followed him with ease.

"Hai…"

"Hmm?" He hummed softly but didn't exactly turn as he was focusing on the path ahead.

"Th… there's-". You suddenly grabbed on to the back of his shirt which instantly pulled his attention towards you. The fabrics of his shirt squeezed within your grasp.

“What’s wrong?!”. He questions.

“My hair… is there something on my head?”. You frantically explained in distress.

He turned around to see what was wrong and for a second panic was visible in his eyes but soon he heaved a sigh once he knew what you were so scared about.

"Calm down, it's just an insect". He fully turned his body to face you as he slowly took hold of your hand that was strongly gripping on the only piece of sleeveless black shirt he wore.

He reassuringly managed to place that hand on his shoulder instead while he kept on holding your other hand in his right hand.

"Is it a spider?!". You began to freak out by the thought of it.

"No. It's just a huge butterfly". He lied the calmest way possible, it was indeed a spider. A huge one that is and he's not so sure how he should remove it without getting bitten himself.

"You're lying. Just get-"

He swiftly gestures his left hand over your head as an emerald green light emanates through his hand. It was so brief that you wouldn't have noticed it if you blinked your eyes at that exact second.

"It's gone". He calmly replied but his teal eyes were still focusing on where the spider had landed or where he had swished it away with his dendro abilities.

"Oh…". You nodded as you sighed feeling relieved.

“You’re alright now”. He walks over closer towards you and casually fixes your hair, straightening all the disheveled hair strands. His slender fingers gently combed through your hair just like he usually does with a calm facial expression. "There, shall we get going?"

You nodded, seemingly feeling a lot calmer. He nods and turns to continue walking as he leads ahead with you following close behind him.

[ The ruins ]

"Wait, are we just going in there without any torch?". You questioned as you noticed he didn't stop and straight away headed into the darkness of the entrance once the both of you arrived there.

"Scared?". He calmly responded with another question. If it was well lit inside, you could've seen the smirk on his lips.

"A little". You directly admitted.

"Just close your eyes". He casually spoke as if it'll help you to feel better.

You scoffed with a smile, "How is that supposed to-"

He let go of your hand and swiftly lifted you up with both of his arms.

"-huh?!". You exclaimed, not expecting him to do just that without any warning. He started walking down the path while effortlessly carrying you in his arms. Eventually you sighed and gave in to his random antics. After all, it's not like this is the first time he has ever carried you like this.

He lightly kissed the right side of your cheeks, "Don't worry, I've been here for so many times".

“What is this? Is this included in your plan?”

“Well if you insist on walking I’ll let you down but you’re still agreeing to this.” You helplessly shook your head, speechless with his words but it seems he’s not entirely wrong about that.

You couldn’t see anything in there because it seems there were no cracks in between the walls of the ruins. It was cold and eerie as the only thing you could hear was the slow howling winds and his footsteps. The sole of his boots stepped on dry, hard and dusty pavements.

You kept your eyes open despite the fact that you couldn’t see anything but you were just feeling calm. Perhaps the soft glow of his dendro vision was quite fascinating or perhaps the rhythm of his footsteps were just at the right phase? You suddenly let out a slight chuckle as you thought of the answer.

He only smiled to himself despite not knowing what exactly you were thinking even at this moment of just him carrying you. Admittingly he’s enjoying it, he’s influenced by your emotions itself.

“Tell me, have I gained weight compared to back then when you carried me all the way back to Sumeru city?”. You casually asked him as if it’s an easy ‘Yes, No’ question and wouldn’t get him into trouble if he answered wrongly.

“I’m not a weighing scale”. He responded casually trying to escape your dangerous question. He once answered it with a specific ‘You weigh 1 kilogram heavier than before’ but then after that he noticed you started eating less which was not something he wanted to happen again.

“Fine”. You smiled as you weren’t actually serious about the matter. In fact you're trying to drop him into a teasing hell which he seems to avoid so easily.

“Besides, if I can’t carry you, then that means I need more training”. He calmly adds.

You laughed at his statement, “I’m already scared of your training routine. What more do you want to do?”

“Not telling you”. He responded, somehow unusually secretive about that matter.

“After all, I still can carry you just fine”. He responded with an air of confidence in his calm voice.

Shortly after that, the both of you arrived inside the ruins section where streaks rays of sunlight passed through a crack in the higher walls. Particles of dust floating, suspended, in the air. Normal yet beautiful. Root veins spread across the walls creating a natural touch of fascination for the discoverer. A stream of underground water streamed through a small passage from the cracks between the once hard pavements. The whole section felt entirely different, like a world of its own.

Alhaitham gently placed you down on both of your feet. He then walks towards a room nearby and brings back two sets of wooden stools. It seems he's been here often or was he just well prepared?

"It's beautiful here". You smiled happily.

"Not yet, we should wait a while longer". He gestured you to come over towards him where he had placed the stool just near the opposite walls untouched by the sunlight rays.

"Why's that?". You questioned as you joined to sit next to him.

He took out a book out from his pouch, "I'll tell you when it's time"

Seeing how he's already come prepared with a book, you're feeling slightly disappointed that he didn't tell you about the part where it'll take some time otherwise, you would bring a book for yourself too. As much as you wanted to ask why he’s taking you here or what’s unique about this place, you gulped down all the questions and just quietly sat there next to him.

Alhaitham only read three pages of the book and then he suddenly has already kept it back inside his pouch. He's a fast reader so it took him only a few minute. He seems to ponder a few moments to himself before he turns his head to face you. You met his calm gaze as you raised your eyebrows looking questioningly at him, not entirely sure what was on his mind.

He slightly shook his head before taking out a hand to you, expecting you to take hold of it in which you casually did so without question. A soft sigh escaped his lips as if he was satisfied with such simple gestures. Just him holding your hand.

You quietly looked at him before you started scoffing then it slowly turned into a laughter.

Alhaitham didn't complain nor did he say anything. He slightly squeezed your hand as he slowly brought it close to his face until eventually you could feel his warm breath, his lips tenderly kissing the back of your hand.

The amused feeling slowly turned into a mixture of surprise and adoration. You didn't expect him to be so expressive all too suddenly without any known reason.

"Hmm… that was underwhelming". He finally spoke after doing so. For some reason, that statement did crush a little bit of your feelings.

"Well, what do you expect?". You calmly responded as you tried to pull your hand away from his firm hold.

"No, I'm not done". He stated as you sighed and focused your gaze on him, patiently waiting for him to explain more.

A small smile appeared on his lips as he lovingly kept his gaze on you. He slowly pulled you closer towards him as he subconsciously wrapped his arm around your waist before you knew it he unexpectedly captured your lips into a tender kiss.

This man has kissed you a millionth time with or without a reason. He doesn't do much within the vicinity of other people but when it's only between you and him that's totally a different story. What did you even expect, he's your dedicated man after all. So at heart, you're accustomed to these gestures of affection.

Shortly after, he slowly pulled away as his teal eyes searched yours, seemingly in an attempt to seek something from you. Despite that, you still didn't know what he was thinking. He seems worried and yet calm, he seems happy and yet he wasn't smiling.

After a moment, he opened his mouth to say something but he only ended up smiling which was both laughable and yet so oddly cute. After all, he rarely ever smiles in such a way that you'll think his eyes are sparkling with genuine adoration. It was just so lovable, so filled with warmth. The total opposite to his unmovable expressionless face.

He cleared his throat, "I'm… well- tsk". He sighed, seemingly frustrated that he wasn't able to say something.

"I'm sorry…". He suddenly apologized. "I already practiced it so many times but I keep forgetting it". He slowly admitted about something you still have no idea about.

"About what?". You slowly questioned him, feeling amused that this man claims to forget about something when he actually could remember every small detail about you.

Alhaitham swiftly took out the book he had previously read and pulled out three pieces of paper that turned out to be separated papers that are not a part of the book itself. He kept the book and gave you the three pieces of paper.

The paper was filled with words from the front and back, text written neatly by hand. You instantly recognized that it was all Alhaitham's handwritings. You looked at him then at the paper again.

"Those are a short summary of my journal…" He deliberately trailed off, "...about you."

"Journals? What am I? Your research?!". You jokingly responded.

He nodded without denying anything, "I have five, adding another this year". It seems he wasn't playing with you, "That one is a summary for my first journal".

"Did you plan to memorize all of these?"

He nodded, "I already did but I feel my heartbeat spikes up too much if… well"

You helplessly shook your head in disbelief that he's actually feeling nervous just to tell you something that he himself has already planned on telling you. Why was he so nervous by saying it but was just fine if you're the one to read it yourself?

“What kind of logic is that?”. You deliberately imitated his own words whenever you said something considered amusing to him. Now, it was you who thought he was being out of character to be not only expressive but nervous to say something out.

“Please read it". He insists with a certain plea as he ignored your amused statements.

You nodded, "Alright, of course".

You slowly started reading it while casually ignoring his anticipating glare which was quite amusing. He seemed nervous but was willing to endure the outcome from revealing his so-called personal research.

[ Left Unsaid ]

He wrote about the first time he saw you. It was the first day of class. You were swiftly passing by him, almost knocking the books he was holding. At that time you were busy studying the pamphlet of Akademiya's map on your hand as you tried to find where the lecture hall was located. He thought it was only normal that people are often ignorant when they are dealing with their own problems.

Those were the earliest opinions he had about you but oddly enough he didn't seem to harbor any ill feelings.

He only ever referred to you as 'That person' and never seemed to label you as a friend, an acquaintance or a research partner. Not once.

It seems it was only you who ever assumed him to be someone you deemed more than he ever did. You came to realize that he didn't even see you as his friend back then. Not even a mere friend. It was baffling.

‘Was I being delusional?’. You thought to yourself but you kept on reading through it. The text continues on towards those days after graduation.

'That person, who is she to me?'

'Why do I keep thinking about that person?'

'I want to see that person.'

'Why is it so noisy when she’s not around?.'

Alhaitham was an intelligent man, it's an obvious fact but one thing you noticed based on the words he wrote, he's damn well unable to figure out his own emotions about you. He kept questioning himself, falling down into the spiral of his own thoughts and yet unable to escape free from to the surface as if he was helplessly drowning.

However whenever he caught a glimpse of you for even a mere second, it seems his thoughts quieted down for the whole day. Even you couldn't understand why he felt that way towards you. It was unbelievable. Illogical. He didn't have a conclusion to his problems but was seemingly content with how things were. Seeing you was enough.

You proceeded to read to the third page, it focuses on those days when he knew you're accepting the arranged marriage. He seems to describe it in a rather solemn manner.

'That person is getting married soon. It's only natural'.

He stayed at home thinking about it, the more he thought about it the more he felt miserable.

'If that person has her own family, wouldn't I see her less?'

Despite that, he never once mentioned or tried to figure out your thoughts about him. It was only him and his own thoughts. It seems he has already been your personal Scribe even before he knows much about you or about his own feelings.

'How do I prevent this catastrophic downfall?'

That was his last sentence, a complete cliffhanger if it was a novel book.

"That's it? You can't just reveal something and just leave it short?". You questioned right after reading his lengthy summarization.

He let out a chuckle, "You already know the ending".

"It says here, 'Personal observation: That person'. Not once a name was mentioned. After all, I can't just assume things". At this point you're just making fun of him.

"Hmm…". He nodded and smiled but didn't deny your statements either, "So, no questions?"

"I swear I didn't put a charm on you, alright". You jokingly responded afterwards.

"...and I thought we were friends, but it turned out our friendship was one sided". You added with a smile.

"Like you said, we shouldn't assume things". He responded. "I can't assume what your thoughts are about me".

"There's no way your friends say something like, 'Can I be your friend?' question. That's just awkward and weird"

"They are different, you are different".

"So, you purposely didn't consider me as your friend?"

He nodded, "Since the beginning, I never wanted to be your friend. It's a strange ordeal, to me, you're that person who I would rather not interact at all or give my every attention. There are no in betweens."

"Wait… so even before graduation, if I were to ask you to teach me about something, would you do it?"

"I would"

"If I had asked you to buy me lunch?"

"It depends if you have a good reason"

You laughed, "Such as?"

"Maybe you're sick, maybe you're busy or you forgot to bring mora that day". He reasons.

You seem to ponder for a few moments, "That's just you being a good friend"

"You see, I have a habit of ignoring even my friends if I don't feel like interacting with them. As for you, even if I didn't say anything, I often give thoughts to your words. Had you requested of me, I will do it.". He explained.

You let out a chuckle, "Then, when did you start thinking about my thoughts about you? Were you not curious at all?"

He smiled, "Hmm… you couldn't possibly ask the author to rush, do you?"

"You already wrote it, why won't you just let me read the original copy?". You reason with him.

He shook his head, "Well, I'm supposed to feel really embarrassed back then even more so than I am right now."

"What do you mean?"

He didn't respond to your question, "It's about time."

[ Fireflies ]

Right after he said that, ever so slowly a few fireflies started to come out from behind the vines of tree roots. They emanate a neon green glow which beautifully amplifies the surroundings into becoming a magical place than it already was.

"Fireflies…". You whispered with a hint of excitement evident in your voice.

"You'll see more of them once the sunlight doesn't reach through here". He softly spoke as he glanced at your side profile with a soft smile. Alhaitham knew you were entirely captivated by fireflies and here he was completely mesmerized by you.

He looked over at his coat that was still on your shoulder and unpinned the dendro vision from the coat. A faded green glow emanates softly from the vision. Such a peculiar item but you often thought it's basically just a gemstone that glows.

He lets go of your hand and lets you take hold of the vision before he then places your hand on your lap with his hand underneath your hand. You wondered what he wanted to do by doing that but you only waited for him to explain it himself.

"The fireflies will gather near the vision once they reach closer". His eyes seemed to display a genuine excitement as he calmly explained. You didn't know if he was excited to see the fireflies too or was he just overjoyed by something? His teal eyes glistened in admiration despite his lips barely hinting any evidence of joy in his soul.

Shortly after he spoke, the fireflies slowly started flying towards you, seemingly hovering within your reach, within the glow of Alhaitham’s Dendro vision. They were gentle and mesmerizing, occasionally blinking a neon green glow despite still keeping a slight distance from you.

You smiled as you turned your head to meet his gaze who was already on you all along. There weren't many chances to be in such close proximity with these fireflies. So, you wanted to tell him how glad you were at the moment, how wonderful it was to see these natural beauty and express how you genuinely felt but it seems he knows that already.

“Fireflies by nature are attracted to lights, especially those that are similar in nature”. He slowly spoke from which you only quietly nodded and halting to speak out your mind.

“It’s fascinating isn’t it?”

You gleefully nodded with a smile and he suddenly let out a chuckle which was rare of him. You sighed, surely if he’s laughing it’s not by all means coming from anything good. You assumed he’s either mocking something or just flatly being sarcastic for reasons you’ll never truly understand.

“Wait… don’t be mad yet”. He tried to explain as he quickly cleared his throat.

“No, I’m not”. You calmly stated but who was he to not know the slight changes of expression on your face.

“Well… I was gonna say you still choose me despite that”

“...and so?”. You raised your eyebrows.

He seems to ponder a while to arrange his words, “One reason why fireflies are attracted to lights is because they are finding mates.”

“Hmph…”

“Alright, darling… I won’t say more into that”. He quietly tried to reassure you but he was deliberately covering his lips with his other hand, obviously even he couldn’t help but grin at your reaction.

“So what if the fireflies are finding their mates?”. You suddenly throw the question towards him.

“Hmm… in that case let me indulge you with the knowledge-”

“Nope, no… I take that back”

He frowned at your sudden refusal to listen to his thoughts. He was confused as he tried to figure out your point of view in that matter.

“Why?”

“Nevermind, just tell me”. You gave up, you didn’t want to share your thoughts either. Perhaps it was different than how he sees it? Or perhaps he's on the same page with you?

“It’s because you’re holding my Dendro vision which also symbolizes all of my desires”. He then calmly responded.

“But you asked me to hold it in the first place”. You spoke with a slight frown feeling more confused with his way of understanding.

“So, that also means if I give you something you’ll take it?”. He stated with such a look that was eager to know your answer.

“The probability of you and me…”. He trailed off to meet your gaze.

You sighed, “I’m not allowing you to talk with my aunts or my mom anymore.” It seems you guessed him right about this matter.

He let out a chuckle, “Oh no, you’ve misunderstood me. In fact, they’ve been saying the same thing even before our wedding. So strictly speaking, this is on me”.

You swatted his left arm, slightly scaring the fireflies that were hovering within close proximity of your hand.

He only smiled as he moved slightly to the side, trying to avoid your hand. “I mean what do you expect? Unless we have complications…”. His voice was calm.

“Tsk!”

“No matter, I was merely suggesting… but perhaps you would want me to convince you?”. He now spoke with a hint of amusement on his lips. Somehow these topics have made you feel flustered concealed with slight annoyance. It was as he expected but since he wasn’t being direct, receiving a slight glare from you was expected.

Alhaitham waited for you to speak but you didn’t deny his words either, “Besides, just one light is enough to light our way but I won’t complain if you don’t want to share.” He then adds, obviously hinting his request.

You eventually sighed, “I’ll think about it”

He nodded seemingly not against any of it, “Of course. Let’s collect more data, I wouldn't want to be empty handed either”. He suddenly displayed a warm smile as if he’s already seeing his future with you. That same smile that could melt your heart endlessly without him saying a word of affection. You haven’t agreed yet but was he trying to persuade you with this method? For once, he was being unfair but one thing you were certain, he indeed planned all of this just to ask this request to you.

“For now, I’ll take you to every place we haven’t seen and do all those things we haven’t done. Is that a good trade?”

---------------

A/N: this took me awhile but its quite fun to write this. I hope it's logical XD

21 notes · View notes