orionsplaceblog

[orionsplaceblog]

Today was a day of dysphoria, I didn't go to school cause I couldn't get out of bed. Sometimes I don't know which is worse, the depression or the feeling of not belonging to this body, maybe it's just as bad.

I hope tomorrow is a little bit better, I will graduate next year and I need to be in school for that, I will learn to deal with dysphoria at some point

Have a great day, all the love, Orion.

[orionsplaceblog]

Hey, my name is orion, I'm a genderfluid person who lives in Brazil (sorry for my bad English, still learning). I go by all the pronouns so you don't need to worry about it.

I just start reading a book about a genderfluid teenager trying to be invisible in their new school and creating a blog to talk about their genderfluid problems, so I just think "why not?" and here I am.

I don't know if anyone will ever read this but I don't care, it's supposed to be a therapy but if anyone wants to read and talk about it that's ok.

Well, in my school we use uniforms, the same for everyone, but it doesn't change the binary society, so on dysphoria days i need to hide the feeling as much as possible. But, like every genderfluid person in the world, I also have bad days, and I don't want everyone seeing me like a specific gender. It's hard cause any of my friends know nothing of this part of my life, so they treat me the way they see me.

I came out to a friend a few months ago but she still calls me by my deadname and i don't feel at all comfortable with it. I can't ask her to use the right pronouns and stop calling me that cause I don't want to be inconvenient.

I really wanted to be cisgender and not go through anything bad, but unfortunately life is like that.

I'm going to make some tea and forget about the bad situations, it was a bad presentation but I intend to come back soon anyway.

All the love, Orion.