otildeo

[otildeo]

Domestic Life

F/F Domestic plotless drabble for Bottom Erwin Week 2017 Day 1... a couple days late. There’s a brief mention of sex toys and allusions to sex. AO3 version here.

Since they started living together, Erwin has learned several things about her girlfriend:

Erwin always thought that Levi would be one of those people who were a bit grumpy in the mornings, but she quickly discovered shortly after they moved in together that that was not the case. No, Levi was straight-up unresponsive until downing at least two over-steeped cups of black tea, bitterness be damned.

Levi will smack Erwin's butt at least once every morning (post-tea). Erwin isn't sure if Levi has a thing for it or not, frankly; she always does it with a deadpan.

Without fail, Levi dutifully washes the sheets every Sunday, claiming that the frequency prevents bacterial buildup. Also without fail, Levi never, ever makes her bed. When Erwin sent Levi an article that suggested making the bed improves daily productivity, Levi just scoffed and called the article "complete and utter bullshit." Levi is by all accounts tidy, but, evidently, only so far as it's practical.

Speaking of which, Levi has an incredible sense of aesthetics - or rather, a lack of one. None of the household items she buys match one another, and Erwin once had to physically wrestle a mug decorated with neon plaid out of Levi's hands ("It's on clearance, Erwin!"). Getting Levi to wear matching clothing in non-professional settings -- including dates -- was an even bigger challenge. 

Sitting across from Levi at their small dining table during breakfast is a dangerous ordeal. Erwin was nearly late for work at least three times because Levi "accidentally" rested her foot on Erwin's chair. Between Erwin's legs.

Sitting across from Levi during dinner is. Better. Mostly because they rarely have commitments during the evening.

Erwin doesn’t know how, but Levi is somehow friends with several of the neighborhood crows. Erwin later learned that they were actually crows who hung out at Levi’s previous residence, but followed Levi to her new home after Levi moved in with Erwin. Now, Erwin couldn’t help but treat Levi extra nicely every time they’re in their lawn, to Levi’s amusement and chagrin (”You’re acting as if the damn birds are your in-laws, Erwin.”).

Levi collects dildos. Erwin is sure half of them have never been used, and is unsure if Levi actually intends to use them all at some point. Erwin hoped not; some of them were definitely too large for the harness o-rings they currently own.

Levi has a black belt in at least three martial arts and will not hesitate to demonstrate if a man catcalls her on her way back from work.

Levi doesn't mind it when Erwin decides to sprawl across her lap after a long day at work. She just places her laptop on Erwin's back instead of her lap and continues doing whatever she was originally doing. She does start to protest if Erwin moves around too much though, and may swat her butt in annoyance.

...ok, she probably has a thing for Erwin's butt.