our-queer-autistic-experience

[our-queer-autistic-experience]

i'm not usually jealous of binary trans people but life would be a lot easier if my transition goals were something like jesse pinkman or ramona flowers instead of my actual dream of being an amorphous shapeshifting pile of toxic sludge (sexy version)

[our-queer-autistic-experience]

I know we are all used to hear bad news from the USA or UK when it comes to trans rights but this time Germany wants to play in the same league.

Our idiots at home ministry came up with the fucking idea to start a register for all transgender and nonbinary people which would mean every person working at some public position could always at any given time see your assigned gender at birth, your deadname, your address and who knows what else.

We had been there in the past. Hitler Germany called it the "Travestite Law" back then. Our politicians didn't learn.

We all know this is unacceptable.

Please, if you are German, sign it. If you are not, spread it wide and far.

This had been stopped once a few years ago. It needs to be stopped again.

[our-queer-autistic-experience]

The thing about people saying "masculinity is a prison" and "femininity is a prison" is that both can be true and untrue simultaneously:

anywhere is a prison if you're locked inside.

[our-queer-autistic-experience]

I don't know who needs to hear this, but if you're on the spectrum and a teacher ever asked you whether you would like to teach this lesson instead since you clearly already know everything about the subject, they weren't actually impressed by your immense knowledge of the subject that you were proud to be sharing. That's just teacher code for "can you like shut the fuck up."

[our-queer-autistic-experience]

ever engage with a media you really really liked and thought you were going to become obsessed with but it doesn’t quite lodge itself into your brain at the correct angle and you can just brush fingertips with the version of yourself from the alternate reality where it completely corrupted your every waking thought

[our-queer-autistic-experience]

[our-queer-autistic-experience]

(person who learned from childhood to make themself as small and unimportant as possible to avoid being a burden) yeah its okay we dont have to do my thing if you dont want i dont mind

[our-queer-autistic-experience]

The Children of Bayswater

LONG POST PLEASE READ

Prewarning for everyone reading- The article in discussion and other relevant linked articles, carry the following warnings: transphobia, medical transphobia, child abuse, referenced csa, conversion therapy, forced detransition, violence against trans youth, manipulation, and the general upsetting state of UK politics.

I will begin with my thanks to the journalists Sasha Baker and Valeria Rocca who are responsible for bringing a story as important as this into the main. They have done a great service and deserve utmost recognition.

A short introduction to a long post [that should definitely be read before the article if you don't have all the context just from the word Bayswater] to the issue.

The group under question is Bayswater Support, a supposed parent support circle for the parents of trans children. However, while they maintain a front of rationality and care, they are the lynchpin of the most insidious pipeline into fascism to face the UK. More on that in the Discussion section, but the facts are they aim to convince parents into detransitioning the trans children (called desistance in their playbook) as well as linking parents on chatrooms who share tips on "encouraging desistance" (how-to on conversion therapy).

The journalists behind THIS ARTICLE have previously written several other exposing articles about Bayswater, including their links to Wes Streeting - UK Health Secretary - who meets with and takes advice from Bayswater to shape national policy (any anti-trans policy in the last year).

THE ARTICLE - A SUMMARY:

I fully recommend at this point you read the article for yourself, however if you would rather avoid the content warned for (no shame, it is a harrowing read) here is the condensed version.

The article begins with a similar intro to the one I gave, detailing previous articles, and a criticism of Wes Streeting who still refuses to issue a statement on his connection to this group.

The article then goes on to statements given in interview by children of Bayswater members Charlotte, Maria, Liam, and Noah (all names changed).

Charlotte discusses her parents being controlling, and becoming more radical in their viewpoints as they spent time with Bayswater. She says they became hostile and mocking, and her mother in particular has become especially radical to the point it threatens the marriage and prevents her from being social. She also talks about her parents creating barriers between herself and her extended family. She says her family situation is complicated but it is "clear her parents do not love her"

Maria reports that her mother was supportive but her father was abusive and that she made a fake account to stalk her dad on the Bayswater forum at which point she discovered all the horrible things he was posting. Her dad died unexpectedly and she doesn't know if he ever stopped posting.

Liam was immediately rejected by his parents when he first came out but says Bayswater intensified his mother's transphobia, leading her to other far right beliefs as well. He reports extreme verbal abuse and attempts at conversion therapy guided by Bayswater, as well as prevention from accessing therapy despite worsening wellbeing, all while his mother grew more paranoid and transphobic.

Noah highlights the range of issues Bayswater can convince parents of, noting that increased transphobia came hand in hand with increased anti immigrant sentiments and increased antisemitism, as well as a percieved connection between transition and all left wing or progressive movements. Much like with the others Noah reports that parents cause division in the family. He also tells of his and his mother's shared downward spiral but reports forcing himself to get better out of spite due to his outrage at his mother's political influence via the group.

DISCUSSION:

There are many anti-trans circles in the UK but Bayswater, for me, marks the most dangerous type. Below are my reasonings for my earlier comment that Bayswater was the most insidious group

Parent Groups: While many transphobes are motivated by hatred, often stemming from garden variety bigotry, transphobic parent groups weaponise a parent's love, which is far crueler, as well as harder to break. And nothing can drive a person to extremes quicker than fear for their own children.

The Enemy Is Everything: Typical TERFs think they know exactly who their enemy is and what they look like. Bayswater variety transphobes insist on the idea that transness is a malevolent corrupting force, and so any time you meet a nice trans person you're talking to a mask designed to lure you in. Transness can possess a child, and requires exorcising. Thought terminating cliches make them near impossible to argue with as if you do you are both employing evil tricks to manipulate them and also are soft headed with no idea of what you speak.

Power of the Press: A random transphobe on the street is unlikely to be approach by national media for a quote, but that is exactly what happens when multiple articles, including for the BBC quote a 'Bayswater Spokesperson' [random transphobe] like they have any actual expertise.

Connections: As Noah mentions in the article, once involved with Bayswater, a parent will be linked out to every other group [Sex Matters, PITT, Our Duty ect] and given every resource to note for at home conversion therapy.

Hands On: more public discussions have to remain public friendly, so might at most advocate for repeat deadnaming as DIY conversion therapy. Bayswater's private forum offers a space to share more physical, harmful, or even illegal practices. Parents suggest stealing, sabotaging, or destroying children's possessions, invading their privacy to obscene degrees, and using pain and fear to encourage detransition. But as they say, they don't care if you call it child abuse or conversion therapy - they're doing what's right for their kids.

Legal Power: Oh fuck here we go. It is a lesser known fact that preventing someone from transitioning by destroying their possessions / preventing medical transition / destroying HRT was previously classed as domestic abuse. But thanks to legal action by this fucking group, CPS protections against transphobic abuse and forced detransition were entirely removed.

Pipeline to fascism: Everyone hears about the alt-right pipeline of young white boys getting radicalised. However this type of transphobia can bring leftie individuals (often of various marginalised identities themselves) across the aisle to the right of the current and previous administrations

Political Power: They have had an effect. Wes Streeting frequently takes advice from them. Guidance for schools that requires schools to out pupils to their parents. Cutting trans identities from the curriculum. Puberty blocker ban. Implementation of the Cass Review. Just ONE WEEK AGO the new anti trans guidance for schools. It's all backed by them.

CONCLUSION

This group should never be allowed to hide in the shadows. Whenever their name is searched I would want to see 500 links on how awful they are before you can find their website. I want every parent to know this group will not give them answers, only fear. I want every trans youth to know they are loved. Thank you especially to the ones who raised their head above the masses and spoke out.

This post was rather bleak, even leaving out the more harrowing specifics. I'll try to end with a rallying cry then. They are few; we are many. They will only ever live in fear; we turn our fear into hope. There is no future where they win. By surviving we have already won. They are temporary. A future without trans people will never exist.

Raise your glasses to the infinity of our nature.

[our-queer-autistic-experience]

suberman gives u advice for binding safely.do u feel like binding safely now

[our-queer-autistic-experience]

have you heard about the new children of bayswater article?

yes, i recently saw what i believe is the article you are talking about and its horrible. As someone who has experienced some of the awful things that come with having very transphobic family members, the "support group" in question has harmed so many trans youth, and I have no sympathy for bayswater support group as an organisation, or the parents of vulnerable youth involved in the group. While i do understand how easy right wing indoctrination can be for distressed parents [wrongly] concerned for the future of their child, that is a reason and not an excuse for how transphobic ideology is spread through these parents and into wider societal views, putting trans youth at greater risk and removing their rights and bodily autonomy. Young people are complete people too and should have a say over their own lives.

For those who are unaware, trans safety network states:

"In July last year, we exposed Bayswater Support Group’s private Discord for The Bureau of Investigative Journalism, revealing evidence of child abuse and political lobbying. Bayswater describes itself as offering “parents whose children have a transgender identity somewhere to talk, share and be understood”. But posts from their private Discord forum revealed that parents exchanged conversion therapy tips, and fostered relationships with MPs to push anti-trans policies.

The Trans Safety Network has since revealed more of the abusive practices that Bayswater parents discussed on Discord.

Health secretary Wes Streeting met with and expressed sympathies for members of the group in an interview before last year’s election, as we reported for QueerAF.  He met with the group again in government, and The Department for Health and Social Care invited Bayswater to take part in last year’s consultation on puberty blockers, before they were banned indefinitely for trans kids.

Despite ample evidence of its harmful actions, Bayswater Support Group remains active and politically connected. Streeting has repeatedly refused to comment on his connections to Bayswater.

We have now spoken to several children of Bayswater members. Their experiences highlight the harm groups like Bayswater do to young trans people, and the gateway they provide to broader far-right politics." They then continue to talk about multiple young people's experiences, which you can read in the linked article. Community is vital, now more than ever. So support other marginalised youth in your local communities. We can only get out of this together if we help eachother through it. Do the little that you can to make the world a better place, and if all you can do is keep living, then just do that, because your existance as a trans kid is revolutionary. If you or anyone you know needs support during these difficult times, both my inbox and my direct messages are open. Look after yourselves and look after eachother kiddos, I'm counting on y'all <33

-Sage [he/him/it/bug/fae]

@our-trans-punk-experience @our-queer-experience @our-queer-autistic-experience @our-queerkid-experience @our-transgender-experiences

[our-queer-autistic-experience]

pure love

[our-queer-autistic-experience]

"Trans people were invented by doctors in the 1950s"

[our-queer-autistic-experience]

[our-queer-autistic-experience]

I don't know who needs to hear this, but

YOU DO NOT NEED TO START A NEW HOBBY!

STEP AWAY FROM THE TEXTILES!

YOU DON'T NEED MORE YARN!

THAT FABRIC IS NOT CALLING TO YOU! LEAVE IT ALONE!

[our-queer-autistic-experience]

Yeah, I’m thinking of you. You scrolling Tumblr to escape your country’s facism and cuddle in fictional characters who helped piece together your identity. You writing a novel that’s secretly a queer metaphor. You in Palestine, Ukraine, Russia, China, Singapore, and my beautiful Vietnam. You in red states and small towns that are swallowing you whole. You stuck in Church basements drowning in positive affirmations meant to change you. You on Grindr and Pornhub trying to be a man. You in a library picking up Flamer, Drama, and Nimona for the first time. You on Queering the Map venting a heartbreak. You kneeling and praying to something you don’t believe. You in the ground because the world was not kind, but you were. You in the chrysalis who deserves to emerge. You who are old and thought things would be better. You who are artists and you who are leaders and you who love and fuck and exude color and life. 

I’m thinking of you. 

[our-queer-autistic-experience]

all those posts that are like "you and your blorbo swap lives" "draw your blorbo in your outfit" etc etc are fun and all but every time im like. bold if you to think i have a singular blorbo. its a bleebus circus up in here.

[our-queer-autistic-experience]

"are you transmasc nonbinary or transfem nonbinary" actually i'm hitting you with my laser beam, hope that helps.