ourlifewithharper-blog

[ourlifewithharper-blog]

Harper had an amazing first birthday party surrounded by family and friends. It was extra special because my Great-Grandmother and Grandmother came from Georgia for the party and we were able to get a FIVE generations photo. I’ll cherish that forever. It’s incredible for HBee to experience having so many amazing, strong women in her life. She was such a happy girl during her party, flashing everyone her big smile! 

Planning the party was so much fun! Of course it was over the top.. your baby only turns one once! The details (which I wish I had more pictures of) really made the party. I baked the cake and smash cake myself.. they were both strawberry and white layered cakes! We also had rock candy sticks and rice krispy treats.

We had the party catered by Wegmans! The menu featured: chicken salad croissants, turkey wrap pinwheels, a children’s sandwich tray, fruit tray, veggie platter, a berry and goat cheese spinach salad, a cheese and pepperoni tray, and pasta salad! We homemade the southern mac n’ cheese and put together a mimosa bar for the adults. 

I made Harper’s one year photo banner, put together a Photo Booth, got fresh floral arrangements, and made goodie bags for the kids with various candies.

Harper wore a Smocked Auctions bubble with a large H monogrammed on the front and for the smashing of her cake, she wore a bow we ordered from Etsy.

All in all, the day was perfect! A lot of people joined us to celebrate our baby and we are proud to say that those people have been involved in her life since day one. We will never forget how much fun Harper had, the joy in her eyes, and the tears in mine.. I can’t believe my precious baby is ONE! 

[ourlifewithharper-blog]

Shortly after I found out my husband and I were expecting, I was bombarded with questions about if I intended to breastfeed our child. My answer? Of course! I had never put any thought into this. Before conceiving a child, I never questioned what I would do, how I would do it, or how this would affect my life and the life of our child. I just knew we would breastfeed. I expected that this would be the easiest part of raising our baby. I was wrong. 

Our trouble started early on. Harper was diagonal and nobody caught on until I was in active labor. After 22 hours of labor and 3 hours of pushing, my doctor realized she wasn’t pushing past my pelvic bone. I spent three hours trying to push her and she was stuck. I was taken into surgery and my daughter was born a healthy 7 pounds and 14.8 ounces. She also had a bruise on her head from resting against my pelvic bone. 

Being that I had a c-section, my milk came in VERY late.. I spent 4 days in the hospital and she had lost more than 10% of her body weight.  The doctor thought maybe from the fluids (I was GBS positive and pumped with antibiotics and fluids during my long labor). A few days after we were discharged from the hospital and home, my milk came in (day 7). Wow, what a painful experience. Harper would not latch on my left side, even in the hospital. 

We were referred to a chiropractor to relieve the trauma on her neck from pushing. We saw several lactation consultants and were sent on our way, and told that nothing was wrong and to keep trying. Warm showers, warm compresses, hand expressing before we latched her.. we tried everything. At each pediatrician appointment for the next eight weeks we were questioned about feedings, her gain, was she sleeping too much? Why wasn’t she gaining weight? We were told to use a nipple shield to help her latch.. and it worked! We saw the pediatrician a total of 16 times in that short period of time.

For 10 weeks we used the shield for every single feeding. I had to carry it with me, make sure it was clean, have it with me at home, go to my car if we were out. I felt shunned. Every other day we had weight checks. But never once was I told to supplement. Everyone was in my corner and knew we were going to breastfeed through every obstacle. 

At 10 weeks something had to give. We saw yet another lactation consultant and she checked Harper for tongue and lip ties. Then, we had answers. Harper has a slight upper lip tie and slight tongue tie.. causing her to need a little extra training on her latch. The ties weren’t bad enough that she would need either clipped, so we elected to give it try. I worked with the LC for 10 minutes and she showed me several techniques to get Harper off the shield and onto my breast directly. From that day, we never looked back. Harper ditched the shield and starting gaining weight rapidly. We just needed to know how to work with her, how to relieve the pain caused from birth and starting the shield early on. 

At our 4 month pediatrician appointment Harper had gained three pounds. It was working! She was still nursing every two hours for almost 30 minutes each session. I didn’t leave the house, I was nervous to nurse in public, and we didn't get any breaks. Then, it clicked for us. Feedings got more efficient, they spend out, and weighted feeds let us know she was transferring 4-6 ounces each time. We were thrilled. 

Now, here we are just over 11 months in with no end in sight. I plan to nurse her until she self weans, but to around 2 years old (we do plan to have another baby in/around that time). 

Did I try really hard to breastfeed because I didn’t give myself any other options? Yes. Absolutely. Do I think any less of people who could not or choose not to do the same? No. Do I still think that breast is best? Yes, I do. But YOU make the decisions you do based on what is best for YOU, your baby, and your family. We are all here just trying to get by. Trying to figure our babies out, trying to understand what to do. We are all mothers and we all deserve respect. What worked for me might not work for you, and vice versa. But I do hope in reading this, that people will know that breastfeeding isn't easy for everyone.. no matter how it seems and no matter how it starts. 

[ourlifewithharper-blog]

I was diagnosed with OCD while in college. That being said, my cleaning schedule is meticulous and obviously will not/doesn’t work for everyone (or anyone else, really). As a stay at home mom, I don’t rely on my husband to lend a hand with the general cleaning. But, he does have a few things he is completely responsible for and I’ll list those, too. I’m incredibly lucky that Harper is so easy-going and can entertain herself for brief periods of time (that’s how I get so much done). I also include her in the some of the “chores” and we do use all natural cleaning products. We tend to use Seventh Generation or Method products! Our apartment is two stories (lofted) and 1,300sq/ft and it doesn’t take me long to power through each room since my schedule is consistent. This schedule also coincides with my work days. I do a FULL cleaning every Sunday, and rotate rooms throughout the week.  ** things I do once a week * things Harper “helps” with

Sunday (Full Cleaning Day): Master Bedroom

laundry

vacuum & dust*

windows/window sills**

pick up any clutter

spot clean walls

change sheets

Bathrooms (2 full)

disinfect all surfaces

clean toilet**

clean shower**

mop floors**

mirrors

wash towels/wash cloths**

Kitchen

mop floors**

disinfect counters

wipe down oven & microwave**

put away or wash any dishes

clean out refridgerator (& make grocery list)**

wipe cabinet doors

wash/sanitize bottles & pump parts

wipe down baseboards**

spot clean walls

Living Room/Dining Room

vacuum*

dust*

vacuum couch (every other week, usually)

organize/rotate Harper’s toys & play area*

wipe down dining room table (wood conditioner/cleaner)

spot clean walls

wipe down baseboards**

windows & window sills**

Foyer

mop floors**

dust entry table*

Harper’s Room

vacuum

dust*

laundry (wash & rotate lovies and blankets)

change sheets**

wipe down baseboards**

check supply of baby products (every other week)

Tuesday: Master Bedroom & Master Bathroom

Thursday: Kitchen, Living Room, & Dining Room

Friday: Foyer & Harper’s Room

My husband and I do not share a bathroom and I also don’t do his laundry (too many work clothes & mostly dry cleaning). He’s responsible for keeping his spaces clean!

Husband’s Honey-Do:

his laundry

dry cleaning

cat’s litter box (3x week)

cleaning his bathroom

vacuuming the loft (his “man cave”)

Keeping up with this schedule allows me to spend minimal time (5-6 hours aw cleaning each week even though it seems like WAY too much. Keeping a clean and organized home is important to me and I feel that we do live our lives better in a tidy environment. With a young child that is constantly touching every surface, eating her snacks off the floor (no matter what we do to prevent it), and putting everything in her mouth; cleanliness allows her free range without overwhelming dust/germs. We also have three cats and they do shed. A lot of people say “don’t mind the mess, my children are making memories”, but it’s possible to make memories and pick up at the end of each day. It’s as easy as that!

[ourlifewithharper-blog]

A typical day with Harper can be many different things.. it can be relaxing, busy, fun, and exhausting. It’s usually all of these things in one day. I will say Harper is an easy baby.. she is so funny, and is really happy just being with you. I’m not currently working so our days right now will look very different than they do in July (I start a new nanny position 3x/week). 

Daily Routine:

5:45 - 6:45         Wake up and nurse 7 - 7:45              Play 7:45 - 8:20         (nurse 1st) Breakfast 8:30 - 10            Nurse and Nap 10:15 - 11          Snack/Play/Walk 11:15 - 11:45     (nurse 1st) Lunch 11:45 - 1:30       Play/Errands/Cleaning 1:30 - 2:30         Nurse and Nap 2:30 - 5              Snack/Play/Errands/Cleaning 5:00 - 5:30         Nurse and Nap 5:30 - 6:30         Play/Dinner Started 6:35                   Dinner 7:10 - 7:30         Bath/Bedtime Routine/Nurse/Bed

Harper wakes up anywhere from 5:45am-6:45am depending on her night. She is still waking up 1-2 times a night (I’m not complaining.. we recently saw each other upwards of 5-6x). When she wakes up I bring her into bed with me to snuggle and nurse. We head to the living room around 7:00am. We play until breakfast anywhere from 7:45am-8:15am. 

Breakfast is any combination of the following:

scrambled eggs

grits

fruit 

puffs

pancakes/waffles

pouches

oatmeal

bacon/sausage

yogurt

smoothie

water/almond milk/BM in a cup

Her first nap is from about 8:30am-10:00am, followed by a snack. This is when we take our morning walk. We live in a neighborhood that’s along a busy road, so we do about 6 laps around part of the community. Then we have lunch around 11:15am/11:30am!

Lunch is any combination of the following:

turkey lunch meat

cheese slices

pouch 

chicken

fruit

steamed veggies

cheese crackers

water

peanut butter & jelly 

After lunch, Harper plays inside with her mountain of toys, we may put on a movie in the background with low volume. We typically run our errands after lunch and before the afternoon nap which runs 1:30pm-2:30pm followed by another snack. 

Snacks:

yogurt melts

puffs

crackers

fruit

yogurt

smoothie

teensy fruit dummies

pouch

Back to playing we go! Harper is great at entertaining herself.. I usually take advantage of some time and get the cleaning done, laundry in/out, dishes from the day done, any frozen meat for dinner out of the freezer, vacuuming, etc. Harper is still taking 3 naps a day, the third being a short cat nap at about 5:00pm. When she wakes up, we get dinner started and play. My husband gets home around 6:30pm and we eat!

Dinner is usually:

tacos

chicken

veggies

fruit

burgers

pasta (for H only)

After dinner my husband, Jp, gives Bee her bath while I clean up. Then we do the same bedtime routine every night! Bath, lotion massage, pajamas on, say goodnight to Dada, go to her room and turn on the sound machine/close blinds, read Goodnight Baby twice, and rock/nurse. She is asleep by 7:30pm-7:45pm! 

[ourlifewithharper-blog]

The hard part was the traveling - we were ready to be there already.. and so was our little princess. 

We arrived late Tuesday night and got Harper all set up in her room for the week. She surprisingly went down very easy and I stalked her hourly on the monitor. She woke up the next morning ready for vacation! We started our trip with a run to Publix. Man, I missed Publix so much. We figured it would be easier and more cost effective to cook at the condo for majority of our meals versus spending money eating out. 

Harper loved the pool! The community has a private pool and beach access, which is where we spent most of our time. This was Harper’s first swim! The pool water was around 85 degrees the entire time, which definitely made getting in and out much easier.

Along with hours and hours at the pool came amazing almost 3 hour naps. It was so nice to just hang out with my husband again. We popped a bottle of my favorite champagne to celebrate our first solo family trip. 

[ourlifewithharper-blog]

Who knew that packing for a beach vacation with Harper would amount to 3 pieces of luggage, two carry on bags, a pack n play, stroller, and car seat? Apparently everyone but us! I’m the kind of person where I start packing several days before - my husband is the kind of person who races home from work an hour before we need to leave and throws a bunch of stuff into a bag. And that’s when we realized we just didn’t have enough hands.. 

Our essentials:

Pack n Play

Sound machine

Video monitor

LOTS of sunscreen

Entertainment for the flight

Plenty of snacks/water

Swimsuits, towels, sun hats 

Harp’s favorite blanket and wubbanub 

We loaded up the car, drove to the airport, and parked in the nearest parking garage to avoid a long shuttle to the terminals. As we unloaded the car onto the curb and the bus pulled over, we immediately started laughing at the bags surrounding us. We haven’t used the car seat adapter on our BOB Revolution Jogger... EVER. It made the stroller too big (way too big). However, I knew it would be helpful going through the airport and allowing us to easily gate check the car seat. 

We found the cheapest tickets we could on Southwest flying into Ft. Lauderdale and thus found ourselves flying right at bedtime (I don’t recommend that to anyone.. ever). Harper did well on the flight, we picked up the rental car and started our 2.5 drive to the condo. She woke up every two hours that night and was ready for the day at 6:45am. But we made it! 

[ourlifewithharper-blog]

I’ve been truly blessed with the financial stability (thank you, husband!) to stay home with my daughter from the day she was born. I worked a high-stress job with long hours and made the decision a little over a month into my maternity leave that returning just wasn’t the right thing for Harper, for me, or for my family. Instead, I picked up a part-time childcare position that allowed me to bring Harper and still add a little supplemental cash to the table. 

My husband and I both have family very close! His parents are about an hour away and mine are about half an hour away. They are both incredibly willing to watch Harper any time! But I wanted someone I could rely on that is in our area for those times we just want to pop in to happy hour on a Saturday afternoon or celebrate a work “all time high” for my husband on a Wednesday night. 

This will be the first time in my daughter’s life that anyone that isn’t family has watched her. I do consider myself to be a helicopter mom and generally follow attachment parenting - so this was huge for me! I started with a post to care.com stating our needs and the applications came rolling in! 

A week later and I had 35 applicants! This was the hilarious part.. It’s clear that some people took time to read our post and message with relatable experience. And it was also clear that some people did exactly the opposite. The messages indicated instantly if we would even consider someone to come to our home and watch Harper. Someone said they could even help with homework! I’m sure my nine month old would appreciate some help with her math homework.. *insert eye roll*. Another eager applicant said she wanted a full-time opportunity, needless to say she was out! 

A few phone interviews later and we have decided on our sitter! She’s a sweet, experienced girl with CPR and First Aid certifications and has Early Childhood Education experience. Our first “date night” is this Saturday. Stay tuned!

[ourlifewithharper-blog]

Motherhood is about balance. It goes from your nine month old sleeping the first seven hour stretch of her life one night to being up every hour on the hour the next night. It’s feeding your child an organic, non-GMO, gluten free meal for breakfast and letting her have a bite of your $3.00 Wegman’s cupcake for dinner. Motherhood is about creating messes and leaving a trail of your rainy day inside all over the house and it’s about the deep cleaning session during the next 2 hour stretch nap (you know, the one where you know you should probably sleep, too). 

Motherhood is a Monday on the couch watching Mickey Mouse Clubhouse and having in-depth one-sided conversations with your daughter and a Tuesday getting all of your errands done by 10:00am. Motherhood is three playdates in one week with a MamaBFF and spending the next three weeks trying to plan one. It’s the balance between nightly baths and the one you only want to give them because you can’t figure out what’s so sticky. 

Motherhood is the biggest smile of your life, followed by the biggest heartbreak because all of a sudden your baby looks like a little girl. It’s wishing, praying, and hoping for the independence and then melting when she wants you to hold her for every nap for a week. 

Motherhood is something for you and something completely different for me. It’s unique, changing every day, and growing with me. It’s the newborn stage I thought would never end, and the days I’d pause for a lifetime.

[ourlifewithharper-blog]

My husband looked at me tonight as we watched our bright eyed little angel play and blankly said “What did we do before her?”.. I responded confidently, “I have no idea. Honestly.” The truth? It took me a while to think about it, but I know what we did before her. We slept, we napped, we went out to bars and parties and festivals and concerts. What’s different now? My life is full in a way I hadn't experience before. I was a mom. I wasn’t able to nap whenever I wanted, sleep in on weekends, or drink 12 mimosas at brunch. Yes, I was happy. But I’m happier now. I’m complete.

I wake up early after a night of waking up with Harper at least twice (but really.. she sleeps ten hours, so I’m just being picky and no other mom wants to hear that). I make my coffee, change her diaper, and put on an episode of Mickey Mouse Clubhouse as we snuggle on the couch. We read books, go on walks, talk about the day ahead and our plans. Harper goes down for a long nap and I clean the house, pump, get lunch started/ready, and plan dinner. Then we go to “work”. 

We do still go to parties, and festivals, and concerts - football games, other sporting events, etc. We do still drink, have date nights, and spend time with family (even more now). We still laugh, we cry, and we adventure.

But, what’s different is that these days, I spend my time amazed at how I could possibly love someone so much. I think about how lucky I am, how blessed my family is, and I often wonder why I haven’t discovered a way to pause time. Yes, I was happy. But now I’m complete. Life before Harper was carefree, but it was missing something I never knew I was ready for. 

[ourlifewithharper-blog]

Our beautiful little girl made her appearance into the world on July 27, 2016. She was stubborn, sassy, and sweet from day one. Ever since then, every single day has been full of more love and joy than we could have imagined. Having your first child (or any number of children) is truly a blessing. Were we ready? Maybe. Maybe not. But the journey began. 

The last nine months have been filled with messes, laughter, tears, full hearts, and FUN. Motherhood isn’t easy, it isn't glamorous, it doesn't come naturally for everyone. It’s full of unsolicited advice, eye rolls, judgment, and happiness. Being a mom changed me, and I’m okay with that.