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Send help I'm writing slam at 1 am

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Balalaika and Red Swallows

I desperately want to write a fanfic about an ex Swallow (Russian Spies trained in seduction) working for Hotel Moscow. 

I feel like Balalaika would reform the girl a bit. Because despite her love of her country and her countrymen she is clearly not opposed to a little bit of individualism.

Swallows were trained brutally it was beaten into them that their body belonged to the state. And I feel like Balalaika would want to undo a little of that training. I just want to write a little soft balalaika, show that Roanapur hasn’t completely ruined the woman who would give up her rank to save a child. 

But there is also a chance that Balalaika hates Red Swallows as much as she hates the KGB and she wouldn’t give the girl the time of day.  

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Hot take but as much as Trans Spiderman is cool

TRANS IRON MAN.

I would like it to be noted this has nothing to do with RDJ being transition goals

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Tumblr am I trans

I have no particular gripe with my body. It's perfectly acceptable but I just can’t seem to shake the feeling that if presented with  a character selection screen at puberty I would have picked something different.

But what would I pick? There are three things I know I would take. Voice half an octave deeper, muscle definition and a flat chest.

But when i say them all together like that it seems obvious right. You would have been a man if you had the choice. But what leaves me unsure is the lack of urgency that is so characteristic of trans stories. The feeling that changing is a matter of life and death. I don’t feel any drive to change, it would just be nice if I could.

Its like there is an intensity dial in me stuck between two settings. If I felt any more strongly about this I would fight with everything I had to be seen as a man and if i felt any less strongly I wouldn’t question being a woman at all.

So the non binary would be the clear choice right. I suppose internally it is. But I don’t want to be treated as non binary. It feels like it comes with an inherent visibility that i would dislike   I guess I’d like to be treated like a guy.

And so it comes back to that, you want to look like and be treated like a guy and somehow you can still remain unsure. I guess your waiting for a breaking point, the straw that makes you want to scream “I’m not a fucking girl” if one never comes could you be happy with what you have now? I suppose the real question is could you be happy at all.

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I need to talk to someone about Krem. He is goals

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I need Yennefer/Tissaia imagines

Please, make my day send me all of them.

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What You Dare

A conversation between Yennefer and Tissaia before the battle of Sodden. Fluff ensues.  “Are you ready then? To die?”

“Why not, I’ve lived two or three lifetimes already”

“And you were never satisfied with any of them.” 

“I tried to be, but what is my satisfaction to you.” Yennefer said, quickly changing her tone

Tissaia laughed, raising her glass of ale. 

“Would I put up with all of your frivolities if I didn’t care, Would I offer you chance after chance if I didn’t understand.”

“We’re the same, you told me that. You put up with me because I do what you wish you had the guts to” She challenged the older sorceress. 

“And what, my dear Yennefer do I not have the ‘guts’ to do” Tissaia rose to the challenge. 

Yennefer leaned in, leaving little gap between the two of them. “Tell me, are you as much of a prude as you make yourself out to be.” 

Tissaia closed the gap completely, Pressing her lips to Yennefer’s, lightly at first but then deeper, more intense. Eventually they parted

“You tell me.” 

“Wow, you must think we’re going to die.” Yennefer gave a choked laugh

Tissaia snapped back into composure. “I don’t, but I’m prepared to.” 

It was at this moment that both women realized they were the target of many a careful glance from onlookers. 

“Perhaps we should move this to my tent.” Tissaia suggested. 

So the two women walked nonchalantly towards Tissaia’s tent. Tissaia sat on the bed, prompting Yennefer to join her. Yennefer smiled and took her place, curling into the crook of Tissaia’s shoulder. 

“How long did you want this” asked Yennefer. 

“Since Rinde, since I saw the sorceress you’ve become.” answered Tissaia. 

Yennefer smirked in amusement. “So Its my power your interested in?”

“I thought you would approve, it's what you look for in someone isn’t it.” Tissaia smiled back at her and, with a gentle pull on her waist, had her lying on the bed. Tissaia’s arms tight around the younger woman. 

“Damn, Damn! We are the same aren’t we?” Yennefer rolled to face Tissaia. 

Tissaia kissed the top of Yennefer’s head, still holding her waist. Yennefer started to toy with the top button of Tissaia’s dress. 

Tissaia smirked, “Is that what you want.” 

“Why not, if we want this we may not get another chance.” 

Tissaia knocked Yennefer’s hand off of her. “Don’t speak like that. We will survive this. We are Twenty of the most powerful sorcerers in the continent.”

“You really believe that”

“I do, and after we win we can spend a whole day alone together, doing whatever you are picturing in that twisted little mind of yours.”

“This is a bribe,” Yennefer said “You don’t want me to do anything stuipd tomorrow so you bribe me with sex?” 

“Clever girl, did it work?” Tissaia said, cupping her cheek.

“Maybe” Yennefer admitted, stretching up to kiss her again

Tissaia hummed allowing the kiss, eventually they broke away. “You should. . .”

Yennefer cut her off, rolling her eyes. “Is this the part where you tell me I need to rest, we have a big day tomorrow and I should go back to my tent.”

“You needn’t go back to your tent

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So is anyone else crackshipping Tissaia and Yennefer or is it just me

It's just me isn't it

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I want a Revy/Balalaika romance RP

Please, anyone

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I want to yell at someone about Black Lagoon

Пожалуйста

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*gets a new interest* ah.......... time to annoy my followers with 1 685 5753 6969 posts they did not ask for

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Thank you regular followers for putting up with my ever changing love for older women

The woman in question is Balalaika from Black Lagoon now. This blog will soon be run by Hotel Moscow

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Something I'd like to add. Another reason Balalaika doesn't react to the name Fry Face is because it's hardly an insult to her.

Unlike many female characters Balalaika is not only allowed to be disfigured but she is proud of them. She got her scars fighting for her country. Those are her medals.

Balalaika is the Perfect Strong Female Character: Part 1

(source)

There’s a reason I used the softest portrait of Balalaika for his essay that I could find: for all the talk of what a “badass” she is, she owns her femininity. She neither plays up her sexuality as a “vixen” nor downplays it as a “tomboy.” She wears her hair long because she wants to, and it doesn’t get in the way. She has long, well-manicured nails because she wants to have them, and they don’t get in the way. Anyone who makes the mistake of making assumptions about her sensitivities as a woman quickly finds out that she…thinks it’s completely irrelevant.

In essence, I think that’s what’s great about Balalaika as a female character: she just is who she is. She values her objectives above anything else. She doesn’t try to prove anything to anybody, because she stays so focused that she doesn’t have to. 

Plenty of people call her “fry face” or “that Ruski bitch” behind her back, but never to her face. That’s not because they think she’ll take personal offense, or even that one of her male subordinates will kill them to “defend her honor.” It’s purely because if you’re the type of person who would say that, you’re on unfriendly terms with her. If you’re on unfriendly terms and you see her or one of her subordinates face to face, you’re already dead. Nothing she does is ever completely personal. She is ruthless, but never malicious or spiteful. 

That’s not to say that she’s emotionally flat pragmatist robot. She clearly has a rich inner life. She often feels compassion for her enemies, and has real friendships with outsiders like the members of the Lagoon Company. In keeping with such complexity, she’s not opposed to random acts of kindness. 

The same woman who got discharged from the Russian military for saving a child in Afghanistan here…

Is the same woman who looks a child assassin (who tortured one of her subordinates to death) in the eye as she has her snipers shoot them in the leg. The show doesn’t show it in real time, of course, but apparently it takes him several minutes to slowly bleeds to death in the clip below. In both cases she did what she did because it would be “shameful” to do otherwise in a way that has nothing to do with her sex or gender. 

It’s no wonder the subordinate in question that the child murdered cried out for his “Capitán” until his last agonizing, grizzly final breath. 

Balalaika deeply respects and cares for her subordinates as much as hey respect and care for her. That becomes very apparent towards the end of the clip when she converses with the snipers who shot the boy about how emotionally difficult the entire ordeal was. If you don’t have the stomach to watch, I’ll spoil it for you now: it’s her right hand man who says “that was hard to watch.” Balalaika sincerely apologizes. 

There wasn’t a single moment of the scene in which she felt good about any of it.She simply calculated that such a method was absolutely necessary to honor the dead and maintain the reputation of Hotel Moscow, the crime syndicate that quite literally keeps Roanapur from collapsing in upon itself.

There are several moments throughout the series and OVA in which Balalaika seems outwardly calm and collected in moments of emotional turmoil. She will  will freely admit to feeling grief, regret, and/or hesitation about a ruthless action she has taken or is about to take. However, Rei Hiroe has written her win a way that never lets you think for even a second that she’s afraid to cry or express her emotions, and it is glorious!

Balalaika is so pragmatic at her core that she is more inclined to kill a rival mafia boss because their men are generally unruly rather than of any real threat they pose to her operation. She says as much to her right hand man while observing a yakuza beating Rock in an attempt to get attention from Revy. Her ire is raised not by the attack on her ally: she simply cannot stand to see “soldiers” misbehave. Both she and Sergeant Bosco (her right hand) say they wish they could wipe out the entire yakuza based on that unruly scene alone. Of course, no action is taken. She remarks upon it and moves on so as not to compromise her larger objective. 

I wouldn’t rule out possibility that she “breaks down and lets it all out” in private, and it certainly wouldn’t change my opinion of her. Given her position as the head of Hotel Moscow (and the most powerful person in all of Roanapur), those private moments are so few and far between that we never get to see them on the page or screen. Alternatively, she may be one of those people who doesn’t express sorrow with tears. Either way, you never get the sense that she’s struggling to “keep it together,”  in public, even when we know she feels emotionally devastated. That has nothing to do with being a woman: it has everything to do with being a good leader.

Unlike Berserk’s Casca, with her frequent emotional breakdowns on the battlefield over her commander/love interest, in front of her male subordinates, that gets men killed on more than one occasion…nobody feels the need to baby or defend Balalaika’s her. They respect her. They don’t treasure her as “their only flower.” (Sorry Judeau, but that line makes me cringe every time.)

Carefully observe the body language and positions of Balalaika and her subordinates carefully in this short clip.

She leads her men into battle. No henchman is ordered to handle the man who’s been running around town calling her a “fry faced Rutsky bitch,” and plotting to assassinate her. No subordinate dares to insult her by trying to handle the man himself. She doesn’t need them to because she can hold her own physically and mentally in a fight as well as any of her subordinates. 

If you pay attention to the overall context of the scene, it becomes clear that she didn’t come down there to kill him personally because she was offended by what he said about her. She felt it was necessary to maintain her relationship with Dutch and the Lagoon Company: a critical neutral party in her territory that she can’t afford to alienate. Balalaika is a very good friend to have indeed.

She’s a true leader that knows it’s her duty to protect and maintain order amongst her subordinates and the territory that she calls her own. In a better world, that would be the gold standard for leadership regardless of the sex or gender identity of the leader. 

That’s why I call her The True Goddess of War.™

Originally posted by warriormonk-devildog

NOTE: I titled this “part 1″ because there’s a lot more I want to write about her as a character. This started out as a much longer essay, but I decided to break things up for the sake of clarity and readability. Expect more Balalaika worship in the days and weeks to come. ^_~

Screencap source: Apres Moi Balalaika tribute AMV.

Special thanks to @opinionatedashellblog, @odilekuronuma (who wrote 2 of the 3 Casca analyses I linked to above) and @murasakihime. I wouldn’t have been inspired to write about any of the female characters I have from Black Lagoon thus far if it weren’t for you.

[overlooktheworld]

I ate a shitload of blackberries while watching a Dino Crisis let's play and now I associate Blackberries with Dino Crisis

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I got catcalled more at 16 than I do now 21.

My friend say it's cause I look like I could castrate a man with my bare hands

the thing about being someone who’s never catcalled is that you start to wonder why like is it because im ugly???

and then you realize that youre judging your worth by whether or not you are objectifiable to a man and thats so fucked up like honestly its so fucked up 

but the worst part about the patriarchy is that it still sits at the back of your mind regardless like “nobody thinks youre pretty because they dont see you as a sex object” like somehow thats a desirable thing and it fucks me up

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a couples of cash fic!

ok so i wrote this in a script format bcs i thought itd get a little repetitive the regular way, its also why i only did half the questions lol

–

(The Couples for Cashintro plays, the camera cuts to Vanessa first)

Vanessa: Hey,what’s good y’all? This is Vanessa Vanjie Mateo from seasons ten and eleven ofRuPaul’s Drag Race. Lately I have been touring, you know, being a good workhorse and shit. (pauses) Can I swear?Alright. Anyway! Y’all already know my boo, we met on the show, broke up, gotback together, yadda yadda yadda. They all know this already! Cut to BrookeLynn.

Brooke Lynn: Hi,my name is Brooke Lynn Hytes. I was the runner-up on season eleven of RuPaul’s DragRace. I am from Canada, but I have very recently moved to Los Angeles for work…andto live with my boyfriend. (laughs) Ihaven’t actually announced that publicly yet!

Vanessa: Yeah, Brookemoved in like…two weeks ago. You know, it’s very fresh, it’s a new thing. Butwe’re good with it. Like, we been touring together and shit, we know each other’shabits like, intimately. I don’t even mean that in a sexy way, we just know toodamn much about each other.

Brooke Lynn: Ithink like, Vanjie and I were sort of meant to be together. It didn’t work thefirst time, but now it’s legit, it’s for real.

Keep reading

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tumblr friendships are hard to maintain like im sorry i know i havent talked to you in 5 months but you’re still super rad and i still consider us friends im just dumb