owl-librarian

[owl-librarian]

What the flock?! such smart names!

Science should let more cartoonists name things. That how we got the thagomizer and the Rube Goldberg machines. Anyways! SHERLOCK CROWMES!!!!!

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[owl-librarian]

All these big companies changing their logos a dozen of times for something that looks worse every time, while the real all-time GOAT found the winning formula on the first try and then even did a victory lap with it:

[owl-librarian]

>Be me

>Make bowl of panda express leftovers

>Chow down on 2/3rds of it before father calls you over to show you memes

>Leave bowl unattended

>Laugh about memes for a good ten minutes

>Return to room

>??Bat? In bowl? ?

>Don't have anything to grab bat with that are bite proof

>Offer bat the head of the Winston Churchill marble bust to climb onto

>Bat does so

>Slowly carry Churchill and the bat to the window

>Bat won't let go of Churchill

>Pry bat off of him with nearby plastic skeleton hand

>Bat sits on windowsill for a second before flying off into the night

[owl-librarian]

Those posts that are like “Sparta was awesome they had this and that and” like, yes, Sparta was a pretty cool place to live, if you were a member of the ruling warrior caste. You know, the same ruling warrior caste who were all “members of the working class are legally required to receive a minimum of one (1) beating per year in order to remind them of their place, and also we encourage our children to literally hunt them for sport; on a completely unrelated note, we keep having violent rebellions and we can’t figure out why”.

[owl-librarian]

[owl-librarian]

An embroidery of the Wikipedia page for embroidery.

[owl-librarian]

‘capitalism works’ factoid actually untrue. the 62 people who own half the world’s wealth are outliers and should be eaten.

[owl-librarian]

My sister got a new kitten and it immediately decided to loaf on a watermelon and bless us with this picture.

[owl-librarian]

Give me more deranged expressions for animated female characters please because I am SO FUCKING HERE for this

[owl-librarian]

THEY TOOK THEIR CATS WITH THEM TO CYPRUS

[owl-librarian]

if you told vin diesel fast and the furious you were gay he'd be like "Some people like driving stick…some people like driving automatic…what matters is you cross the finish line.." and then he'd rev up a dodge challenger and drive through a building and kill 16 people

[owl-librarian]

[owl-librarian]

[owl-librarian]

being on tumblr for a long time but never reading homestuck like

[owl-librarian]

Lesbian flag Seychellized.

[owl-librarian]

my family always goes to new jersey for vacation and when I was a kid, to keep me entertained during the long drive, instead of playing ispy or playing kiddie music, my parents used to have me look for the jersey devil. like analyze the trees around us and see if anything was weird. if I seemed like I was getting bored of it they'd be like woah!!! look at the other side of the car molly I swear I just saw some glowing red eyes!!! I was so convinced I was gonna find that guy that I never even wondered what he'd be doing hanging around a traffic jam at like 11 in the morning. anyway I think getting your 4 year old to cryptid hunt is objectively hilarious