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also a poem from the new, unreleased collection. very possibly my own all-time favourite.

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i love that blahaj is a trans symbol

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Can I please hear more about the nan feng and fu yao au I love them so much

YES

- Fu Yao became a deputy official first; Feng Xin saw him trailing cheerfully behind Mu Qing one day and lowkey got competitive. He met and picked up Nan Feng soon after.

- Nan Feng's name is false, given to him by Feng Xin when he became a deputy official. He left his real name behind along with his mysterious, troubled history (meaning I haven't thought of it yet) in the mortal realm.

- Fu Yao was one of like eight children of a prestigious family, born to a particularly ambitious concubine. She was a really overbearing mother who involved FY in a bunch of succession struggle crap against his siblings, which made him run away from home to get away from it all instead.

- FXMQ thought they would compete against each other too, except FY despises competition due to his childhood, and NF is too concerned about work to go making even more problems for himself.

- On the contrary, NF and FY become friends from exposure bc their generals keep picking fights and destroying shit and they always end up having to clean up the mess together.

- NF kinda has a puppy crush on FY, who knows about it because he’s uncommonly emotionally intelligent, except he doesn’t do anything about it because NF is the opposite and doesn’t seem to actually realise his own feelings.

- They sometimes get into heated debates over which of their generals is better, which is about the worst their conflicts ever get. The argument generally stops because they have to go mediate an actual fight between FXMQ.

- While FXMQ were doing their tsundere-fuelled side quests with Xie Lian, NF and FY were holding down the fort in heaven.

- Every time XL visited heaven during his third ascension, NF and FY were ordered to go to the mortal realm, which they spent frolicking around together hunting ghosts and taking a break from paperwork. They basically missed the whole plot bc FXMQ forgot to call them back.

- Post-canon, NF and FY champion the FengQing agenda because FY wants his general to be happy and NF wants them to stop causing property damage with homoerotic tension-charged fist fights.

- Although generally carefree, FY is fiercely protective of MQ and will not tolerate slander in any form. Similarly, despite his huffing and complaining, NF is extremely loyal to FX.

That's all for this time. Thanks for the ask!

This AU is only gonna get longer so I’m making a masterpost

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drinking water when I have a headache should give instant relief. it should go away. what's even the point of drinking water if it can't do that

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It's impressive how Neil Gaiman vanished from the internet. Wish Rowling would do the same.

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When I tell you I snorted!

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- well, you have a muzzle

- not better yourself

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four metal chopsticks engraved with a quote from the poem "north country" by mary oliver:

you listen and you know you could / live a better life than you do, / be softer, kinder. and maybe / this year you will be able to do it.

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The Jojamart Junimo

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people love to take characters who are men and go "what if he was a prettyboy, what if he was a femboy, what if i drew art of him looking exactly like a woman?" and then look at you like you've grown a second head when you say "what if she was a trans woman?"

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Has anyone figured out what’s so viscerally wrong with this woman yet

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I'm not sure when exactly Mobei-Jun clued in 100% to his feelings for Shang Qinghua. You can write lots of different fun fics placing Mobei-Jun's "oh" realization in different places in SVSSS. I do think it took him a minimum of 5+ years, but that still gives us 20+ years of possibility because Moshang are truly incredible like that.

When Mobei-Jun fully realized his feelings is not important at the moment, however! Not the subject of interest here! Because I'm currently thinking about a possible stage before that, in which Mobei-Jun trusted Shang Qinghua more than anyone else in the world but hadn't yet allowed himself to think of such a ridiculous person as a romantic prospect. The stage when, due to pride and/or prejudice, Mobei-Jun still has Shang Qinghua in the "unfuckable" AND "unmarriageable" zones, but also still intends for his human servant to be by his side for the rest of his life.

Because, like, the stage before the long-brewing bubble of realization pops or the egg cracks or whatever can be the strangest of headspaces, where a person is juggling multiple conflicting ideas and still insisting to themselves that the ideas don't conflict. (See: Shen Yuan through all of SVSSS.) And I think Mobei-Jun deserves to suffer the embarrassment of looking back at his younger self's original life plans and finding them painfully obviously ridiculous.

Like, I think there was at least a solid month (but possibly even several years) where a younger Mobei-Jun's plans for the future looked something like this:

Become king. (Bring Shang Qinghua to ascension ritual.)

Kill or neutralize my uncle. (Ask Shang Qinghua for ideas.)

Conquer Demon and Human Realms. (Shang Qinghua should no longer waste so much time on his pathetic cultivation sect.)

Get married. (Doesn't really matter who it is. Have Shang Qinghua pick someone decent out.)

Have children to gain heirs. (Have Shang Qinghua raise them.)

???

Success. (Shang Qinghua is there.)

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i need everyone to hear the story of colman domingo meeting his husband bc it's just the most beautiful thing i've ever heard

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I understand the desire to ship but "we would find each other in every universe...as coworkers" is an insanely funny concept to me I'm sorry.