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1968.

Mounting the Mounties.

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https://ictnews.org/news/condors-are-coming-back-to-the-pacific-northwest

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Do Crocodiles Play?

In a brand-new paper titled “Play Behavior in Crocodilians,” Vladimir Dinets argues that not only do crocodiles play, but that they play in varied and complex ways. This may come as a shock to many people, used to thinking of reptiles as cold-blooded and emotionless- particularly crocodiles, which look like they’ve got nothing but murder on their minds 24/7. But looks can be deceiving.

Now, to be clear, Dinets’ paper is not a formal study, and leaves plenty of room for argument that crocodilians (a group that includes crocodiles, alligators, caimans, and others) do not actually play. In fact, though the researchers spent roughly 3,000 hours observing crocodiles for other studies, they only recorded seven instances of play. The other instances were anecdotes collected from crocodile keepers and farmers.

Any good scientist knows that anecdotes don’t provide conclusive proof of anything, but they are a good starting point. And the anecdotes are fascinating. They include tales of crocodilians surfing the waves, attacking (and courting) rubber balls, picking pink flowers, and even giving piggyback rides to other crocodilians. There are even reports of crocodiles playing with humans (Pocho the crocodile, pictured above, is mentioned) and one instance of an alligator playing with an otter.

These are all incredibly charming, of course, but it is quite possible to argue that they are not play. Firstly, what play actually is has been famously hard to define, and many animal behaviors once termed play have been found to have actual adaptive functions. For example, before it was known that male fireflies flashed to attract mates, early researchers thought it was for the sheer pleasure.

There is a lot we do not know about crocodilian behavior, in part because they are so different from mammals, right down to the metabolism. Frivolous activity is harder to justify when you are not warm-blooded and need to be more careful about conserving energy. And as with the fireflies, behaviors that apparently have no adaptive purpose can turn out to be performed for specific goals.

So do crocodiles play or not? My hunch is that they do, though probably not nearly as often or even in the same ways that mammals might. There is no conclusive evidence yet to confirm this. Still, of all the things that might interest a crocodile, I bet you never thought of “pink flowers.”

Source:

Dinets, V. (2015). Play behavior in crocodilians. Animal Behavior and Cognition, 2(1), 49-55.

(This paper came out with perfect timing, because I am now writing an extensive article on the weird enigma of animal play. It should be out in the next couple of weeks!)

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Hey you know how I said I was going to make a workbook on the kind of bullshit you need to do when someone you love dies? I actually did that.

HERE IS THE VERSION WITH LOTS OF SWEARING AT THE USELESS, SHITTY SITUATION YOU’RE IN.

HERE IS THE VERSION WITH A FAIR AMOUNT OF BLACK HUMOR BUT NO CURSEWORDS.

Featuring Helpful Sections such as:

Death Certificates – What you need, why you need them, and how to get them

Prepare to spend a long and miserable time on the phone

What the Everloving Fuck is Probate

Some Simple Dos and Don’ts

Shitty Mad Libs – Templates for writing Obituaries and Memorials

How to plan a non-religious death party

So you suddenly have to become some sort of hacker or some shit

This is an eighteen page book that you can print out, download, share, and give away; it is meant to be used to collect information about funeral planning and account management after a death OR you can use it BEFORE you die and give people information so they’re not stuck playing Nancy Fucking Drew while trying to keep seventeen cousins who crawled out of the woodwork from gutting each other in front of the fucking casket as they argue about who’s inheriting grandma’s favorite dentures.

It’s not exactly cheerful and it’s full of things that are probably going to feel really fucking raw if you’re processing a fresh death.

I’m sorry! I love you! Death is shitty! I’m trying to laugh about it a little and I hope you can laugh a little too because otherwise we’re all just going to cry together.

Good luck!

(in memory of my weirdo mother and her weirdo siblings who all died too fucking young and left me holding this flaming bag of dogshit)

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"Earth is narrowing around us Forcing us into the last passage So we take off our body parts to pass through Earth is squeezing us If only we were its wheat to die and live again If only she were our mother to have mercy upon us If only we were images of the rocks our dream will carry as mirrors We saw the faces of those the last of us will kill in the final defense of our soul We cried for their children’s feast We saw the faces of those who will throw our children out of the windows of this last space mirrors our star will polish Where do we go after the last borders? Where do birds fly after the last sky? Where do plants sleep after the last air? We will write our names in crimson mist We will sever the anthem’s hand our flesh will finish it We will die here Here in this last passage Here or here Our blood will plant its olive trees" -Mahmoud Darwish