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paechwrites · 4 years

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A mega gift fic I did for @caruleanfox as a writing exercise and because I just wanted to lol. Enjoy ʕ•ﻌ•ʔ

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It was the third time in the row that Dave came by to his sister's house, the first visit Rose assumed he needed something, eggs or milk maybe; it wasn't odd for him to swing over to Rose and Kanaya's house, showing up on their doorstep at least once a week or so and asking if they wanted to join him in whatever social activities he had planned.

But instead, Dave casually offered to watch over their son, Jasper, with a solemn expression. The first time, Rose gladly handed him over without a second thought, needing a night out for just her and Kanaya without maternal duties. The second run happened two days after, three movie tickets in his hand and inquiring if Jasper wanted to go with him and Karkat to the theatres. The movie, in question, was a kids film, particularly for children under the age of five. Jasper, what Dave shrugged off as a coincidence, happened to be under the age of five - two, to be specific.

Rose smirked at this, commenting slyly on the matter. "Did you really go and buy tickets at the box office for a mind-numbing children's film, even if my answer if Jasper could come was no? Are you regressing due to your blemished childhood? I hope Karkat hasn't reacted so negatively to this development."

Dave frowned, shaking his head and insisting he just wanted to spend quality time with his nephew. Nonetheless, Rose complied, taking a moment to bathe him while Kanaya proceeded to dress him. Once Dave dropped off Jasper back to his home, their son had been the most hyper he'd ever been, after consuming popcorn and a probable gratuitous amount of candy without monitors.

Perhaps Dave was merely trying to win Jasper's love, bigger than he adored his mothers. Kanaya, admittedly, felt a twinge of jealousy creep up her shoulder.

And the third time, Dave took him for a day out at Chuckie E. Cheese and insisted Rose and Kanaya join along, to which Jasper wasted no time getting tuckered out; Dave had to fit himself into the kiddy playhouse entrance and climb up obstacles in order to fetch him from the highest ground. When Dave brought him down, his face had been greased with specks of pizza sauce and only a handful of tickets clutched in his little hand.

Dave went ahead and used a napkin from a nearby empty table to rub away the sauce, fixing the strands of bleach hair then asking him gently if he wanted to cash in the the tickets before they left the establishment. That moment, Rose had never seen once, a fatherly aura practically radiating from the display, not to mention once Dave set him down and reached for his hand.

Rose and Kanaya had never certainly seen that side of him, Dave moreso acting as Jasper's fun, no-limit uncle that helped him to get food smattered on his face and clothes with spoilt treats added. Mainly because he didn't have kids of his own so repercussions weren't always present in his mind than just having simple fun. The change was drastic, not even Karkat had an answer to it when questioned about it.

Then it hit them. Rose and Kanaya shared knowing, curious looks as they walked back to the car while Dave carried Jasper on his shoulders.

~~~~

"Is there something you've been pondering about, Dave?" Rose asked, criss-crossed on the couch on an afternoon with Dave sitting inches away from her on the couch.

Dave shot his head up from his phone, a reflection of Rose staining his shades.

"Ponderin' about what brand of shoes I should buy? Fuck yeah, I've been, I only have like one pair of shoes like as if I'm a bum on the street with tissue boxes for shoes and shaking that mug as rhythmically as I can, except instead of pennies, it says coochie because matters of the heart come first." Dave spouted, checking his phone when it buzzed in his palm. Rose gave him a mellow look, fixing her posture on the cushions.

"I think Nike's would look good," Rose mused out loud, thuds suddenly resonating out in the hall until her purple eyes landed on Jasper; who beamed at the sight of his uncle.

"But you and I both know that wasn't what I was referring to."

Dave raised both his brows above his shades, watching as Jasper toddled over to Rose and stabled his hands on her lap.

"I don't know what the hell you're getting at, but I genuinely thought you were invested with me about choosing what sick shoe wear I should buy. I'm hurt, Rose." Dave put an exaggerated hand to his chest, earning Rose to roll her eyes.

"I'll humor you later on that, if you'd like, but I called you over for important matters." Rose stated, resting a soothing hand on Jasper's stark white hair. Dave shrugged lightly in response.

"Nothing important really going on."

"Matters as in, family matters. Or alternatively, why you keep whisking away my son."

Dave froze, lowering down his phone as his thumbs hovered above the keyboards.

Rose looked at him attentively, her posture fitted into as if she was a therapist handling one of her usual patients.

"Well, uh," he cleared his throat, turning off his phone and glancing up at Rose with his shades mirroring a view of herself. Rose suddenly placed both her hands against one knee, perking it up a bit on the couch and making Dave groan.

"I feel like I'm being interviewed for a babysitting job here." Dave said, slackening his shoulders.

"I mean technically, you've been babysitting these past days."

"Those are classic uncle bro bonding days, not boring ol' hours of making sure the kid doesn't get into any trouble around the house."

"Jasper rarely gets into trouble, mind you."

"Yeah but that ain't the point though."

Rose piqued an eyebrow, scanning him over suspiciously with deep purple eyes.

"You know, I've never really pegged you as one to have baby fever," Rose said, causing Dave to choke up and grasp a hold onto his pants.

"Baby fever? There's no baby fever or any sort of fever flaring up in here." Dave deadpanned, as hard as he could manage, what with his voice raising high pitched in the middle of his sentence. Rose pursed her lips in amusement.

"Are you and Karkat, perhaps, leaning in a family-way now?" Rose smirked, Dave immediately waving her off before dropping his hand flat. He emitted a loud sigh, his cheeks flushing and feeling more vulnerable than he's ever been. She'll prattle on about this if he doesn't come clean.

"Okay," Dave started. "Okay, okay. This is really fuckin' dumb, it happened in a really-"

"Dave." Rose cut in a little sharply, gesturing towards Jasper with a nod of her head.

"I mean, uh, this is really kinda unfortunate and dumb that I have really strong feelings for, and it happened in a very uncharacteristic cool kid way." he rambled, Rose humming responsively.

"Go on."

Dave let out a huff.

"Dude, make sure you know how to handle those kids," Dave advised, not looking up from his phone as he slung his arm over the bench and bubbly giggles poured into his ear, Karkat's more deeper, scratchier laughter roaring above them. "I don't wanna deal with angry lusii or something. Whoever the hell is in charge of those kids."

"I'm wrangling them just fine, thanks for asking." Came Karkat's gruff, along with grub chirrups. Dave nodded mindlessly, scrolling through his new messages. For awhile, Karkat's laughter intermingled with practically chipmunk-squeaked voices were all Dave could hear, eventually growing fond of the sound with a small smile tugged at the corner of his lip. The growing generation of young trolls loved Karkat astoundingly, just as much as they did Kanaya; it was quite comedic to see a grub latch onto his pant leg as he started trekking back home.

"Hey Dave!!"

At this, Dave lifted his head up and away from his screen, a low sounding 'yeah?' under his breath. The view of Karkat being used as a jungle gym obstacle for the young trolls met his shaded gaze, a bronze grub tucked to his chest and pressing its head affectionately into him, a wide toothy grin plastered on Karkat's face as a rust climbed and perched onto his shoulder.

"These little bastards think I'm cooler than you!" Karkat boasted. He never was one for censoring himself around delicate, impressionable ears - that is, unless Rose and Kanaya were around. They'd lecture him more than once when a profanity would slip off his gray tongue with innocent Jasper only inches away.

Dave couldn't help but emit a giggle, warmth vibrating throughout his chest. His small smile transpired to a full, fleshed smile, just the imagery of Karkat doting on children set a sudden flame.

It wasn't seconds long until the thought rushed into his head; the thought of a tiny being that shared Karkat's gray skin, but looked like Dave and had his unnaturally burgundy pupils, right there in the commotion with the wrigglers and Karkat. He swallowed.

Dave buried his face into his palms, shades pushed up against his forehead. Rose, this time, looked at him with a soft smile, shifting a little closer to him and placing a hand on his knee. Jasper stood onto his tippy toes, reaching for the slowly sliding-off shades, to which Rose made a disapproving noise of and probed him to quickly snatch away the shades.

Rose playfully shook her head, then reverted her attention back on Dave.

"Well, there is certainly nothing wrong with developing a paternal need.." Rose started, Dave squeaking into his palms. Oh, jesus, it was a terrible idea to converse with Rose about this. But what other choice did he have? Karkat was off the table immediately (for now) and Kanaya would undoubtedly take the same route Rose is doing now, the others he just didn't feel too confident to bring it up. His ears felt hot, feeling as if every eyes in the room were glued onto him; except for perhaps one little boy too transfixed with Dave's shades behind the couch.

"Oh my god, Rose, no."

"I think you'd make an excellent father, and Karkat definitely fits the role quite nicely from what Kanaya has told me."

"Rose, don't infect me with your family disease-"

"I think it's about time Jasper gets a cousin anyway, he spends a little too much time with adults rather than other children his own age range, don't you agree?"

Dave issued another throaty noise, a bright red blush painting his face behind his hands. He'd have to talk to Karkat about the idea tonight, instead of harboring it any longer.

***

Karkat tapped his spoon against the rim of the bowl, watching the dices of chopped carrots swimming in the broth, mixed with pieces of chicken and optional trollian toppings. Dave still wasn't up for trying Alternia cuisines, much to Karkat's annoyance, so he made sure to store a separate pot for himself that were filled to the brim of what Dave would gag at and compare it to the most vulgar of things.

Karkat hummed thoughtfully, dipping his spoon back into the soup and bringing it into his mouth. Where was Dave anyway? Dinner had been prepared half an hour ago and the last time Karkat heard of him was when he was at Rose and Kanaya's house.

As if on que, sounds of the living room door creaking open echoed throughout the house, signaling of Dave's arrival.

Karkat perked his posture up a little. Dave walked into the kitchen, shuffling with something in his pocket. It took a minute for Dave to lift his head, a small smile tugging at his lip.

"Yo, Karkat, sorry if I took long." Dave greeted, placing his phone on the table and then heading to the fridge.

"You do know there's freshly cooked dinner to your side, right?" Karkat questioned. Dave shrugged, patting his stomach as he pulled out a basket of strawberries.

"Already ate at Rose and Kanaya's house." he replied, taking a seat across Karkat with the full basket and plucking one out.

All around, dinner was unusually quiet - Dave was unusually quiet, and this set Karkat off a bit. On an ordinary night, Dave would be flapping his mouth away, making all sorts of gestures and going from topic-to-topic. Maybe Dave just wasn't feeling talkative tonight.

But then.

"Hey, so Karkat, you remember that thing like a week ago?"

Karkat looked up from his plate, eyebrow arched. That was unspecified.

"A thing? From a week ago?" Karkat repeated, confused. Dave nodded his head, coughing into his arm as he seemingly choked on a strawberry stem.

"Yeah, y'know, when we were like....uh, at the park?" Dave recounted, a blank expression embedding Karkat's face until he hummed responsively.

"With the lovable little shits? Yeah, I remember that." Karkat said, taking a swig of his drink. Dave stared at his husband through his shades, lips thinned. How in the world was he supposed to go about this without his face looking like a tomato and his hands distractingly fidgety.

Dave let out a drawn string of 'uh's, resting his elbow on the table. Dave never wished for anything more than for Karkat to magically read his racing thoughts, chewing the inside of his cheek as a tic.

Karkat had always been a paternal type, as much as he wouldn't admit and only respond with an roll eye; Dave studied how his expression seemed to soften at the immediate moment a small chubby hand slapped against his chin.

Come on, Dave, the blond thought to himself.

Straightening his stature, Dave pursed his lips. "I could've confused you for a jungle gym obstacle that day, all the grubs and wrigglers just crawlin' over you like you're the Ronald McDonald statue out in the play area. Or wait, were actually any Ronald McDonald statues? Back on my old Earth, I mean, because I swear I have this fuzzy memory of a commercial coming onscreen where other little kids were thrashing and circling around a plastic Ronald McDonald statue like it was the holy man himself, McDonald's being the most devout of all restaurants."

Karkat simply rolled his eyes.

"Hey, you think those kids ever been to Earth C's McDonald's before?" Dave piped up, Karkat only shrugging his arms.

"I don't know, Dave, I'm not even those wrigglers' guardian so it's not like I see them everyday and know what they've been doing or where they've been, let alone digested." Karkat said. A surprising grin mounted itself on Dave's face, startling Karkat just a little.

"Aw sweet, I bet the grubs don't even know what the hell a McDonald's is and the non-grubby ones probably love the shit out of it, McDonald's is practically every kid's paradise to dine out at, I've only gone like three or four times when I was a kid, but that place was an absolute heaven to me, being able to sip on apple jay and eating probably-processed cheeseburgers and greasy as fuck fries-"

Karkat cut into his husband's overtly exciting rambling without hesitation. "Dave, we're most likely not gonna see that gang of ankle biters again."

Dave immediately deflated. Oh, no.

"What?"

"Half those kids belonged to parents and lusii already present at the park, remember?"

"Yeah, but, didn't you say they were from the brooding caverns?" Dave questioned, tilting his head a little.

"The grubs were from the brooding caverns, but Kanaya's already cleared out the already-hatched grubs from the caverns two days ago, ready for the Mother Grub to deposit more eggs." Karkat explained, watching Dave slumped in his seat with a look of realization and thin lipped upsetness. Karkat chewed on his lip lightly.

It was quiet for a short moment, Dave looking plainly at the table cloth before choking out an 'oh'. Possibly finding the sudden silence just as awkward and unwelcomed the mutant troll found it.

Dave bit his tongue, tips of his fingers burning as he ached to spit out his offer already. He gulped heavily.

"Hey, uh, Karkat, Karlkat, kitkats, Karks," Dave fumbled, leaning more into the elbow laid on the table. "I don't think I've ever used those nicknames before, except for probably kitkat because I mean c'mon, your name practically sets itself up for that pun like it's got no business, I think I actually have a paper with a laundry load of written idea nicknames I can give you, hold on let me go get it-"

"Dave!" Karkat snapped, making the man pause midway of lifting off his seat.

Dave quickly plopped back down, clearing his throat to refresh their conversation. He stabled his feet to the ground, staring directly at Karkat through his shades. Are his shades even appropriate right now? Should he take him off so Karkat could take him seriously?

His fingers moved up a tad, almost wanting to act on just that.

"Karkat, I was kind of thinking, like a lot on this," Dave started, brushing his hand over the black ledges of his shades. His voice almost cracked, nerves jumbling and surging through him. "Those kids from the park, uh, really made me consider something. Of how it would feel like, and be like, to have a lil' tike running around...here too."

Karkat shifted an eyebrow up at him, his face flying into a curious look, and a bit wary. Dave took that as a sign to continue, attempting his hardest not to get caught up in his rambles.

"I've actually sometimes wondered what adorable abomination we could make, like how red their eyes would be, your bright pigment or mine, or if they'd have bleach white strilonde hair, horns or hell, no horns at all."

Karkat slowly released his spoon from his grasp, mouth slightly open. Dave laughed nervously, cheeks flushing from embarrassment.

"What would we name it anyways? Jayden Broseph Karkat The Second Strider-Vantas? Or just Strider?" Dave itched at the back of his palm. "And, y'know, I think it'd be cool to have a family with you - we're already at that age and married, so it's not like we're speeding through this like a goddamn Mario game, have myself a best dad in the world cup while you get the kid ready for school. Rose and Kanaya have been waiting on our asses anyways to get Jasper some new playmate, so..."

Dave removed his glasses from the bridge of his nose, white and red staring keenly at Karkat.

"What....do you think?" he asked aloud.

Karkat blanched. His pointed ears turnt down, hesitating what to say, as a low blush crept on his face and spread.

"Okay. Um, wow," Karkat coughed out, eyes wide. "Are you - you sure?"

"Absolutely, man."

"With me?"

"Who else would I do this with, Gamzee?"

Karkat's eyes traced back to his bowl, shoulders tightening with a grand decision hanging over them. His food might've gone cold by now. He couldn't remember the last time he touched it, actually.

"Alright."

John gaped at them, looking Dave and Karkat up and down before a big grin painted his face.

"So, will you help?" Dave asked once more, returning back the same excited smile as Karkat shuffled behind him.

"Absolutely!" John yelled. "Oh, this is so exciting!"

"I know bro."

The moments in the ectolabs seemed like a blur to Karkat, everything happening so quickly as he stood before the platform and peered down at it intensely, boldly. Waiting for the bundle to just zap and appear, his heart thrumming.

Dave choked beside him, already breaking out into a sweat. "God, I'm so nervous."

"Dave, it's a little late for nervous." Karkat grumbled back, but swallowing thickly with anticipation.

In a flash, what took a swift second but the mutant couldn't tell as he screwed his eyes shut, messy bleach hair suddenly appeared and caught his eye instantly. Two new big and red eyes casted open, six talons clacking against the platform as the red grub emitted a yawn into the air.

"Holy shit its got my hair." Was the first thing Dave voiced. She looked at the two confused, switching her head from the human to the troll. Karkat felt his gaze permanently glued to the new grub, unable to tear his eyes from the mix of red and pale gray and white fluff of hair.

"She."

"What?" Dave looked over at him.

"She has your hair....and my blood color." he corrected slowly, while Dave contorted into a surprised expression.

Karkat swallowed again, staring in disbelief at the small thing in front of him. Dave nudged him gently.

"Pick her up." Dave murmured, causing the mutant troll to nod lightly before carefully moving into hold his daughter up, for the first time. This way, Karkat and Dave got a better look at her. She wriggled a bit in Karkat's hands, giving another yawn that showcased her tiny sharp teeth.

"Fuck she's tiny." Dave observed, leaning into Karkat and shifting his shades up a little.

"She's a grub," Karkat said plainly, his tone leaning defensive. "Grubs are naturally tiny."

"I know, though she's not all troll." Dave reminded him, a defeated agreement coming from the troll. He never made so much extra precaution before of holding his grub, making sure to not squeeze her too tight in case his claws pricked her but not too loose where he'd accidentally and regretfully drop her. She reopened her bright red eyes soon enough, staring at him mindlessly.

"Yeah, she's gonna be a weird as fuck kid." Karkat stated, quite affectionately while he softly rubbed a thumb over her chubby cheek. She suddenly glared furiously at him, puffing her cheeks up into a ball. Dave reeled his head back, pretending to feel intimidated by the adorably grumpy, fierce expression his grub gave him.

"Oh jeez, look at that scowl, looks like she doesn't like being called weird." Dave whistled, cracking into a smile. "She looks like you."

Karkat furrowed his caterpillar brows, simultaneously with their new daughter. Dave emitted an amused sound, planting a hand on Karkat's shoulder as he weaved his other through her hair.

A surprised expression struck his face suddenly, pausing his hand for a moment before pushing aside her hair, revealing nubby horns, mirroring her troll dad's but just a tad nubbier, beneath the mountain of white hair.

"She even has your horns." Dave said gleefully, shifting his weight more onto Karkat and wrapping his entire arm around his neck. Karkat grinned, proceeding to cradle his kid closer to his chest, the grub hooking her talons on his turtleneck and keeping a steady gaze on Karkat, responsive small chirrups spilling out from her then nuzzled her grouchy chubby face into his chest when he laid a small kiss to her silky hair.

#my writing #gift fic #don't wanna tag this with any fandom tags bc this is longer than the others and mobile still doesn't have the read more feature #for some reason

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