paleomaggot

[paleomaggot]

religious people: thank you god for inventing the accordion i love it soso much <3333

atheists: its seriously incredibly beautiful that people invent instruments like. someone came up with the idea for the accordion. howw.

agnostics: no one knows where the accordion came from

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Would you rather have knockoff jack skellington or jackoff skell knockington

[paleomaggot]

1 & 2 are restrictions. 3 and 4 aren’t (because the invariability of math is good). 5 is maybe a hypothetical restriction but it’s unlikely to have practical consequences. I don’t know about 6.

Which of the following would you consider examples of "restrictions" or "limitations"?

The fact that murder is illegal

The fact that you cannot leave the Earth without reaching its escape velocity

The fact that, in ordinary natural number arithmetic, 1 + 1 cannot equal 3

The fact that, in ordinary natural number arithmetic, 1 + 1 cannot equal adjhfue4bw

The fact that nanehnfne cannot ainoefiunerinuv

nqiofhbirhbfoqohjepb2bupi3f

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[paleomaggot]

Just unfollowed almost everyone

[paleomaggot]

you’ve really changed my mind with this one! “Suck my nuts” was exactly when I realised just how wrong I have been all my life.

Wild that folks keep saying beekeepers abuse bees as if bees are not both venomous flying animals and fully unionized

[paleomaggot]

Fallacy fallacy

here’s a more recent source for the claim about bees wings being clipped: https://thewalrusandthehoneybee.com/clipping-queens-is-a-good-idea/#:~:text=Good%20Practise,%2Dwintered%20red%2Ddot%20queens.

Wild that folks keep saying beekeepers abuse bees as if bees are not both venomous flying animals and fully unionized

[paleomaggot]

In House of Leaves, Navidson spends huge chunks of the book stuck in his home, while in Homestuck, John leaves the house almost immediately. Really makes you think.

[paleomaggot]

[paleomaggot]

variations on "feel old yet" meme:

lying (overshooting): feel old yet? the first episode of spongebob aired 36 years ago

lying (undershooting): feel old yet? the first episode of spongebob aired 7 years ago

lying by a ridiculous amount (overshooting): feel old yet? the first episode of spongebob aired 900 years ago

lying by a ridiculous amount (undershooting): feel old yet? the first episode of spongebob aired 15 minutes ago

real date of event no one reading was alive for: feel old yet? the great san francisco earthquake happened 118 years ago

real date of event no one reading was alive for or cares about: feel old yet? prince frederick henry died 395 years ago

event no one reading was alive for and also lying: feel old yet? the great san francisco earthquake happened 4 years ago

event that did not happen: feel old yet? brian mulroney was assassinated 48 years ago

event that did not happen and even if it did this would be a lie: feel old yet? brian mulroney was assassinated 197 years ago

real date of event on a cosmological scale: feel old yet? the sun was formed 4,600,000,000 years ago

lying on a cosmological scale (undershooting): feel old yet? the sun was formed 12 years ago

lying on a cosmological scale (overshooting): feel old yet? the first episode of spongebob aired 12,000,000,000 years ago

real date of a personal anecdote that only you know or card about: feel old yet? i made a really good stir fry 5 years ago

reversal: feel young yet? frozen 3 is coming out in 3 years

reversal on a cosmological scale: feel young yet? the sun will collapse in 8,000,000,000 years

reversal (lying about event): feel young yet? the first episode of spongebob will air in 3 years

reversal (lying about time, overshooting): feel young yet? frozen 3 is coming out in 8,000,000,000 years

reversal (lying about time, undershooting): feel young yet? the sun will collapse in 3 years

reversal (lying about time, really undershooting): feel young yet? the sun will collapse in 12 minutes

real date of a recurring event that wasn't very long ago: feel old yet? halloween was 13 days ago

lying about recurring event: feel old yet? halloween was 10,000 years ago

reversal of recurring event: feel young yet? thursday is tomorrow

reversal of personal anecdote: feel young yet? my laundry is done in 52 minutes

real(?) date of a nonspecific event: feel old yet? something happened 2 years ago

lying about the reader (undershooting): feel old yet? you were born 5 years ago

lying about the reader (overshooting): feel old yet? you were born 650 years ago

making a reasonable guess about the reader: feel old yet? you were born 22 years ago

technically telling the truth about the reader: feel old yet? you were born between 0 and 120 years ago

threatening the reader: feel young yet? you will die in 7 days

non sequitur: feel old yet? half of all chameleon species on earth live in madagascar

non sequitur (lying): feel old yet? chameleons are immune to fire

lying on several levels: feel old yet? chameleons were invented 36 years ago

self-reference: feel old yet? i started writing this post 40 minutes ago

giving up: feel old yyet?th e emmenkr,tn dbw a 8 gn m hk\

i can't finish the joke someone else come up with a punchline: feel old yet?

declarative statement: you feel old.

subversive declarative statement: time isn't even real.

reference another meme: feel old yet? yeah. this is the beach that makes you old.

reference another meme specifically about injecting non sequiturs into long posts: feel old yet? the glue that lets you walk up and down anything was invented 36 years ago

[paleomaggot]

why didn't they just leave pompeii when the volcano erupted? were they stupid?

[paleomaggot]

Beowulf the seraph

(He/any)

[paleomaggot]

lust & limerence (1/2)

part 0

Uncertain if I'll finish part 2 before I go afk for a couple months

[paleomaggot]

a few pieces of the beginning. if anyone was wondering exactly where the events diverge from the main story, it’s here. [S] Equius: Seek the highb100d goes exactly the same as it does in canon. the only difference is the time nepeta shows up.

also, as this au moves forward, please don’t take it too seriously. again, i’m really just making this for fun and practice. it’ll inevitably be imperfect.

(next parts: 1, 2)

[paleomaggot]

another cat boy

(he/him) 🐱

[paleomaggot]

Looks like the zeon radiator is busted.. and on top of that, your quartz reflectors are completely fogged up. It's gonna cost you at least 300k credits to get this thing running, without including aesthetic work. Not that you'll need it to run the marshes of Crax... but looking good never hurts.