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[panda1sg7y]

Today is December 23rd 2022 and I’m extremely happy to report that Megan Thee Stallion has finally won the case against Tory Lanez as he has been found guilty of all charges against him, there’s honestly so much I wanted to say during this trial but because it was so stressful I wasn’t able to get anything out but now it’s over I can rant. First off, the people’s response to this trial was as completely disgusting and disrespectful- there were WAY too many men, and no I’m not saying people because it was mostly men saying that she was only doing this to tear down Tory is honestly ridiculous. Tory Lanez is and will remain a nobody, almost everyone barely knew who he was so the idea of Meg doing this to tear him down makes no sense, what do you gain from tearing down a nobody? Nothing, absolutely nothing. Second thing is the way that these people treated Megan outside of indirect tweets, if you were one of the people leaking her bodyguard's nudes or sending death threats to her then you are nothing but pathetic- Megan has already opened up about her anxiety and fears before, hell there's a damn song about it. But some of y'all managed to push her to the brink of wanting to kill herself and for what? Like what was it for?

[panda1sg7y]

Okay it took me a while but I’m finally cooled off and ready to dive deep into this troublesome topic, that being first romanticized and sexualized violence against women. I wanted to use multiple examples for this, the first being Reylo and then Catradora but I’m scraping the Reylo part because I think the Catradora part is not only more interesting but also more personal since I’m not only a IPV victim but have also experienced IPV in sapphic relationships. To give a little background on this example, Catra and Adora are two characters from the animated She-Ra series who got together at the end and became one of the most popular canon sapphic couples in media…and they’re also an abusive incestuous relationship. In short Catra spends the entire 4 seasons being physically abusive to Adora, attempting to kill her, and gaslighting her until the creator decided to pair them together for god knows what reason- I say this is romanticized because of not only the framing but the way both fans and creator interpret the relationship between the two. Nate Stevenson ( the creator ) constantly draws Adora with scratch marks on her face and her goddamn back from Catra beating the shit out of her gf as if it’s some kinky joke as well as fans enjoying the scenes where Catra slaps and manipulates Adora to translate to sexual tension which is also worrying because they were minors for a good portion of the show. The way that this type of stuff was excessively sexualized to the point of no return has always been the product of other normalized violence but also normalized and romantic violence put onto each other and especially women in sapphic relationships. As a bi girly myself who’s also been abused by other women I can confidently say that not only was I ignored because my abuser was a woman but also when coming out about my abuse specifically to men it was along the lines of most making sexual comments towards me, my abuser, and about my trauma as well as homophobia and dehumanization. A lot of this stuff changes when you talk about violence and romanticized struggles with black women which is why that’s going to be a different thing entirely but let me tell you that white abuse victims will always be favored publicly over black abuse victims and especially black fem abuse victims.

[panda1sg7y]

I don’t feel like typing all of this out again since I cried while writing in the first time.

[panda1sg7y]

After finishing Wakanda forever I sincerely do not understand how other black women could romanticize the things that Shuri and Namor went through together and ACTUALLY think they have a chance to end up in a romantic relationship… I’m definitely gonna touch on this whole trend of violence against women being fetishized in fandom and I’m also gonna touch on romanticized struggles of black women once I’m not steaming with rage.

[panda1sg7y]

DWB p3, the fantasy 🔮

I’ve stated before in this Ptolemy series that a lot of black women turn to white, light skinned, biracial and non blk men as a scapegoat because of their trauma with monoracial and dark skinned black men and while that is still true on the other side of the shit show you have what I like to call “the fantasy” aka a white or non blk man who specifically goes after black women with this type of trauma or just black women in general because they fetishize their race, culture, and ethnic features. I’ve seen so many ppl on the internet talking how much they want a black queen , chocolate muffin , or posting videos with a black American girl doll braiding her hair for their desired biracial children ( no fr this actually happened ) this type of behavior is always gross and can even lead into white savior complexes with how these men feel as though they are saving black women from black men or even worse taming black women and pushing them to adapt to a lifestyle that is more suburban white mom than anything else. This happens a lot with black men as well except when people fetishize them it’s way more obvious, like for example the bbc trend that’s happening on tiktok with many non black and more commonly white women talking about how much they love black men and the bodies common amongst black men. There’s also a lot of featurism as well as colorism that goes into the mix of all of this that I personally cannot speak on because I’m not ✨black✨ but I can at least acknowledge that it happens and is 100% a problem that should be addressed in black dating spaces. It’s getting harder and harder to end these spaces without telling y'all to be kind or some corny shit

[panda1sg7y]

DWB p2, the colorist

The other day I saw a tiktok of a man describing how god made dark skinned women describing them as violent, disrespectful, and generally unlovable and this girl me thinking about how rampant colorism in the black community is especially when that colorism is put towards black women. I mean, look at the angry black woman or the strong black woman trope, often used to express disdain for dark skinned black women just existing using all the stereotypes I listed above. She is the Nikki Parker, the Mitchitko Malandro, the Sapphire, the Dijonay Jones and she is a problem for grown black women who are still constantly being mocked and harassed for being two decibels louder than a ferret but also young black girls who have to learn that they will always be compared and less favored over their light skinned counterparts. And because this series is called dwb that colorism severely affects the dating world too, a lot of black women do refrain from dating black men due to their trauma surrounding the black dating world but also due to colorism and stereotypes about black men being equally as violent, abusive or basically every dark skinned man from a Tyler Perry movie- then on the left for the fellas there's certainly a lot of reasons why this happens but most of it has to do with misogyny and the fact that black women were seen as breeders during slavery. It’s basically the reason why so many guys are comfortable calling black women “females' ' because our culture can hammer it into our heads that we’re not people. I don’t really know how to conclude this other than saying be kind to each other, please 💀

[panda1sg7y]

DWB ( dating while black ) P1, the disrespect

I think one of the saddest things I’ve learned from DWB is how much and how often black

I think one of the saddest things I’ve learned from dwb and just bein a black girl is how the black community, and more so black men can diminish and demonize the traumatic experiences of black women due to their own misogyny, pedophilia, and homophpbia either joking or encouring said behavior. Like with the R.Kelly, while in terms of crimes he’s most known for pissing on kids he also physically and emotionally abused his wife, organized a sex trafficking ring, distributing child porn, and married a 15 year old illegall - all of his victims were black women and girls and yet the world, espically black men and boys mocked / ignored these traumatic incidents because they were “hoes” or that his music was good so he obviously couldn’t be a sex offender! And if you wanna talk about the way black men are affected the this then let's look at Boosie Badazz, a rapper who openly endorsed the rape of his children because he didn’t want them to be gay something considerably better than a lifetime of trauma. Ofc this statement was met with praise from the community he was targeting because “men can’t be raped” and the stereotypes forced upon black men. I see a lot of blk people complain about mixed or monoracial blk people dating outside of their race largely due to their trauma but never seem to acknowledge that said trauma exists first..funny how life turns out.