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*guy who hasn't eaten lunch voice* been really into the idea of picking a direction and running as fast as I can in a straight line until I collapse and die

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Put your fucking knight on a leash it keeps trying to duel mine

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AHHHHHH OH MY GOD JESUS CHRIST OAHH HHHH FUCK FUCK FUCK ok nevermind. i got over it

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scared. Dont pick up my rock ok im hiding under there

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yeah golden retreiver boyfriends are great and I've met several personally, but personally I have a house cat boyfriend

extremely affectionate despite of seeming aloof and politely distant to unfamiliar people

my friends have seen him irl less than 5 times in the five years I've had him - if I invited people over he would hide under furniture until they're gone

haha you got up from your work desk, time for unskippable 35 minutes of kisses and cuddles

can and will throw up out of sheer anxiety because Things And Events Are Happening that do not even involve him in any way

can instinctively sense exactly when I am going to decide I'm done bedrotting and will climb on top of me to cuddle exactly 3 minutes before I was just about to get up

can be placed sideways on any soft surface at any time of the day and immediately takes a five hour nap

cannot eat or drink in unfamilair places. can and will go 16 hours without food or water if the situation is uncomfy.

unhelpful but valiant efforts to try to protect and rescue you from things and situations that he would personally hate being in, out of not understanding of Why Are You In There Voluntarily

will come show me incomprehensible memes the same way a cat will bring you a random bug. thank you. I do not understand it but I know you brought it to me because you love me.

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Propoganda

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dead

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i’m so tired i need to be held or killed

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Have you ever

No. i dont do shit

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I love Jin Dahaad so much.

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whoever came up with the phraise "eepy" i hate you because its so cringe and embarassing but its the first word that comes to me when im feeling eepy

fuck you

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A scrimblo and her bimbinis,,,

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THE WATCHERR TOMOROWWWWWW

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oh yes it's that time of year again

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We are eating white people food 2nite

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Spin this wheel of ~300 AO3 tags three times.

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