pareidolla

[pareidolla]

i am very happy i am alive and, most importantly, can draw broken

[pareidolla]

This is kind of a two (or three? two and a half??) headcanon but like.

I feel like a lot of people gloss over the fact that Stubborn likes poetry. In the Adversary, you can say this really poetic thing to her, and both Stubborn and Adversary start crying. I love the idea of Stubborn, the strong one that can literally make you refuse to die, also being a softie that likes poems.

Also, I've seen a lot of people give Broken creative hobbies, like drawing, sewing, etc., and I can see him writing poetry but being really shy about it.

I can imagine the scene right now -- Broken, having learned that Stubborn likes poetry, deciding to show him what he's written. After all, the bigger bird isn't one to laugh at people, right?? So Broken reads one of his poems out loud to Stubborn, nearly mumbling and refusing to look at him but still powering through. Once he's done, Stubborn isn't saying anything, so Broken looks up and. He's just sobbing. So hard. Stubborn isn't coherent in the slightest, but Broken, being the empath he is, knows he liked the poem.

AWWWHHHHH sobbing crying in the club [violently reminded that I haven't 100% the game yet I did not know that happened ouugghh] solid hc <33 big big fan of em

[pareidolla]

HALLO PAREI!! I JUST WANNA SAY I LOVE YOUR BOYS THEY'RE SO PRETTY!! BOTH OLD AND NEW DESIGNS!!

also your art style !! Definitely one of my biggest inspirations!!

THANK YOU DEAR ANON!! I LOVE YOU AS WELL!! MWAH

[pareidolla]

yay para ref sheet done ^__^

[pareidolla]

been chewing on my opportunist for awhile and i think he’s coming along really nice! smth smth “the voices in my head can’t this cute”

bonus:

[pareidolla]

okay, i figured i’d knock this out in maybe an hour tops, but then i ended up revisiting certain pieces here and sobbing my eyes out. also, because these are works that i associate with broken, i must warn you that this list contains many sensitive topics, including but not limited to sex, depression, self-harm, and abusive relationships. if you’re not interested in ruining your mood then i’d probably skip most of these recommendations!

otherwise, enjoy this thinly-veiled excuse to be a weeb for several hundred words <3

─── MANGA.

my lesbian experience with loneliness by nagata kabi (+her other autobiographies)

tw: self-harm, depression, suicidal thoughts, binge-eating disorder

recommended for: understanding what kind of depressed thoughts broken might grapple with

my lesbian experience with loneliness is a brutally raw autobiography exploring the author’s severe mental illness, sexuality, and her desire for someone to love and understand her. it’s one of my favorite mangas of all time, and i find myself returning to it on a yearly basis as i grow older and feel no closer to overcoming my depression.

unlike broken, kabi isn't self-pitying or arrogant, instead taking on a clear, matter-of-fact approach to explaining her psychosis. i would highly recommend it to anyone who finds it difficult to understand what broken might think or feel beyond hopelessness and sadness since it’s helped me find the words to describe my own struggles with mental health (i forget the line, "when you reject a piece of me, it feels like you're rejecting all of me," every time and get punched in the gut).

run away with me, girl by battan

tw: domestic abuse, internalized homophobia, sexism, infidelity

recommended for: depiction of an abuse victim grappling with a fawn response

a bit of a looser recommendation than the one before this, but run away with me, girl, especially chapters four and five, emotionally wrecked me in ways i never recovered from. also one of my favorite mangas of all time.

while midori behaves very differently from broken──smiling brightly and laughing off her pain──i pull a lot from her whenever i handle broken’s internal monologue. the way she always describes herself as cold, cold, cold and her desperate longing for someone to hold her. the difference between her and the joyful "others," and she’ll be just like that if she simply shuts up and pleases her beloved more. it’s hard to explain but the manga is so quiet about it’s sensitive content, not having to cheaply rely on mouth pieces to exposition the moral of the story, and it’s such a breath of fresh air.

also, just look at this artwork. monochrome beauty condensed and packaged into three volumes. what more could i possibly say?

madk by suzuki ryo

tw: cannibalism, eroguro, grooming, rape, unhealthy power dynamics

recommended for: fucked up characters and their equally fucked up power dynamics

i’m not someone who gets really thrilled about dark, problematic stuff──it exists, i like it sometimes, sometimes i don't──so it's difficult for me to sell madk. i don’t love everything but the stuff i do like, i really like it.

for my money, i think it's worth checking out since it's a masterwork of art, character design, and world building, and its portrayal of hell and its various demons easily makes it one of my favorite settings ever. it’s also easy enough to skim over the above tags if you're uncomfortable with them. the only time it ever crossed the line into "oh, that sucked to read" territory for me was near the conclusion, with the treatment of one particular character. buuuuut if madk's premise just doesn't appeal to you despite that, here's a great meta you can read instead!

without giving too much away, makoto is an interesting protagonist who goes through a very interesting arc, and it's a lot of joy watching him grow from a miserable little obedient creature to gaining his own power. his hatred for the angelic demon who claimed his soul is only matched by his intense desire to be loved and respected by them, which seems very broken-coded to me. (also, the relationship between kieran and makoto was far more interesting to me than the main relationship, and i draw on its dynamics when writing stubbroken hehe).

─── MUSIC.

if i were a dog — sydney rose.

if i were a dog, i wouldn't talk at all i’d be loved for being silent all i’d know be walls the world wouldn't scare me at all and i’d grow up without the violence

i believe that the emotional gut punches in this song work best unspoiled, so i’m not saying much here, but believe me when i say that it is THE broken song for me. i needed a reason to froth at the mouth after hearing that yesterday, thus leading to this list. broken, you sad little creature, i love you.

runaway, runaway — mars argo.

you are making me uneasy you make me want to scream i wish i was a dumb pop star so the words wouldn't matter to you

understandable, but forever devastated this is not on spotify, so i can add it to my stubbroken playlist (which is mostly just a broken playlist). but, regardless, it brilliantly conveys the feeling of turmoil, of wanting to lash out while also feeling empty and disassociated. to me, broken is more than simply somber melancholy; he’s constantly biting his tongue to keep all of his overwrought emotions from spilling out. he’s so tired, he just wants to escape everything, but can’t find it in himself to runaway. (also i like to substitute pop star with “princess” in my mind. i think he’d love to be a damsel, just swept away by a pretty prince who offers the illusion he’s loved more than treating him as an equal. anyway—)

motion sickness — phoebe bridgers

i hate you for what you did and i miss you like a little kid i faked it every time, but that's alright i can hardly feel anything, i hardly feel anything at all

another entry about an abuse victim but man. motion sickness is my go-to song for getting into the headspace to write for broken. if he was a genre he’d be sad girl indie to me.

motion sickness gently breaks your heart, using changing instrumentals to convey the narrator's turbulent emotions, all while she sings calmer than the sea. it reminds me of razor!broken or the way he relates to the cage, how he can sometimes feel so numb that he can't bring himself to care, despite the fact that he obviously does. oh, my sweetheart </3

note dame — paris paloma

i’m not immune to the sincerity below me, makes me feel it makes me holy but through tears i understand that i do not belong

obligatory religious song! another “these vibes are good” pick. as you can tell i’m not the greatest at discussing music, i know ridiculously little about music theory, but to put my love into words then i really like the song’s weight. it just feels heavy, like the narrator is struggling against an emotion greater than them. i really like broken as an observer, someone whom simply watches regular people pass by, mourning them as they go. i think he’d make for a very gentle and kind god, despite his protests.

hot mess - dodie.

one more reunion (one more) then goodbye again (goodbye again) oh god, i’d be lyin' if i didn't want ten stop draftin' replies to things that haven't been said he’s not dead

capping this off with a dodie song because i’m me. i was torn between this or hate myself but ultimately hot mess spoke to me more. it brings to mind a hopeful post-construct broken who’s managing, day by day, to find the strength to keep living. it’s tough, it’s tiresome, hardly feels worth it some days, but i genuinely think he’s capable of finding happiness and friendship and love. so much love. someone smooch that bird please.

… i was going to include a section for quotes but i’m really eepy so. tomorrow!

would you still love me if i compiled all the media that inspires me/that i pull from while writing broken. be honest

[pareidolla]

would you still love me if i compiled all the media that inspires me/that i pull from while writing broken. be honest

[pareidolla]

grips your shoulders. do you ever think about stubborn’s suicidal nature and how it mirrors broken’s? except, rather than depressed, he’s manic, recklessly disregarding his safety in favor of a vague idea of ‘glory.’ to them, love is self-sacrifice. to love is to give up your body, to bleed and bend and break under the weight of it all. i’m insane

[pareidolla]

Pinecone Blast™

This is the first time I'm drawing all my voices together since... their first redesign back in December 2024. Wow, it's been a while-

Most of these aren't fully finished designs yet - some are still getting some redesigns, most still need their colors figured out, and only three of them have a completed reference. But still! It's nice to have a drawing where I can look at all of my silly pinecones :]

On that note, I realized that I never actually shared my voices' latest designs on Tumblr. So, for lads that don't have official refs yet, I'm fixing that now and putting their current iteration sketches under the cut!

First, Skeptic and Hunted already have their references, you can find them at those links!

And now, go my pinecones! Most of these are quite old, but these four are pretty close to their final designs: Stubborn, Cold, Broken, and Paranoid

Next, the three lads who may or may not go through a bunch of redesign changes: Contrarian, Hero, and Cheated

Then... Opportunist is an enigma, I draw him so much (I wonder why), but I don't really have a drawing that captures his current design. It's something in-between these two concepts I made:

Also yes, the Rat has freckles now 🙂‍↕️

...and finally, Smitten. If you were wondering why I said that "three of [my voices] have a completed reference"-

...coming soon :] (and by soon, it'll probably be closer to @/voice-of-the-sexyman upcoming Smitten tournament in late July)

But until then, have a few sketches of Smitten that I used to figure out his design <3

[pareidolla]

he's the worst man alive he's the love of my life he's covered in blood he's weird about god and he's a lot, he's not perfect, but most importantly he's bisexual

[pareidolla]

okay nesting w/ birds apparently means “preparing for a baby” i thought it just meant. cuddling together in a nest. but my point stands

i think nesting with broken would fix me. i wanna collect a bunch of trinkets and then lay my head on his lap beneath our fortress of blankets. i want him to stroke my hair and call me pretty. i am in genuine tears as i write this

[pareidolla]

i think nesting with broken would fix me. i wanna collect a bunch of trinkets and then lay my head on his lap beneath our fortress of blankets. i want him to stroke my hair and call me pretty. i am in genuine tears as i write this

[pareidolla]

since i’m far too impatient i decided to delete the poll and simply select my favorites from the ties <3 will begin working on the first lineup wave ft hero, duchess, paranoid, smitten, broken, and cheated 🎉

[pareidolla]

my personal two cents on the the whole ‘voice artists are misogynistic for ignoring the princess’ topic:

first, there is an erasure of female characters within fandom. yes, there is a trend of neglecting and villainizing female characters. yes, there is legitimate misogyny in the stp fandom, and there is no denying that.

but to collectively judge artists based on their media output as opposed to their individual opinions on the princess is ridiculous. i shouldn’t have to reach a monthly princessposting quota to signal i’m not a misogynist. i love drawing the princesses privately, and i’ve been working on a princess-only au, but i don't want to share it anymore if the audience for that will just turn around and be rude to my voice design friends. as the one who actually interacts with these artists, i am aware that they adore the princess but merely prefer the voice fandom subculture. just because someone likes pancakes doesn’t mean they hate waffles.

(and people who whine about the ‘voice yaoi fan girls’ taking over should realize it’s much more misogynistic being mean to actual, real life women as opposed to fictional ones. they have the same rights as you to be in this fandom, so if you don't like what they have to say, block them and their tags to better curate your space.)

second, if you complain about there not being enough princess content but don't praise our talented princess artists, commission them, post fanart yourself, post fan fiction, analysis, polls, create tournaments and trends like sprite redraws or open collabs——you know, anything that benefits the fandom ecosystem——you are also contributing to the problem. i understand if an artist who drew the princess was upset about being passed up in favor of voice content, but as of now, i’ve only seen passive consumers complain about it. what right do you have to demand that we draw whatever appeals to you when you yourself aren’t a creative?

there is space for princess content! people love princess content! join our fandom and have fun with us!!!! aaaaaaaa!!

[pareidolla]

can’t believe i spent no less than 3 combined hours sifting through different jpn names for stubborn when shikabane (corspe) is literally right there. chat this is why i shouldn’t write anything i’m schtupid

[pareidolla]

It's a little simpler than the others, but I had some fun with it

How many of you read below the cut?

@voice-of-the-sexyman

[Vote here]

Owl- @sorry-not-feeling-it-right-now

Pine Tree- @everestgale

I was originally rooting for Racoon but I don't think they're making a comeback ;-;

To be fair tho, Archivist and Crow are exactly what I'd think skeptic would look like

Pine tree and Ghost are sending me through the stages of grief with how much they keep alternating with their competition.

[pareidolla]

I kept imagining Smitten and Broken hanging out together and entering a cartoonishly girly walk-in closet and Smitten pulling Broken in excitedly amd then they start doing a fashion montage and there's this giant pink vanity with lightbulbs on it at the end of the room and Smitten sees what he looks like for the first time and. I may have gotten carried away lol

The vision (screenshot from Gravity Falls) (episode four I think?)

Also various doodles of said montage

Plus the mockup I drew for the mirror scene because I was really excited about it haha