parker-braxton - Tumblr blog

[parker-braxton]

I hear you on that, I don't think I've gone swimming once this summer.

All I need is to break out the bikini.

[parker-braxton]

Feel like summer now?

I come back, and it’s actually sunny. Thank you, Seattle.

[parker-braxton]

Parker's Childhood Home in Ruston, Washington

Age 3: A lifelong friendship was made when Parker's parents brought home a beagle. That day he laughed while chasing his new best friend around until the sun set and it was hard for him to breathe. For once he fell sound asleep.

Age 7: A boy named Jacob moved in next door and came over to introduce himself. The two ended up playing hide and seek for hours. After a few turns of not being found, Parker declared the tree next to his house the ultimate hiding spot. He loved the spot so much he convinced his dad to help him build a tree house there. Even though he couldn't hide there as easily anymore the nights he spent up there reading scary stories with Jacob made it all worth it.

Age 8: Once when Jacob and Parker were chasing each other around the house Parker bumped into a wine glass and it spilled on the carpet. The carpet was permanently stained and his mother was infuriated. For her birthday that year Parker decided to pour milk on the stain hoping that it would turn the carpet back to its white color. It didn't but Parker's mom got a good laugh and told him that his effort was worth more than any birthday present he could buy.

Age 13: Parker's parents went out with a few friends and Parker decided to have a lay back with some friends. The alcohol cabinet wasn't locked, due to the trustful relationship he had with his parents, so he took a bottle vodka and a few cans of beer to pass around with his friends. It wasn't long until he was piss drunk and his parents came home. He shooed his friends home and sprinted upstairs to his room. It didn't take long for his parents to realize what had happened after they saw throw-up on the stairs and few crushed beer cans on the front porch.

Age 16: The girl he'd been trying to impress in his drama class finally agreed to go out with him. The two went to a diner in the small town before making it back to Parker's place. Since he hadn't gotten a car she was driving them. She was just supposed to drop him off, but a peck on the cheek at the front door turned into a kiss on the lips, which turned into a make out session in his bedroom (located at the top right of the house).

Age 17: He said goodbye to the countless memories and all the permanent stains before moving to Hollywood. Getting out of Ruston, Washington was in his best interest and he couldn't have been more excited to leave, but it wasn't until he'd explored other parts of the world that he grew to miss home.

[parker-braxton]

I don't recall that you have.

Most people think it but are too stubborn to say it. They refuse to think that I'm smarter than I look.

Have I ever told you how clever you are?

[parker-braxton]

Kinky, not sure if I'm into that though.

That’s a little more accurate, I guess.

Hand cuffs for starters.

[parker-braxton]

You're right, you're only a semi-good person. I don't really admire being called a prison bitch but what's in it for me?

I’m a steal vault, but I admire your persistence. I feel like you’re joking.

You gonna be my prison bitch, Parker?

[parker-braxton]

I think my friends would beg to differ.  So you've never heard of hospitality then? You can act however you want to act, I could care less what choices you make.

Sure you were. The name's Parker by the way, yourself?

And being a prick with a stick up your ass wont get you any friends either, buddy. Although yours seems to be quite comfortable in there so I wont judge. [shrugs] Oh, sorry, I wasn’t aware there was a rule for meeting people. Should we act like stiff little robots, too? 

I’m not hinting at anything. I’m just saying what comes to mind. 

[parker-braxton]

Very true, but being a bitch doesn't really earn you any brownie points either.

Usually people try to be friends after becoming acquaintances. Unless this is some kind of little kid shit, where you're rude to the person you like. In that case what exactly are you hinting at?

You say interesting like it’s a bad thing. I personally think normal equals boring. And anyways, who said anything about friends? 

[parker-braxton]

Don't hate me cause you ain't me. Damn throwing shade, what's that supposed to mean?

You’re such a little shit, I hope you know that.

Not surprising, from the moment I met you I knew you were going to be a heartbreaker, I have no one to blame but myself for being so naive. 

[parker-braxton]

You call people pathetic as a compliment?  You have an interesting way of making friends.

[sighs] No, actually, my first impressions tend to go downhill faster than this one. It was supposed to be a compliment, by the way, don’t get your panties up in a bunch. 

[parker-braxton]

At least you can taste summer when you get a Slurpee.

It doesn’t really feel like summer without the sun. 

[parker-braxton]

I'm kind of a mastermind when it comes to body language, I practically study it for a living considering I'm an actor. If you didn't notice then I guess I'm going to have to step up my cologne game for future scenarios.

Oh? How are you so sure about that?

'Fraid I didn't catch onto that man musk of yours. Too intoxicated to notice and my senses were occupied elsewhere. 

[parker-braxton]

Whatever, you know you love my chest.

I meant I use old spice as a deodorant. But if we're talking cologne I prefer Armani, not sure if you caught onto it when we were "up close and personal"

Don’t bullshit me. I’ve seen that "immaculate" chest of yours up close and personal.

I prefer my men in Dior Homme or Gucci.

[parker-braxton]

Wow. Do you leave these great first impressions with everyone or am I just lucky?

Yeah, that’s about right. The look…it suits you. 

[parker-braxton]

Please do what? Feel pathetic?

By all means, please do. 

[parker-braxton]

In the end I don't really care, either you're right and as a male I have superiority, or I'm right and I get bragging rights.

You're not the first, I tend to have that effect on woman.

What do you mean that hasn’t happened for years?! That’s still happening! That’s a thing! And studies have shown that if a male and female submit the exact same resumé as in same qualifications, scores, referrals, etc, the person in charge of hiring will pick the resumé with the masculine sounding name!

I believe I’ve just made my counterargument, so I raise your random boners with career inequality and workplace discrimination. Now that’s just cruel, you’d break our partnerships just like that? I’m heartbroken, Parker, I really am.

[parker-braxton]

I don't know I have a pretty immaculate chest for a white boy. Axe is disgusting, real men use Old Spice.

Maybe if you were black and had the same chest as him. I hope you’re not wearing old spice or axe, you’ll send girls running the opposite way.