part-time-zombie

[part-time-zombie]

I went to the small pizzeria in a nearby village last month and asked for a calzone, and when she brought it to me the owner had a look on her face I can only describe as bitter.

Naturally my first assumption was that she was judging me for my food order (maybe calzones are too easy compared to other pizzas and she felt under-challenged as a pizza chef?), but then I looked at my calzone and the more I looked at it, the more I felt like it might have been a failed attempt at a cat calzone.

(I didn't ask for a cat calzone, just a calzone.)

If I had immediately identified it as a cat calzone I would have of course said something about it, such as "Aww that's so cute! You made it in the shape of a cat!! Thank you!" — but it was too late. I hesitated too long, and it was just failed enough that I wasn't sure it was meant to be a cat.

I think this poor woman knew her cat calzone was a failure and I wouldn't be able to recognise her effort for what it was, hence the bitterness in her eyes when she brought it to me.

I asked my friend if my pizza looked like a cat to her, and she said "Are you saying this because of the olives? I think they were just placed randomly."

no, I think they were meant to be eyes, and a cat nose. And those are the ears. Wait, I'll turn it in your direction so you can see

Friend: "It's just a pointy calzone... Maybe you should ask the chef if she meant to make it a cat?"

If I tried to make a cat calzone and the recipient of this gift went like 'hey, sorry, is this weird-looking thing meant to be cat?' I would sell my pizza restaurant and drown myself in the river.

After considering this, my friend said we could brainstorm a better phrasing—but then we ended up agreeing that since the chef didn't go 'haha sorry I tried to make a cat and failed!!' when she brought my pizza, the options were a) she didn't try to make a cat; b) she feels humiliated by her failure, and either way it's better to say nothing.

But I felt deeply curious about this unresolved mystery, so this week when I went back to the pizzeria I asked for a calzone again.

The options were now: a) the chef brings me a better, recognisable cat calzone and I immediately remark upon it and she's happy and we erase the failed cat calzone from the historical record and never mention it ever;

or b) the chef brings me a normal calzone, which suggests that the vague cat shape from last time was accidental and just another instance of chronic cat pareidolia.

(I refused to consider option c) The chef brings me another failed, hardly-recognisable cat. She just doesn't seem like the kind of person who would let that happen to her twice.)

Here's the photo of the failed cat calzone from last time, which, according to my friend, just looks like a pointy calzone with randomly-placed olives and not a deliberate attempt to make a cat:

And here's what the chef brought me this time:

THAT'S A CAT.

I knew it!!!!

And it looks so sad!! This cat calzone looks like it will burst into olive oil tears if you once again fail to identify it as the cat that it is

But I didn't; I was so ready this time. I went "A cat!!!!! It's so cute!" and the chef went like yes!!! I tried to make one last time but it looked weird :(

I said I was pretty sure it was a cat last time and apologised for not bringing it up and she said no, it's my responsibility to make it a decent cat. She also said she was glad I'd come back and ordered another calzone because she was really bothered ("vraiment embêtée") by that first failed attempt, and wondering if I'd noticed an attempt was made (and failed)

That's so relatable. It's like when you make a really embarrassing spelling mistake in a text and you're not sure if the other person has seen it and is judging you for it. Should you bring it up? Can it go unnoticed if you don't? It's the cat calzone equivalent of that. I'm so glad we were able to clear the air.

[part-time-zombie]

making a collection

[part-time-zombie]

Oh my god

I just realized that when the orange side is officially revealed and/or joins the group, there will inevitably be new ships and ship dynamics involving him with the other sides.

Adding him to the current lineup would result in 7 sides, instead of the 6 we have now.

Imagine then, orange is a regularly occurring character, and gets paired with one of the other sides. Other ships gain/lose popularity as things develop, when the metaphorical dust settles we see that everyone is commonly fanonized as "in a relationship" with another side except for Roman, who's left alone again.

[part-time-zombie]

My hobbies include reading, writing and doing neither of those things

[part-time-zombie]

[part-time-zombie]

Watching TikTok try and rewrite fandom history by saying fandom culture was created by teenage girls makes me eye twitch to an extent I’ve never felt it twitch before. The middle aged women printing out Spirk erotica to share with each other in the 1900s did not die for this!!!! How dare you erase our important historic moments!!! You would be nowhere without the 30 year old women who dedicated their free time to making these spaces happen. Put some respect on their names!!!!

[part-time-zombie]

it's a weird emotion when somebody goes "doesn't this just shake you to your core and rewrite your dna and change who you are as a person" and your honest experience of it was that it was ok

[part-time-zombie]

[part-time-zombie]

[part-time-zombie]

its crazy how teeth problems can fucking kill you and not only are dental services not free they cost a ludicrous amount and require an entirely different type of insurance than the rest of ur body. aside from the eyes, of course, which need a third type of insurance. What are we even doing man

[part-time-zombie]

Happy No Kings Day to the Americans!

Hope it becomes a national holiday to remind yourself not only why you don’t have monarchs but also why the monarchies in Europe work hard to represent and please their countries because they know they’re on borrowed time and we’ll fucking shank them if they start acting up again.

[part-time-zombie]

I'm not totally sure how historians will explain that America ruined its own economy for no good reason by electing the "let me ruin the economy" man

I hope to live long enough to find out.

[part-time-zombie]

"There was no autism diagnosed before 1930."

"Pluto wasn't discovered until 1930, but I'm pretty sure it was there the whole fucking time"

[part-time-zombie]

Even if you’re too shy to fully wear historical clothing out in the real world you can still utilize the magic of big pins. We as a society don’t use big pins nearly as much as we should anymore

[part-time-zombie]

ppl who celebrate fictional character birthdays are annoying pass it on

[part-time-zombie]

Alright, I know I come off as a Patton hater sometimes, so to prove to the very angry masses that I do in fact love our favorite catholic father figure, here's my analysis of how Janus used him during SVS and POF until he inevitably broke because I never said I don't love angst

1. Janus has targeted Patton from his introduction as the person he can easily confuse and use to get to the main group. He tries to impersonate Pat but when that fails he goes for Pattons confusing moral code and self doubting tendencies.

2. I think Jan's choice to impersonate Logan is very intentional. He fails miserably the first time (which I'll talk about that in a sec), but does it flawlessly the second time. Logan, despite being the person Patton disagrees with most often, is someone Patton trusts a ton. Patton goes to him for advice a lot, and even tries to impress and imitate him sometimes. If Janus can successfully pull off pretending to be Logan, he has the advantage, because Patton blindly trusts everything Logan says.

3. When Janus does fail to impersonate Logan the first time, he immediately pivots to appealing to Thomas's, or Pattons, moral code. And it works for him, because Patton has a very low standard for trust, he accepts people easily and sees the best in people, and Janus exploits that. Logan calls Patton/Thomas out on this, that the bar for trust is way too low. If Janus can prove he's "a good person" Pattons willing to trust and listen to him.

4. Pattons moral code that defines so much of the series, what's right and wrong, who's a dark side or light side, is a confusing mess. The fact that he's just generally a trusting person, cathloic guilt, everyone wanting him to change in different directions. He doesn't even know what his own moral code is. POF proves not only that Patton is running more off instinct and less off some long set moral spectrum, but that he doesn't know what he's doing or how to explain it. In his mind, it's good and bad, maybe a in between, and Thomas just needs to do good with no further questions because deep down Patton doesn't really have answers. Janus uses this against him throughout POF, leading him on loops and moral dilemmas with no set solutions. He makes Patton feel like he has to come up with an answer, something to give Roman and Thomas, when things like the trolley problem aren't meant to have a answer.

5. I've been told on Reddit his name is LilyPadton so that's what I'm gonna call him. Anyways, all of this ends with Patton cracking and having a breakdown: aka becoming LilyPadton, or frog Patton. It's honestly sad when you look at it through Pattons point of view. He's realizing he doesn't know his own moral code, he's being questioned and blamed but also not blamed by three people he cares about and trusts, one of which has been acting rude and has been dragging him into endless loops all night. He's been hit in the face not long before, he's being yelled at, he's clearly overwhelmed and no one will listen to him or calm down. Yet again, I think this is intentional on Janus's part. When he's leaving the frame still as 8-bit Logan, he has a smirk on his face and he looks directly at the camera(mind you Patton is pulling at his hair and screaming at the other two as Janus is leaving).

I'm not sure what Janus's motive is, I don't think anyone but the team knows, but he's using Patton as an emotionally unstable and easily manipulated pawn. It almost parallels the moment in WTIT when Logan snaps. I think both Janus and Remus are trying to isolate and break the two by making Logans abandonment feel so much worse, and by making Patton feel like everyone is questioning him. Janus is also playing Roman by love bombing him and breaking down what little self esteem Roman has.

Idk I don't think Janus is a villian, but definitely the antagonist.