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🫵 STOP! you are doomscrolling. tell me your favorite animal instead

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when exactly is uptown funk gon give it to me?

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The curtains were blue because everything in the room was carefully colour coordinated, reinforcing the character’s stylish and controlled characterisation. The curtains were blue because everything in the room was a different colour, reinforcing the character’s eclectic and globe-trotting personality. The curtains were blue because the character is elsewhere established to hate the colour blue, subtextually implying that their deceased spouse was responsible for that decoration choice.

The curtains were blue because throughout their filmography the director consistently uses cool tones to mark moments of distance between characters. The curtains were blue to tie the events in that room into the broader oceanic motif of this particular novel. The curtains were blue because the assonance evoked a contrast with the following stanza of the poem.

Even the curtains looked expensive: floor to ceiling velvet drapes, in a flawless royal blue. She tucked the saucer up on the windowsill and tied back faded blue curtains with a loop of string. The narrow blinds were the same navy blue as the pinstripe suit of the man who served eviction notice that sent them to this office.

The curtains were blue because the author’s childhood home had blue curtains, which they discussed in their letters related to their feelings of comfort in that place. The curtains were blue because the author’s childhood home had blue curtains, which they discussed in their letters related to their feelings of grief in that place.

The curtains were blue as an allusion to the contemporary joke about literary criticism, an extension of the author’s autocritical approach that will be further discussed in section seven.

The curtains were red, as a pun on;

The curtains were read.

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I’d enjoy some four person “tennis” in “Antarctica”, if you’ll pardon the doubles on tundra

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the most tortured man alive wants to know if you want to go get a 7$ boba tea

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Hey, if you never hear from me again it is because I got lost getting to/from my hotel room and am now trapped

I’m honestly not sure I captured all the twists and turns

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you will not guess where this ao3 summary is going

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Hello Paige, apologies for the deception but I wanted to make sure you started reading...

👁👁

Honored to open this

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ohhhh audio dramas i love u audio dramas im thinking about podcasts this morning in a big way

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Quick! Tumblr! Tell me a horror podcast I should listen to right now (please)!

(In return, y'all should listen to 'Ain't Slayed Nobody'. Just saying.)

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I hate the gymbro side of the internet because a lot of it is extremely toxic but I once saw a gymbro meme that was like “befriending the local trans guy so I can steal his testosterone” and I think that’s hilarious and a great plot idea for a movie. Deeply unhappy bigoted red pill meathead gym rat starts trying to befriend a trans man to steal his testosterone and ends up genuinely clicking with him and going on a journey of self discovery that either ends in the protag realizing he’s gay and in love with his friend or transitioning to a woman.

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cutely emits a single ping

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depictions of death as merciful and benevolent and kind move me to tears without fail

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imagine going to a house party and ask to go to the bathroom and like theres a dark souls silver knight guarding a chest in there. and like you ask him to not look but he doesn’t respond at all. He’s not like agro, or staring at you with intent, but he’s FULLY aware of your presence and watching you like you intend to steal