patchworkman

[patchworkman]

Martyrs (2008), dir. Pascal Laugier

[patchworkman]

this is not exactly the post i’ve been meaning to write about dimi’s hypersexuality but it’s certainly a starter exploration of it, if nothing else.

there’s two components of his experience with it: — a high libido compared to your average citizen — a compulsive pursuit of sexual encounters

he does ... have a need to get off on a really regular basis. a very high sex drive. which feeds into the latter thing - the repeated pursuit of people he can sleep with. when it comes down to it, if dimi’s needs aren’t being met, he’ll sleep with another version of himself (unless it’s part of a scene, masturbation doesn’t ‘count’ for him, it’s just not enough), but the real meat of the issue is in pursuing others. he uses sex as a means of improving his mood, as something to do when he’s bored, as something he needs to do, etc etc. he can come up with an excuse for any of it, but he’ll claim it ultimately comes down to “i wanted to”

dimi’s . god complex plays into this, to an extent. he sees himself as above and better than (almost) everyone and ... “can i sleep with this person (to meet my needs)?” is more important than whether or not he actually wants to sleep with that particular person. dimi’s idea of attraction is very abstract anyway, but there’s really only a couple of people he’s ever felt genuine attraction to. it’s very much a game, after a point. a compulsive game, for sure, and one he has to play — like it’s a challenge

within certain boundaries, he will also not turn down anyone who expresses interest. there are certain moral qualms dimitri has (standard things, like, i shouldn’t have to say ‘dimi won’t sleep with someone who’s underage or intoxicated’ but rpc can be so nasty that i feel like i have to clarify: dimi isn’t a nasty evil motherfucker), and he needs enthusiastic consent (despite the fact he’s frequently bored during sex himself), but - overall he very rarely says no

he can’t say no. like he can’t pass up the chance to pursue someone who might be interested. it’s entirely compulsive to him; in a recent discord thread i have, dimi made reference to seeing if he could get his lawyer to sleep with him — and now that dimi’s had that thought, he has to follow it up and try to sleep w his lawyer, to see if he can follow through?

so . he’s definitely had encounters with a lot of people that he’s not actually attracted to or even actively finds unattractive, and even though they haven’t been satisfying encounters they’ve still counted for him

he’s 300 years old and never had anyone criticise or try to correct his behaviour, so it’s completely ingrained as normal for him, which makes things ... more difficult. he has never known any different way of doing things and no one has ever stopped him and said “hey this isn’t healthy”, so he’s never considered it as anything other than the way he’s wired - in spite of the fact he most certainly gets fractious and antsy if he’s not able to have Enough sex

he rarely has safe sex. part of his compulsion pushes that down as something that’s not important. it’s more important to have sex than to be not-risky about it.

tl;dr it’s a compulsion that dimitri doesn’t even realise he’s struggling with

[patchworkman]

[patchworkman]

she’s funny. you should keep her.

[patchworkman]

Dramatic size differences in ships

Reblog if u agree

[patchworkman]

Egon Schiele The Embrace (detail), 1917 / Painting

[patchworkman]

stupid. awful. terrible. cursed

[patchworkman]

this is a placeholder reminder for me to write out a useful, concrete post on dimitri’s hypersexuality + how he deals with it (badly) tomorrow.

[patchworkman]

not only do i not follow the law, but i have the law blocked and i am reporting it to staff

[patchworkman]

there’s a shuddery,  satisfied laugh that filters out of his mouth,  feeling seeing hearing arrow come.  it’s so good,  it’s,  rewarding,  it’s everything  —  the laugh’s not a mean sound,  as if he would dare.  it’s something exultant instead,  breaking through the anger-shame-need of it all,  just for now.  not as if he doesn’t crave the ugly shape of it,  but the moments of relief are tangible.  even in here.  he turns his head and scrapes teeth keenly on its jaw before going over that with his tongue,  his lips  —  he wants to bury himself in it and live in it,  in its perfectly inhuman spaces that break him down so evenly.  push his hips up flush and just stay.  but he doesn’t stop.  at what point did arrow say he could stop?  ( less singleminded determination,  in him,  though,  just a little space to catch his always-ragged breath. ) 

dimi.

Keep reading

Keep reading

[patchworkman]

[patchworkman]

[patchworkman]

literally impossible to kill (professionally diagnosed)

[patchworkman]

getting less than a full episode’s worth of meklund in altcarbon is the most depressing thing thats ever happened to me to be honest. they really did that to me. they really cut off the head of the best dimitri in the series and then made me stare at ma/tt bie/del’s horrible dimitri for like 3 episodes.

[patchworkman]

“You know, one time. I was gonna wear bow ties. Then I decided to be the guy who just killed all your friends.”

[patchworkman]

dimi has no idea about his childhood or who he was born as or what family he was born into if any at all and where that can be a source of sadness for dimi it’s ... one of his biggest sources of strength honestly ... everything he is, he made himself, he wasn’t born he made himself out of empty hungry air and every neurone and synapse is him him him

he has no history to shape him. any culture he chooses to steep himself in can be his own because he is already his own beast. his own god. there’s very, very little that’s better than transcendence, and dimi truly believes he is above it all

[patchworkman]