pawacelsus

[pawacelsus]

Chat have I missed the wlweek that was being planned.

[pawacelsus]

hero origin pack coming out is gonna make me pick up the game and play an absolutely unhealthy amount.

[pawacelsus]

Transcript: "We will find all manner of great and terrible things in this watery tomb…"

Please do not spoil who the character or voice actor is in the replies or reblogs. Thank you

[pawacelsus]

playing nightreign has been a great experience, especially because i can't stop looking at this mother fucker and going "oh my god it's audrey "graverobber" darkest dungeon."

[pawacelsus]

Darkest Dungeon WLWeek 2025 Announcement (16/06-30/06)

Greetings Darkest Dungeon fanfic writers, artist and creative minds,

Ever wanted to see some girls kissing when fighting eldritch horrors?

No? Just me?

Still, allow me to invite you creators to Fortnite fortnight of lovely sapphics, let me extend a warm welcome for everyone to participate in the first Darkest Dungeon yuri/sapphics challenge:

Darkest Dungeon WLWeek!

Starting from 16th of June to 30th of June EST (for those in the souther hemisphere like me, you’re welcome to start on your 16th or 17th), feel free to follow these prompts and use the hashtag: #DDWLWeek2025 or #DDWLWeek to share your creations!

Let’s celebrate the lovely female heroes (and villains) of this brilliant game!

Hope to see all your lovely contributions!

If you have any questions or wanna inquire more, feel free to ask me via my askbox or contact me in the reymas discord! (Because I don’t give my discord out to people I don’t know, no I will not buy your girl scout cookies)

[pawacelsus]

fire itself is not evil. it can't choose what it devours.

happy 2nd birthday darkest dungeon 2!

[pawacelsus]

For those of you unaware, don't forget to open up dd2 today if you haven't already! you gotta get that loop year achievement :^)

[pawacelsus]

From Darkest Dungeon 2 year anniversary post redhook mentioned hero origin skins!!! I am so excited for it!!!

[pawacelsus]

I have thought quite a bit about Audrey’s views on death, but I haven’t really… gone in depth about it. I think she straddles a fine line of being overly accepting of the end, and deathly (hah) terrified of what comes after—but where does this fear come from? Or this acceptance?

I personally feel like it comes, in equal parts, from her deep knowledge of the depravity of humans. She herself committed such a despair act, a complete disregard for the dead, and I believe Audrey holds herself in such high regard that in her mind, “if somebody like myself is willing to perform and capable of these acts, then what of these lesser men?” If a wealthy, powerful noblewoman is willing to defile the dead for money, what would the starving, desperate commoners do?

But then, why do I write her with such callous disregard for her life? Why do I portray her as being equal parts neurotic and careless? I think, in that hypocrisy, lies the key to her character—a desperate craving for control.

Knowing that she is a younger sibling based on a dialogue line wherein she mentions her older sisters hand-me-downs, and being able to surmise she had an arranged marriage, I believe that much of Audrey’s life was out of her control. She lived for the whims of others, and rarely were her desires considered in any meaningful way. She’s abused and mistreated by her husband, and when she does finally snap and decide to take control of her life, what does she do?

She kill’s her husband and robs his grave, an utterly depraved act only further driven by the fact she adores the thrill that comes with, so much so she abandons her life as a wealthy noble. Looking at barks back in DD1, we can assume she ends up being caught: “‘a bird in the hand,’ the judge said. Sigh.” She continued on this path of crime until she got caught, all for the adrenaline thrill.

Knowing that she lived her life surrounded by nobles and otherwise isolated, why wouldn’t Audrey surmise that all other people would be just as cruel as her? She doesn’t view any graves as sacred—so why wouldn’t hers be? She’s certainly not stupid, she’s certainly well aware of her hypocrisy, and that certainly scares her. Considering the fact her company surely doesn’t do much to change her views on humanity, it’s no wonder she’s so cold to the world at large. In my eyes, Audrey believes everybody is just as cruel as she is.

To return to my initial point, knowing that Audrey is cold to the world and believes it to be as cruel as she is, I think Audrey’s overt acceptance of death comes from a desire to control her life. She has been once again put into a situation where she has no control: the world is ending, she’s on a roadtrip to hell, and there’s no bailing unless she dies. If she embraces her death with gallows humor and risky acts, then when she does fall, she can die believing it was her choice. I believe she idolizes suicide as a romantic end because it’s a choice, and Audrey romanticizes the very concept of free will.

But she’s terrified of death and what comes after because, again, she knows how depraved humanity can be. After all, she herself gives the dead no sympathy unless they pay her for it. She doesn’t believe there’s a goodness in the world where somebody will treat her corpse with kindness. And barring all that, I just cannot imagine that Audrey wants to die. Death is scary! Audrey hardly faces the unknown with a brave face. She’s no coward, but she’s certainly no Baldwin or Reynauld.

I love Audrey. She’s such a beautiful contradiction. She lies and schemes and steals and I think all of that boils down to a desire for control, and to prove to herself that she is in control of her life. She’s not a good person, though, and don’t take this as me trying to claim she is; I love her for her amorality so much. I want Audrey to be vile! But I love to understand why she may be this way. No justification here. I want her to be worse.

[pawacelsus]

I have thought quite a bit about Audrey’s views on death, but I haven’t really… gone in depth about it. I think she straddles a fine line of being overly accepting of the end, and deathly (hah) terrified of what comes after—but where does this fear come from? Or this acceptance?

I personally feel like it comes, in equal parts, from her deep knowledge of the depravity of humans. She herself committed such a despair act, a complete disregard for the dead, and I believe Audrey holds herself in such high regard that in her mind, “if somebody like myself is willing to perform and capable of these acts, then what of these lesser men?” If a wealthy, powerful noblewoman is willing to defile the dead for money, what would the starving, desperate commoners do?

But then, why do I write her with such callous disregard for her life? Why do I portray her as being equal parts neurotic and careless? I think, in that hypocrisy, lies the key to her character—a desperate craving for control.

Knowing that she is a younger sibling based on a dialogue line wherein she mentions her older sisters hand-me-downs, and being able to surmise she had an arranged marriage, I believe that much of Audrey’s life was out of her control. She lived for the whims of others, and rarely were her desires considered in any meaningful way. She’s abused and mistreated by her husband, and when she does finally snap and decide to take control of her life, what does she do?

She kill’s her husband and robs his grave, an utterly depraved act only further driven by the fact she adores the thrill that comes with, so much so she abandons her life as a wealthy noble. Looking at barks back in DD1, we can assume she ends up being caught: “‘a bird in the hand,’ the judge said. Sigh.” She continued on this path of crime until she got caught, all for the adrenaline thrill.

Knowing that she lived her life surrounded by nobles and otherwise isolated, why wouldn’t Audrey surmise that all other people would be just as cruel as her? She doesn’t view any graves as sacred—so why wouldn’t hers be? She’s certainly not stupid, she’s certainly well aware of her hypocrisy, and that certainly scares her. Considering the fact her company surely doesn’t do much to change her views on humanity, it’s no wonder she’s so cold to the world at large. In my eyes, Audrey believes everybody is just as cruel as she is.

To return to my initial point, knowing that Audrey is cold to the world and believes it to be as cruel as she is, I think Audrey’s overt acceptance of death comes from a desire to control her life. She has been once again put into a situation where she has no control: the world is ending, she’s on a roadtrip to hell, and there’s no bailing unless she dies. If she embraces her death with gallows humor and risky acts, then when she does fall, she can die believing it was her choice. I believe she idolizes suicide as a romantic end because it’s a choice, and Audrey romanticizes the very concept of free will.

But she’s terrified of death and what comes after because, again, she knows how depraved humanity can be. After all, she herself gives the dead no sympathy unless they pay her for it. She doesn’t believe there’s a goodness in the world where somebody will treat her corpse with kindness. And barring all that, I just cannot imagine that Audrey wants to die. Death is scary! Audrey hardly faces the unknown with a brave face. She’s no coward, but she’s certainly no Baldwin or Reynauld.

I love Audrey. She’s such a beautiful contradiction. She lies and schemes and steals and I think all of that boils down to a desire for control, and to prove to herself that she is in control of her life. She’s not a good person, though, and don’t take this as me trying to claim she is; I love her for her amorality so much. I want Audrey to be vile! But I love to understand why she may be this way. No justification here. I want her to be worse.

[pawacelsus]

Forgot I posted this I’m ngl, gotta hold myself responsible and finish it LOL

Cooking up a new text post. New Audrey analysis. Idk idk idk I miss her.

[pawacelsus]

Cooking up a new text post. New Audrey analysis. Idk idk idk I miss her.

[pawacelsus]

Got some of my shit from the dd fanzine (from years ago lol) plus a couple other things I’ve collected. Finally in a place where I feel comfortable decorating, even if I’ll be moving in a couple years. Gotta stop being scared of having to take this stuff down

[pawacelsus]

I think part of why I like my version of plaguerobber comes from how I personally interpret them, which has really changed as I’ve gotten older. I see Audrey as somebody with a huge ego but minuscule self esteem—she’s spent so long living how other people demand of her that she’s frantic to maintain her freedom. She refuses to ever settle down, she loves playing games, all because it’s freeing to her; but, this comes with a massive issue with vulnerability and commitment. She’s not trying to be cruel, but she values her own personal comfort above most else. She fights because she’s taking her fate into her own hands, rather than letting somebody else decide.

Meanwhile, Paracelsus is a lot more reserved and muted. She sees the world in a rigid form that she can understand. Granted, just because it makes sense to her doesn’t mean that it’s proper to everybody else. She views fundamentals differently—life and death are not so black and white, but the way she understands it follows a relatively simple flowchart for her. She’s then expects people to act that same way. She says something inflammatory -> people react in offense -> people argue -> she gets her enjoyment. What she is passionate about isn’t love and romance, it’s science and the human body. In the throes of battle, she’ll cry and cheer and proclaim her love and possessiveness, but unless she’s already excited, it’s hard to tell she even cares about you; and, worst of all, she’s a control freak. Due to experiencing the world in a specific way, she expects others to conform. She wants a partner to act exactly how she expects them to, and gets agitated when they don’t.

They are inherently incompatible, but I think that incompatibility is what draws them to each other. They are faced with their ideological opposite, and they can’t help but be intrigued, enthralled, inexplicably compelled. Audrey flits around with whoever can tolerate her, and Paracelsus remains engrossed with her studies, but at the end of the day they always find themselves at each other’s side even if they shouldn’t work. I want them to feel equally curious with the other, an enigma they cannot solve no matter how long they’ve been together. The physical side of their relationship, they’ve mastered—but not the emotional.

And to be clear, their relationship is not all cold. There are times where they mesh, and they realize they’re meant to be; times where Paracelsus will dance with Audrey, and times where Audrey will indulge Paracelsus’ morbid curiosity, but those times are fleeting. Most of the time they simply… get along. Or they fight. Or they don’t see each other at all. It’s those fleeting moments, however, that draw them back each time, that leave them wanting more, that leave them doing this even though they are sure they shouldn’t. They’re rarely *right* for each other, but they long for those moments so much they’ll tolerate the bad times for those. Their sweet moments are so achingly perfect that it’s worth all the incompatibility in the world.

Y’know???

[pawacelsus]

It’s been one of those weeks… pass the plaguerobber brainworms!

[pawacelsus]

To me, audrey and paracelsus are neither toxic nor healthy. Their dynamic is simply too intense for it to be distilled into one word. They are just so. So Much. I think it’s two very broken people who are broken in very different ways trying to navigate two totally different versions of being in love. You have one who refuses to ever be tied down again and one who demands the world operate how she believes it should. They are inherently incompatible and yet they force it to work anyways. They do love each other, but it’s like… you have a puzzle and you’re missing a piece, but instead of finding it you go out and buy a whole new puzzle and toss out every piece but the one you need, and it’s not a perfect fit, but it’s good enough. “You complete me, but not well. You fix me. You make me feel good. But we are not a perfect fit. It hurts. But I need you to feel whole.” They fuck and fight and get together and break up and swear off the drama and keep it simple and see other people but at the end of the day, one always wanders into the other’s bed, and it’s the best sleep yet.