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pen-observing · 2 months ago

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Opening up the pages of the newest fantasy novel had you wishing for a more exciting life. Perhaps you should have been careful because the glowing light made sure to give you what you asked for. Underneath one sky, they all love you. As time passes, you will have to make a choice. Remember, choices are only for the brave and love must find you before you search for it. Out of the thirteen paths, just which one will you choose?

CHAPTER FIVE OF SEVEN. characters: childe x gn! reader word count: 2.4k warnings: there are mentions of blood and reader seeking revenge but nothing graphic, these chapters are vaguely connected but you can still understand them completely separately, the rest of the fic is in regular font.

[SERIES MASTERLIST]

CHILDE - SOME PEOPLE MOVE LIKE SUNLIGHT. IS IT SO HORRID THAT YOU WISH TO CATCH UP TO HIM? HE SPENT SO MUCH TIME PROTECTING YOU, YOU HAVE A RIGHT TO AVENGE HIM.

Even lakes and rivers converge to form a new entity while unlucky bastards such as yourself have not been blessed enough to change. People call it the axiom of equality, was it? x will always remain x and after so many times, you are back to be part of this blank nothingness.

It isn't that you actually remember how many times exactly or that there are markings on a wall to remind you of countless failures. Emptiness you've come to realize is scarier when it is not dark. When there are no shadows and bells, no voices that call out to anything or anyone - that is true nothingness.

Waking again - ache and tiredness felt - just to be in this white canvas is excruciating. If your x is nothingness, how many times must you go through this and open up the doors in search of something? Maybe if you simply refused to get on your feet and walk around this time, the entity that wakes you up would decide to move on and find a new play thing?

Your mind seems to be as confused as the soul that lives in every atom of your body. Were you tasked with saving someone? Saving the world? Was it perhaps revenge that wants something important? Were you trying to save yourself even? It feels like it has been years at this point. Leaves and snow have switched places with blossoms countless times while you were wandering in this fucking nothingness.

Blank. Pale. Without shadows or doors this time.

Surely, giving up is the only option now even if you aren't sure what would be slipping away.

"Oh you poor thing. You must be exhausted after so many defeats."

That is new. A voice other than your own finally inside of this space. Would hope make you helpless now? Hallucinations aren't out of the question either. The mind finds it interesting to play tricks on its host.

"If I knew how many times I have failed, something tells me I would feel even worse." "I know the exact number. Would you like me to say it?" "Obviously not. Was that not clear from my earlier response?" "You've always said one thing and then done another. All humans are a paradox somewhere from my perspective." "Must be a fun perspective when you are forced to hide away and keep me here." "You have failed over a hundred times already and nothing about your attitude is helping you right now you know."

How petty. She said that on purpose to get back to you. "Nothing is forcing me to be nice to you."

"And exactly nothing is forcing you to make so many mistakes. The same nothing that is making you enjoy the idea of relinquishing everything you gained so far because you got tired. I am not the one keeping you here." "What are you doing then?" "I have been tasked with guiding you."

That makes you snicker.

"Guiding me? It seems we are both failing at our tasks." "That just proves you know nothing about the gravity of the situation. I will not argue with someone lacking in knowledge of this world."

"You just di-" Sunlight seems to hit your face before you can finish that sentence and that feeling of feeling washed by it makes something in you wake up. Unbridled sadness takes the shape of a ray that tries to climb towards the sun.

He moved like sunlight. Washing over the forests and the lakes, even the distant mountains in his hue that grew stronger and stronger every single year.

Wait..he who? The only reason your eyelids try to look towards the source of the sun is because that way tears would not fall. You would be crying over someone you don't even remember.

"Has that managed to refresh your memory?" "I would appreciate it if you could speed this up. Something about this dance of yours is not making me feel pleasant." "You haven't forgotten yourself. That is the most important part to me." "How kind."

You can feel something dropped on the ground behind you. First, you move your knees to help you sit up and after that you rise.

"If I see one more door when I turn around, I will find you and make you regret it." "If I stop acting like your guide, you will never leave this place. Just know your empty threads do not phase me."

How annoying she is. You pray that when you turn on your heels it will not be another door and - to your big surprise - it is not.

"Do not feel so relieved at this. The fact that I cannot guide you towards a door right now proves we are on a dangerous path to you vanishing." "Is that why I can also hear your voice right now?" "Precisely."

Perhaps this voice is just another part of you trying to force a way in? Your 'guide' did not manifest a door but she seems to have manifested a pedestal used for museum exhibits. As you approach it, you see that there are exactly four of them that extend in a straight line. She will make you walk to each of them, surely.

The first pedestal seems to hold envelopes and paper. You cannot read them because of the haphazardness in which it exists inside the glass but you are able to catch glimpses.

Some of these are completely yellow, other white. There are a few stains on the ones in the corners and the writing seems to belong to multiple hands. Confident and smooth cursive is right next to insecure and clumsy boxy letters. There are no signatures to give away the senders or what they might have written about but you can see a few blots. Was it rain on tears that made these spots so ineligible to the point where you are unsure there even is meaning in deciphering a few letters from the words?

Then, there are crumbled papers that have been straightened again, some never even got that far because you can see a few burn marks.

If all of these were written to one person - they must have been loved on a level unknown to most. To have so many hands pen them with the same family stamp must be proof of unyielding love.

"I wish I was loved like Ajax. I would always know by his eyes when his siblings would write. Once, he lost a letter and I was the one who found it. I always had to thank him for everything - that was the first time he thanked me."

"Finally. You remember one of the key things we need to open the door. Who was he to you?" "He was a knight."

And that answer feels wrong. Yet, nothing else besides these traces is on the surface. He was a knight to everyone, not just you! The answer is wrong and you feel like you are undermining an entire world for not having something else.

"Not good enough." The first pedestal disappears and your stomach crashes into the second one because even the blank space seems to be in a rush. "I need you to stop relying on what you know. Look at that and tell me what it makes you think of." "This? It makes me think of children that play games." "Why?" "It is a wooden sword with dried mud on it. What else is it supposed to make me imagine?" "Have you ever seen it?" "I have not..."

The wooden sword is almost on the cusp of falling apart. Dust would suit it better than how it is right now. The handle is darker than the tip and somethink akin to mold seems to be spreading on it. Do kids play this hard with swords? Hard enough to leave grip marks?

Again you are missing something. Something is escaping you. These depths of your senselessness cannot be penetrated by the sun. You have to help yourself now. What are you missing? What crucial thing?

Your head is touching the glass now and your breath is making it fog up. Impatience was never a virtue but it seems to help you right now.

"Is... is one of those spots actual blood? Did- Did he kill when he was still so young?"

The voice does not respond to you and that itself is answer enough. It isn't just your breath that gets in the way now, a few tears fall down.

When did his childhood end? When did Ajax lose his innocence that other kids were allowed to keep and carry for maybe even a decade longer than he had been fortunate enough to? Perhaps he lost his innocence when he had to use a false name for the first time in his life. Perhaps he lost his innocence when he had to take the oath to protect knowing just how much blood could be part of it in the future? He wasn't playing like other kids, he was destined to do this.

All of those thoughts are there as distraction. You know he lost his innocence the first time he used this sword to kill. And yes, he told you that the first creature he killed was an animal but it doesn't lift up your guilt. Somewhere inside of your blood the guilt flows.

How does a child feel when he has to kill something with a wooden sword he used for practice all that time? He probably threw it away afterwards. Danger requires sharper weapons.

Your voice is strained and something is salty on the tip of your tongue.

"Make this disappear. Make it go away. Right now. I don't want to-" "The fact that you don't wish to remember is what forced my hand and taken away the key. You haven't forgotten yourself because you cannot forget him."

The voice replies and you cannot find it in yourself to respond because she is kind enough to let you walk towards the next pedestal.

Are things in this space supposed to repeat? Maybe this is what you do. Repeat things just enough so that small parts are changed. The next pedestal holds papers once again but instead of them being cramped up and constrained - there are only two papers with an envelope behind them.

Unlike before - you are able to read the words now.

One of them is written like a short letter. A notice - a certain person claims they have found your secret. You do not know who they are or who the words are addressed to but apparently this secret would change everything and create chaos. A royal seems to have married a commoner despite being engaged to another kingdom's ruler. What makes your heart drop is that this letter is related to the paper next to it.

A wedding certificate with your own name next to his. Was this the secret they were reporting on? Was this a crime that caused the attack and raid? It cannot be.

In that instant, you see a vision. Something about the room is familiar to you, a tall imposing figure with shades of blue stands in the middle of the room while Ajax's glowed hand which is hiding a ring raises up and up. There is no sunlight in his eyes and you wish to pour it in somehow. The dark room, the other person not speaking - it is all too much. Suddenly, a light sparks in them.

The wedding certificate before you starts to disappear. In the vision - Ajax throws it into the fire to appease and protect like he always has.

"Assure the king, I was and always will be, nothing more than a simple friend and knight."

He did not betray you, he protected you in that moment. You are sure of it. Still, the realization of this makes it hard to breathe and your brain keeps trying to tie it all.

That other man in the room must have been the one to blame. It doesn't matter if he wrote the letter or if he was the king. You finally remember enough to rush towards the fourth and final pedestal.

This one will always be recognizable. It is the sword he carried for so long. The sword that protected you but that marked the day he told you to run and meant his end.

Because you recognize it, you have to get to it. You have to break this glass and take it into your own hands. Vengeance screams and the space seems to be getting smaller - you only feel it because it continues to look the same.

Desperate fists make the glass break and you are able to grab the sword. At that moment - you know what you have to do. A door opens and you fall through it - rage seeps in and you are not aware where it opened or where it is leading you. But you see that face, the one you need to confront.

There is no white space around you anymore. You will use this sword to fulfil your own oath made on the dawn after he threw his life away. Golden light was your witness and since he moved like the sunrays, you will have to apologize to him for not having enough grace to carry on in such a way.

You rush, you stumble. But you can fell that soon your feet will hit the ground. And then, you will come face to face with the man who took him away from you. He worked for that king. The name does not come to you but his face does.

The light disappears and you don't hear a voice. Thud.

Your feet are on the ground and this sword will be used to strike the enemy. He will stand before you once you open your eyes.

There is no hesitation. Before your eyes are open, your feet are moving forward. This is it. This is the moment you have been walking towards even in that white fucking space.

Except, it is not the enemy that greets you.

It is his eyes. His hand because you would recognize those small blue veins anywhere for there once was a ring next to them.

Your Ajax is standing in front of you, leaning against a building. There is not red that surrounds him but there is a sunset that lights up his lips as he takes a puff of his cigarette.

"Took you long enough."

Is the shine slowly coming back to his eyes, or is it just your imagination?

a/n: Hello everyone!! Yes, it is not two characters but just one this time. My apologies but it has been so long since I have written anything and Childe simply came calling me. I realize I started this ages ago and it not even halfway done but please enjoy! Kazuha is the next character but i am not making promises when that will happen.

If you are able to make the connections by crumbs i give you - feel free to tell me about them!

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#genshin x reader #childe x reader #genshin impact #ajax x reader #tartaglia x reader #genshin imagines #genshin scenarios #genshin childe #genshin tartaglia #pwanw

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