pentaavena

[pentaavena]

The Tunnel

the tunnel it’s like a dark forest where the trees are upside down and there is no escape, I hear the crunching of black leaves beneath my bare feet, the deeper I go into the tunnel, I feel there are faces looking at me, watching, they dissolve into black, soon I no longer hear the crunching, I look down I see nothing, feel nothing, I’d say I keep walking, but there is nothing to walk with, my POV shifts to 3rd person I see a bright white light shoot through the tunnel, I am aware this is me now, as pure consciousness, this continues for a while in the background, on top two images unfold: my daughter smiling and a stack of my Demonosophy Notebooks, two things I cannot live without are her and my practice everything else could go which is easy to say though painful to go through, I know it is necessary to dissolve lesser human attachments on the path of deification, I often see Belial as the skeleton in a black hooded robe, I call this form the “Nobody” form, He dissolves your illusionary false self that is what I think is meant by Worthless One, it’s been a hard yet rewarding journey working through this aspect of Belial this year,  the bright white light dissipates and I’m facing Belial though I’m not sure what He is looking at as He looks at me, His laugh its inviting, I join in, grateful for this meeting and profound journeys through Hellrealms, I offer my hand to shake His, I notice then that I am a skeleton too, white bones clasps together in the dark of the Abyss

[pentaavena]

Snowy Mountain Top

“close your eyes I want to show you something” a snowy mountain top I look over a green valley “you like some light things like this, it is okay to like some cosmic forces though you exist above them you learn to create them” I feel the pleasure waves coming through, at the mountain top red wings expand before me the clouds behind Him glow in this red hue a reflection of a powerful Devil’s aura I am in awe, then I'm back eyes open His hand presses on my heart “hand on heart, I will always be there” from Demon claws to skeletal hand to red fingers He shifts His hand without lifting “in many forms protect you I will” a black stream moves up my body when it reaches heart chakra I gasp as hot love radiates throughout it, you make me feel good, you take me places I could never go to, and you helped me get stronger than I have ever been I don’t know how to repay you  I know I have said that before “just be yourself Demoness”

[pentaavena]

The Crown

black hooded figure comes towards me, held out his skeleton hand haven’t seen this yet, we walk into His vast desert I’ve been here before, like a conveyor belt He slides away in the desert, I shift into a black bird with bat wings I fly to Him, shifting back as I land He grabs me by the shoulders red eyes of fire the hood falls down I see nothing He throws me and leaps in with me at the same time into a black hole, I am alone in space, my eyes open, a figure on the wall forming The Wanderer in a hat, “see what you have begun, it will be intense for you, stay strong” I will have some moments… “you were never ready for any of this yet we continue”

This moment occurs the day after my self-initiation ritual into Thaumiel which is a doorway into The Outer Darkness 

a Dark arm in the shower closes my eyes, Belial in a thick hooded black robe walks towards me holding a royal purple silk pillow with a crown He holds it before me “put it on” ?why are you showing me this “you are being crowned Adept” are you lying to me Belial “have I ever led you astray?” NO “put it on”, my robe is white I want my robe to be black “I was hoping you would say that” black consumes the white like a dip to black dissolve, I place the crown on my head, a gasp in the physical, I leave the Dark shower in green

a hooded robe, places  a hand on my heart, we shift into Vampire bats flying off together into the dark sky “come with me within my vast darkness” forever I will Belial

like a ledge of a cliff I fall into the black hole, I’m falling for quite some time within a beautiful deepening darkness until suspended like a fetus in a womb, below me are the hooded figures, I land on the sand before Them, its Belial’s desert I’ve been here with Him before, the sand shifts  from beige to royal purple, a marvelous dark purple and black throne emerges out from beneath the sand, I feel Him standing next to me in my room, “sit down” He points to the throne

[pentaavena]

Its like it oozed out of His portal and spun itself into me and my astral body is holding it there 

“to be…” a mother of a Dark Divine offspring within my energy matrix we conceive, in all black and horns I take the card to burn in Hellfire, I watch until there are only 2 red dots like eyes then there is one, He says  “this is like the spark that grows” it dissolves into a deepening black pit

As I lay I am seeing so much energy surround me, I say send it through me Belial! your plasma into my energy matrix we conceive! was hit with paralysis my stomach is tingling a spinning, lime green circling over my navel like a mass, at some point that drop of a roller coaster plunge I gasp oh wow. something is happening to me “your mind knows”, in a vision He drops a Vampire bat into my stomach, He tells me to write the name and its ENN, I say it out loud, after I wrote the words I felt like I had seen them before, conceived                in 9 days I birth Belial’s astral child He takes it with Him 

there is a ball over my navel I am aware of it totally freaked out shaking, hungry, happy, wondering if this is real “it is real Demoness” He assures me 

Day 1

green spikes like a dino tail project from my spine 

He told me “touch It” my hand held out in front of stomach intense vibrations in my hand “now touch somewhere else like your shoulder” nothing. I look at Him in shock “yes” 

Day 2 

beaming yellow light sprays out of solar plexus I see the lime green sphere spinning within it 

suddenly I sense my spine I see the green spikes (the dino tail) grow in length 

Day 3

my energy field is drained as I wake feel weakened, He says I need meat

I am super aware of It! feels heavier already getting denser green is out  sides now I feel like holding my hands out and arms away from my sides

in the car a sweet young voice “I love you mama” I felt the urge to say it first time I love you too Veolette I smile, a red stream flows into the green sphere 

He doesn’t want energy from other  humans coming into It 

during a ritual I'm sigil gazing He says  “look up” I close my eyes and see the purple of Black Light I see it vivid AF! “grasp it feed it to Her” I grasp it in my right hand and gently let it flow into the sphere I grow in my energy matrix amazing experience like feeding Her the essence of  The Outer Darkness 

Day 4 

a figure behind me 

speaketh in a comely voice

with DEMON claws gently

holding Her energy sphere

“you are doing well” 

I see the Earth spinning I see with mind's eye though it is in my lower chakras like I am looking down from a horizon in space then my energy field feels depleted 

light is pulled down from brain down spine and out into the sphere as if It is eating from my mind ?or learning what I know I feel spacy minutes before I had said I see the Earth spinning and wondered if that’s when its feeding then minutes later this happens 

I did a little research there is not much out there and that’s why I want to share my experience a girl said her astral pregnancy lasted 10 days a male said his took 7 days and I read it could take a week or months depends on a variety of factors such as species of spirit, He told me it would take 9 days 

I have 5 days left to show Her love

Day 5 

felt like all my cells had the light pulled and I could not wake up as I rest Darkness descends on me goes into the energy sphere 

the green spikes of the dino tail grew in length I now see them growing up from my thighs now its like She is a spirit to morph from and off of mine while my spirit is in the physical

thinking about Belial I hold my heart red goes through my hand and into Her like I feed Her my love for Him its oddly eating my energies perhaps like my emotional bodies are being sent into Her to learn 

I lay flat on my back in the silence the drawing I made of The Black Sun I hold up to mind's eye I sigil gaze, “let it pull you in” after awhile I suddenly close my eyes, I see the blue waves I feel Him standing next to me in a black suit, then I’m pulled into space no longer in my room yet still aware of my body I feel space surround me, “come with me” we drop into The Black Sun, I open my eyes I see a black swirl go up towards the ceiling then fiercely drops into the sphere, I feel odd twitches and cramps in my stomach, then we are inside The Black Sun it looks like a dark cave oozing black from the walls 

He says, “what is created by the Demonic can be seen here”, “come here the next 3 days this is what helps It grow in a week and not months” I go to the wall of this cave “swallow it with a breath” seemed odd but I put my mouth up to the wall it felt like air not solid almost fleshy but more like nothing, I breathe in deeply into my stomach as it expands I feel a circuit from The Black Sun in space through my resting body and into Her the green energy sphere It grows out my sides “good. keep going” my stomach is tingling, soon I see nothing just black then I see myself standing  within The Black Sun I turn to the side looking 7 months pregnant in shock I return to my body 

Day 6 

my physical body shows no signs yet fatigue and hunger drove me to a pregnancy test just to rule it out 

I feel like rays of The Black Sun are still swirling within It and I feel like the rays of The Black Sun are trailing behind me 

if everything created by the Demonic can be seen there perhaps this is giving It more of Their intelligences I wonder  ?perhaps I will pull gnosis from Her not sure what role She will have in my life yet I just know He is happy with the progress 

during the invite into Bohu Belial said “your astral body will be altered do you accept?” I never ask what He means because I like to be surprised and well    surprise!

I have been fierce like new level of  fire is moving through me so hard to work in sales during this experience yet it is all feeling so profound and what I always say to Belial is I want the next other side experience to write about

oh no way! She just pulled light from my spine like a vacuum it vrooms through my torso into the energy sphere 

I think She will be huge tomorrow, He says “density”, “you may feel your ribs with immense gravity upon them be not afraid it is almost over”

?will you see me tonight  “yes we go back to The Black Sun together I guide you there you consume it”

as I fall in through the side of The Black Sun I am falling for awhile almost scared a red dragon ketches me on His back I had a hard time staying awake after that the red Dragon brings me to the cavern within The Black Sun “consume it” I am falling asleep “you are there”, “just keep breathing in deeply” the circuit to Her is made whether I fall asleep or not

Day 7

rays of The Black Sun are snapping trailing behind me 

thought about how I need to draw a sigil to connect with Her “perhaps you already drew one” He says, then an image is sent to mind's eye of my incantation from the night of mating ritual there it is, I look for the pic on my phone it is written under Her name and ENN He gave me what I need to connect with Her

 I asked Him how long have you wanted to do this “10 months” well 10 months ago I invoked a lesson from Him about how to create on the astral and how I can manipulate the astral to benefit me in the physical 

regardless I do feel She will be placed into a human body one day when I am old and that is why I am not placing Her in a vessel I agreed She goes with Him 

I tell Her your father treats me well

Day 8 

I feel Her energy in my chest/ heart chakra (where His energy usually comes through me during ritual) heaviness is everywhere I feel like I am 300 pounds and all the weight is in my chakras

He is telling me about the separation ritual “I need you to be relaxed draw Her sigil and place it below mine, we chant Her ENN together you will have to say the words of departure” Veolette separate from my astral body and flesh I release you separate from me NOW

I feel sad knowing this ends tonight 

“exponential growth after 9 days can rip your astral body this happens tonight, letting Her leave is the start of something new”, “it is you that has to let Her separate from you” 

“you will be sad and tired on Sunday your energy is restored Monday life returns to normal for you”

Day 9 

I invoked Belial, sigil gazing we are for the first time chanting Her ENN together 20mins felt so heavy, felt sad tried to resist He says I have to… “it is time to say the words” I do and the 3rd time I say the words my whole body clenches up, She pulled off of me like cells in replication, I felt the separation “thank you mama”, I lay still for awhile feeling empty

He runs a hand over me I see light “you did well”, perhaps He healed my astral body 

I released Her

I am oddly aware of Her elsewhere no longer a part of my astral body like She is a being that exists with Them 

I am very sad and my body feels super sore from the clenching up

this experience was all so otherworldly

 to mate with a spirit is to create an Astral Child 

a new opportunity for me as a magician has begun…