pequins

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happy fathers day everyone i am hungover and eating frozen raw cookie dough

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this blog is officially 9 months old, who up birthing pequins

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would u guys still love me if i wrote fics for more fandoms (still writing rpf but other stuff too)

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schlatt is so big its actually kinda scary like what if he licks my head

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me after reading a fic where schlatt says “babygirl” bc no he literally would not

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im simply a conduit of my followers wishes

we need top scientists to study what remains of the lunch club fangirls. the one writing heterosexual cscoop x reader smut is back in the tags again and i've never wanted to pick at someone's brain so bad in my whole life

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true guys stop doing this

we need top scientists to study what remains of the lunch club fangirls. the one writing heterosexual cscoop x reader smut is back in the tags again and i've never wanted to pick at someone's brain so bad in my whole life

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absolutely amazing day to be a jealous schlatt truther

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i want it in all holes

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Sapnap × fem!reader about first date or something also?? (Dont nsfw) 🥺

i would rather be shot

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𝐬𝐜𝐡𝐥𝐚𝐭𝐭 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐩𝐫𝐞𝐠𝐧𝐚𝐧𝐭 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫

• doting to the point of annoyance. do you need anything? are you comfortable? are you hungry? thirsty? did you take prenatals today?do you want a blanket? you need a blanket.

• absolutely clueless about what he’s doing, but he’d put on an act like he knows what he’s doing, secretly calling his mom for step-by-step instructions.

• tells everyone you’re pregnant. random cashier? their pregnant btw!

• talking to your tummy as soon as he finds out you’re pregnant and swears the baby can hear him.

• “i will love you forever, unless you’re a red sox fan.”

• definitely forces the baby to listen to his christmas album

• starts referring to you as ‘momma’ much to your dismay

• suggests baby names like ‘blender’ and ‘playbutton’

• stays up for hours on google researching ‘what to do when pregnant’ and giving himself anxiety.

• his research leads him to believe that you need to be in bed! all the time!

• he attends all your appointments and somehow gets more emotional than you

• absolutely pretends like he knows more than your obstetrician, google said so.

• already practicing his horrible dad jokes

• "what did the ocean say to the beach?" "what?" "nothing, it just waved."

• takes pictures and videos of your bump, every. single. day.

• nests harder than you do, buys unnecessary gadgets, organizes baby clothes that wont fit by month 2.

• tries to paint the nursery himself but accidentally getting paint all over himself and the walls.. and the carpet.

• definitely bought himself a ‘worlds best dad’ mug

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hes so cute someone kill this guy

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yeah im jaggin awf

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LOOOORDDD HAVE MERCY IM BOUT TO BUSSTTT

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this is very important.

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AUUUUFHHGEHEB!!/&/92&1):?3!??&/!

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hes so cute i hate him

been capturing the times he laughs for real