percontaion-points

[percontaion-points]

GITS chapters 12 & 13

Click here for the rest of the series!

Click to see the rest of the snark & image descriptions

Chapter 12

As we neared the Ferris wheel, it flared to life, like a constellation come down to Earth right in front of us. “Dez, is this for us?” I dropped my arm and gathered my hands in front of my chest. The motion was a little girl’s, but I didn’t care. I didn’t feel like a little girl. I was on my own, eighteen, on a surprise date with a beautiful boy who had apparently arranged for us to have a private ride on the Ferris wheel. “All tonight is for you. Come on,” he said.

It’s hard to be impressed by this when both of them literally work at this circus.

“I could tell you would keep running away unless I made it impossible.”

Wow yeah, buddy. Trap her in the ferris wheel car. That’s not fucking creepy or anything…

No matter how reckless or stupid I had to be to do it.

Chapter 12 summary: They move to the next city. There, Moira pouts because she and Dez have been avoiding one another. But then one evening, Remy tells her that Dez is at the door for her. Dez takes her out, to the ferris wheel that belongs to the circus. Wow buddy, pulling out all of the stops by taking her to the place where you both work, are you? Anyway, they go up into it, where Dez them says that he did this intentionally so that she wouldn’t run away. He then kisses her, but Moira is hesitant. She doesn’t want him to get hurt again. He then pulls out champagne. Because nothing says “I want you to love me” quite like dollar store liquor. He goes on and says that he wants to help her get a proper stage act, one that will rival Raleigh’s act. It’s pretty much the only thing that she wants, but she doesn’t want to drag him into her untamed magic. So she promises to think about it.

Chapter 13

“Soooo . . . how’d it go?” Jules asked, rocking forward. The evening with Dez had been confusing. And, alternately, like being hit by lightning. I could hardly say that. “We’re probably better off as friends.” “Ha!” Jules shook her head. She pointed at the flowers. “Friends don’t bring friends flowers.”

I don’t know how to explain to Julie that this is Moira saying that she doesn’t want to become romantically involved with Dez.

“It’s not the crowd. It’s . . . I’m afraid now. I never used to be, but now I am. And I don’t know how not to be, how to make it feel like it used to, being up there. Like I didn’t have to worry. Like nothing would go wrong. You can’t fly and be afraid to move at the same time.”

She’s talking about the grief of losing Sam here… But let’s be honest: it’s probably not helping that she’s relying on the person responsible for Sam’s death to catch her as she flies through the air. It’s such a shitty situation all around. Honestly, if Novio won’t leave, I think that Dita should. “Oh, but what about breaking up the family act-” HE FUCKING MURDERED HER BOYFRIEND, AND THEN SHOWED ZERO REMORSE OVER ANYTHING THAT HE DID. HE BROKE THE FAMILY UP A LONG TIME AGO.

Dita had put it best: you couldn’t fly and be afraid of moving at the same time.

Chapter 13 summary: When Moira gets back to the Garcia’s RV, she finds Dita, Remy, and Julie enjoying pizza. She joins them, but laments that she doesn’t want to become romantically involved with Dez. Which is something that’s somehow baffling to Julie to think about. When the subject of Sam is brought up, Dita leaves with tears in her eyes. Julie encourages Moira that maybe Dita would open up to somebody who isn’t family, somebody who has a clearer head about what’s going on. As Moira goes to leave the room (please remember that this is an RV, meant to be on the road more often than not), she overhears Julie and Remy talking. Julie wants to move the coin, but Remy keeps saying no. In Dita’s room, Moira tries to open up the conversation, but Dita says she doesn’t want to talk about it. Moira realises that she’s going to have to open up herself, and Dita talks about how Moira never says anything about her clearly bad family situation, or about whatever the fuck is going on between Moira and Remington. Dita then says that she’s been suffering depression, even a year after Sam was killed. That her depression has been impacting her flying routine. I am once again putting emphasis on the fact that she also has to do this routine with the man indirectly responsible for Sam’s death, which is probably not helping Dita’s mental state, either. The two of them agree that what they need is a make-over.

Hire me to fix your book! Copyediting, proofreading, developmental editing, sarcastic editing, and more! 16 years of book-editing experience. Message me anywhere for pricing and further details.

[percontaion-points]

GITS chapters 10 & 11

Click here for the rest of the series!

Click to see the rest of the snark & image descriptions

Chapter 10

Thurston pattered on about the Love Brothers and the Goddesses of Beauty. The older brother, Casanova, a.k.a. Novio, dominated one side. Romeo, a.k.a. Remy, dominated the other.

The fact that not only is Novio still there, but that the siblings are still performing with him is nothing short of a miracle. If I was Dita, I wouldn’t want anything to do with him.

But before I could read it aloud, a crow with white plumage on its breast flew in through the door.

Chapter 10 summary: Moira stands to watch the performances that night. After a while, Dez joins her, and he starts pestering her about how she got her start in magic, how she learnt her tricks if she was under such heavy restrictions. They watch Julie and Emil do their tightrope walk, and then the Garcia siblings do their act. Dita is quick to fall hard on the net, but the show must go on. Remy does his quad flip, and everybody loves that. Later, they all meet up. Moira meets Mrs. Garcia for the first time… Where the fuck she’s been is anybody’s guess. However, the book then proceeds to start whacking us upside the head with the “Remy’s and Julie’s story isn’t over!” chair yet again. When they get back to their RV, they find it ransacked. They’d gone through Moira’s things, but she’s happy that her money is still there. They all go over to report this to Thurston, only to find several others there as well. Mrs. Garcia, Mrs. Maroni… Even Thurston’s trailer was ransacked as well. As they’re looking around the mess in Thurston’s trailer, they find a note claiming that a mysterious person also wants the coin. But then a crow shows up and steals the note.

Chapter 11

“This is serious,” the Garcia mother said.

I love how she still doesn’t even have a fucking name. Not even a passing mention of one. Rosa. There her name is now fucking Rosa, because she’s a god-damned person, and not simply the vassal that spat out Novio, Remy, and Dita. WAS THAT SO FUCKING HARD?!

“There are rumors, whispers among some of the crew, about Roman Garcia. Rumors that he had a magic coin, very old. A coin that could make the bearer successful beyond their wildest dreams, give them the best luck in the world. That it was lost, but now might be found, as the saying goes. Do you think someone believes the stories? Crazy, right?”

All of this should have been fucking put to bed with Novio being exposed at the end of the previous season. DID LITERALLY NONE OF YOU LEARN YOUR LESSON AFTER SAM FUCKING DIED?!

Sincerely, Your daughter (whether you like it or not)

Chapter 11 summary: The crow belongs to Rally, who was previously mentioned in earlier chapters. He comes bursting in, quick to apologise for the entire thing. However, the obvious metaphorical elephant in the room being why it’s all in disarray. Thurston asks Rally if he knows anything about a magic coin. Rally says yes, that there are whispers going around about a coin that gives insanely good luck. Julie and Remy share an odd look, before they say that they destroyed the coin at the end of the previous season. The problem is that, even if truth were to go around, nobody would believe it. They’re hell-bent on destroying everything to get what they think is real magic. Moira and Rally are of the opinion that this is all bullshit, and that people don’t need to get hurt for this. The next day, after Dita leaves to go to her own rehearsal, Moira sits alone in the room and tries to do real magic on the coin that accidentally transformed and “hurt Dez” in the previous chapter. However, the only thing that happens is that Moira passes out. Dita wakes her up sometime later, and Moira makes up some excuse about not being on “circus time” yet. Before she’s about to head out to dinner, she checks her email to find that the state of Nevada got back about a PDF copy of her birth certificate. It says that the name of her mother is Regina A. Ghost, which Moira is like “That’s a bullshit name if I’ve ever seen one.” Right as she’s about to log out, she sees that she has a second new email, one from Regina herself. In it, Regina basically begs Moira to stop looking into her. Moira sends off an angry reply stating that her magic made her pass out a few minutes ago.

Hire me to fix your book! Copyediting, proofreading, developmental editing, sarcastic editing, and more! 16 years of book-editing experience. Message me anywhere for pricing and further details.

[percontaion-points]

GITS chapters 8 & 9

Click here for the rest of the series!

Click to see the rest of the snark & image descriptions

Chapter 8

I’d hurt Dez—without even the slightest intention. I’d been completely out of control again.

Again, I find myself swinging back to the most logical explanation: Dez had an underlying medical condition that happened to trigger when she was performing. Since this series refuses to actually address the main issue of “does magic actually exist or not”, I’m still firmly in camp “no it does not. You people are experiencing group psychosis.” This book is making it a bit more obvious. But the author doesn’t seem to know how to actually answer her own question.

The man in the suit coat began to deal us out hands for five-card stud. A basic variation of poker at best. The only problem was, he was using a mechanic’s grip on the cards, holding them just so, his finger curled around the side. Also a basic variation—a cheat. […] He’d dealt me two pairs. A glance around the table told me no one else was very happy with their cards, though of course they all tried to hide it. […] And I tossed my cards on the table, faceup—against the rules, but I wanted him to wonder where his scheme went wrong. No pairs in sight. […] “Do you know how stupid it was for you to try to cheat him?” “I wasn’t trying to cheat. He was.”

Is it really cheating if you throw the game to get out of it? Like she intentionally lost the game. Most people stack the deck in their favour.

“You’re sure? Maybe they should run the tests.” “Fate has its plans, and it doesn’t consult us. Why bother?”

Yes, life does find a way. However, that doesn’t mean that you can’t fight off your fate with medical intervention. Especially if you’ve developed a cardiac arrhythmia. This isn’t the god-damned 1700’s anymore. We have the technology so that people can not abruptly drop dead.

The weird creep had ordered him to come back, after all.

Chapter 8 summary: Moira can’t sleep, so she starts to get up to take a walk. She’s been sleeping on an air mattress in Dita’s room, and Dita sits up when Moira gets up. Moira tells her to go back to sleep, but asks where she could find the others who might still be up. Dita tells her that some of the guys usually have a poker game going at the edge of their circus camp. Moira goes to where Dita directed her, and finds said poker game. Dez is there, but he’s not important right now. A guy named Rex is dealing, and it’s painfully obvious to her that he’s doing a magician’s shuffle, aka ensuring that certain cards end up in certain places. There’s also something underlying between Dez and Rex; something awful. When he deals her in, she has two pairs, and it’s obvious that nobody else has a good hand. However, her girl-sense is tingling, telling her that this guy is after something. She sneaks in cards of her own before throwing her hand down, acting like she lost. Dez leaves with her, although he’s quick to brush over what happened to him. He acts like having a medical incident with his heart isn’t a big deal. He’s more interested in Moira, and ends up kissing her. However, Moira has randomly decided that what happened to him is all her fault, so she pushes him away and leaves.

Chapter 9

“Is there anyone with a computer I could borrow? I need to fill out a form my phone doesn’t like.” It was true. The Nevada vital statistics office was far from mobile friendly.

Of course it’s not any good. The government feels no need to update technology past 1998. HAVE YOU BEEN TO THE FUCKING DMV RECENTLY?!

Which left me plenty of worst-case scenarios to imagine until I found her.

Chapter 9 summary: In the morning, Moira asks Dita if there’s a computer she can use to fill out an online form. So Dita takes her to Taco’s office, where she uses his computer to fill out the state of Nevada birth certificate request form. She’s determined to find her mother, certain that her mother is somehow the answer to what’s been going on. (In my opinion, this story could go either way, but I’m leaning towards “it’s going to reveal nothing”, because that’s what the first book was about.) Later that evening, Moira walks around the pre-show, and eventually goes into Remington’s tent to watch his magic show. He’s giving some backstory about growing up in New Orleans, and using mirrors to make a voodoo doll appear like it’s been triplicated. And then his lovely assistant “transforms” into a crow. When the show is over, Moira asks him if he knows anything about her mother. He agrees that he does, but hesitates and asks that she should be talking to her father about this. The idea that Moira’s father is an abusive shitfuck is again brushed under the rug, and she presses the issue. He explain that her father had said that Moira’s mother was the only person he’s ever loved… But also the only person he’s ever hated.

Hire me to fix your book! Copyediting, proofreading, developmental editing, sarcastic editing, and more! 16 years of book-editing experience. Message me anywhere for pricing and further details.

[percontaion-points]

GITS chapters 6 & 7

Click here for the rest of the series!

Click to see the rest of the snark & image descriptions

Chapter 6

He wore an outfit not dissimilar from my own, though his shirt was black instead of white and unbuttoned to a degree that should have been tacky but managed to look reckless and hot.

No. Stop it. Get some help.

Dez grinned again, wolfish instead of rakish.

I seriously don’t know what the difference is. It’s the same thing in a different font.

“Welcome, Jacksonville, to the second season of the great, the astounding, the amazing and best circus still going . . . the Cirque American!”

Considering that Barnum and Bailey shut down, the bar seems like it’s kind of on the ground for “best show still running”.

I felt someone jostle me, and I looked over, expecting to see Dez. But it was Dita and Remy. Remy gazed up, starry-eyed. Dita punched his arm. “You knew and you didn’t say anything!” she said.

Again, kind of feel like this book is caught up in the swirl of the author wanting to write more about Julie and Remy, and not having enough of actual plot to do so. And it’s not so much that I’d mind reading a sequel about Remy and Julie doing circus stuff… But my problem is that we were promised Moira’s story. And Julie and Remy keep showing up to shove Moira out of the way.

Watching her, I felt like I could do the same.

Chapter 6 summary: They all get ready for the first performance. As she’s sitting around, waiting for stuff to happen, Dez comes over and starts bugging her. They start talking about how it is that they got into their respective talent, and bond over how they’re self-taught. Dez shows her a huge scar on his arm. Despite the fact that this is a huge travelling circus, Moira is still somehow blown away with how many people came to see them that night. However, Reylo tells her that maybe it would be best if she didn’t go on, insisting that there’s a lot of cameras and the entire thing is being filmed. However, I’m still of the opinion that he’s butt-hurt that she “stole” his invite and then upstaged him. Halfway through the performance, Thinking reveals the ferris wheel, which I think is randomly inside or something? It’s kind of confusing, honestly. But they have the tight rope wire stretched out across it, and Julie does a walk. As I said, this book is clinging onto the Julie/Remy romance, even though their story is over.

Chapter 7

Dez’s stage was just past the Ferris wheel, prime real estate he’d probably charmed his way into.

What the hell happened to the circus tent? Fuck it and the lucky coin, I guess?

My palm curled gently around the metal heart.

Chapter 7 summary: I guess that the show hadn’t actually started, and this was simply the pre-show, done outside? It would have been nice to be told about stuff like this… Or maybe I would have been paying better attention if this wasn’t boring as fuck-all. Anyway, Moira walks around, does some close-up magic, and then watches Dez for a bit. She then leaves and starts in on a straight-jacket escape. However, halfway through her routine, Dez starts to have some sort of a medical episode, which obviously distracts everybody around. He comes out of it, and acts all chill about the entire thing, despite the fact that he was…??? Having a seizure? Who knows. As everybody starts to move in order to go into the tent, Moira realises that a coin she’d gotten from Dez earlier had transformed into a heart on accident.

Hire me to fix your book! Copyediting, proofreading, developmental editing, sarcastic editing, and more! 16 years of book-editing experience. Message me anywhere for pricing and further details.

[percontaion-points]

GITS chapters 4 & 5

Click here for the rest of the series!

Click to see the rest of the snark & image descriptions

Chapter 4

Dez grinned down at me, cocky and, yes, still rakish.

I’m already super over this relationship.

Right. Someone was knocking on my car window. […] “Welcome back to the land of the not-sleeping,” he said. “There’s a minor search party looking for you.”

I don’t think that they looked all that hard for her if they failed to notice her asleep in the driver’s seat of her car.

“Stop. I don’t know much about the Praestigae, which is how you like it . . . You take what you want and move on. The consummate con artists, using magic for gain.” She shook her head. “I probably shouldn’t even be confronting you. But I recently lost someone dear to me, dear to my family, because of magic secrets and games. Because of the good luck coin from the Garcia family—you’ve probably heard that legend too.” “What?” “Wait . . . is that why you’re here? Roman’s coin is gone. No magic object is worth the pain that thing caused.” I struggled to catch up. “Are you saying that there is real magic?” Her eyes narrowed again, and she considered me. “You, my dear, are very skilled at playing dumb.”

Or hear me out: You’re still fucking INSANE. It’s long overdue to put granny in a home.

“Fortune-telling is, um, bogus,” I said. “You just pick up on cues, ask questions, and then make statements so general there’s no way they can be disproven.” Similar to a mentalist act or the spiritualist hoaxers Houdini had hated so much.

Yes, but can we also talk about the placebo effect that the coin and “cursed” items also carried?

For once, I was the one not holding any cards.

Chapter 4 summary: Moira slips outside, and goes to have a panic attack in her car about the fact that she did literal magic instead of stage magic. However, she quickly falls asleep, because she drove three days straight while only catching a few cat-naps to tide her over. Dez wakes her up and says that everybody is looking for her. He then questions her relationship with Nancy Maroni. However, this is the first time Moira is meeting Nancy, so she tells him the truth about that. She then goes over to the Maroni trailer, where a bunch of the other named characters are. Nancy ushers Moira inside, where she proceeds to talk about this secret magic society. The entire thing is beyond insane, although it’s still somehow in character with everything that she’d talked about in the previous book. She asks for Moira to draw a tarot card, and then Moira is surprised when she transforms the characters on the card into reflections of herself and her father. Whoops. The only reason why I can’t bring myself to care about any of this is 1) magic wasn’t actually important in the first book and 2) the reviews complain that magic isn’t important or discussed further in this book. I hate it here. Nan goes on to say that she wants for Moira to stay so that she can study the girl, and discuss things further with her. However, this leaves Moira in a weird spot, since she has nowhere to stay. The circus is shoving off tomorrow, too. Dita offers to let Moira sleep in the RV she and Remy recently got, but Rally also offers to let her stay with him. She no longer trusts the friend of her father, so she takes Dita up on her offer.

Chapter 5

She gave me a long, hard look. “People tell stories about Nan Maroni, you know. There’s truth to them.”

Mainly I’m frustrated, because I was promised Moira’s story. But instead of actually getting it, we’re dragging out Remy’s and Julie’s story way past its actual ending.

Because I can do magic and so could my absent mother . . . who maybe I should track down.

She does one weird thing that she can’t explain, and suddenly her absent mother is a member of a secret witch cult?

I waited until we were waved into a giant flat lot on the outskirts of Jacksonville, directed into parking rows, but as soon as I was stopped, I sent him a text: Here’s my address. Hope the show went well! Miss you! He texted back almost immediately: I should never have let you leave. I’m surrounded by incompetents, and there’s no one to complain to.

He wanted her around for free labour, both emotional and physical, both in the home and on the stage.

I counted twelve weeks from today until we’d be there. That was how much time I had to figure out how to put together an act that would leave zero doubt of my abilities in Dad’s mind.

Chapter 5 summary: In the morning, Dita asks what’s up with Moira and Nancy. However, Moira has no more answers to give, even after having spoken with Nancy. Dita starts in about real magic, but it’s kind of obvious that she’s walking a thin line between believing in magic and thinking that it’s a fat load of garbage that ended up with her brother murdering her boyfriend. They then make plans to get breakfast in the mess before packing up to leave with everybody else. Moira is to follow behind the Garcia’s RV in her car. As she drives, Moira calls an old magician’s assistant of her dad, whom she still sometimes talks to. Moira convinces this lady to cover for her, so now she has an address for her dad to send stuff to. When they get to their next location, Thirsty says that they’ll be travelling with the world’s largest collapsible ferris wheel.

Hire me to fix your book! Copyediting, proofreading, developmental editing, sarcastic editing, and more! 16 years of book-editing experience. Message me anywhere for pricing and further details.

[percontaion-points]

GITS chapters 2 & 3

Click here for the rest of the series!

Click to see the rest of the snark & image descriptions

Chapter 2

“Moira,” Raleigh said, releasing me, “what are you doing here?” “Auditioning. Dad’s going to force me into college this fall. I can’t convince him—you saw that—so I have to prove he’s wrong. I have to go after this another way.” “Moira,” he said again, “you shouldn’t be here. I have to call him.” “Please. Don’t do this to me.”

What’s worse than an abusive father who refuses to let you do anything? His friend also forcing you to do shit against your will. Although I am on the “college first” side of things. Yes, even for performers.

Jules Maroni looked me up and down, almost like she was trying to place me. The girl in the suit did a survey too, though she smiled apologetically at me. Jules said something back to the older woman. The woman handed Thurston the sheet of paper.

BRB, gotta beat the readers around the head with the fact that Julie is still in this book.

I was also either hallucinating or I’d just done actual magic.

Chapter 2 summary: They grant Moira the chance to prove herself in the audition, however, they tell her that since she’s not even supposed to be there, that she’s dead last. Before she goes in, Raleigh starts in about how he really needs to tell her dad. However, I am 100% on team “get the hell away from abusive parents”, and Raleigh can go fuck himself. She waits her turn, watching all of the other acts. When it’s finally her turn, she’s anxious as anything. She fumbles around a lot, and does little to impress Thornback and Julie, who are randomly judging this. (I don’t fucking know why Julie’s there, okay?) But then she somehow manages to turn her cards rainbow, she freaks out and is like “shit man, did I do real magic right now?”

Chapter 3

“Not so fast, Moira,” Dez said, lingering over my name. “I need an assistant.”

I’m sorry, but exactly what part of Moira’s act let you gather the impression that she wanted to hand you a goddamned rabbit on stage? Sexist pig.

It sank with a thunk into the wood beside my head. I strained against the straps. I’d had enough of this. My heart was racing again, and a hint of that heat from before spread through my chest. “Don’t move,” Dez said lazily.

But that’s not fucking stage magic. That’s simply knife-throwing skills and good timing. (Is it supposed to be stage magic? Who fucking knows.)

While they were distracted, I made my escape.

Chapter 3 summary: The lady that Julie was sitting next to wasn’t introduced in the previous chapter, but she’s now introduced as being Nancy. She demands to see Moira’s cards. Thurston says that all decisions must pass through her. Then they agree that they’ll offer Moira a job. Dez then says that he’s last, despite the fact that they’d told Moira that she was last because she didn’t have an invite. He demands that Moira be his “lovely assistant”, which she protests about. But he goes on to say that he always pulls people from the audience. He acts like he’s some sort of stage magician, but then proceeds to set her up and start throwing knives at her. The entire thing is baffling and weird.

Hire me to fix your book! Copyediting, proofreading, developmental editing, sarcastic editing, and more! 16 years of book-editing experience. Message me anywhere for pricing and further details.

[percontaion-points]

Currently Reading...

Currently Reading...

Tumblr, wordpress, facebook, free patreon: Girl in the Shadows

Patreon for $1/month: Wolf by Wolf

Youtube: Cruel Prince

[percontaion-points]

Girl in the Shadows prologue & chapter 1

Click here for the rest of the series!

Click to see the rest of the snark & image descriptions

Prologue

Dad had raised me with a fairy-tale-ish story about my absent mother. She’d been the loveliest of the lovely assistants, talented enough that she could have been a magician herself. But they weren’t together long before she pulled the ultimate disappearing act. Gone. Poof. Dad couldn’t even thank her for depositing me with him when I was barely a year old. She’d left no method to contact her.

A tacky magician joke on page two? Groundbreaking.

“My daughter is never going to do magic!” he said. After a moment of shocked silence, I couldn’t stop the tears from coming. “But you and my mother,” I’d managed. “I can do it.” “You can’t be a magician,” he told me. “No. The magic business will never fully embrace a woman. It isn’t what the audience wants. You can never be a magician, Moira.”

I see that the sexism remains unchanged from the first book.

Maybe Raleigh hadn’t dropped it by accident after all.

Prologue summary: Meet Moira, our new main character. She’s the daughter of Vegas-famous stage magician, Mysterious Mitchell. However, her father is a sexist pig, who refuses to view his own daughter as anybody of actual talent. He says that nobody wants a female stage magician, and dismisses the idea that she can do anything. Despite the fact that he’s her father, and she’s been watching him since she was little. One day, he dismisses her in front of his friend, and then lures his friend away so that they can play cards. As the friend is going, a card drops out from his pocket. It’s an invitation to join the Cirque Americana.

Chapter 1

Could I do this? Dad didn’t think so. I almost understood his objection —it was true that no female magician had ever become as famous as the top male ones. Magic was still a man’s world, a boys’ club.

This was published in 2016. Enough with the casual sexism and “boys’ club” bullshit.

A spaghetti-thin blond boy with a duffel bag draped over one knobby elbow breezed past me and asked, “You run off from a gay wedding?” He laughed at my feminine tux. His laugh wasn’t mean per se, but my eyes narrowed. Several of the women who worked at Dad’s show were lesbians or bi, and I’d been in one couple’s wedding. “What if I was?” I asked. “And it would just be a wedding, period.”

HAHAHA, HOMOPHOBIA IS SO FUCKING HILARIOUS!!

“But I’ll allow you inside, Miss Miracle. Without an invitation, you’d better be a miracle.”

Chapter 1 summary: Moira makes some paper-thin excuse to her dad and bolts. Which is more than I can say for Julie in the previous book. When she gets to where the winter residence of the circus is, she’s met with some random carnie throwing casual homophobia at her, but in the way that a 12 year old would do it. A different boy chides his friend, and then introduces himself to Moira as Desmond, aka Dez. She shows him a card trick, which he’s super impressed with. However, when they get inside, Mitch’s friend, Raleigh, is already there. He’s beyond pissed that Moira has his invitation, and accuses her of having stolen it. He’s honestly kind of shitty about the entire thing, which infuriates Moira. The owner (I’m guessing Thornton, whatever the fuck his name is) says that he’s already signed Raleigh for the circus, and they have no need for her. Moira is obviously dejected, but she acts like this was her one and only chance to make it big. Ignoring the fact that she’s finally away from her father for the first time in her life, and she can do whatever the fuck she wants. Dez tries to stick up for her, but eventually, they agree to let her audition.

Hire me to fix your book! Copyediting, proofreading, developmental editing, sarcastic editing, and more! 16 years of book-editing experience. Message me anywhere for pricing and further details.

[percontaion-points]

On Deck...

Click here for the rest of the series!

Firebird (Firebird 1)

TJ Powar Has Something to Prove

Fusion Fire (Firebird 2)

Love and Other Unknown Variables

Crown of Fire (Firebird 3)

A Curse so Dark and Lonely (Cursebreakers 1)

Wind and Shadow (Firebird 4)

A Heart so Fierce and Broken (Cursebreakers 2)

Daystar (Firebird 5)

A Vow so Bold and Deadly (Cursebreakers 3)

Swept Away

[percontaion-points]

Second Marriage chapters 29 & 30, epilogue

Click here for the rest of the series!

Click to see the rest of the snark & image descriptions

Chapter 29

“My husband and bonded,” Taral said, and they held each other close, and perhaps shed a tear or two, but no one needed to know.

Chapter 29 summary: Sejun continues to stew in the cell for a while longer before Taral eventually comes to get him. Once free, Sejun’s first order of business is to bathe, then have some tea. Taral tells him what happened, but we already figured out most of it. Mainly, the owner of the bookstore where the letter was handed to Sejun was a double-agent, who alerted the guards. They followed Sejun back from the other lady’s shop. She was investigated and cleared of any wrongdoing. The letter was meant for one of her customers, not her. The story finished, Taral tells Sejun that he loves him. Which is great, because they’re kind of stuck together because of the bond.

Chapter 30

The negotiations paused for a few days while King Aditya arrested a number of high-ranking courtiers and the palace devolved into gossip both whispered and blatant.

I honestly don’t really care about this. It’s kind of baffling to me that this king would arrest the spouse of a visiting dignitary and then… they didn’t fucking leave as soon as Sejun was released. But then again, maybe they’re trying so hard to build bridges, even after somebody chucked a Molotov cocktail at the half-finished project.

Somehow, miraculously, with all the unexpected wonder of a blessing, happiness had found him.

Chapter 30 summary: The book wraps up the entire “subterfuge” subplot. Which I would probably care more about if it didn’t feel like it had been shoved in at the last second in order for there to be literally any problem at all. Taral goes to visit his shopkeeper friend, who was shaken after having been held for a while during all of this. She says that she knew the guy the letter was intended for, but he was hardly a regular in her shop. The entire thing was kind of odd. When the peace talks resume, the queen of the lands stands up and is kind of like “Okay guys, let’s stop pussyfooting around. We need peace for our children, and their children.” So they actually start getting somewhere with that. After the treaty is all worked out and signed, and alliances made with Taral’s kingdom, our two leads head back home. They’re met with a welcome home party. Later, as they tumble into their own bed for the first time in a long while, Taral admits that his heat is late.

Epilogue

“My husband,” Taral murmured, and they sat there for a while, warm in the fading light, until Gurratan came downstairs again with the baby.

Epilogue summary: Taral and Sejun go out to visit Gurraten and Ram after her baby is born. While they’re there, Taral tells his friend that he pregnant. And with that, the series comes to a close.

Hire me to fix your book! Copyediting, proofreading, developmental editing, sarcastic editing, and more! 16 years of book-editing experience. Message me anywhere for pricing and further details.

[percontaion-points]

Second Marriage chapters 27 & 28

Click here for the rest of the series!

Click to see the rest of the snark & image descriptions

Chapter 27

“So I’m free to leave?” Poplar gave him a long look, assessing him in some way. “Who gave you the letter?” “What? You said—” Sejun broke off, realizing that Poplar hadn’t given him a name. Your friend. There had been four of them inside the shop, and if Poplar didn’t know the source of the letter, Sejun was reluctant to divulge it.

Bitch, you are literally sitting in a prison cell because that asshole decided that you’d make a good patsy. Don’t protect them!

Sejun, Sejun, his heart beat, and spread the sweet song of Sejun’s name all throughout his body.

Chapter 27 summary: Sejun sits in the prison cell, wondering what the hell he did. Eventually, one of the sorcerers, Poplar, comes to question him. He knows that Sejun isn’t lying, but continues to probe him for further answers. In the end, the literal only reason why Sejun isn’t released is because he refused to give up the name of the asshole who gave him the letter. What an idiot. Back over with Taral, he continues to basically wait around for any sort of news. There’s not much he can do, even from a political standpoint. He’s not stupid enough to try and throw the weight of his kingdom around, since it’s peanuts in comparison to their host. Jaysha comes over and the two of them finally have a talk about what happened all those years ago. Although there isn’t much to be said, it helps Taral to put all of this to rest. Mainly so that he can focus on Sejun.

Chapter 28

“Then there’s one other request I’ll make of you. Your husband refuses to give up the name of the person who gave him the letter. You’ll write to him, please, and tell him to stop trying to protect someone who doesn’t deserve his loyalty.”

YES, THANK YOU!

Poplar gave him a look. “Did it? We’ll see what comes to pass. I’m grateful for the information, my lord.”

Chapter 28 summary: Taral is eventually summoned to see the queen of these lands. However, she’s not exactly the most diplomatic, and goes well out of her way to insult how much of an isolated backwater that Taral’s kingdom is. That the people who live there are naive to the point of stupidity. Again, not exactly the most diplomatic. And the only reason why she gets away with it is because Taral’s kingdom is desperate for supplies from literally anywhere. Which I’m pretty sure that the queen knows, so that makes her actions even more shitty. Anyway, in the end, Poplar tells Taral that he knows that Sejun only carried the letter to the shop keeper. But that he refuses to give up the name of the person who gave him the letter. The queen asks that Taral write Sejun a letter to give up this person. Sejun, this absolute fucking moron, reads the letter and questions the authenticity of the entire thing. He reluctantly gives up the name… Which I’d like to remind everybody was the asshole who had insulted Sejun’s kingdom and told them to stay the fuck out of political matters that they had no business in. Why the hell Sejun is protecting him is beyond me, but whatever. He eventually does give up this info, and then begs Poplar to release him. Poplar is like “We’ll see.” Fucking assholes.

Hire me to fix your book! Copyediting, proofreading, developmental editing, sarcastic editing, and more! 16 years of book-editing experience. Message me anywhere for pricing and further details.

[percontaion-points]

Second Marriage chapters 25 & 26

Click here for the rest of the series!

Click to see the rest of the snark & image descriptions

Chapter 25

He turned to close the door behind him. The guards surrounded him as they marched off down the hall.

Chapter 25 summary: While Taral is in these deadly boring meetings all day, Sejun is basically left to his own devices. He eventually goes with a couple of people to a bookstore. But when they’re in the actual shop, Sejun is accosted by some rando. The guy is upset that the delegation from Sejun’s kingdom would have come there, and throws around all of these harsh accusations and threats. Ones Sejun obviously doesn’t like. He tries to tell this guy that he’s only the husband of the prince from his kingdom, that he’s not in these meets, as indicated by the fact that he’s at a bookstore rather than at said meetings. The friend Sejun went to the shop with laughs off his other friend’s behaviour, and insists that the friend is simply a “passionate patriot”. As if that somehow excuses such rude behaviour. The friend then insists that he has to go right now, but begs for Sejun to please deliver a letter to so-and-so shopkeeper. Sejun knows who this is, since he’s visited her earlier, so he agrees to take the letter over. Once there, the woman accepts the letter, and invites Sejun to stay for tea. Sejun later is reading in his room in the palace when guards show up and demand that Sejun come with them… either by walking or force. Uh-oh. Never agree to deliver letters after an unpleasant encounter like that. Never.

Chapter 26

No. That wasn’t entirely true. He did have one option left.

Chapter 26 summary: Taral goes back to his room, and doesn’t think that much of Sejun not being there. It’s a little odd that there’s a half-eaten meal sitting there, and a book lying open. But it’s not that odd. However, as the hours start to pass, and it gets dark, Taral starts to worry. He has difficulty communicating properly, but eventually learns that Sejun was taken by order of the king. That not even Taral can go see his husband without permission from the king. The next day, Taral tells all of this to his queen friend. She gets back to him and says that Sejun was arrested on charges of carrying a letter about anti-king sentiments to some sort of rebellion. That THEY know that Sejun is innocent and was simply misled by people he thought were being nice to him. However, the local king does not see it that way, and will continue to hold Sejun until he’s been questioned.

Hire me to fix your book! Copyediting, proofreading, developmental editing, sarcastic editing, and more! 16 years of book-editing experience. Message me anywhere for pricing and further details.

[percontaion-points]

Second Marriage chapters 23 & 24

Click here for the rest of the series!

Click to see the rest of the snark & image descriptions

Chapter 23

Taral brought Sejun’s hand to his mouth and kissed the bridge of his knuckles, the thin skin there and the bone beneath. His husband.

Chapter 23 summary: Taral’s heat continues, and Sejun takes care of him. When it’s over, some queen comes to visit him to tell him about what he’s missed. Apparently, not much. Things are pretty much in the same state as when Taral went into seclusion. They then start talking politics. But please read my comments about the previous chapters for my thoughts about it. Even Horace is taking a holiday from this nonsense.

Chapter 24

Taral kissed him again. “Very nice. Let’s sleep.”

Chapter 24 summary: They Faff About: Dinner Party Edition! I’m so fucking bored with this. Why is this dragging on for so long? When Taral and Sejun get back from the party, they bang.

Hire me to fix your book! Copyediting, proofreading, developmental editing, sarcastic editing, and more! 16 years of book-editing experience. Message me anywhere for pricing and further details.

[percontaion-points]

Second Marriage chapters 21 & 22

Click here for the rest of the series!

Click to see the rest of the snark & image descriptions

Chapter 21

Beside him, Sejun sighed in his sleep. Taral pressed a kiss to Sejun’s shoulder and drew the blanket up over them both.

Chapter 21 summary: Sejun goes to a welcome party for all of the visiting dignitaries. Although Taral is supposed to be the actual visiting royal here, he begs off and only sends Sejun. At the party, Sejun is embarrassed when he realised that Jaysha is there. Why he’s surprised is beyond me. He wants to avoid him, but decides to be mature about the situation. So he goes over and wishes Jaysha a pleasant evening. However, as he leaves, Jaysha comes back over and says that he’s happy that Taral is in a successful marriage. The entire thing fills Sejun with so much rage, although it’s more about “how dare he say stuff like that years after he broke Taral’s heart.” Sejun later goes back to his room, where he tells Taral what happened. But Taral is certain that Jaysha meant nothing by any of what he said. That what happened was a long time ago. Taral also says that his heat is late. When Sejun asks if it’s possible that he’s pregnant, Taral says maybe. But in the same breath, also says that it might be the stress of travel and being in this delegation.

Chapter 22

Taral hadn’t expected to find Chedi quite so foreign.

Goes to a foreign country “Why are things so foreign here?”

“How was my performance?” Sejun asked. “I hope you’ll flatter me.” “Magnificent,” Taral said.

Chapter 22 summary: They negotiations begin, but they go nowhere fast. Mainly, Taral is bored out of his mind over the entire thing. As he looks around the room, he realises that he’s not the only one who’s bored out of his mind. After the second day of meetings wraps up, he goes out into the city for a change of pace. He ends up in a bookstore, and buys a book for Sejun, who can read the language but not speak it. Taral can’t speak or read anything. However, once back, he’s embarrassed when Sejun tells him that the book is erotica. But that he’ll treasure it anyway. The next morning, Taral feels weird. He thinks that it’s his heat finally coming on, and tells Sejun as much. He begs to be held, and then begs for sex.

Hire me to fix your book! Copyediting, proofreading, developmental editing, sarcastic editing, and more! 16 years of book-editing experience. Message me anywhere for pricing and further details.

[percontaion-points]

Second Marriage chapters 19 & 20

Click here for the rest of the series!

Click to see the rest of the snark & image descriptions

Chapter 19

Simra smiled. “Then we will make a plan.”

Chapter 19 summary: Taral goes off one morning to meet up with a penpal who lives in the city. She runs a shop, and they talk some about her various shipments and such. She also talks about the political climate, and how people think that the king should have done more to end the war a lot sooner. I cannot begin to explain to you how little that I care about any of this. I wish that the book would get back to banging, since it’s the only thing of actual interest anymore.

Chapter 20

“As long as you don’t fall in love with some handsome Chedai courtier and abandon me to my fate,” Taral said. When Sejun didn’t laugh, he winced. “Never mind. Let me pour you some more tea.”

Chapter 20 summary: The enemy delegation shows up to sign the peace treaty. The book then will not shut up about the various political movings of such and such kingdom… But again: these names mean nothing to the reader. I wish that this book would simply end so that we could be done with this. This is so fucking BORING. Sejun had gone off that morning to find a bookshop. But he comes back now, disappointed that he got lost and couldn’t find the shop. Again, I cannot begin to explain to you how little that I actually care about any of this. There’s no chemistry between the two characters, there’s nothing driving them. They’re simply faffing about for no real reason. Plot? What plot? This is worse than any slice of life that I’ve read.

Hire me to fix your book! Copyediting, proofreading, developmental editing, sarcastic editing, and more! 16 years of book-editing experience. Message me anywhere for pricing and further details.

[percontaion-points]

Second Marriage chapters 17 & 18

Click here for the rest of the series!

Click to see the rest of the snark & image descriptions

Chapter 17

“Excuse me?” “Not to mention how you lied to me about all of it for weeks. Do you think I’m blind to your feelings as you pretend to be to mine? I wish I could be.” Sejun rubbed at his eyes. “I know you’ll behave honorably. That isn’t my concern.”

We are in the downward half of this book… And I deadass do not give a shit about their relationship. Which again… It makes me feel bad because I enjoyed reading the first two books in this series. But this one fell really flat. And I seriously don’t know why.

Taral clasped Sejun’s hand, the servant bowed again, and they walked together into the palace of the Chedai king.

Chapter 17 summary: To their dismay, Jaysha is in the group that’s going to the other kingdom. Although they try to put it behind them, to act like mature adults in the situation… Taral and Sejun can’t help but pick a fight over the entire thing. It’s so freaking exhausting. They aren’t actually in love; that’s the sex and the bond talking. Stop acting like it’s upsetting for a man 10 years your senior to have a history! They continue to travel, and reach the Chedai palace by the end of the chapter.

Chapter 18

He could enjoy this time with Sejun away from the everyday distractions of life in Tadasho. If he was of no use to Feba, so be it.

Chapter 18 summary: Now in the other country’s palace, Sejun doesn’t exactly have a whole lot to do. Taral comes in and starts explaining who is there, and who has yet to show up. Again, these country/kingdom names mean nothing to the readers, so this is an effort in futility for the readers. Since they have time to kill, they decide to bang. It’s the first time that they’ve been together physically since they left, claiming that they would have had a difficult time keeping quiet. Later, they go to some sort of state dinner. However, most of it is Sejun asking “What’s happening? Now what’s happening? What are they doing now?” I don’t care.

Hire me to fix your book! Copyediting, proofreading, developmental editing, sarcastic editing, and more! 16 years of book-editing experience. Message me anywhere for pricing and further details.

[percontaion-points]

Second Marriage chapters 15 & 16

Click here for the rest of the series!

Click to see the rest of the snark & image descriptions

Chapter 15

“Dancing, I hope,” Sejun said, and though a shadow of worry lingered around his eyes, he did manage a smile.

Chapter 15 summary: Despite the fact that Taral had already decided that he would travel to the other kingdom to help broker the peace treaty and to open up trade channels, he gets a second message begging for his sister to send a delegation out. Taral knows that he has to go, that it’s time that the mountain kingdoms stop hiding away all the time. They start out with only a few people from Taral’s kingdom. However, their plan is to collect other delegations from the other mountain kingdoms and end up in the sea city with a huge group. But, Taral is thrown when he ends up coming face to face with his ex. The entire thing is awkward, although he’s quick to reassure Sejun that their relationship ended a long time ago. They can all be adults about this.

Chapter 16

That was what a man would do.

Chapter 16 summary: The chapter opens with a lot of names being dropped, both of people and nations. However, we’re now 3 books into this series, and I can barely keep the names of the important characters straight. It’s harder for the countries… And those keep switching every freaking book, too! These are randomly dropped names, put halfway into the third and final book, only mentioned in passing. I don’t give a fuck. However, the main point of this chapter is showing how hurt that Sejun is by Taral coming face to face with his ex. Despite Taral insisting that he’s over it, it’s obvious through the bond that he isn’t. Sejun knows that he can never compete with that kind of a love… Not one that has withstood years. He wants to leave the caravan and return home, rejected. But knows that he can’t even do that much. Taral comes into the room, where he tries to comfort Sejun. He tops Sejun for once. And again, Sejun knows that he has to man up and deal with this, even though it sucks.

Hire me to fix your book! Copyediting, proofreading, developmental editing, sarcastic editing, and more! 16 years of book-editing experience. Message me anywhere for pricing and further details.