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[peripheryofreality]

Ayo, here we go!

My day 1 of day 4 of Promptober 2023!

Today's prompt is "long drive".

Long Drives

Radio

soft singing, signs pass

Passing lights, a small show.

Yawn. Face pressed against glass.

The book in hand slips... so slow

I decided to try out a poem style called Bob and Wheel, it's a 5 line poem, ababa rhyming scheme with 2-3 syllables in line 1, then 6 syllables for the rest.

When I thought about "long drives" all I could think of is falling asleep in the back of my parents car after visiting family, and the surrealism of it all.

Hope you enjoyed!

[peripheryofreality]

Let's try this out! I'm 3 days late, feverish, and mentally/physically/emotionally/spiritually exhausted but let's do some writing!

I'm going to give myself some guidelines: Things that are okay:

Short stories

Micro fiction

Incomplete stories

Poems

Just including the vibe or idea

Bad grammar and spelling

Skipping a day

Writing something completely different

Trying

Things that are not okay

Beating myself up for skipping a day

Beating myself up in general

PROMPTOBER '23

hello, hello!! since october is right around the corner, i thought it would be fun to release a list of autumn/spooky themed prompts for people to use. i'm going to try my best to do them all but we will see how it goes!

i'm releasing this well in advance so people have time to decide which ones they want to do and plan + write them etc. anyway, i hope you guys participate and i would absolutely love to see your fics so pls tag #promptober75 if you use these <33

typed list of prompts under the cut

1] meet cute 2] apple cider 3] scary movies 4] long drive 5] elope with me 6] by the fireplace 7] autumn mornings 8] stress relief 9] sick days 10] falling for you 11] sweet touches 12] baking autumn treats 13] leaves fallen sparse 14] i wanna marry you 15] sneaking out 16] free space 17] stealing sweaters 18] in front of a mirror 19] hot chocolate 20] stay, stay, stay... 21] the perfect pumpkin 22] bonfires 23] pranks 24] candlelight 25] lights out 26] all too well 27] ghosts 28] black cat 29] begin again 30] costumes 31] halloween

[peripheryofreality]

A trial in pantoum poems

Hello hello!

As part of my second poetry workshop that I attended, we also wrote a pantoum poem, so here's my draft!

Luckily we were given a handy worksheet to keep track of the repeating lines! Hope you enjoy it!

Water For All Around

A pitcher is not a cup A pitcher is seemingly endless, it has no needs or wants. A cup does not give, it cannot share. Often mistaken, but the pitcher never falls or fails.

A pitcher is seemingly endless, it has no needs or wants. The cup is often afraid, unsure, insecure and scared. Often mistaken, but the pitcher never falls or fails. The pitcher exists for the cup, the cup for its own.

The cup is often afraid, unsure, insecure and scared. The cup takes and takes and takes with no concern for the pitcher. The pitcher exists for the cup, the cup for its own. The pitcher is silent, for it has no voice.

The cup takes and takes and takes with no concern for the pitcher. A cup does not give, it cannot share. The pitcher is silent, for it has no voice. A pitcher is not a cup.

-------- I hope you all enjoyed this pantoum! I'd love to hear your thoughts and feelings if you have any. I hope it made you feel something- no matter how big or small. Thank you all for sharing in this experience with me!

[peripheryofreality]

Some haikus

I went to a workshop for writing poetry, a different one from last year, and I wrote some more poems.

Here are the haikus I wrote today. Hope you enjoy!

Untitled Black and white thoughts?- Don't do that, it's bad. Be like us. But... I'm autistic... I'm bad?

Version 2 of Untitled Bad- black and white thoughts, routine, rules, being the same. All the things I need. I don't know exactly how I feel about these but it was a fun exercise to participate in! Everyone had a loud inhale (exhale?) of breath after I finished, so I think that means they liked them? At the very least, they were impactful! And it felt good to get the words out!

We all wrote our thoughts and feelings for 5-8 minutes, then we made different poems from them. I'll post the other poem somewhere else.

Thanks for reading! I hope you enjoyed it, or at least felt something.

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Quick little WIP from my work conference about the power of poetry. I'm not sure if I'll edit it anymore or what but I wanted to share what I have so far

Mother

Mother? Is that you with your blue veil and empty stare?

Mother? Are you my mother? No, you're much too kind.

Mother: the first sin, the first lie, the first violator.

A man unborn from a mother shall be king, while I hide from the anger and the wires.

Comfort, concern and love are found elsewhere.

Motherless? No, not I.

The earth, the water and trees provide shelter and food.

The people around me love, support, guide and nurture me.

Mother? Not I.

Not today.

[peripheryofreality]

Chichi stirred slowly out of her deep sleep. She opened her eyes for a second before closing them again. She reached out and found the coarse hair of one of her kids. She ran her fingers through their short hair, realizing that it was Tad. She felt around the rest of the bed, ignoring the childish groans of Tad as she felt around the rest of the bed, it was empty. 

Chichi rolled over, and scooped her son up in her arms. Tad groaned more. 

“Mama. It’s too early, ” he moaned. Chichi nodded her head and kissed Tad on the forehead. 

“Shh,” she whispered, keeping her eyes closed. Chichi grabbed the blanket and made sure that they were both covered. Tad groaned a little bit more and rolled over so that he could hug her. He reached out and put a hand on his mom’s cheek, his small fingers pressing into her skin. Chichi smiled and yawned, fighting between opening her eyes and falling back asleep. 

After a few moments she heard the door crack open. 

“Daddy, why aren’t they awake yet?” Zumi whispered. 

“Mom and Tad like to sleep in."

“But why aren’t they awake like us?” Zumi whispered. Chichi could hear that they were slowly making their way towards them. Chichi felt the weight on the bed shift and felt Conan’s hand softly rubbing her back. A second later she felt her daughter crawling on top of her, laying her head down on Chichi’s shoulder. 

“Mommy,” Zumi sang softly, “mommy wake up. Tad, come play with me.”. 

Tad grumbled and buried his face into her shoulder. Chichi giggled softly as she opened her eyes again. She wrapped an arm around her daughter and turned over quickly, holding one child in each arm. Zumi cheered as Tad groaned more. 

“Morning, dear.” Conan mumbled, kissing his wife on the forehead. Chichi smiled and looked up at him.

“Morning, sweetie,” she mumbled.

“Time to wake up.” he reached forward and gently brushed Chichi’s bangs out of her eyes. Chichi groaned. 

“Do we have to?” she asked as Zumi wiggled around in her arms. Zumi reached across her mom’s body and smacked Tad’s head.

“WAKE UP, TAD!” Zumi screamed. All at once everyone reacted. 

Tad screamed angrily and doubled his efforts in burying his face in his mom’s side while sobbing. Zumi laughed maniacally, ignoring her parents' disapproving words of “no Zumi, that’s not nice” and “Really Zumi?”. 

Chichi grabbed the back of Zumi’s shirt and pulled her away, handing her to Conan. He held her up by her sides at arms length, staring directly at her without blinking. Zumi’s laughter slowly died down as her dad continued to just stare at her. 

Chichi sighed and sat up, pulling Tad into a hug. He wrapped his small arms around her neck and clung to her.

“Shh, shh. It’s okay, sweetie.” Chichi whispered to Tad, rocking him back and forth. Chichi sighed, and rubbed her eyes with one hand as Tad continued to softly scream and cry.

“I hate her! She’s so mean!” Tad cried. 

“No, no, you don’t hate your sister. She’s just a morning person,” Chichi rocked her son back and forth while Zumi stared back at her father. “She didn’t mean to hurt you… She loves you, Tad, even though she doesn't show it well…. it’s okay, sweetie.” Chichi mumbled as she hugged him. 

“You done?” Conan said calmly to Zumi. She nodded her head. “You know you can’t hit your brother.” Zumi nodded her head softly, looking down. “Eyes up here, Zumi.” She kept her head bowed but raised her eyes to look up at her dad. “You act like an as- like a brat, you face the consequences; you know the rules."

“Daddy, I didn’t mean to hit Tad, I just got excited,” she mumbled, raising her head sheepishly to meet his eyes. 

“Uh huh.” Conan finally allowed himself to blink as Tad stopped crying. “You have to apologize to your mom and brother for rudely waking them up now-”

“But dad!”

“No buts. Apologize to them both. You said you’d behave if I let you help me wake them up and you didn’t. Apologize.” 

Zumi stuck her bottom lip out and lowered her head, slowly raising her eyes to her dad. As if on cue, her eyes watered. 

Conan took a deep breath to calm himself down. “Nice try. That probably might’ve even worked on someone else. Ready to apologize?”

Zumi snapped her face out of her puppy dog attempt and rolled her eyes. 

“I mean, I guess I can always give Tad your share of hot chocolate if you want to keep being a brat,” Conan said. Tad immediately lifted his head off his mom’s shoulders, all signs of distress immediately nonexistent on his dry face. 

“Hot chocolate?” he asked. 

“Yup, looks like you’re getting extra,” Conan replied. 

“Nice,” Tad whispered. Zumi groaned and smacked her fists against her legs in anger, stomping in the air as her own temper started to rise.

“Okay, fine, fine. Dad, I'll say sorry!” She waved her arms around and Conan set her down on the bed. Zumi crawled her way over to her mom first and gave her a big hug. “I’m sorry, mommy!” Zumi let go and hugged Tad. “I’m sorry I hit you, Tad! I love you, you stupid-head”

Tad tried to push her off but caught sight of his father’s glare before he finally accepted it and hugged her back. 

“I love you too, you jerkface,” Tad said. Chichi sighed and leaned backwards, resisting the urge to yawn. 

“Nope, wake up.” Conan said, leaning forward to kiss his wife, and put a hand on her back to stop her from laying back down. 

“Is there really hot chocolate?” Chichi whispered, as her children playfully hugged and squeezed each other tightly, cheeks pressed against one another in competition. 

“Of course. ” Conan almost looked offended that Chichi would even bother asking. He reached into his coat pocket and pulled out a thermos for her. Chichi reached for it but he immediately pulled it away. “Nu-uh. Out of bed, first.”

Chichi groaned and picked up her kids, one in each arm before standing up. She stood up and roared loudly. Her kids squealed with joy as Chichi stomped out of the room with Conan following closely behind.

[peripheryofreality]

The writer's blessing:

May you write 1,500 words with ease. May your characters be lively and not cardboard. May you need little editing. May your muse visit you as soon as you sit. May the Internet not distract you much. May your phone lie dormant while you write.

[peripheryofreality]

First story up on Wattpad

Hi again! In case you missed it, I have a Wattpad now! I just published both parts of my young Tad and Zumi story over there! Feel free to give it a read! 

Description:  A young Tad and Zumi can't help but overhear their parents fighting and try to understand why their parents are arguing so much. Tad and Zumi each have their own way of dealing with the constant fighting but at a certain point, one of them has to act, right? This is a slice of life into the early years of Tad and Zumi and their parents, Chichi and Conan.

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Tad and Zumi, pt 2. Zumi runs away

Zumi knew, thanks to eavesdropping on her dad’s work conversations, that most runaway kids ran to familiar places- a park, their school or their friends' houses. She knew to avoid those places until she was ready to be found. Zumi ran down the street as fast as she could. She briefly considered going to see Penni or Uncle D but knew that they’d rat her out immediately. Zumi ran to a bus stop and hopped on; shoving money from Tad’s sweatshirt pocket into the machine. She made her way to a seat a couple rows from the front and exhaled harshly. She pushed her forehead against the window. If Tad stalled for long enough, then they wouldn’t realize she was able to catch the bus. She glanced at the bus number before reaching into her back pocket to realize her phone wasn’t there. On one hand, good because they couldn't track her; on the other, she’d be bored without her phone and she couldn’t look up the bus schedule without it. 

Zumi pinched her thighs to stay alert and to try to hide the hyperventilating that fought its way to build back up. Where to go? She couldn’t go to the gym, they would need her ID for that. Uncle D and Uncle Sev would rat her out. She’d make her way back home eventually, she just needed time to think, process, and come up with a plan. She could stop her parents from divorcing, she could and would fix this; it wouldn't be her fault that they broke up. The chiming of the bus announced the next stop at a Walmart. Zumi sighed and rang the bell. She got off and walked up the hill towards the supermarket. It was a large building, she could walk around and think as long as she needed to, at least until she thought of a plan. 

She pulled her hood off as she entered- she didn’t need to worry about security footage this early in leaving home, and she’d raise more suspicions with it on. Zumi walked up and down the aisles, circuiting the store a few times. She paused on her third round at the electronic aisle and picked up the controller to the latest game. Tad really wanted to play this game, he was looking forward to its release.

Zumi sighed and made her way towards the exit of the store. If she started walking home now, by the time she got there, she’d probably have a plan of how to fix her parents’ marriage. Zumi walked towards the busy street and kept her head down as she started her trek home. It was pitch black outside except for the stars that twinkled above. 

“Okay, we’re gonna walk home,” she said out loud to herself, “and we’re gonna solve everything on this walk. Okay?” Zumi shivered a little as she approached the first intersection. A man with a shopping cart was walking towards her. He looked at her a little apprehensively. As she approached he stopped walking. 

“You okay, kid?” he asked. 

Zumi considered not responding but she settled for nodding her head. 

“You be safe out there,” the man said as he continued on his way. 

Zumi walked for at least twenty more minutes before she realized that she wasn’t entirely sure if she was heading the right way. She looked around and realized that all busy streets looked the same at night. 

“Crap. Crap,” she muttered. She looked up at the stars and quickly located the big dipper then the north star. “I went to Walmart, and I think that’s south? So go north, towards the star.” she shivered a little as she nodded her head. “It’s an adventure. It’ll be fine.”

Zumi kept walking with her arms crossed, occasionally pinching her upper arms so she wouldn't lose feeling in her arms from the cold. Zumi had long ago pulled her hood up for the additional warmth and was frantically looking around for any familiar landmarks. 

Zumi heard the screeching of tires but ignored it as she kept walking. 

“Zumi! Zumi!” she heard someone running towards her before she felt a pair of arms turn her around. Her dad was staring at her frantically. “Oh thank the gods” he pulled her in tightly before she could do anything. She felt him shaking softly and realized that he was crying. 

“Dad, get off, I’m fine, I’m fine.” she felt herself start to hyperventilate as she started crying too. Zumi told herself to push the panic down as she tried to push him away but he wasn’t budging. “Dad, I’m fine. I figured it out, I can fix everything!” She tried to push down her rising panic. He pulled away and kissed her forehead and cheeks a few times. Zumi felt embarrassed as her dad showed her an obscene amount of PDA. “Dad, stop it, stop it”

“Zumi, I was worried sick about you. Where have you been?” He pulled apart and looked her in the eyes. Zumi shoved an imaginary lid on the panic that threatened to boil over, and instead tried to meet his stare. 

“Dad, that's not important. I can save your and mom’s marriage! I figured it out!” Zumi ignored the crack in her voice and the tears that streamed down her face. 

“Zumi.” Conan gave her a gentle squeeze. “Your job isn’t to fix things for us.”

“But, but I know it’s my fault. It’s okay!- I, I know how to fix it!” Zumi stammered. Conan sighed and stood up, picking up Zumi as if she were still a toddler and not a gangly preteen. He walked back over to a car with its hazards on. 

“Dad-” Zumi started.

“Shh. It’s okay, we’ll talk when we get home, I promise.” He set her down and gently guided her into the car, scooting in the backseat with her. Zumi glanced up and saw her Uncle D at the wheel. He nodded his head at them. Conan clicked her seatbelt in place and his own, wrapping an arm around Zumi and pulling her close. Zumi wiggled a bit, fighting the urge to get away from him so he’d listen to her but also wanting to be near him for his warmth. 

“Can you turn the heat up?” Conan asked, pulling his scarf off and then his jacket. He draped his coat over Zumi’s body like a blanket and carefully wrapped the scarf around her neck. 

Damien grunted before turning the heat up. “Do you want me to call her or you want to?” he asked. Conan already had his phone in his hand, clicking on Chichi’s name. He rubbed Zumi’s arm up and down as he kept her close to his body. 

“I can. Thanks”

Damien just grunted in response. He glanced at Zumi in the back seat, and all Zumi could do was stare back at him.

“You worried a lot of people,” he said simply.

“I was just-” she started but Daimen cut her off.

“A word of advice. Listen. Don’t talk.” He said before pulling back into the street. 

“Dad?” Zumi glanced at her dad but he just shook his head no at her.

“Honey?” he started. “Yeah, I found her, we got her. We’re on our way. Is Tad- okay. Good. I love you too”. He hung up and leaned back into his seat. 

“Dad.” Zumi said again. She reached a hand out and poked him in the cheek. She wasn’t entirely sure what was going on. Why did he tell mom that he loved her? Weren’t they divorcing? Was this one of those mature adult things? “Dad, you told mom that you love her?” 

Conan just nodded his head, wincing a little. 

“But dad-”

Conan cut her off. “Honey. Please, wait till we’re home.”

“But dad,”

“Izumi” Zumi shut her mouth at the use of her full name. “When. We’re. Home”. 

Zumi lowered her eyes and tried to ignore the “I-told-you-so” attitude coming from her uncle. 

The twenty minute ride home was awkward and silent. Conan answered a few calls from various people. “No, we found her. Yes, she’s safe. Thank you” and other short answers. Zumi couldn’t help but start to feel sleepy as soft music filled her ears.

She found herself awake as Conan moved her. She opened her eyes to find that he was carrying her again and the sun was beginning to rise. 

“Thank you again, Damien,” her dad said. 

“Glad the brat is home.” Damien responded with an exhausted release of air. “Let us know if we can help.”

“I will. Thanks.” 

Conan walked up the front door, and watched as Chichi threw open the door and ran to meet them. She kissed Conan and cried onto his shoulder and Zumi’s. 

“‘M awake” Zumi mumbled as her mom carefully picked her up into her own arms. “Ma’. I need to tell you and Da’ something.”

“She’s insisting that she needs to tell us something” Conan said as he wrapped an arm around his wife and walked inside with them. Conan glanced at Tad asleep on the couch next to his grandma who was knitting. She nodded her head at Conan and he returned it, noting the look of relief on her face when she saw Zumi. 

“Zumi, whatever it is, it can wait until the morning.” Chichi said, having practiced the words with her mom all night. 

“No, no it can’t.” She lifted her head away from her mom’s shoulder. 

Conan sighed and walked over to Tad, picking him up like a doll. Byeol reached out and gently squeezed Conan’s hand. Conan sighed but nodded his head. 

“You can take one of the kids’ rooms tonight, if you want. We’ll take you home in the morning if that’s okay,” Conan said. 

Byeol nodded her head and set her work down in a basket. She spoke softly and slowly to Conan. “Conan. She’s acting like Chichi did at that age…-” Conan opened his mouth but closed it when he saw that Byeol wasn’t done talking. “You might have to hear her out before she’s ready to listen.” Conan closed his eyes tightly for a moment before opening them. He nodded his head, finally understanding what she was hinting at. 

“Thank you, Ma”

Chichi and Conan carried their sleepy and exhausted children up. 

“Mom, dad, listen to me, please.” Zumi started again as Conan closed the door to his and Chichi’s room. Conan gently laid Tad down, somewhat surprised that he woke up enough to scoot further into the bed. Chichi set down Zumi who immediately moved to sit on her knees on the bed. “Guys, please don’t divorce, I promise I can fix my grades, and Tad will too- and” Zumi ignored the tears running down her face and the feeling of Tad moving behind her. Tad reached over and tried to grab her hand but she quickly pulled it away. “And then, Tad and I can go to grandma’s for a bit and you guys can have time alone and-” Zumi trailed off as Chichi started to move.

Chichi moved in front of Zumi slowly and got down on her knees in front of her daughter. Chichi put both hands on her daughter’s shoulders and looked her in the eye. Zumi watched her mom intently, trying to figure out what she was doing. Conan gently lowered down too, placing a hand on both his children’s knees. Chichi turned her head to the side, blinked and then turned her head to the other side and repeated the blink. Zumi repeated the second head tilt and blink. Chichi took a deep breath in and released it slowly, Zumi subconsciously repeating the motion. Tad glanced at his dad in confusion but only received a strained and exhausted smile back. 

“Zumi,” Chichi started. “We love you.”

“But mom-”

“We’re not divorcing. We’re not separating” 

“Because my idea-”

“Because we love each other. We never were planning on separating.”

“But people don’t plan-”

“Shhh” Chichi softly shushed Zumi. “It’s okay, baby. It’s okay. You’re home and you’re safe now.”

“But-”

Chichi shook her head no. Conan cleared his throat, taking turns looking at both children in their eyes. 

“Your mother and I love each other. We’re sorry for making you guys worry. We’re not breaking up, we were just fighting.” Conan gently raised his voice to speak over Zumi’s ‘but’s. “And we weren’t fighting because, or about you two. I promise you two had nothing to do with our arguments.” He glanced at Chichi who gave him a soft smile. “It was about something that happened a long-long time ago. We’re working through it.”

Chichi spoke over Zumi’s ‘but’ this time, “-and, it’s not either of your jobs to fix our relationship. You two are the kids and we-we’re all gonna have a long talk about boundaries later, and uh, probably more stuff. And not just once, but uh, many times. Because we- we can’t fix this in one talk.”

Zumi felt herself start to hyperventilate again, she glanced at Tad who just sleepily shrugged his shoulders. 

Zumi mouthed to Tad “can you tell them?”. Tad squinted at her to try to see what she was saying but without his glasses it was useless. He responded by shrugged his shoulders again sleepily, 

“Maybe in the mornin’, Zooms.” he said. 

“But, I’m not tired, I- I have to fix-” Chichi dove in for a hug, holding Zumi close. 

The tears finally escaped and Zumi started crying. Chichi squeezed her daughter closer to her. Zumi started apologizing over and over again, not even hearing her mom tell her that it was okay and that she loved her.

 After a while, Chichi carried her over to the old rocker that she used to hold the twins in when they were babies. Conan opened the window for them and crawled in bed next to Tad, wrapping his arm around him, letting Tad lean against his shoulder. Chichi hummed a song to Zumi softly as she rocked back and forth with Zumi in her arms. After almost twenty minutes, Zumi had fallen asleep, as had Tad. Chichi smiled at Conan who sleepily smiled back.

“You need help?” Conan asked, looking down and smiling at Tad asleep next to him. Chichi smiled but shook her head no before slowly nodding her head yes. 

Conan carefully slid out of bed, trying not to move Tad too much, and made his way to her. He closed the window and curtains- blocking out the sunlight. Chichi carried Zumi back to bed and gently set her down next to Tad. Both parents crawled into bed, the night’s adrenaline finally wearing out.

Tad rolled over to face his father but reached a hand behind him to grip Zumi’s. Conan rolled over on his side and reached his hand towards Chichi. She met him in the middle and they held hands over their sleeping kids. 

“I do love you,” Chichi whispered.

“I love you too,” Conan replied, stifling a yawn. 

[peripheryofreality]

Check out my profile on Wattpad, I'm https://www.wattpad.com/RebeccaCanWrite?utm_source=web&utm_medium=tumblr&utm_content=share_profile Hi, welcome to my writing blog! I'm a fat, bi woman living in the PNW who loves stories.

[peripheryofreality]

Self-published author of Love Confessions: An Anthology < Click here to read > .

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REBLOG IF IT'S OKAY FOR ME TO BOTHER YOU IF YOU'RE MY MUTUAL

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i love reading my own writing this bitch would be my favorite writer if he ever managed to write

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#feeling called out

Writer Bingo

What’s your final score? 👀

[peripheryofreality]

Coffee Shop AU Masterpost

Coffee Prompts

Coffee Shop AUs

Coffee Shop Prompts

How to create a coffee shop atmosphere

If you like my blog and want to support me, you can buy me a coffee or become a member! And check out my Instagram! 🥰

[peripheryofreality]

This is all going to read sarcastically but I swear this is all very literal. I’m just feeling snarky as I write this.

I’m really loving the feeling of shouting into a void and expecting an answer. Yet another reason why books and works of fiction are better than reality. The void often shouts back, and the void is usually more symbolic than literal in works of fiction.

Maybe one day I’ll look back at this and marvel at this experience but until then, the novelty is fun and I’m going to enjoy it all that I can.

[peripheryofreality]

Tad and Zumi

Zumi opened her door and ran across the hall to her brother’s door. She opened it and quickly stepped inside as she heard her mom raise her voice even louder. 

“Tad.” she pressed her back against her brother’s door and closed it softly. He sighed and turned in his chair to look at her. He obviously couldn’t sleep either. He turned back to his laptop and saved his game before he released his breath loudly. 

“They never fight,” Zumi said as she locked his door. She walked over to the recliner in his room and sat down, pulling her legs in tight against her chest.

“I know,” he finally said. Tad pushed his glasses up to rub his eyes.

“They’ve been at it for over an hour,” Zumi said. Tad nodded his head and moved over to his bed, laying down on his back and staring at the ceiling. 

“They’ve gotta know that they woke us up, right?”

“Were you even asleep?” Zumi responded, glancing at his computer. Tad shook his head no, muttering a soft “not really” in response. 

They both winced as they heard their dad yell back. “You know that’s not what I meant! It was years ago!”

“Then why didn’t you ever bring it up?” Chichi screamed. Both kids winced again when they heard something shatter. “Fuck!” their mom yelled. 

“Accident or purpose?” Tad asked Zumi. Zumi turned her head to the side, trying to decipher any yelling. 

“I think she got hurt. Doesn’t sound like she threw anything and dad’s not telling her to watch it.” 

Zumi buried her head in her arms.

“They’re probably gonna be okay, right?” Tad asked, turning his head to see Zumi start to shake. He quickly rolled over to his side and jumped to his feet, tentatively placing an arm around Zumi’s shoulders. “Hey, hey, hey, what’s wrong?” he asked. 

Zumi looked up at him, tears streaming down her face as she shook from sobbing. She moved her body to bury her face in Tad’s chest. “Do you think they’re gonna get divorced? They’ve been fighting for ever.” 

Tad awkwardly patted her back, ignoring his own tears that threatened to break free. “What? No. No way, it’s only been a few hours, it’ll-they’ll be fine”

Zumi shook her head no. “No, it’s been longer. It’s been a few weeks- ever since report cards came back.”

“What?” Tad interrupted her. Tad tried to remember when report cards came in, he knew he didn’t do well but they hadn’t said anything to him directly about being disappointed. His dad frowned and his mom seemed fine but they hadn’t said anything. 

“I think, I think they’re fighting cuz I’m failing” Zumi whispered. Tad shook his head no.

“No, they wouldn’t fight over something like that… and besides, I don’t think they’d fight over just you failing.” Tad tried to hide the shame he felt from hiding the fact that he was also on the verge of failing a few classes. 

“But we’re both failing” Zumi said, eyes widening. “What if they’re fighting cuz dad knows I’m dumb and he doesn’t think I’m his kid, and maybe mom cheated and maybe dad cheated too and-” Zumi started hyperventilating as she continued to speak, her pupils growing large with each hypothetical. Tad lightly shook her shoulders. 

“Zooms, snap out of it.” He hugged her tightly as she started crying again. Tad wasn’t sure if anything she said could be true but at the moment he didn’t care. He hugged her tightly as she cried on him. 

After a few seconds an attempt at a light knock came from his door.

“Tad, Zumi, are you in there?” it was his dad’s voice. Zumi pulled away and shook her head no to Tad. 

“Uh, just me, dad.” Tad said, swallowing hard. “Kinda in the middle of something”

“Nice try, Tad. We already checked your sister’s room,” His dad wiggled the doorknob. “Can you let us in?” 

“Us?” Tad asked as Zumi pushed away and grabbed a pair of Tad’s shoes. She shoved her feet in his boots, tucking the laces in. She wiggled into one of his sweatshirts as his dad responded. 

“Your mom and me”

Zumi muttered as she walked past Tad and pushed his window open. “They’re just gonna tell us they’re divorcing. Stall them for as long as you can” She crawled out the window and Tad stood up quickly to watch her crouch then walk along the roof before gripping the ledge and dropping down. She took off after that in a run in the opposite direction of their grandparents house. 

Tad looked around and tried to think of a way to stall. 

“Uh, what do you guys want?” 

“We know you guys are awake and heard the- the yelling,” his dad said. “Tad, what was that noise?”

“What noise?” Tad heard his mom whisper. 

Tad looked around his room and threw out a blanket on the roof. 

“The window, it’s stuffy in here.” He crawled out his window and dragged the blanket to the side of the window. He sat down carefully, planting his feet in front of him. 

“Tad, can we come in?” Conan paused a second before adding “Please”

Tad turned his upper body around to the window before raising his voice a little so they could hear him. “No.”

“Tad, we’re asking as a courtesy. We have a key, you know this”

“I don't really want to talk to you guys right now.” Tad rubbed his upper arms and tapped his foot on the roof. He didn’t know what Zumi wanted him to stall for or for how long, but he wasn’t about to start ratting her out now. 

“Tad, honey, please,” Chichi asked. Her voice cracked a little, Tad knew that meant she had been crying and yelling a lot. The desire to see his parents after their fight was starting to get to him. He carefully moved to lay down on the roof, mindful of keeping his knees bent and pushing up slightly. Tad threw an arm over his eyes. 

“Fine,” he yelled back. A second passed before the door opened. His mom came out the window first, carefully stepping around him to sit next to him. Conan came out next and sat next to him too. “Happy?” he mumbled, knowing that if what Zumi was saying was true, they were far from it. 

He felt his dad’s warm hand on his head before his mom gently placed a hand on his knee. 

“We’re not divorcing,” Conan said. Tad moved his arm to look at him apprehensively. “We’re not.” Conan added. 

“And, and we’re not, we’re not splitting up or taking a break or- or anything.” Chichi added nervously, stumbling over a few words where her voice didn’t crack.

“You guys have been fighting a lot,” Tad said. 

Conan let out a long breath and adjusted to lie down next to Tad. Chichi followed suit, wrapping her hand around Tad’s hand. 

“All couples fight, apparently,” Chichi said softly. 

“We wanted to apologize for keeping you both up and for worrying you,” Conan said. 

“We love you guys,” Chichi added, giving Tad’s hand a small squeeze. 

Tad sighed and tilted his head slightly to rest on his mom’s shoulder. 

“Are you guys fighting cuz we’re failing?” Tad asked. Conan let out a soft chortle. 

“Not even remotely,” 

“Is it our fault?” Tad asked. Chichi shook her head no. 

“Your dad, I uh” she paused. “Where’s your sister?” Chichi sat up and looked around. Conan quickly sat up too, standing up after a second. 

Tad stared at his knees intently. 

“Tad, where’s Zumi?” Conan asked. 

Tad stared at his knees more intently before mumbling “So, you guys are fighting over us?”

“Thaddeus. Where is your sister?” Chichi’s voice was raised slightly as she looked at him intently. 

“Uh. I told you she wasn’t in my room…” he said looking up, feigning innocence. 

“Your room. NOW” Chichi practically bellowed. Tad took his time getting up before his dad half picked him up and pushed him towards his room. They all crawled the window, practically pushing him into his room and on his bed. He sat down nervously. Chichi buried her face in her hands. She took a huge breath before looking back at Tad. 

“Where’s Zumi, Tad?” she asked. Conan looked around the room and picked up Zumi’s phone. 

“No idea,” Tad said truthfully. 

“What do you know?” Conan asked, unlocking Zumi’s phone. Tad frowned, he forgot that his dad had access to their phones. 

“A lot of things. Did you know that glass blowing was popularized by Dale Chihuly in-” Tad started before getting cut off by his dad. 

“About where your sister is.”

“Oh that.”

Chichi started looking around for her phone when Conan mumbled “left pocket”. Chichi pulled it out and started typing a number. 

“Start talking or you’re grounded for three days”

“Three days?” Tad asked.

Chichi piped up “A week. Elle, is that you?” she walked away from the room, her voice growing more hysterical by the second.

“Fine. I don’t know where she went!” Tad threw his hands up in the air. He pointed to his closet. “She started freaking out, grabbed my boots and sweater and said to stall you guys. She was convinced you guys were gonna tell us that you were breaking up and so she ran. Okay!?”

“Why did she think we were gonna break up?” Conan asked. Realization seemed to hit him as Tad responded.

“She said you guys’ve been fighting for weeks. She notices things, you know.” His dad sighed and sat down next to Tad. He put his head in his hands.

“I know. And I’m sorry.” he said. Tad didn’t bother hiding the shock on his face. His dad rarely apologized. 

Chichi came back in at this moment. “Barn’s gonna grab the truck and go looking for her”

Tad felt a pang of guilt as he realized his mom’s face was freshly red. 

“She’s probably fine,” he said.

“She’s twelve, how can she-” Chichi’s voice started rising before she took a deep breath and started over softly. “I’ll feel better when we find her. Conan?” His dad looked up. He patted Tad’s knee before standing up. He walked over to Chichi, and picked up one of her hands, Tad noticing that her right hand was wrapped up. 

“I’ll go looking for her,” he kissed Chichi on the cheek. “Do you wanna-” Conan paused “Would you like to come with or stay here and wait for her?”

Chichi leaned forward and Conan pressed his forehead against hers. “I’ll wait here with Tad in case she comes home.” 

“I’ll let you know if I hear anything, I promise” Conan pressed a kiss against her cheek before letting go of her hand. He turned to Tad. Tad shrank a little and looked down. “Tad,” he looked up to meet his dad’s eyes. “I love you. If you think of anything else, let your mom know, okay?” Tad nodded his head softly. 

“Yes, sir” he mumbled. 

“I’ll be back,” Conan said, quickly moving away from Tad’s door. 

“Am I grounded?” Tad asked, looking at his mom. Chichi sighed. “I don’t know, probably” she sat down on the bed next to him. Tad rested his head against his mom’s shoulder. She moved her head to rest on top of his. After a few moments she took a big breath. “Come on, we’re already up.” She stood up and grabbed his hand, gently pulling him into the living room. She sat him down on a kitchen stool before she plugged in her phone, turning the volume up. Chichi moved to the pantry and started pulling out items. 

“Tad, I need you to start measuring things while I make some phone calls.” 

Tad sighed but didn’t argue as he pulled the containers near him. “What’re we making?” he asked, almost afraid of the answer.

“Pelmeni and sfeeha” Chichi answered simply. She pushed some large mixing bowls next to Tad. Tad groaned, he’d rather be grounded than suffer his mom’s frantic stress baking.  

“And?” he asked as he pushed his glasses up to read the recipes his mom pushed in front of him. He groaned as she tapped it “Double it”.

Tad started measuring as he listened to his mom making calls, the phone balanced between her ear and shoulder. 

“Ma? Sorry it’s late, have you seen Zumi? No,” Chichi hiccuped a little as some tears slipped. “No, Ma. Couple hours. Yeah, Tad is here. He’s safe. Mhm. and sfeeha. Sure. Okay, I love you, Ma.” Chichi turned her head to Tad, switching to English for his benefit. “Grandma wants to talk to you, sweetie.” Tad sighed as he took the phone from her. Chichi started mixing the dry ingredients for the pelmeni. 

“Hi grandma,” Tad said slowly.

“Hi внук” Byeol said in English. Tad sighed in relief that she spoke in English. “Tad, be honest. Do you know where she is?” 

“No Baba.”

“Hm” his grandma took a few minutes to think. Tad started measuring water for his mom. “Okay sweetie. How’s your Ma’?” Tad glanced up at his mom, who was softly crying as she mixed the dough. 

“I don’t know, baba.” 

“I’ll be over soon. Pass the phone, sweetie.” Tad nodded his head and passed the phone back over to his mom.

“No ma, you don’t need to come over. Ma’, no. I’m fine, I’m fine. Conan’s looking for him. Da’ doesn’t need to go and look too, honestly, it’s fine-” his mom stopped talking and Chichi hiccuped slightly as she started crying harder. “Fine Ma’. See you soon”

Chichi put down the phone and wiped at her eyes with her sleeve. 

“Tad, sweetie. You can go watch TV on the couch, if you want” she said after a moment. 

Tad straightened up a bit. “Can I go to my room?” he asked hopefully. Chichi paused before shaking her head no. “No, I. I need to know that you’re safe and here.”

Tad slumped his shoulders but nodded his head. He glanced behind him and looked at the couch. He shook his head no and rested his head on his arms. 

“I’m sure dad’ll find her soon.”

Tad couldn’t remember when but at some point in the middle of the night, he fell asleep on the kitchen counter. He felt his mom carrying him over to the couch, and remembered slightly waking up as she tucked him in before gently pulling his glasses off and kissing him on the forehead.