petitewishes - Tumblr blog

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[petitewishes]

sorry mom, i got a small unpopular blog to run

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🍾🎉New Year’s eve thinspo 🎉🍾

Sorry it’s a day late 😂 it be like that sometimes. 🤷‍♀️

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This user has a triggering blog

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linenne: https://www.instagram.com/p/CG9dEncn32T/

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[petitewishes]

I know you moved on from me now but I still think about you often. I miss how well you treated me dearly. You were such an angel. The one I really took for granted. The thing is I knew, I knew everything about you was perfect. I had come from a toxic family with conditional love, you had come from a family with broken love. But you loved me immensely and it showed. You taught me everything I didn’t learn when you held my hand a certain way and rubbed it with your thumb I had no idea what that was but it was so cute. The memories we made for 10 months I could never forget. You see, 5 years later I still think about you because when we ended I had started talking to “A” for two years. I replaced the void of losing you. Then A left and I realized I never healed. I know your new girlfriend treats you so good fk. You’re going to hit 2 years on September 25th.. a day after my birthday. I was so happy when she made you a diy box birthday gift. You deserved that and more. I’m sorry. I’m sorry I had to go. I had sacrificed are love for Allah and I’m so happy u got her. But I’m still alone. Allah showed me how haram relationships hurt and why they’re haram in the first place. You moved on so fast ... I’m still waiting for someone. I pray I pray my husband will be like you. I am emotional because I listened to two one direction songs that was our songs. I don’t know what to say anymore. I hope I did the right thing by letting him go. He even tried to convert for me. :( on my wedding day I’ll look into the crowd and I’d imagine you all the way in the back smiling back at me. I remember how bad we ended and how I made it worse and dramatic. I could not let you go. I used to text you out of no where a lot every time you would tell me the same thing. Let it go. I stopped texting him when I got sad last year sometime early 2019. I still see him at my same university I guess that’s my guilty pleasure. But yeah I’d look for you in the crowd and I’d smile back at u because after all the shit I had put us through I had finally let you fully go. Allah will reward me won’t he? It was so hard fk. I couldn’t control my emotions and you dealt with the episodes so well. I’m not crazy. It was just 10 months. But we were friends for two years before that. And kept in touch because of my emotions for a whole other year. Basically 4 years plus all these years of college I still see you around. I don’t know what this is.. an I miss you post ? Or I’m sorry post ? I know he doesn’t care anymore. I know he just wants me to move on and be happy. I cannot wait to announce an engagement on instagram, I know his sister, his cousins, and his girlfriend, and friends will see it. I just KNOW he would get text messages at the same time( maybe even a call) saying RIS FUCKING ENGAGED. Inshallah you would then say wow I hope they’re happy. I know he would. I’m so proud I haven’t bothered you again and it’s been about a year. Corona makes it hard but it’s okay. I know it was meant to end. I know i didn’t make a mistake. He’s happy without me for a reason. Sigh... frank. This is goodbye. #thefinalletter #perfect #trulymadlydeeply

7/23/20 ..💔🖤🤍 4 a.m

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@yana.potter.art

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I cannot wait until I’m this tiny | not me

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@mathildegoehler

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[petitewishes]

idc about losing weight so someone else finds me more attractive

idc about being picked up or sitting on someone’s lap

i want to lose weight so I can look at myself again

i want to live up to my own standard of myself

[petitewishes]

“Because in 2 minutes, The junk food will be gone, The taste will be over, And all that will be left, Is the feeling of regret, Just. Like. Last. Time.”

— C'est moi (via angelsrlife)

[petitewishes]

《♡》

[petitewishes]

About to attempt my longest fast, starting 9pm Sunday night and ending 9am this Saturday (132 hours I think). My body usually takes 35 to 40 hours to enter ketosis, which is when your body switches to burning fat. That’s the state I want to hold the longest.

Rules:

🌹 I can have 1 protein shake (180 cals) in the first 48 hours, as long as I burn the calories off afterwards. Just to help the transition.

🌹 Green tea with 2 teaspoons of organic sugar (32 cals) as often as I want for the first 75 hours. But I have to keep track of how many so I can work off the sugar calories.

🌹 After 75 hours, it switches to a total water fast for the rest. 2 liters a day minimum as a goal.

🌹 30 minute work out within the first 24 hours. 20 minute workout the second day. 10 minute workouts the rest of the fast, as long as I don’t feel lightheaded.

🌹 NOT allowed to weight myself until the fast is over, (to avoid discouragement).

🌹 7 to 8 hours of sleep a night, minimum.

🌹 Showers should be followed by 2 minute ice rinses, as long as I don’t feel lightheaded.

Breaking the fast:

🌻 Weigh-in and measurements will be taken on Saturday at 9am, after using the toilet and before a shower.

🌻 Saturday I can only drink green tea and broth, maybe light soup, depending on how I feel.

🌻 Next day I’ll stick to light vegetables, soup and a protein shake.

[petitewishes]

3 MONTHS???

It’s been almost 3 months since I’ve updated ?? Wowwww my life must’ve been crazyyy. Basically I missed to update on summer. Okay so first it was mainly just fasting for the month of ramadan. I also took one summer class which felt weird and I always paid for street parking.

I mentioned before that A and I patched things up. Afterwards, I still had some crying lonely episodes. I prayed to God to help me forget and move on because the pain was getting in the way of things.

And then.. one night.. I joined this comedians instagram live story.. the day I met Ramadan. Shit basically went crazy but I think we’re pretty much cooollll now. Like damn I gotta stop being such an attention seeker. But that drama weirdly helped me get over A??

Things are starting to be a little better in my life and I really don’t want to fuck that up.. I passed the math final exam and got an A in the class (alhumdulilah!), my financial aid was approved for the upcoming year (alhumdulilah!), I am currently typing this from Hyderabad Pakistan (double alhumdulilah!!).

Things were sooo much worse last summer and I don’t want to fuck things up so this is my reminder to myself to stay out of trouble because I almost got into some more tonight after we fixed things on Ramadan’s live.

Ri please don’t ruin your own life! I’m going to enjoy the rest of my trip and then focus on school!! I WILL NOT WORRY ABOUT OTHERS WAYYY MORE THAN MYSELF! I don’t have genuine friends ?? That’s fine, who cares, life goes on! I’ll just make more and more!!

I just want to focus on being a better person and I SERIOUSLYYYYY HAVE TO DO SOMETHING ABOUT THIS WEIGHT!!

I have to have a better body so I can feel happier and more positive, maybe it’ll help my mindset !

Oooooofff that is all!

Yours truly, from a different time zone..

-fat mars thoughts

8/5/19

2:34 am