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3 days since I got back from Australia at GW (95lbs). I've been eating like tofu and salmon. Which is what I was eating while I was there, already gained back 5lbs. It's giving me so much fucking anxiety. I hate it here. I hate this country. Fuck NA food. It's not even food. Like you want me to pay more money for food without crap in it? Food is already fucking expensive. This is illegal in a lot of other countries. Stop fucking poisoning people. You're actively harming people. What the fuck? Time to fucking ⭐ve again. It's not that I hate food. I hate the food here, cause it's not even fucking food.

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Th1nspo that keeps re-occurring in my dreams. (Not mine, DM for removal🖤)

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Him : I can fix her

Her:

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What's in the water? Are you bothered? What's the problem here?

So, I left North America, went to Australia for about a month. I actually ate more there in a day than I would in a week, around 1500cal a day. I lost weight while I was there and actually hit my GW. Dropped 18lbs in a month or maybe even under. Wild. I know the food here is shit and a lot of it is actually illegal in a lot of other places in the world, but it really makes me wonder. If I leave here, would I still have my ED? It just is really confusing. I'm a little scared honestly. It's definitely making me reassess a lot of things. I'm guilty of romanticizing my ED. At the same time I feel like if I don't.. I can't cope with how unhealthy my lifestyle is you know? I want to look a certain way. Now I'm being faced with the fact that maybe I wouldn't even have to have an ED to look a certain way if I just wasn't stuck in a certain place because of what's in the food. Before anyone asks, I eat the same type of food mostly lean meats and sushi (tuna rolls or salmon rolls). I'm really careful around carbs, sugars etc. I had no dietary changes. I'm reaaally careful about what I eat. Anyway I just feel a little lost. I hadn't posted on here the entire time I was abroad. I'm back now though, so hello, it is me.

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Could you please go more into depth about what you mean by use your emotions to conquer your emotions instead of rationalizing them?

I'm no doctor or specialist in psychological or psychiatric matters or pertaining to any neurological science at all. Thusly please take everything that I say with a mound of salt. As human beings we have this fantastic ability to assign labels to each and every thing that exists or for that matter doesn't, I've found. These labels are much stronger than paper stickers; they come in the form of feelings. Some are evolutionary and inexplicable and some are learned. The way I've come to best utilise this labeling mechanism is by loading my brain with these negative and positive prompts when it comes to things I want it to enjoy and things that I want it to dislike. These aren't your simple "This is bad don't do this. Remember how fat you got last time?" Those really don't work, because your brain isn't stupid or simple. You have to understand how fear and reward work. Our brain hates cognitive dissonance without a passion. It doesn't like when we confuse if we hate or enjoy something. How can something give us dopamine while still making us upset? Our brain can justify that as a "not a big deal, so it's fine" since we don't do anything to change it to be more violent of a response. Now what is a more violent response? How do I spurn vitriol towards things so that we don't do them again because our brain understands they're bad? I correlate them with things that absolutely disgust me. I correlate them with myself and channel pure and utter rage towards them. Every negative feeling I hate; I channel towards the object of my ire. The most gut wrenching, anxiety driven feelings and thoughts. For example, I hate spiders, I am deathly afraid of them to the point of paralysis. When I think of certain foods, I've trained my brain to start thinking of spiders. I don't go near these foods anymore or even think about them purely to avoid the mental imagery. I have different assignments for different foods. I do mental exercises all the time to keep these afloat. Then on the flip side, towards the opposite, I channel all the positive. I assign the best feelings of happiness, hope, and clarity. The best memories I have, the things that really make me happy. Whenever I eat celery for example I'm reminded me of the smell of the ocean and the scenery and one of the best memories of my childhood. I can feel the warmth of the campfire burning and I'm instantly in this cozy space. I love celery. Did I before? Noooo. I loathed it. Now it's a comfort food. Please remember that I in no way am sanctioning brainwashing yourself. I'm answering a question in regards to what I do to exercise control over my actions. I don't know if this is right or wrong and I'm not encouraging anyone else to do it. These are just my experiences.

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Did you prepare for your 24-day-fast in any way? Like, only liquids for a few days before or lower your intake or something else, or did you just start? What was your calorie limit before? Has it changed?

Sorry for the many questions. My longest was 100h and I was really struggling with no energy in the end.

Yes I do prepare for my fasts. It's difficult to do an extended fast without properly preparing yourself physically and mentally. Firstly, as I am a female; before my fast I make sure that I'm at the beginning of my hormonal cycle. This is so important, because as a female, you're more likely to follow through with something if your hormones aren't working against you. Secondarily, I start with a low-res diet. Around 350-100cal varying through the days leading to my fast for 3-5 days. Primarily consisting of vegetable juices, tuna, wasa crackers, and plain air popped popcorn. This gets me used to subsisting on less. I'm less likely to binge because my system is shocked at the sudden lack of food. It's used to sustaining itself on very little carbs and calories. Lastly, I motivate myself into it by using positive-negative associations to nostalgia. As human beings, our brain is fundamentally built to utilise our past learned experiences for how we react in our present and future circumstances and stimuli. It's a big tool at our disposal. Unfortunately a lot of times, it's not necessarily in our control and we tend to be at it's mercy. It's good to be self-aware of it. Lest you spend $500 on merchandise catered to your generation banking on your nostalgia. Keeping in mind that I do have an ED that I'm perfectly content with; I don't promote brainwashing yourself. This is just what I do to cope with personal issues. This is also the reason for my lack of binge-eating. I've never struggled with the notorious post-fast-food-introduction-binges. I mentally prepare myself before breaking a fast. When I first eat something after breaking my fast, I immediately start to assign positive-negative associations. People don't often realise how easy it is to get oneself to use emotions to conquer emotions rather than attempt to rationalise them. We're not robots, however we can make contingency plans on how to address our emotions. It's certainly a more secure initiative than to entirely be at their mercy or void them all together.

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goals

so he can carry you without losing his breath.

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Pls how do u fast for so long, I want to do a 14 day fast, and the hardest part 4 me is starting it cuz I crave instant gratification - tips?

I don’t really do tips or encourage anything. I always say this, because I’m in no position to do so. I’m not a doctor or any health practitioner. I suffer from an ED and what I do isn’t for healthy reasons. I have no issues with my ED, because it gives me satisfaction, but that doesn’t mean I encourage ED’s. I don’t want to even have on my conscience that I encouraged someone to be unwell or fed their disorder.

I’m not saying you have one. I don’t know you and I haven’t really checked your account. I don’t know your reasons for wanting to fast. This goes for anyone else that might choose to ask me for tips.

All I can do for anyone is offer my perspective and ask what I do for myself. I’m just blogging my life with my disorder.

The only way in which I can answer your question is from my perspective. I have AN-R. I went into forced recovery and I’m on a mission to lose everything I gained. Why do I have this drive to stop eating for so long? Because I find myself disgusting. I hate my body. I see a misshapen mound of fat when I look at myself. I hate that my control over my body was taken away from me.

I’m mentally and physically incapable of stopping until I’m at my ultimate goal weight. I won’t feel pretty until then and I really really really, need to feel pretty. I want to fit into all my cute clothes before I went into forced recovery.

To say it again, nothing I do or say is ever meant to be taken as a tip. I will never help you with any ED/dietary stuff and no one should. We’re all on our own journeys here and what you do is up to you. If someone decides to help you to starve online give you tips, especially if you give even an inclination towards an ED, they are not your friend. They are not helping you.

I’m sorry if this wasn’t the answer you were looking for, but this the answer I can give you in good conscience.

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yk what's cute? Not eating again..

for 20 days. Fasting time starting tomorrow! I got my check up done and I'm doing good, so I'm safe to start another fast.

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Could you extend on the fat/water for fuel thing you said while fasting please?? Also, some tips? Like you've done this for such a long time it's so impressive

I'm not 100% sure what you're referring to. I'm assuming you're asking about what your body requires to function while still fasting. I'll go into a lot of detail regarding this since I feel like it's important. First of all I'd like to preface this by stating that everyone is different. Some people have deficiencies or immune issues or blood pressure.. the list goes on issues. Before even considering a fast, know your body and it's requirements. I would hate for someone to read anything I write and take my word for it and do something that harms them. I couldn't live that, so please do your research. Regarding what your body needs; if you're already a very thin person, don't fast. You have to understand that when you're eating, your body is burning calories for fuel. When you're not eating, it switches to burning fat. This is ketosis. A lot of the goal of a ketogenic diet is to switch the body over to burning fat for fuel. This is the biggest reason for why people have a really goddamn hard time the first few days of fasting or even starting keto. What people refer to as "keto-flu." It's your body protesting against your switching over to burning fat, when burning calories is so much easier and it's instant energy. Burning fat is a lot more work. So, if you're already thin, your body won't have much fat to burn through. What your body will do instead if burn through muscle and organ tissue. You REALLY do not want that. Bear in mind that even if you have fat deposits, muscle loss is likely to occur anyway, as your body may burn through muscle it thinks you don't necessarily have use for. If you go past a 36h fast, autophagy also begins to occur where your body starts to heal itself. I personally love this and have healed my acne scars through this. I had really bad acne scars and now I have maybe a couple I can see if I look reaaally closely. Putting that aside. You need hydration A LOT of water, and you need fasting minerals (electrolytes). These are mainly sodium, magnesium, and potassium. Now I personally just make snake juice at home, because I like control over what I put inside myself. Water=2L | Potassium chloride =1 tsp | Sodium chloride = 1/2 tsp | Sodium Bicarbonate = 1 tsp Magnesium Sulphate = 1/2 tsp Now it's up to a person to know how long they can fast and how long they should fast, however if you're planning an extended fast. I cannot stress enough to get a general check-up, get professional help during your fast if you can, and monitor your blood pressure and blood sugar levels. Some things I experienced through my many fasts has been throwing up by the way. Usually around day 7-14. I was able to fix this with a mixture of a table spoon of apple cider vinegar and pickle juice. I couldn't drink snake juice anymore, because it was too concentrated it made me feel ill. However the pickle juice had enough minerals to keep me satiated without being overwhelming and the apple cider vinegar balanced me out. No these do not break the fast. This is medically proven to aid with fasting, I didn't just come up with this btw. Also you may find yourself bloated with water as you lose weight and your body decides that it wants to fill the fat you lost with water. Potassium supplements can help with this. Just be careful with your dosage. Little goes a long way. You will pee A LOT. This is normal. You'll pee a lot in the beginning of your fast, as you drop water weight, especially when you got to bed. It slows down towards the middle when your body starts packing on the water. Potassium makes you start the hose again though. Anyway I hope this helps some people, gives some insight. Be careful. Take care of your bodies. Don't be stupid. I can do stupid things, but I try to be a self-aware and well informed idiot. That way I don't have anyone but myself to blame, because I know better.

[pillsandumbrellas]

I am so inspired by you 🤍 how much weight did you lose from your 24 day fast?

Hi! I don't really know how to feel about being an inspiration. Truthfully, I don't feel that I'm deserving of inspiring anyone. Regarding the weight loss; I'm 5'3 and I figure skate and am fairly active daily, so I have a fair amount of muscle. My starting weight was 135lbs on the last day, I was sitting at 120lbs. I lost a total of 15lbs, however 8lbs of that was water weight. After a week of re-introducing food back into my system, I gained the 8lbs of water weight back and am sitting at 128lbs. From what I've noticed and know though, people at higher bmis, tend to lose more weight since their TDE is a lot higher, they burn through a lot more energy. I've seen people lose upwards of 20lbs through their extended fasts, but they've been at a much higher bmi.

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Been a week since I finished my 24 day fast

I'm thinking of starting another one tomorrow. I feel okay now. I need to lose 15lbs more to be at my ugw. This one would last until March 18th, I fly out to Melbourne on the 20th cause I'm starting uni and I would have to eat. It'd probably be best to stop 2 days before, that way I have a few days to re-introduce food back into my system.

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Been fasting for 18 days and 11 hours.

I feel nauseous all the time and all I wanna do is eat pizza and shove my face into a massive cake. As if I would would. Pretty girls aren't weak like that. EDIT: If you're gonna ask me dumb questions and say dumb shit like "wHy AreN'T yOu DeaD" or "YoUr WeIGhT GoNnA CoMe BaCk," stop yourself. I will insult you for not being able to do simple research and not understating how the human body works. Save yourself the embarassment.

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Facts

call me a hater but if you're drinking anything other than water while fasting then you aren't fasting

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She's not acid nor alkaline Caught between black and white Not quite either day or night She's perfectly misaligned

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Love her

Her street style is a whole other lever of iconic