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“Let me get this straight,” he says, crossing his arms at his broad chest. “I’m supposed to tell you stuff I did not like about you, or things you did that I didn’t like, and that is somehow supposed to work toward my ultimate goal of getting you back?”

— Left of Forever

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reblog if it's okay for your mutuals to message you and create an actual friendship, not just interactions

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The Laird's Wicked Game

by Jayne Castel / 4 stars

I've come to know what to expect from Jayne Castel, and she doesn't disappoint. Her research into Scotland, and her authenticity to the time really shines through.

This is second book in the Highland Scandal trilogy, that follows three unmarried sisters as they navigate arranged marriages and failed ones.

Kylie's loveless and abusive marriage has turned her off to the concept all together. A penniless widow, after visiting her sister Liza she comes across Rae Maclean, a widower laird with two uncontrolled young boys who need someone to keep them in line. Kylie offers to teach them, and so she sets off to the Isle of Mull.

Having no children off her own, Kylie wonders if she agreed to more than she can handle with Ailean and Lyle. It doesn't help that their father barks at them, cowing the boys and undermining Kylie.

While trying to navigate how to raise the boys, and to give them the attention they need to thrive, Kylie and Rae come to an agreement. They've both given up on marriage, but that doesn't mean they have to be celibate. 6 months, they'll meet once a week, and when the first snowflower blooms, they'll end their arrangement, no strings and no feelings.

But with the passion simmering between them, can 6 months really be enough? Or will their pasts keep them away from each other for good?

A 14th century historic Scottish romance, I'd rate the spice at a 2/4.

I received an ARC from the publishers through BookSirens, and I am leaving this review voluntarily. All thoughts are my own.

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The Barren Sea

by B.A. Lovejoy / 4 stars

I love the magic of the world of Whynne, and recently bought Kindle copies so I could read the last two I hadn't seen before, and reread the ones I had come across.

This story takes us to Haldia, a place that doesn't have magic, and whose borders have been closed as a war with Whynne takes place. Haldia does have their patron goddess, Navka. Her acolytes, the Navia, are girls chosen and gifted with the ability to change the tides and control the seas. One never sets sail without a Navia abord.

Finn doesn't want to be a Patron. He doesn't want to be in Haldia. He's tasked with mapping the outside world for the King of Whynne. There's no hope of him being rescued, his task is important, but as a half-blood higher fae, he himself is not. When his baggage is confiscated by a soldier at the docks of Haldia, he just wants to collect his things and go home.

After her sister Nina, one of the most talented Navia in a long time, left her home to marry a soldier, Mila feels cursed. The high priest refuses to acknowledge her as a Navia, and this year is her last to be accepted as one. To her surprise, and Dimitri's fury, Mila does have a Patron. She's told to meet him on the cliff.

There she meets Finn, the too-handsome boy she ran into when thinking of attempting to escape on the docks before the ceremony. He was sent to collect his things, not realizing he'd been volunteered as a Patron. But Mila needs a Patron to be a Navia, so she'll follow Finn wherever he needs. To his dismay.

When they find a pirate ship that will grant them passage, Mila agrees to get Finn home. Crossing the Barren Sea is ill-advised, few survive it, and definitely not without a Navia to help them. But these pirates have their own task to complete. Mila must help them find the heart of Navka, something few believe even exists. They must face the reality of the goddess, and what it means to be one of her followers, as well as their own budding feelings.

Once again, I loved this journey. It ebbed and flowed at times, the pace slowing as they traveled, but I never found my interest lagging! I'm going to look for the next book, and will happily explore even more of the greater world beyond Whynne!

I received an ARC from the publishers through BookSirens. I'm leaving this review voluntarily, and all thoughts are my own.

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This is fact.

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I Am the Cage

by Allison Sweet Grant / 5 stars

This book was so powerful. I had so many quotes I wanted to share, and while I'm not normally a poetry girl, the poems in this were raw and moving, and I loved them.

Justine wanted to make a clean break. Going by her middle name, Elisabeth, she moves to a small town, away from everyone she knows and where nobody knows her. She finds a job helping stock shelves at a small local shop, and a small cabin all to herself.

When a snowstorm hits and cuts the power for several days, she's forced to admit that she needs help. Her fire has burned out, and the tarp over her woodpile was swept away, leaving her woefully unprepared. Her neighbor Noah is the sheriff, and her landlord's brother, and he's tried to introduce himself many times. Her trek to ask him for firewood leads to him rescuing her from the snow, and the two spend the following days inside.

Going between then and now, with then being when she was 11 and undergoing a reparative surgery for a defect in her leg. It's a long and torturous process, and young Justine has to face not just the pain that comes from the procedure, but the emotional pain of having those she trusts hurt her and being left alone, on the outside of her family as she becomes just a burden to them.

The way Allison describes chronic pain is one of the most resonating things I've ever read. The way you feel it can't fully be explained, and the way your mind fights to reason with it. To grapple and accept is as reality, even as you're sure that if you described it, you wouldn't be believed. The way it makes you feel as if you're losing your mind, your sense of reality... wow. This book.

Please do mind trigger warnings, there are some details of medical appointments that can be a lot to take.

Thank you to NetGalley and the publisher at Penguin. They recommended this one to me, and I am so glad it found me. The story of healing, the poetry, Noah, they'll stay with me for a long time. I hope everyone gets a chance to read this one!

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Nine Month Contract

by Amy Daws / 3.5 stars

I went back and forth with this one several times. There were parts I really enjoyed, and others I wasn't so big on.

After not finding what he was looking for with a traditional surrogacy clinic, Wyatt thinks he's out of options. Until his niece decides to find the perfect surrogate for him - with a helpful ad drawn up by his brother. This is too unhinged to ever work, and Wyatt has come to grips with never being a dad. After getting burned harshly, relationships aren't for him.

Everly is leaving for college soon, and she wants to do her best to make sure her uncles are happy before she leaves. This means it's time for a little matchmaking. She focuses on Wyatt first, and with the surrogacy ads, she's interviewing the women who respond to see if they'll be a good fit long term. When she meets Trista, Everly knows she's the one.

But Trista has her own issues with trust. She's never known a true family, so she's sure it will be easy to have a baby and collect the cash. When it comes with free housing, and a barn to keep the animal friends she tends to rescue, it's a perfect match. She'll have a start towards opening her own animal rescue once this is all over.

Despite Wyatt's grumpy warnings, his family is eager to meet Trista. Along the way, not only are sparks flying, but Trista is getting a glimpse at what a family looks like for the first time. Having people who would drop anything for you. She tries to remind herself that it's not for her, that she's just doing them a service, but the more time she spends on Fletcher Mountain, the more she wants to make a home there.

This is my second Amy Daws book, so I was expecting the spice - which is on the spicier side. I love the found family aspect - and the animals rescued along the way. Big families that drive each other crazy, but love each other unconditionally don't always come across as genuine, but the Fletchers do. One of the things I wasn't expecting was the language - it could be a bit overkill for me at times. Normally it doesn't bother me, and I find myself not noticing it here and there, but there was definitely a lot in this one, more so than Blindside I felt, the book I'd read previously by the same author. So be prepared for that, and make sure to mind the trigger warnings ahead of the time.

With all that said, I do want to see what happens with Calder and Luke. Calder's romance with Dakota has been introduced, and I want to see Trista get her animal rescue up and running. I feel like Daws is creating a bigger world outside of our main couple (something I felt in Blindside, though I jumped into a side story) and that's something I really enjoyed. Looking forward to the next one!

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“Catch me if I fall, all right?”

“A smile curved his lips in a most delightful manner. “I’ve already fallen hard, Wadsworth. Perhaps you should have warned me sooner.”

— Hunting Prince Dracula

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“I’d like to yell,” said Imogene, “but this hardly seems like the time, does it?” She grimaced, “Willard, can you take the scissors? My hand is getting a cramp.

“Certainly, Miss Strauss.”

“And promise you’ll kill her. No gallantry, now.”

“Madam.” He frowned at her. “I am a butler. Do you truly believe that I don’t know how to dispatch a house guest if required?”

— A Sorceress Comes to Call

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“I don’t see a monster, Thomas.” I paused with a few inches between us. “I see only my best friend. I see kindness. And compassion. I see a young man who’s determined to use his mind to help others, even when he fails miserably at emotional matters.”

His lips twitched, but I still saw the underlying worry in his countenance. “Perhaps we can stick with all the ways in which I’m wonderful…”

“What I mean to say is, I see, Thomas Cresswell.” I placed a gloved hand to his face in the barest hint of touch. “And I think you are truly incredible. Sometimes.”

— Hunting Prince Dracula

I love these two ❤️❤️

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“It’s almost broken. I needed you to come back here, so you could help me break it.”

“Why…”

“Because I’m not a page in a book.”

— The Hazel Wood

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“Hey,” he says, a little out of breath, “What are you doing here?”

I shake my head, disparaging myself. “Nothing. I heard a noise - I see you’re fine, though.” My face heats with embarrassment. “I’m leaving.” I turn back in the direction of my house.

“And you thought you’d come see if I was okay?” He calls.

“No. I…. Uh… no… Oh, shut up.”

— I Am the Cage

🥹🥹 this is everything right now!

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My eyes started to fill with tears. I wanted to tell him about the pain. Not the pain in my leg, but the other pain, the one that there was no medicine for. The one that had invaded my head and my heart and my soul. I wanted to tell him about how empty and lonely and bitter I'd become. What it felt like to wake up in pain and go to sleep with pain and know that there was no end in sight. I wanted to tell him that laughter and tranquility and sleep eluded me, but fear and dread and shame were ever present. I wanted to tell him about the indignity of being trapped in a body that's betrayed you. That it was too much pressure. That sometimes I felt like I was going crazy. That sometimes I felt like I was losing myself.

-- I Am the Cage It kept going. This hurts and is such a relief at the same time.

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I couldn't explain it, but in that second Real Me pushed her way out of the junk drawer and came alive. "You're talking about me like I'm not here. I may be a kid, but that doesn't mean I shouldn't get a say in anything. This is happening to me. No one asked me if I wanted this. I'm not dumb. And I can certainly tell you about my own pain."

"I didn't mean to insult you," he said blankly.

"I'm not insulted. It would be nice to be included."

"Ok," he said, looking at me maybe for the first time ever. "Please, tell me about your pain."

When you're in pain, everybody around you tries to label it. Is it shooting, stabbing, aching? Is it constant or does it come and go? How would you rate it on a scale of zero to ten? Is it sort of frowny or a little frowny or really frowny? The pain must be quantified in order to count.

But the thing about pain is that, when it's with you all the time, it starts to lose its meaning. The difference between a three and a six is inconsequential. Stabbing, throbbing, it doesn't matter. All that matters is you can't think clearly. Everything you know is through the fabric of the pain. Music is muffled. Flowers look wilted. Clouds look grey.

And not only for you - the meaning diminishes for everyone around you, too. They get tired of hearing "it hurts." They get tired of the tears. And so they just stop asking all together.

The pain is still there, but you can't describe it anymore because it's become the background of your every experience. It's the wind in the trees. The breath in your lungs. The wallpaper in every room.

-- I Am the Cage Holy crap. This. I'm extremely lucky to have the support that I have. To have the family and friends that I do. That they haven't stopped asking. But all of this? 😭😭

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"Perhaps you're too young to know. I suppose it's only the sort of thing you learn with time. If a man keeps bringing up another woman's name, be on your guard. He'll tell you that they're friends or that it's over between them, but if her name's on his tongue, it means she's in his thoughts. Remember that, won't you?"

"Yes, Mother," whispered Cordelia, thinking, Who the hell cares what some hypothetical man is thinking about, you murdered a woman last night!

-- A Sorceress Comes to Call

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Reblog if you've found friendship because of your fandoms.

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I'd worried about holding them back, but I'd been left behind.

-- I Am the Cage