piratehookabortions

[piratehookabortions]

Dear gay people, who’s the dungeon and who’s the dragon? Checkmate.

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Nevermore Academy is literally just Tumblr University

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In the miiverse no one knows you’re dead

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[piratehookabortions]

If i were a serial killer i would move to like siberia because you know those village people would believe its like a big wolf doing it or some shit

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White moms on facebook be like

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I can’t fucking handle this

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OH MY GOD APPARENTLY TAKING AN ARROW TO THE KNEE WAS AN OLD NORDIC SLANG FOR GETTING MARRIED 

I THOUGHT THAT ALL THOSE GUYS IN SKYRIM HAD LITERALLY BEEN SHOT IN THEIR KNEES WITH ARROWS BUT I GUESS NOT

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Why do I have to learn and have a job and shit? I just wanna be an ancient greek bard like Homer and tell stories and shit all day and people just give me money.

[piratehookabortions]

Thank God my alarm went off because one of you even attempted to wake me. 

Okay guys I’m really hoping you’re going to come through for me unlike last year. Please wake me up when September ends. It is very important.

[piratehookabortions]

Halloween is the best holiday.

Costumes? Check.

Candy? Check.

Being able to let my inner skeleton come out one day a year and roam the village undisturbed by a flesh prison? Check.

What’s not to love?

[piratehookabortions]

Okay guys I’m really hoping you’re going to come through for me unlike last year. Please wake me up when September ends. It is very important.

[piratehookabortions]

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